Full Figured 13

by Mona Love

  “I’ll be right back,” I told Leitha. When I stood up, I could feel myself swaying. I was feeling the liquor coursing through my system. I can’t lie, I was starting to feel a little like I had no cares in the world. I stumbled into the bathroom. Inside, I looked at myself. If only Malek, Wilson, Darius, all of the dudes I tried to have something with could see me now: moving on, rich as hell, having fun, and totally different from the unsure fat girl they’d dumped.

  After a few minutes, my face changed. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t happy. Money didn’t matter. I was still a million dollars’ worth of fat. The thoughts had me boiling inside. I balled my hands into fists and bit down into my jaw. My chest rose and fell with anger. “All of y’all wasn’t worth it anyway!” I said through gritted teeth under my breath. My head was swaying with anger, sorrow, and liquor.

  I rushed out of the bathroom still wobbly as hell. I just wanted to go home now. I couldn’t stand being out anymore with all of the recurring thoughts.

  “Ugh!” I grunted as I ran head first into someone. I almost fell I had hit into the person so hard.

  “Oh, my God! I’m so sorry!” I slurred. I put my hand over my mouth. I had run into a guy and spilled his drink all over his crisp white shirt.

  “Don’t worry about it,” the guy said smoothly.

  My heart felt like it had seized in my chest. I recognized that voice anywhere. I swallowed and looked dead in his face.

  “Andre?” I gasped.

  “Keisha?” he replied. “Wow. We just literally keep running into one another.”

  I felt hot all over. He was right! What was the universe trying to tell me? This was absolutely crazy and insane.

  “I’m so sorry for ruining your shirt,” I said apologetically. I wanted to reach out and try to clean it or just reach out and touch him period.

  “Aye. Don’t worry about it. This old thing ain’t nothing new,” Andre assured me, his deep voice making me warm up inside.

  I shifted my weight nervously and partly because my damn feet were killing me in those heels. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson wearing skinny bitch shoes by now.

  “So how have you been? I called you,” Andre said, right to the point.

  I looked into his face. I felt slightly flushed. Damn! He was still just as fine as I knew him to be. I was immediately aware that I was blushing like hell.

  “I’ve been okay. You know, just trying to find my purpose in life,” I lied.

  “Your purpose? Isn’t it to just be beautiful?” he replied.

  I batted my eyelashes and exhaled. Damn. He was so fucking smooth. “Thank you. You’re not too shabby yourself,” I joked.

  Andre smiled, and we both laughed. I took in all of his features. They were just like I remembered. The things that stuck out the most, and that I guess I’d been too bashful to look and notice before, were the deep dimples that he had in both of his cheeks.

  “Well, since my drink is gone, come to the bar and let me replace my drink and get you one,” he said, placing his hand on the small of my back. It was a bold move. It also made me even more attracted to him. His touch was as electric as I remembered. I smiled and followed his lead. I didn’t even think about Leitha and some of our friends in VIP. Money or not, that wasn’t really my scene. Hanging with the pretentious didn’t do anything for me.

  As we slid onto the bar stools, I watched Andre order our drinks. His swagger was undeniable, but there was also something very gentleman-like about him. In that moment I felt like I could be okay being his friend if nothing else. I was over fighting to make someone all mine. I felt like I genuinely liked Andre as a person and wanted to get to know him before I just tried to lock him down. That was my past mistake, and I wasn’t going to make it over and over again. Not when it seemed like God kept putting this man in front of me over and over again.

  “So, I know you can’t be here alone,” Andre turned to me and said as he handed me my drink.

  “Oh, no, my best friend dragged me out,” I answered, nodding toward the VIP section.

  Andre laughed. “You party in VIP? So your lottery story was true?” he asked, kind of chuckling. I almost choked on my drink. He had called me after I told him the story in Mr. Chow’s but never believed me? That meant maybe he wasn’t just calling for the reason the other assholes had been calling and creeping back around. Maybe Andre just really wanted to get to know me.

  “Let’s just say I don’t make up stories,” I said.

