A Wise Child

by A Wise Child (retail) (epub)

  ‘I know, girl,’ Sam said grimly. ‘I’ve had it all me life. It gets me that bloody mad because we can’t do nothing about it.’

  He stood up and began to stride about the kitchen. ‘We’ve got to take it from the likes of them but by God, Ellie, I won’t take it from me own class. I’m not having them putting me down and I’ll fight any man that tries it, by God I will.’

  ‘It’s Tommy I’m thinking about,’ Nellie challenged him.

  Sam said quickly, ‘And so am I, girl.’

  ‘He’s never going to be treated like this, I’m determined,’ Nellie said. ‘I’m going to get him away from here. He’s going to have a better life than what we’ve had and no one is ever going to treat him bad. He’ll get respect all his life, I’ll see that he does.’

  Her face was red and her eyes glittering and Sam went to her in alarm.

  ‘All right, all right, girl, don’t get worked up,’ he said. ‘Lay down for a bit. Why did they keep you in?’

  ‘Concussion, they called it,’ Nellie said, allowing herself to be settled on the sofa and her shawl spread over her. ‘I’m sorry, Sam. It just makes me so mad.’

  ‘I know, girl,’ he soothed her. ‘Don’t worry about our Tommy. I’ve got me plans too. Between us he’ll be living like a rajah.’

  Janey had returned to the kitchen when Katy brought Tommy later. ‘He was like a hen on a griddle until he seen you,’ she explained. ‘But he can come back to ours while you have a rest.’

  ‘It’s all right, thanks, Katy,’ Nellie said, hugging Tommy. ‘I’m all right now and he can stay with me.’ She saw Katy looking at the dressing on her head and she said, ‘I fell and cut me head on the corner of the dresser and they kept me in in case I had concussion.’

  ‘And did you?’ asked Katy.

  ‘I couldn’t have had. They let me out,’ Nellie said.

  Katy said only, ‘You wanna be careful. Send Tom up to me any time you like, Nell.’ She left and Nellie held Tommy close to her and kissed him.

  ‘You’ve got that lad soft, kissing and cuddling him,’ Janey sneered but Nellie ignored her. Sam had gone into the yard and Janey went on, ‘Took the starch outa him, didn’t it? Might learn him to watch his bloody temper.’

  Nellie looked at her unsmilingly. ‘It was an accident, Janey,’ she said. ‘You know as well as I do Sam wouldn’t hurt me deliberately.’ She felt the child relax against her arm and she said to him quietly, ‘Your poor dad got a shock and so did you, son, but I’m all right now.’

  Tommy smiled at her and hugged her.

  Nellie dozed all morning but later she insisted on getting up and cooking the meal. Janey had been whining again about missing her day with her fish but Sam gave her money and she went out.

  Nellie was still determined to have it out with Sam about his jealousy before her courage failed and her opportunity came when Tommy was in bed and Janey had shot home the bolts inside her parlour door. Sam was sitting opposite to Nellie beside the fire watching her turn the heel of a sock.

  ‘Aren’t you going out, Sam?’ she asked and he shook his head.

  ‘No. I’ll give the Volley a miss tonight. Catch up on me sleep,’ he said yawning widely.

  It’s now or never, Nellie thought. She laid her knitting down on her knee and leaned forward. ‘Sam, I’ve got to talk to you. These rows – they’re upsetting Tommy. We’ve got to stop, Sam.’

  ‘I said I’m sorry,’ Sam muttered. ‘Didn’t mean to belt you last night.’

  Nellie was trembling but determined. ‘I know but why, Sam? Why don’t you trust me? Why do you listen to them fellers?’ Sam shuffled his feet and made to stand up but Nellie put her hand on his knee. ‘Sam, we’ve got to sort it out, lad. We can’t go on – a row every time you come home. I wouldn’t do nothing behind your back, lad. I don’t want no one but you.’

  Her face was white and her huge eyes were fixed pleadingly on Sam. He twisted about in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. ‘You’ve gorrit wrong, girl,’ he said gruffly. ‘It’s just me bloody temper, like.’

  Nellie could see beads of sweat on his forehead but she persisted.

  ‘Tell me, Sam. Why?’ She gripped her knitting until her knuckles were white and her other hand tightened on Sam’s knee. She took a deep breath. ‘Is it because Janey fixed up our wedding?’

