She pulled a face. “I don’t know but it did. Here, I was judged for what happened. You know with my mother and everything. I’m pretty sure Jeff wasn’t the only person that thought I’d trashed your house that night. The running away thing. In LA, nobody knew me. Rake didn’t let the media get wind of me or Noah. He was very careful to keep his professional and personal life totally separate.” She smiled somewhat sadly. “It was our deal when we found ourselves together. He’d look after me and I’d give him the normality he wanted. He had huge plans even back then.”
“And you just fell in with it, no questions asked?” He tried to keep his voice casual so she wouldn’t think he was judging her.
“Yes, I did. I trusted him. It wasn’t hard for me after all I’d been through. I wanted to be loved and cherished. I wanted a home where I didn’t have to watch everything I did or said in case it was taken away from me. I’d had enough of that with my mother and then your father continued her type of behavior. I couldn’t settle when I was younger but he made that possible for me.”
“I tried to be there for you. So did Mom.”
“I know you did, and you have no idea how much that meant to me.” She reached for his hand. “But in the end, they won and I had to go. But back to Rake and me and what we had. A normal life was what we both needed. That included him being able to come home to a house with a wife and child, leaving the cameras and hype of being a famous sports person behind.”
“I didn’t know that. I guess that’s why I never knew you two were still together until he died. I felt sure you would’ve parted ways once you found somewhere to go.” It’d made sense but he’d never thought his brother was the type that would steal his girl.
“I never went to his fights so it made it easier to stay in the background. He went to great pains to keep us a secret for a few reasons. Our security was the most important thing to him. And our privacy.”
“But when he bought this hotel, surely people would have gotten wind of it? Put two and two together.”
“Everything’s in a company name. Even Tommy Clements didn’t know I was the new owner.”
“So that means you’re no longer scraping for money.” He brushed away the thought creeping into his mind. It wasn’t charitable or kind.
“If you’re asking if I’m a rich widow, I’m not telling you. My finances are my business and nobody else’s.”
“That wasn’t what I meant. It may have come out that way and I’m sorry. It’s just that I know, heck, everyone knows if they read the sports papers, how much Rake made from those pro fights. It’s splashed all over the media.” He squeezed her hand as she tried to pull away from him. “I worried when we had to redo the cost for the ceiling. I even discussed it with Mom and we wanted to offer you help if you needed it. That’s the only reason I brought it up.”
*
He was so sweet. “Oh, Ethan. I’m sorry.” She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that I’m very suspicious of people when they start talking money. I know you’re not like that but the automatic reply kicked in.”
“Hey, I get it and I didn’t mean to trample on your toes. Last thing I want to do is overstep the friends boundary.”
She lifted her head, looked into his troubled eyes. “It’s okay. I’m comfortable, not rich. Rake’s illness cost a lot to keep on top of. Our secretive lifestyle did too but it was important to both of us so we never complained.”
“I know I’ve asked for answers but are you sure you’re ready to tell me now?”
“I don’t mind. You’d find out sooner or later, I guess. Now he’s gone and I’m back home, it doesn’t seem quite so important keeping the secret.”
“You’re not worried about media attention now?”
She shook her head. “No. It all faded away when he stopped fighting and only reignited when he died. After his death it was like a cloud lifted. Nobody cares who I am. I’m just a wedding planner from LA who sold her business to move to Cherry Lake. There’s really nothing to connect us.”
“You’re not ‘just’ anything. You’re an amazing person who has come back into my life. I’m very grateful. Coping with everything like you have and moving on without him takes a lot of guts. Especially considering the circumstances.”
A tingle went all the way down to her toes. “Even if I can’t tell you everything you want to know yet?”
How am I going to keep this up? Secrets ruined my life, made me run, made my life as stressful as it had been in Rake’s final year. What if keeping the information from Ethan started the whole ball rolling again? He might say he doesn’t mind right now but eventually it could ruin everything.
But she’d promised Rake she’d deal with his father first, then give his message to Ethan. She couldn’t go back on a deathbed promise even if it made her feel less guilty than she did now. Mari had committed to seeing this through to the end and she’d do it no matter what it cost her personally. What a mixed up situation!
He tensed and a feeling of doom kicked in. “Yeah. I’m hoping that one day soon you’ll feel comfortable telling me what’s going on because I’ll admit it’s eating at me. I want everything out in the open.”
Mari relaxed and let herself lean against him, the tension easing. The feeling of strong arms around her again gave her something to think about. Eventually, she had to let go of the past and concentrate on her future. She could only hold a grudge for so long before it ate her up. People changed and so did circumstances.
“Mom, Mom.” Footsteps pounded down the stairs and Noah came hurtling into the room. He pulled up short when he saw her wrapped in Ethan’s arms.
“Ethan. Are you staying for dinner?”
“We haven’t discussed it, buddy. I was showing your mom the finished job. What do you think?”
Ethan rested his chin on her head as Noah looked around the ballroom. Ethan used to do that when they were younger and it gave her a sense of ease as she remembered. Not everything had changed. Certainly not her feelings for Ethan.