  “Okay, okay. That’s something. I would think you’d run out of New York and live someplace exotic,” he said.

  “Nope. This is home and all I know. Money or no money, I just want to be happy and live a regular life. It’s nice to be able to buy things or to hang out in places like this and be in VIP once in a while, but honestly, my entire goal is to just be settled and happy,” I said with feeling.

  “Aw, man. That just touched me. A lot of people wouldn’t be honest like that. Most would pretend that money was all they needed in life,” Andre replied.

  I chuckled at his “aw.” I could feel the liquor completely taking hold of me. I wanted to play it cool though. “What do you want out of life?” I asked.

  He took his drink to the head and smiled at me. “You know, no woman has ever asked me that,” he said.

  That surprised me, and my eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

  “Really. I think a lot of women just see me as a handsome face and nice body. I actually haven’t found a woman who could hold a conversation the way you can, Keisha,” he said.

  Wow. My heart did something when he said that. I kind of felt the same way about him. “Well, how else will I get to know my lucky lottery number knight in shining armor savior?” I joked.

  Andre laughed. “True. True,” he said through his laughter.

  “Well? Answer the question,” I pressed. “What do you want out of life?”

  “Honestly, I want to love and be loved. I want to build a family and be a regular husband and father. The total opposite of what I grew up with,” Andre said honestly.

  I felt like this man was speaking to my heart directly. I could feel tears welling up in the backs of my eyes. I refused to cry. That would’ve just made me look like a straight nutjob. Crying in the middle of the club? Oh, my goodness, could you even imagine that dumb shit?

  “Same here. I just want to do the opposite of what I grew up with,” I agreed. It was the damn truth. I raised my glass and sipped my drink.

  “There you are,” Leitha said, suddenly materializing out of nowhere at my side.

  “Leitha, this is Andre,” I said, widening my eyes at her so she got the hint. “Andre, this is my best friend Leitha.”

  “Nice to meet you, Leitha,” Andre said, extending his hand and shaking hers.

  Leitha smiled at me wickedly. “Andre, why don’t you join us in VIP?” she said with a cocky tone.

  Andre put up his hands. “I don’t want to intrude on your good time.”

  “It’s not an intrusion,” I blurted. I didn’t want to part from him. I felt like I couldn’t let him just get away this time. Something about this felt like a last chance.

  “Yeah, no intrusion. Now come on, we have the whole section to ourselves, and I can tell my girl is feeling you,” Leitha said boldly, grabbing Andre’s arm and damn near yanking him off the barstool.

  Yeah, she was definitely tipsy as hell. I shook my head, but I didn’t protest. I knew Leitha was always going to do whatever she thought was going to make me happy, and for that, I was grateful.

  Andre and I had a good time. We danced, we laughed, we drank and laughed some more. It was a lot of fun. As the night went on, I felt closer and closer to Andre. I wasn’t hard-pressed to make him my man. He didn’t appear to be pretending to like me. With the liquor completely taking over all of my senses, I whispered in Andre’s ear that I promised to call him. He whispered back that he hoped so.

  I actually didn’t want our night to end. Leitha had come over once t
hey started calling last call at the bar. Leitha grabbed my arm and held on to me. “Time to go, lovebird,” she had whispered.

  I was feeling too good to let her break it up. I just laughed at her. “Don’t be a party pooper,” I slurred, snickering like a schoolgirl.

  “No, seriously, girl, it’s time to go,” she said.

  I introduced Leitha and Andre again and instantly they both started laughing. Leitha rolled her eyes. Andre chuckled.

  “You already introduced us, silly,” Leitha said.

  I looked at Andre and giggled. Of course, that was the liquor.

  “You’re gorgeous,” Andre said boldly.

  “No, you’re gorgeous,” I told him.

  “Time to go,” Leitha interjected.

  We all headed out of the club. Andre held my elbow to make sure my fat ass didn’t fall. I was seriously tipsy. I hadn’t had a thought about Malek after I saw Andre.

  He walked us to Leitha’s Range Rover, which we had valet parked. I didn’t know what made her drive, knowing we would be drinking. Andre seemed worried about that.