  Sam squirmed uneasily and looked away from her. ‘Forget it, girl. I won’t start no more rows,’ he said but Nellie was implacable.

  ‘I want to have this out once and for all, Sam,’ she said. ‘Is it because we got married in a hurry, like? Is that what them fellers go on about?’

  ‘I suppose so,’ he mumbled.

  ‘She done it for her own ends, Sam,’ Nellie said. ‘But we shouldn’t have let her. It was just I was sick and you were fuddled with the drink, like, weren’t you? What did she say to you, Sam?’

  ‘I don’t remember,’ he mumbled. ‘Something about you being sick and your da’s money stopped. And she said I’d have a home to come back to.’

  ‘Well, that was true,’ Nellie said, apparently unheard by Sam.

  He sat looking down at the floor, his hands clasped loosely between his knees. ‘I can’t remember no more,’ he said. ‘I was just that addled with the ale and it was a shock like when she waylaid me.’

  Nellie began to cry. Evidently she had been wrong to think that Sam felt everything had turned out well. Evidently he still felt he had been tricked and regretted his marriage. All the other things she had meant to discuss, the night of Tommy’s birth, Charlie West, Sam’s jealousy, fled from her mind.

  She said wildly, ‘I’m sorry you was tricked but I was tricked too. You don’t have to keep to it. You can be like you was single again. I don’t want nothing from you. I can work to keep me and Tommy and we won’t bother you no more.’ She wept bitterly and Sam jumped to his feet open-mouthed with shock.

  ‘Ellie, Ellie, what’s the matter, girl? Have you gone barmy or sump’n’?’

  He crouched down and attempted to put his arms round her but she shouted, ‘Get off, you don’t want me,’ and gave him a vigorous push which sent him sprawling on the floor on his back.

  The sight of him lying there, his mouth open and his eyes wide with amazement, was too much for Nellie and she began to laugh hysterically.

  Sam scrambled to his feet but he was afraid to touch her and instead banged on the back of the firegrate. Maggie hurried in in alarm and Sam told her he thought Nellie had gone off her head. ‘Must be the cut or the bang she got on the dresser,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what’s best to do, like.’

  Nellie was still laughing, although more quietly, and Maggie put her arms round her. ‘You’re all right, girl,’ she soothed her.

  Nellie wiped her eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘It was just seeing him laying there on his back.’

  She began to laugh again but Maggie looked alarmed when Sam said, ‘She pushed me over.’

  Seeing Maggie’s face, Sam explained. ‘I was just croodling down like and she pushed me. Caught me off balance. I’m worried about her head.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with me head,’ Nellie said loudly. ‘I was trying to talk to him and I got ratty then he fell over and I laughed. That’s all. I’ve got a splitting headache now. I’m going to bed.’

  ‘That’s a good idea,’ Sam said, relieved, and Maggie agreed.

  ‘I’ll come up with you, Nell,’ she said. ‘See you in to bed but you could do with a cup of tea first.’

  Nellie allowed herself to be given tea and aspirins and tucked into bed but later when her headache had gone she lay thinking how her plans had gone awry. In the imaginary conversation with Sam when she was planning the confrontation Sam had made all the replies she wanted but when it came to the real thing he had not played the part she had planned for him.

  I didn’t sort out any of the things I wanted to and all I found out was what I didn’t want to know, she thought ruefully – that Sam was addled with drink when he agre
ed to marry me. It’s no use. I’ll just have to hope Sam stops the rows for Tommy’s sake or I really will break up with him. Tommy must come first. But she wept at the thought.

  Sam had been thinking things over too, although he was unaware of all that Nellie meant to discuss. Nellie’s words about taking Tommy away had struck him like a bolt from the blue. In spite of the occasional rows, he had always considered that they were a happy family and had boasted to his shipmates about his wife and son.

  Yet Nellie seemed to think he wanted to be single again. Or was it that she wanted to be rid of him? Charlie West had hinted as much in the Volley. Not that he believed that little runt, he told himself, but why had Nellie come out with that? Maybe it had been in her mind and the knock on the head had made her talk more freely. Yet she had started off by saying she never wanted no one but him.

