Bride Doll

by Elizabeth Nancy Jansen

  They got to his room on the top floor of the massive hotel. The evening light softly filtered through the room. Nia’s only decision that night was whether or not to enter her lascivious side with the full intention of experiencing its uncharted land. The bags were put down on the chesterfield, and the Cointreau placed on the side table by the enormous bed.

  Nia let her lioness within take his arm and led him into the massive white bathroom with the glass shower. Still fully clothed, she could see her reflection in the full-length, mirror and she approved of the diva looking back at her.

  Nia reached in and turned on the shower. She pressed her finger onto his lips, signifying that he was to follow her lead.

  When Nia was weakened with splendour, he turned the shower off and wrapped her in warm, luxurious white towels. He carried her to the bed and threw back the white linen duvet. Without missing a beat, their intimacy continued deep into the night.

  Early the next morning, she laughed while hearing the shower running and her French lover singing, “Oh Canada.”

  Even though Nia’s French connection was short-lived, it was the pivotal point in her knowing she was not the sexual disappointment Simon made her believe throughout their marriage. She had proved to herself she was a beautiful, sensual, and sexual woman. Nia knew she desired an attentive, appreciative, sensual, and sexual man. Her French lover was all of that and more.

  Chapter 30

  Nia Meets Fernando

  Nia met another alluring man in a bar in London. She was out with her cousin, Alice, having a marvellous time, both enjoying the freedom of the single life. Live music played, and the two were happy grooving to the tunes when four men approached their table, wanting to sit down. They’d been watching Nia and Alice beaming with whatever they were discussing.

  Alice had been living with Nia for approximately six months following her own divorce. Nia opened her door to her dear cousin, knowing the pain of having an unfaithful husband.

  Alice was devastated when she first arrived at Nia’s home; she felt eviscerated to her core. For the first week, Alice couldn’t eat, sleep, or walk. Nia physically had to help her with all of her basic functions. Over time, they helped each other heal from the emotional abuse their husbands both felt entitled to deliver.

  On that evening in June 1989, the two beauties were in a fine, playful mood. Nia was excited because she was about to embark on another rendezvous with Christophe in Cincinnati. The thirty-something-year-old bachelor group were obviously attracted to the lovely ladies. The four of them didn’t intimidate Nia or her cousin in the least. As the evening transpired, the playfulness continued. Nia’s attention was drawn to one of the four men, Fernando, primarily by his notable ability to be multilingual. The interaction that evening was frisky and highly flirtatious. Both Alice and Nia could serve up outrageous and funny innuendos like a tennis match while the bachelors kept turning their heads from one banter to the next. The boys were putty in their hands, and the two cousins ruthlessly toyed with them.

  For the next few Saturday nights, the playful bar bantering continued. By the end of the July-long weekend, Nia and Alice decided to have a pool party at Nia’s home. Aviana and Andrew were with their dad for the entire month of August, and they had left earlier that Saturday morning. (Nia was very careful to keep her children away from her dating life. It was now three years since the end of her marriage with Simon. She and the children were well use to the pattern of Mom’s time and Dad’s time over the course of each week, school break, and holiday.)

  The four bachelors arrived at the pool party in a limo, obviously excited to be invited to Nia’s pool party.

  The bachelors couldn’t believe the grandness of Nia’s residence and were curious about her living situation. Of course, Nia kept the party playful and didn’t indulge in their curiosity. She and Alice just wanted to continue their teasing banter in their exquisite bikinis in the candlelight of Nia’s backyard, not answer serious questions about their pasts.

  Nia loved the male attention she never had from her first marriage. As she dashed into the kitchen to get more ice, she noticed her reflection in the hall mirror. The flow of her long blonde hair, her fucia lips grinning, her very sexy teale coloured bikini, and a demeanor of glorious playfulness made even herself surprised at her own radiance.