  “Maybe you ladies should take an Uber home,” he said.

  “We’re good,” Leitha proclaimed. “I’m not drunk. Tipsy, yes. Drunk, naw.”

  “How about I drive you all home and you come back tomorrow for the car?” Andre insisted.

  “Don’t you just love how much of a gentleman he is,” I whispered to Leitha. Well, I thought I was whispering, and we all know drunk whispering is just speaking like you’re out of breath but loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “Trust me. I don’t mind driving you all home. In fact, I’ll drive your car and then Uber back to mine. How does that sound?” he insisted.

  “If you insist,” I giggled. “You are just too good to be true. Let me pinch you and see if you’re real.” I pinched his arm.

  “Oww,” Andre belted out. “You know I’m real. Really feeling you,” he said.

  “Oh, my God. I’m in heaven,” I slurred as Andre helped me into Leitha’s car.

  “Me too,” he said.

  I smiled so wide I was sure all of my teeth were showing. This was too good to be true. I was loving every minute of it. I was definitely feeling this thing called fate. Shit, I wasn’t that drunk.

  * * *

  When we got to my luxury high-rise, Andre helped me out of the car. I just kept a lazy, alcohol-induced grin on my face.

  “When will I see you again?” he asked.

  “When do you want to see me again?” I said seriously.

  “Keisha, I don’t want to lose touch with you. I really want to get to know you,” he said.

  I rolled my eyes. The self-doubt was creeping back in on me.

  “How come you want a fat girl like me, Andre? You can have all the beautiful girls in the world out there,” I asked, my tone serious.

  “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I know, inside and out,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever constantly thought about a woman after I’ve parted from her like I have you since the day in the mall. Some things just can’t be explained. Sometimes in life we just have to go with it,” Andre said.

  I wanted to break down, but I think the liquor saved me. He was saying all of the right things, but so did Malek and all of the others.

  Perfect! Just what I want! He is so damn perfect! I screamed inside of my head. I remained silent. I could feel Leitha looking at me.

  “I’m going to call you,” I said sincerely. I closed my eyes, leaned up, and kissed Andre on the lips. “I’m definitely not going to let you get away from me again.”

  * * *

  After a twenty-four-hour hangover, I finally got up the nerve to reach out to Andre. Even in and out of my hangover sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Leitha kept asking me when I was going to call him. She was annoying sometimes.

  Finally, I scrolled through phone until I came to his number. Without thinking too hard about it, I hit the CALL button but hung up after the second ring. Is it too soon for all of this? I am not even ready. I can’t do this again. Maybe he is just being nice and we can be friends.

  I chewed on my bottom lip as I contemplated my next move. I could feel Leitha watching me, but I wasn’t going to be pressured. I had made up my mind that I would live for me and not for everyone else.

  I was kind of mad at myself that I’d lost the nerve to call him just that fast. I massaged the sides of my head. My mind raced. I didn’t want to jump right into dating after all that I’d been through. That would’ve been stupid. But I didn’t want Andre to think I was blowing him off. He had been nothing but nice to me.

  It’s just a friendly call. I’m not trying to date him or anything. This is strictly platonic.

  I took a deep breath and courageously hit the CALL button again. I closed my eyes and waited for Andre to answer.

  I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath when I heard Andre’s deep voice filter through the phone. It was just as sexy as it was the other night. Andre was definitely an unforgettable man who I just so happened to keep running into, literally. Fate was a strong bitch. She didn’t give up for nothing.

  “Andre? Hey, it’s Keisha,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. If smiles had a sound, Andre would’ve surely been able to hear mine.

  “I’m glad you called,” Andre replied. “I was starting to think I had pissed you off or something.”

  “No. No. Just been hung over,” I said, hiding my angst.

  “Ah, I understand. Look, I thought about the other night, and I didn’t want you to think I was coming on too strong. I didn’t want you to think I was some creep,” Andre said.

  I laughed. “You a creep? The man who picked me up from the floor of the mall and got me the right size flip-flops in Target? A creep? No way,” I joked. We both laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. Talking to Andre, I always had the best laughs. That was important to me.