  Sam felt bewildered. I feel as though I’ve had a knock on me own bloody head, he thought. And Nellie seemed to be making out she’d been tricked into getting married by Janey too. God, what a mess, he thought. But no one wasn’t never going to separate him and Tommy, by God they weren’t.

  The calm way she came out with it about splitting up. Fellers never split with their wives except like Dusty Miller because his wife was on the game. Parading round Lime Street as large as life when Dusty got home unexpected. I’d better talk to Ellie, knock this idea on the head right away, Sam thought.

  Sam and Buck and George Adams had all signed on the Mauretania, due to sail two days later, and the night before he left Sam said as he slipped into bed, ‘Tomorrow night I’ll be on the Maury. I’m worried about leaving you, girl, after the knock on the head.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with me head, Sam, only the cut,’ Nellie said. ‘And that’s healing up.’

  ‘But all that wild talk, like, the other night,’ Sam said. ‘You never meant that, surely, about keeping Tommy to yourself – splitting up, like.’

  ‘I just don’t want him upset no more with the rows,’ Nellie said. ‘I don’t know why I said that about splitting up because it’d break his heart. He’s that fond of both of us.’

  ‘It was the knock on the head,’ Sam said. ‘And all that talk about when we was married.’

  Nellie waited for him to say that he was glad he married but he said no more and she thought angrily, if he’s sorry he got tricked into it well so did I and maybe I’m sorry too.

  She knew in her heart that it was not true but hurt pride made her say, ‘Janey tricked both of us but Tommy shouldn’t suffer because we was daft. What’s done is done but none of it’s his fault.’

  Sam’s pride was hurt too at Nellie’s apparent assumption that they both regretted their marriage and he turned over, only saying, ‘Yes, and don’t forget you’re a married woman when I’ve gone, neither.’

  They both lay awake and Sam could hear Nellie crying into the pillow but he kept his back firmly turned against her.

  Finally he could stand it no more and he turned to her. ‘God, girl, stop it. What are you crying for, Ellie?’ He put his arms round her and she sobbed into his shoulder.

  ‘I wanted to sort things out, to stop the rows and I’ve only made things worse. Now I know as you’re sorry you got married.’

  ‘I never said that,’ Sam protested.

  ‘As good as,’ Nellie said. ‘When you said you was addled with drink.’

  ‘Ay, when the old one tackled me,’ Sam said. ‘But not when we got married. You seemed more drunk than me that day.’

  ‘I think she was giving me drugs to make me better,’ Nellie said.

  ‘And you was the one that come right out and said you was sorry – that we was daft,’ Sam said.

  ‘Only because I thought you were sorry,’ Nellie said and Sam rolled up his eyes.

  ‘Women!’ he said. ‘No wonder they say you can never fathom them. I tell you what, Ellie, Janey’s the real mystery. Why did she want us married?’

  ‘Maggie told me,’ Nellie said. ‘Me da’s money had stopped and she wanted regular pay coming into the house. It suited her to stay in the parlour.’

  ‘Well, by God!’ Sam exclaimed. ‘Now I’ve heard everything. Anyway, girl, we’re wasting time. I’m off tomorrow.’

  He tightened his arms round her and Nellie raised her lips for his kiss.

  ‘Oh Sam, if only you didn’t have to go,’ she whispered, then the tide of passion overwhelmed them.

  ‘Are you still sorry we got married?’ Sam teased as they lay, spent, in each other’s arms.

  Nellie clung to him and kissed him passionately. ‘There’s your answer, lad,’ she whispered.

  ‘And there’s yours,’ Sam said, kissing her eyes and her lips and her breast. ‘Oh Ellie girl, I wish I wasn’t going tomorrow.’

  The next day Buck Madden called for him and waited while Sam said goodbye to his wife and son.

  ‘Go to the hospital and get them stitches out soon,’ Sam said gruffly and Nellie looked alarmed.

  ‘I don’t want to go back there, Sam,’ she said. ‘I’ll go to the chemist.’

  But Sam said masterfully, ‘You go to the hospital and get it done proper, d’you hear?’

  Tommy put his arm round his mother’s waist and looked defiantly at Sam but Nellie only said meekly, ‘Yes, Sam.’

  Sam picked up his bag. ‘Right then, ta-ra, girl.’