  That’s how Fernando Santos and Nia started on such a playful note. Fernando had never had a serious love relationship in his adult life. Being the eldest in a traditional immigrant family, it was his duty to lead the family and future generations into a respected, higher quality of life. As a result, Fernando focused on only two areas—his education and hockey. His keenness for both became obsessions that he couldn’t detach from when life happened.

  Nia misread the warning signs concerning Fernando. (She should’ve known better!) He displayed no ability or intention to interact with maturity and interdependence as in a healthy, lifelong partnership versus a co-dependent relationship in an unhealthy relationship as she had with Simon. Ultimately, that’s what Nia wanted and needed. She should’ve kept herself open to future opportunities when such a man would find her.

  Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case for neither Fernando nor her. Nia naively believed she could “fix” Fernando. He naively coasted into her domain, soaking up her abundance of love and care without giving any need for his own emotional maturity and development.

  Fernando Santos was easy for Nia. He was the polar opposite of Simon. She had grown emotionally but was thrown off by her own bit of newly acquired independence and ego. To Fernando, she hit all the “features” he was looking for in a woman: beautiful, slim, well educated, financially independent, homeowner, and well employed. The only negative features he saw with Nia were that she was a divorcee with two children.

  Despite the later two features, dating progresses happily for both of them. Nia loved fitting into his Portuguese family. Even though she knew she didn’t meet his parents’ preconceived ideas of what their firstborn’s possible intended spouse might be. They almost immediately started loving her for her genuine magnetism. Unbeknown to Nia, Fernando was delighted Nia was Catholic.

  For Nia, it was very different than her relationship with Simon’s family. There was no judgement or arrogance, only acceptance, inclusion, and family fun. Her relationship with Fernando progressed into a comfortable rhythm for both of them. Every other weekend, the children would be with Simon. On those weekends, romantic, indulgent pleasures were the consistent theme.

  After a year into the relationship and a gradual introduction of Avianna and Andrew to Fernando, Nia’s family dynamics started to get a little blurry for the children. Fernando began coming for dinner on school nights, helped with homework, went with her and Avianna to Andrew’s hockey games (which really pissed Simon off). It progressed into sleepovers on school nights.

  Nia could tell the children were overhearing things at Simon’s place about Fernando by their innocent questions to her. “Dad says your shacking up. What’s shacking up?”

  Nia was beginning to become rattled by her core values of her children coming first. Things with Fernando had to change. It was September 1990, and there was a Portuguese family wedding pending. She and Fernando had a wonderful night of dancing, eating delicious seafood, chocolate desserts, and drinking amazing Portuguese wines. This was the first time that Fernando’s extended family had the chance to meet his much talked about “namorada.” Nia didn’t disappoint. She wore a rich red evening gown in her usual grandeur of subtle elegance oozing of sensuality. She and Fernando held an audience while they swayed on the dance floor and schmoozed each family table almost as if they were the bride and groom.

  Following that Portuguese family wedding, Nia felt such acceptance, love, appreciation, respect, and attention from Fernando’s family. It was coming down to a crossroad for her and her children. She knew she didn’t want a live-in “boyfriend” to be in the mix with her newfound independence with her children.

  She fe
lt she no longer had clear boundaries where her children were totally separate from her dating life. Nia began to put more thought into this relationship, knowing her family values were of utmost importance to her. Nia decided to talk about these values with Fernando and suggested they take a break in the relationship.

  Fernando was quite blindsided by this discussion. Everything was going his way. He thought he had a gorgeous, sensual woman, who loved to cook, adored his mother, and was financially independent, but suddenly she was talking about taking a break. Fernando was visibly taken aback by her wish and, without further discussion, calmly said goodnight.

  The weekend passed, and Nia couldn’t tell if she was relieved or regretful of wanting to take a break from Fernando. What she realized was she missed her alone time to recharge her batteries.

  Over the course of the next two weeks, life resumed its normal flow. Nia was somewhat surprised the kids didn’t raise the topic of Fernando, and neither did she.