  “Okay, I won’t lie. I am attracted to you. I have been from the first day,” Andre said honestly. “Keisha, I really want to get to know you on a deeper level.”

  My stomach lurched. I was attracted to Andre as well. But how would it look if I started dating again so soon after everything with Malek? The whole idea of dating made my stomach hurt to the point of nausea.

  “How does drinks and dinner sound?” Andre asked when he didn’t get a response from me.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m okay with that so long as we keep it friendly. I’m just not looking to date right now. I’ve been through a lot in the past year,” I said honestly.

  “Totally understandable. Let’s start out slow. Give me a chance and maybe I can change your mind over time,” Andre replied.

  Wow! I smiled so wide all of my teeth were showing. “You’re right. Slow and steady wins the race, right?” I said.

  “How about this evening?” Andre blurted.

  “Uh, sure,” I answered, immediately feeling panicked about my hair, nails, everything.

  “I’ll come by and grab you around eight,” he said.

  “Friendly dinner and drinks at eight,” I clarified.

  “Friendly dinner at eight,” Andre repeated with a hint of joy in his voice.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  “Can’t wait.”

  I didn’t realize how wide I was smiling until my moment was interrupted by Leitha pressing me for information as soon as I got off the phone. My mouth quickly flattened into a straight line. I didn’t want my friend to think I was rushing to the rebound date.

  “It’s nothing. Just going to get some drinks. No more crying over spilled milk,” I said evenly.

  “Good for you,” Leitha said. “Now you gonna have to do something with that hair if you’re going out.”

  I ran my hands over my hair. “You damn right about that,” I agreed.

  After going through my entire closet, I contemplated canceling my dinner date with Andre. Nothing seemed perfect enough to go out with Mr. Perfect. Leitha would not hear of it.
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br />   “Listen, I’ll call Gail and Deidre. Shit, they will make house calls as your glam team if you paying, and you damn sure can afford to pay. I will go grab you something cute to wear since you probably need all day for that head and lots of makeup for them bags under your eyes,” Leitha said.

  She kept her word and returned to with a gorgeous Gucci smock-style dress. I didn’t know how Leitha always pulled shit off, but she did. Shit, I didn’t even know Gucci made shit in my size. She also copped me some very cute booties. Almost five hours of work later, I was dressed and sweating and nervous as fuck. I felt like I was going on my first date ever. What the hell was it about Andre that always made me feel so, I don’t know, alive, I guess you could call it?

  “How do I look?” I asked, stepping back into the living room after I finished getting dressed.

  Leitha, my hairdresser, Gail, and the makeup artist, Deidre, all turned around to check me out.

  “I don’t know why you even have to ask. You know damn well your ass is fine with a capital F,” Gail announced, waving her hands for emphasis. I felt fat as usual. I walked over to my floor-length mirror and tugged at the dress and adjusted it.

  “Ugh! Y’all don’t think I look way too fat in this?” I groaned.

  Leitha rolled her eyes. Deidre sucked her teeth. Gail made some kind of noise that sounded like a groan.

  “Fat? Girl, please. We’ve been telling you that your ass is pleasantly plump and far more beautiful than you think for years,” Gail said. “Shit, I wish I had that gorgeous skin you got.”

  “I’m just not feeling how I look. And I’m nervous as hell about this. The whole ‘trying to impress someone’ all over again. I hate starting over and the whole pressure of first dates and then getting to know someone again,” I said, flopping down on the couch. “Fucking tired of this.”

  Leitha rushed over to me and shook my shoulders. “Stop it. It’s not starting over. You not trying to marry the dude. He has been nothing but nice to you every time you’ve seen him. You said you were going to take things slow, but I say do whatever your heart tells you to do. You can’t always count yourself out. Sometimes you have to just let things happen and not force it. There’s a reason he keeps popping up. I mean, maybe he’s your redemption song. Shit, his name did make you a millionaire. You can’t get no better than that,” Leitha said, giving my shoulders a playful shake.