  He rubbed his hand over Tommy’s head but the boy burrowed his head into his mother and only muttered, ‘Ta-ra,’ when Sam said, ‘Ta-ra then, son.’

  Nellie found it very hard to part with Sam and was annoyed that Buck had not left them alone to say goodbye and Tommy was upset when his father had gone.

  ‘I’ll be a big school lad when me dad comes home,’ he said

  ‘Yes and big school lads don’t cry,’ Nellie said. ‘I’ll write and tell him you didn’t cry when he went.’

  Tommy said thoughtfully, ‘He might have wanted me to cry,’ and Nellie was amazed by the child’s perception.

  She found that her neighbours knew all about Sam’s fight with Bert Hagan.

  ‘My feller said he’d never seen a fight like that for a long while,’ Jessie said. ‘Then he come home and battered you.’

  ‘He never done nothing to me,’ Nellie snapped. ‘Only fell against me and I cut me head on the dresser.’

  Jessie tossed her head. ‘His bloody bad temper must be catching,’ she said, flouncing off.

  Later when Nellie wrote a carefully edited version of the conversation to Sam, she found herself smiling and included Jessie’s remark about her catching Sam’s ill temper, thinking that it would give Sam a laugh.

  On Monday morning Nellie left Tommy playing in the street with Katy’s children and as she walked to the shop fell in with Bella who was on her way to the pawnshop. She was hung about with numerous bags and bundles and Nellie offered to carry some for her.

  ‘Thanks girl. I must be getting past it. I’m blowing for tugs, my feller says,’ panted Bella.

  She seemed to breathe more easily when Nellie had taken some of the bundles and they walked along slowly.

  ‘I see Sam’s gone on the Maury,’ Bella said. ‘Anyway he’s with good mates now, girl. Not like them lot he was with just after you was married. My feller said they was saying all sorts to Sam in the Volley, trying to start a fight.’

  ‘They did too,’ Nellie said. ‘Sam battered some fellow called Hagan.’

  ‘Him, was it?’ Bella said. ‘There’s been bad blood there since they was in the same fo’c’sle, that time I was talking about. Before your lad was born. Trouble on shipboard and then when they was ashore in Valparaiso. Sam knocked two of them out.’

  ‘I think Charlie West was there as well,’ Nellie said.

  ‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ Bella said, ‘nasty bit of work that feller, girl. Always stirring up trouble but he’d run a mile if anyone went to belt him.’

  They paused on the corner while Bella eased her back and redistributed her bundles and Nellie said quietly, ‘Sam was
staggering when he come in that night and he caught me off balance. I cut me head on the dresser but it was an accident. I got told Janey was saying different but she’s a liar.’

  ‘Aye, and another troublemaker,’ Bella said comfortably. ‘But I suppose you can’t get rid of her. Does she see to you when you get caught, like?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Nellie asked.

  She so obviously had not understood that Bella said immediately, ‘I must’ve got it wrong, girl. With you only having the one, like, I thought the old one must be dosing you.’

  Nellie blushed furiously. ‘I wouldn’t take it,’ she exclaimed. ‘I’d love another baby, Bella. A little girl or another lad for company for Tommy. It just hasn’t happened.’

  ‘Fancy that,’ Bella said. ‘My fella only had to hang his kecks on the bedrail and I was off again.’

  ‘Maggie said it might be because I had a bad time with Tommy,’ Nellie said.

  ‘Could be, girl, but it done you a good turn. You don’t want to get dragged down be strings of kids, specially with your feller away at sea all the time,’ said Bella. ‘There’s plenty round here wish they only had the one, believe me.’ They started off again and when they reached the pawnshop Bella took the bundles from Nellie.

  ‘You’re a good girl,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll put the word round about your head and about the old girl an’ all.’ She leaned closer to Nellie. ‘Try to get shut of her though, girl or get away yourself. There’s trouble brewing in that quarter.’

  Leaving Bella in the shop, Nellie walked along deep in thought. She felt that she had learned a lot from Bella and she was pleased that she had been able to tell Bella the true facts. She had no doubt that everyone in the neighbourhood would soon be informed and although she disliked the idea of everyone knowing her business at least it would be the truth.

  She thought of Bella’s words about Janey dosing her to get rid of babies. Fancy people thinking that. You could have knocked me down with a feather, she thought, and the way I’ve been hoping for another baby.