  Chapter 31

  Maria and Carlos

  Maria had grown up in Porto, Portugal, and immigrated to Canada by ship passage across the Atlantic to Halifax’s Pier Twenty-One in January 1953—when she was only nineteen. She had chosen to come to Canada to join her fiancé of three years after maintaining their engagement by mailing romantic letters monthly.

  Due to persisting post-war economic hardships, Maria’s family immigrated to Brazil, which meant staying in Porto was no longer an option for her. She grappled with her choices before using her fiancé’s money to purchase transport to Canada. She traveled by train from Halifax, Nova Scotia, to London, Ontario. She descended the train to fierce winds taking her thin coat up past her waist with the hemline whipping at her cheeks. Clenching her coat collar, she saw her fiance, Carlos Santos, rushing toward her, bearing a bouquet of red carnations. (She would’ve preferred red roses but considered that perhaps Canada didn’t have any roses.) Maria appreciated the gesture and the deep kiss, instantly heated by his embrace.

  Carlos scooped up her small suitcase and whisked her to an old Chevy Suburban borrowed from his uncle to pick up his soon-to-be bride. He drove the short distance from the train station to the courthouse. Maria didn’t realize her day of arrival would also be her wedding day. She assumed they were going to an official office to have her immigration papers reviewed.

  Flustered and quite taken aback, Maria excused herself to the dingy restroom to splash cold water on her face. Looking into the mirror, she saw a tired yet exhilarated beautiful Portuguese woman in a land that was cold and bleak. Maria quickly realized she had no alternative but to proceed with her intended’s plan.

  In only her travel clothes, the bouquet of red carnations tied up with a white hair ribbon retrieved from her purse was the only bride-like adornment she had. As she returned from the restroom, Carlos caught her eye and gave her the most captivating smile. Believing in his love for her, Maria proudly walked with him toward the Justice of the Peace to pronounce them husband and wife.

  After the civil union, Maria and Carlos Santos sat in the back in the old Chevy while Carlos’s uncle drove. She was caught up in the delight of the wedding excitement and was looking forward to their next stop.

  As Maria stepped out of the car, she noticed Carlos’s facial expression turn as bleak as the weather. The couple entered through the back door to a small kitchen chock full of Portuguese people of varying shapes, sizes, and ages. The gleeful sounds abruptly ended as a tiny, hunched-over older woman dressed from head to toe in black entered the room. Carlos must have stepped away because Maria, still with her coat on and her bouquet of carnations in hand, faced the woman without him at her side. The elderly woman approached Maria and reached for her face with her old, cold, skinny hands. Her sunken eyes stared directly in Maria’s, and the two stood eyeball to eyeball. Her fierce, penetrating glare chilled Maria to her core.

  And so, this was the beginning of Maria’s married life in London, far from the loving arms of her family now located in an equally foreign land in South America. The head of her new family was certainly not her husband. He was the eldest of his six siblings, all sisters. Carlos was the breadwinner for this household filled with Portuguese estrogen. All the sisters were jovial and thrilled to have Maria fill their house with her happy songs. Her mother-in-law certainly didn’t share the sentiment.

  Maria had only two purposes; to care for the matriarch of the family and to make babies. By February 1954, it was clear she was fulfilling her obligations and gave birth to her cherished firstborn, Fernando. Immigrant mothers were given a choice to stay in hospital once stabilized or not given the language barrier. Maria wanted to go home because she didn’t understand or want anything to do with bottle feeding her Fernando. Nothing gave her more pleasure than to hold, breastfeed, and sing to her beautiful baby boy. She realized this was her purpose in life and wholeheartedly embraced being a mother.

  Throughout her restricted life, Maria maintained some self-sustaining joy in her heart, powered by an unlimited abundance of love. Resilience and her unwavering dedication to her family were reasons why Nia willingly entered Maria’s family.