“I guess it looks good.” He screwed up his mouth and stared at them. “So, are you staying for dinner?”
Mari opened her mouth to say something but Ethan beat her to it.
“How about you two come to my place for a change? I’ve shared enough meals from you and your mom these last couple of weeks. About time I showed off my cooking skills. What do you think?”
They looked at her expectantly. She hated playing the bad guy. “It’s a school night.”
“Mom!” Her son shared a disbelieving glance with Ethan. “Not fair. I’ll be good, promise. I’ll even get up early in the morning if you let us go.”
“Or,” Ethan butted in, “I can go ahead and start dinner while you do your jobs or homework, whatever it is you need to deal with and then you can come out to the orchard. Dinner will be ready and you can leave as soon as you’re done.”
Noah glanced at her, begging for an answer.
“It hardly seems fair to you, Ethan. Eating and running is rude.”
“Not in these circumstances, no it isn’t. Noah gets to have dinner out and you have time to make him do his homework and I get to spend some time with the two of you. I’m happy with that.”
She pondered for a few seconds, trying to do the right thing for everyone while not looking like she was desperate to spend time with him. “Only if you’re sure it’s okay?”
“I said it was. Now you guys do what you need to do and I’ll see you at my place soon.”
“Do you live with Grandma Pearl?”
“No, Noah. I live down past the main house at the little worker’s cottage.” He glanced at her when he said it, reminding her of the nights they snuck into the empty building and made out. “I renovated it and moved in there a couple of years ago. Your mom knows where it is.”
“Okay. I’m gonna go do my homework fast. Mom you need to hurry up and get ready.”
Noah ran out
and raced up the stairs to their apartment. “I haven’t seen him move so fast since you took him to soccer training with Cory.”
“Looks like I’ve won at least one of you over then.”
Mari stared into eyes so like her husband’s and the stirring of loneliness shifted another notch. “Yeah, looks like it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ethan kicked his feet out in front of him on the porch and relaxed back in the chair watching Noah climbing the cherry tree after dinner. “Remember when we used to sit up in the branches eating until we made ourselves sick?”
A soft giggle came from beside him. “Oh, yeah. And your mom would scold us but we didn’t care. We’d go and do it all again the next day. Cherry season used to be my favorite time of the year.”
“I can still feel the bark against my legs and the flies buzzing around my face as we sat perched in the trees. The warmth of the sun and the cherry juice dribbling down my chin. Those were the days.”
“How come you stayed, Ethan? I thought you would’ve hightailed it out of here when you were old enough too. Rake and I talked about that quite a bit.”
“I wish I’d known. I wanted to go, believe me, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave Mom behind. She was broken when you left.” He peered at her face, taking in every curve, every inch of skin. “She loves him despite his stubbornness. I get that but at the time I thought he was the meanest father around and I didn’t blame Rake for sticking up for what he wanted. Just because Dad never had the balls to go and chase his dream, didn’t mean he had to try and hold Rake back.”
Mari nodded. “Fair enough. And now?”
“They’re good again. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Dad has his moments and he’s moody when he feels like it but I see no reason to go anywhere. I have my business with Christian. We’re doing well and I have my own place so that gives me the space to get out of his way and still be close enough to Mom if she needs me.” He gazed up toward the big house, its lights twinkling in the waning evening light.
“You’re a good man, Ethan.”
“I do my best. But enough about that. What’s done is done and I’d rather concentrate on the future. Tell me what the plans are for the hotel now that we’ve finished our part of the process.” He reached out and took her hand, resting it between them on the wooden seat.
“Well, April is helping me get the rooms ready. I have a couple that I’ve put on the website ready for occupation now. The restaurant is chugging along smoothly but I want a breakfast chef so I can offer more for people that stay. Once I arrange that, I’ll start advertising more, pushing for bookings. I need to decorate the ballroom and take lots of photos. Once again, April will help me because she’s so good at that side of things. Then I can link the websites together and really push the wedding business as well as the hotel as a destination people want to get married at.”
“Sounds like you have your hands full.”
“I do but it’s how I like it. I’ve never been one to sit back and twiddle my thumbs.” She gave a sigh of pleasure. “This is so peaceful. I’d forgotten how nice it was out here.”
“It can be nice but living in town isn’t that much of a hardship. Especially with Flathead Lake over the road. Imagine the photo opportunities the brides will have with that beautiful view.”
“I know. When Rake found the property online it was almost as if it was meant to be. At least that’s what he thought.”
“Why? Not sure I follow his reasoning. He was so keen to get out of the place.”
“Because he wanted me to bring Noah back here and finish off a couple of things for him.” She sat up and leaned her elbows on her knees. “Your father for one.”
“What about him?”
“I shouldn’t say, Ethan. I’ve already told you that. You’re going to have to trust me on this one.” She brushed at a moth that flickered near her face in the evening light. “I’ve called him and left a message. Told him I need to talk to him about Rake since he took me by surprise last time. Things I never got to say when he came over. It’s up to him now.”