  Nia could see the all too familiar parallels between Maria’s wedding and her mother’s. Religion was the common denominator. For both of them, there was the huge disappointment of not having a full Catholic wedding. Similarly, they weren’t able to freely practice their lifelong devotion to being Catholic. Maria was forced to live an unconscionable life where she couldn’t even baptize her babies in her faith. Her now widowed mother-in-law, once a Catholic, converted to Jehovah’s Witness shortly after she immigrated to Canada. For some dark secret that she held up in her vault of solid convictions, she drastically changed her faith. Hell had no fury like the antagonism of Maria’s four-foot-ten, hunched-over dictator of a mother-in-law.

  Chapter 32

  Wedding Number Two

  Fernando was not doing so well on his home front. His mother knew something was off the very first night when he came home on a weekend night. “What’s wrong? What did you do? Is Nia ok?” Each day became more miserable for him and his family.

  It was Friday afternoon of their third week apart, and Nia was checking on her last few patients before heading off for the day. She heard her pager go off and went to the telephone.

  It was Fernando. “Hi, it’s been a few weeks. I miss you. Can I take you to the Hunt Club for dinner tonight?”

  Nia was getting a little bored. She needed an evening of dining and dancing. Was she starting to miss Fernando? Was this a good idea? She was asking herself these questions, but she didn’t have a good answer in that moment for either of them. So, she frivolously said, “Yes.”

  The evening was exquisitely curated (likely by Fernando’s brother as Fernando didn’t have the talent or interest in such detail). After the delicious dark chocolate covered strawberries and cappuccinos, Fernando stoically stood up. He reached for Nia’s left hand, got down on one knee, and said, “Nia, would you please be my wife?”

  Nia was shocked. She hadn’t seen that coming. She thought the relationship had taken a turn to go in separate directions. A proposal was truly a giant step for Fernando.

  While all these thoughts were steamrolling through her head, he presented her with the most exquisite diamond ring she’d ever seen. “Yes, Fernando, I will marry you.” The words rolled off her tongue as if unexplainably, someone else was speaking for her.

  For her second marriage, Nia’s wedding dress was more glamorous than demure. Elegant lace adorned the front top of the gown, extending over her shoulders down each arm, coming to a gentle point on the back of each hand. Small, pearl glazed, white sequins embellished the lace, which gave a mother of pearl illusion in evening lighting. Cascading from the fitted, tiny waistline (lending no evidence of the previous pregnancies), tiers of ruffled tulle adorned with the same pearl-lustred sequins scattered throughout the full length of the skirt.

  Nia clearly had no fear of displaying her newfound beauty. She
was proud of her strength, courage, confidence, independence, and, without a doubt, her sensuality. The backless gown embraced these attributes, dramatically exposing the exquisiteness of her slender anatomy dipping down to the small of her spine. The ultimate adornment was the draping of seven strings of pearls across her back. The front of the gown looked haute couture, while the back of the dress was unquestionably breathtaking. Nia felt as radiant as she looked.

  It wasn’t until the limo ride to the ceremony that Nia’s mother and father met Carlos and Maria and discovered their destination wasn’t to a Catholic church.

  “What?” Never had Monique experienced a Portuguese family that wasn’t Catholic. Flynn gave Monique a stern look; this wasn’t the time or place to react to the piece of information that was important only to her.

  Despite the disappointment over the wedding’s location, Monique (like Nia) was immediately taken with Maria’s warm, loving nature. The five shared friendly conversation on the ride to the church, which helped ease some of Nia’s nerves.

  Large, fluffy snowflakes settled down around Nia as she walked from the limo holding the skirt of her gown high. The snowflakes glistening, in harmony with the lustre of her sequins, gave her the illusion of an enchanted queen. Winter was definitely Nia’s favourite time of the year. What better time than the festive spirit of Christmas to have a wedding?

  Nia proceeded down the aisle, stunning those attending with her radiant grace and elegance. At the front of a non-denominational church, her soon-to-be husband resumed his anxious state, looking to his bride for some calming reassurance and encouragement.

  Some of Fernando’s nervousness faded as he met her gaze in the tiny church packed full of people they loved. He watched his bride approach, flanked on either side by her parents.