“Okay.” She held her breath as he dragged out the word. “Is there anything else you can tell me then?”
“Yes. Rake wanted me to make up between the two of you on his behalf. Now we’re settled back here, I figure it’s time to tell you what he said even though I said I needed to tell Jeff first.”
*
She winced at the look on his face. Perhaps she should have waited until they were on their own before she blurted it out. Noah didn’t need to hear what she had to say.
“I don’t understand.” He sat forward and grabbed her arm. “What are you talking about?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything, not yet anyway, but I’m honestly finding it hard to keep that part a secret from you.” She glanced over at Noah sitting in the branches with a handful of cherries in his hand.
“He’s busy and can’t hear us anyway. Tell me what you’re talking about, please.”
“Rake always resented you for the bond you had with your father. He wasn’t your father’s child and that always grated on him. That’s the reason he didn’t tell you he was going. He didn’t want to hurt you. Make you feel like you had to choose sides.”
Ethan jumped up, turned in a circle as he tried to find the words. “Not my father’s son? But—”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know either until recently. He overheard your folks talking years ago and figured out why Jeff was so hard on him. It all made sense.”
“No, that can’t be right. Dad was hard on both of us.” He stared at her helplessly.
“But he was always harder on Rake. We both know that.” She stood up and reached for him.
“That was because he wanted Rake to succeed. Rake was the one with the drive. I only played sports to keep fit and out of the house.”
Mari bit her lip, worrying the skin between her teeth. “Maybe, but it didn’t change the fact that Rake didn’t think he was Jeff’s child and he was too upset to talk to your parents about it. He thought either one of them would deny it anyway. That’s the reason he didn’t tell you he was going. He didn’t want you to feel guilty because you knew who your father was. He felt like an interloper, like he didn’t belong.”
“I don’t believe it.” He tugged his hand through his hair before he looked at her again. “So you’re you telling me that my mother had an affair after she and Dad were married?”
“I don’t know when. That’s something you’re going to have to ask her. I have no idea what happened between them. I’m only passing on the message as I promised. I’m sorry Ethan.” She ran her hand up and down his arm. “I think it’s best if we left now. You have lots to process and I want to get Noah to bed.”
“No.” He reached out a hand to her. “You can’t tell me something like that and then leave. Christ, that’s just…unbelievable.”
“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have even told you that much. Not yet, anyway. I should’ve spoken to your father first but I know this was coming between us.”
“He knows Rake wasn’t his?”
“Apparently. But you need to talk to your father about it. I only know what Rake told me, not the whole story.” Mari walked down the steps over to the row of cherry trees. “Noah, let’s go. School tomorrow.”
She gathered their son and took him to the car. Before she put on her seat belt, Mari glanced at him. Ethan hadn’t moved. Obviously this wasn’t what he was expecting at all.
Chapter Seventeen
“Mom, why didn’t you tell me?” He’d tossed all night over approaching her and finally, at the crack of dawn, Ethan had decided he had to ask her.
She placed another box on the scales and added a handful of cherries before folding over the plastic liner and putting on the lid. Her cheeks were pink with embarrassment. “It wasn’t as simple as it sounds.” She let him take the box and put it on the pallet with the others ready for the cool room. “Can you imagine me coming to you as a young man,
telling you about my sex life? No matter which way I looked at it, I sounded like a loose woman and I was more than a little embarrassed that I was so stupid to have been nothing more than a notch on some guy’s belt.”
“Were you?” It hurt to ask but he was desperate to clear the air and understand what Mari had told him.
“Maybe. I’m not proud of it but I won’t make excuses either.” She held her head up but the shame showed in her eyes. “I didn’t think Rake would have found out. We didn’t talk about it.”
“Well, it’s obvious he overheard you. Do you think Dad would’ve told him on purpose?”
She picked up a marker pen and tapped it on her order book, staring off into the orchard. “No. Jeff could be many things but I don’t see him mentioning it. We’d come to an understanding about what happened and it wasn’t anyone else’s business.”
“I hate that Rake thought he wasn’t part of this family because of that. He was my brother.”
“Yes, he was. Nothing can change that.”
“But it sounds like Dad did.” He wanted to get to the bottom of this if only to satisfy himself. It was too late for Rake but it could impact on Noah.
“Perhaps you should talk to him then. I put it out of my mind ages ago. It didn’t seem that important anymore. At least to your father and me it wasn’t.”
Ethan went in search of his father and found him greasing the hydraulic arms on the tractor. “Dad, got a minute?”
Jeff wiped his hands on a rag. “What’s up?”
“I was talking to Mari last night.” He ignored the sneer on his father’s face. “She told me one of the reasons Rake didn’t tell me he was leaving.”
“And what was that?” He turned away, fiddled with the grease gun.
“Rake had a message for me and she was the delivery person. Rake didn’t tell me he was leaving because he heard you talking about not being his father. Is that true?”
Jeff tensed, froze for a moment and then his shoulders slumped. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
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