The Moore Sisters of Montana: The Complete Series Box Set: Books 1-4

by Ann B. Harrison

  “How could you believe I’d steal from you after everything you did for me?”

  He looked down at his hands, his shoulders hunched in defeat. “I don’t know. I have no excuse. It was a bad night for me. Fighting with Rake put me on edge I guess and you copped the backlash when you shouldn’t have. Not that it’s a good excuse, just the way it happened.”

  He glanced at her, hope in his eyes. “I regret that night like you wouldn’t believe. Having you both leave near killed us. No word of where or why. Pearl and I were gutted when first you disappeared and then Rake. We had to wonder where we’d gone wrong.”

  “You never did anything wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I’m not like my mother. I hated her for what she did to me and my father. You and Pearl treated me better than she ever did. Even the days when you gave me a hard time, showed me some tough loving when I needed it, you showed me more respect than she ever had.”

  Quick tears sprang in his eyes and he dashed them away. She might as well tell him now since he was putting his heart on the table. One issue dealt with, now for the next one. The main secret she’d been holding in ever since she’d moved back home and the one likely to cause the most pain. “I heard you and Rake fighting that last night.”

  “What, at his last fight after he’d been knocked down?” A frown creased his forehead. “That was you in the corridor?”

  “Yes. When you were telling him to go on and fight.” The vision popped into her mind, the disbelief as strong as it was on the night she witnessed it. “‘Just one more fight,’ you said.” Mari shook her head. “Do you have any idea what that knock caused? The damage that fight did to him? How the doctors think it may have started his brain trauma?”

  He shook his head.

  “The medical profession talks now about head injuries like concussion being the beginning of tumors or brain damage. The more knocks you take, the more chance you have of getting something. That’s what killed my husband. The constant hits to the head.”

  “No. No, you have it wrong.” He moved forward and reached for her, horror etched into the lines on his face. “I was trying to stop him going back in the ring. I was asking him to sit out one more fight. Just one more fight before he got back in again. He wouldn’t listen.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It was the one fight he really wanted to win. Scouts were there looking for talent. Rake had it by the bucketful. Anyone could see that. But, like any sport, you have to strike while the iron is hot and that night he figured it was his chance to get an offer for a place in the gym he wanted to sign with.”

  “So he ignored you and fought anyway.”

  Jeff chewed on his lip and nodded his head. “Yeah. That’s about it.” He dropped his head. “Guess he signed his own death warrant without knowing it.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Is Ethan going to be there?” Noah smoothed his hand over the gel he’d massaged into his hair and ducked away from Mari as she tried to straighten his shirt collar for the fifth time.

  “I don’t know, maybe. But it’s not Ethan we’re going to see. I’m taking you to meet your granddad. Grandma Pearl will be there though.” She picked up her car keys and looked around the apartment, saw the cake tin, and grabbed it. Bella would kill her if she forgot it after begging for the last-minute offering to break the ice. It wasn’t every day that Jeff apologized and now it was up to her to help fill the gap between them.

  “Cool. How come we haven’t seen him before then?” He opened the door and scurried down the stairs, Mari close on his heels.

  “Oh, you know how it is. Adults have to play at adulating. Jeff’s been very busy with cherry harvest just like I already told you. Ethan said he works nearly every day during the picking season.” After a sleepless night of chiding herself, it was the only sensible answer she could come up with. No more lies in this family and even though this was stretching the truth – it would have to do for now.

  He paused at the back door and waited for her to catch up. “Can I go and see Ethan if he’s not at Grandma’s place?”

  “Maybe.” She locked the door behind her and walked over to the car.

  On the way to the farm she tried not to get overanxious about Noah meeting his grandfather for the first time. It’d taken another visit from Jeff for her to get the answers to all her questions before she understood everything. The complicated family dynamics and the impact on the family including on her childhood. The real relationship he had with Pearl that wasn’t anything like what she would have imagined.

  She’d started to see Jeff in a different light and only now, the decision to come back to Cherry Lake felt like the right one. But there was still one more hurdle to climb. Was she up to it or would she fail at the first step? Time to find out.

  When they drove into the orchard and pulled up at the house, her nerves were more than a little bit frayed. Her gaze went down the laneway to Ethan’s cottage where the peak of the roof was visible among the trees but she couldn’t see his truck. Maybe he was at work and she wouldn’t see him at all. Perhaps Pearl had told him she was coming and he was avoiding her. She could hardly blame him after what she’d done to him.

  Their last meeting wasn’t something she was proud of. After being judged by his father and the town as a teenager, the last thing she wanted was to be judged by the one person she thought had her back. It didn’t help any that she now understood how his life had been since she’d been gone. Mari owed Ethan an apology. She wasn’t the only one that’d suffered.

  “Noah. You’re here.” Pearl hurried down the path to wrap her grandson in her arms. “Come in, come in.”

  “Mom’s got cake.” His voice became smothered as he was pulled against Pearl’s breast.

  “Mari, you shouldn’t have.” The smile in Pearl’s voice was enough to tell Mari she should have.

  “Bella was more than happy to pass it off to me. Jake’s struggling to say no to her sweets as it is and she has to test out recipes on someone. May as well be you guys.”

  Footsteps sounded behind her and she looked up. “So, this is my grandson.” Jeff stood beside Mari, wonder in his eyes and, for the first time in her life, she thought she saw the real Jeff Benson. “My goodness. You look just like your dad at that age.”

  Pearl wrapped her arm around Noah’s shoulders. “Noah, say hello to your grandpa, Jeff.”

  Noah glanced at Mari but he didn’t need encouraging. He came forward and held out his hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

  Jeff laughed and took the proffered hand. “Ethan said you were a well-mannered boy. I’d expect nothing less than that with your mom.” He leaned down, ruffled the boy’s hair. “Noah, it’s my pleasure to meet you at last.” As he cleared his throat he glanced at the cake tin in Mari’s hands. “Just in time for coffee, I see.”

  Noah grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the path. “My aunt Bella makes the best cakes. If you’re good, Mom might let you have an extra slice. She gets a bit tough like that in case you spoil your dinner.”

  As they disappeared into the house, Pearl moved closer. “If you want to go and see Ethan, we’ll take care of Noah for you.”

  “I don’t know, Pearl. I wonder if our time has gone. Maybe we weren’t meant to be together.”

  “That’s rubbish and you know it. I can tell by the shadows under your eyes you don’t believe a word you’re saying.” She rubbed her hand up Mari’s arm. “I know you, child. Always looking out for other people before yourself. You were always the sensitive one, caring for everybody else.”

  “There’s always one child in the family that does it. Rake taught me that even though he was wrong about what he knew. I wish he’d known the truth, Pearl.”

  “So do I, honey. So do I. And he was right too. But the time has come for you to think about what you want out of life.”

  Despair weighed heavy on her chest. “I think I’ve ruined things. Only thought about myself. Ethan may never forgive me and I
don’t blame him one bit.”

  Pearl patted her hand. “If I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that everything can be fixed. Some things are harder than others, but that doesn’t mean you should give up. Life wasn’t meant to be easy.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Laughter came from the open kitchen door and she smiled, listening to her son. “At least I’ve managed to make someone happy. Guess that’s a plus.”

  “Ethan’s down at the packing shed. He’s doing repairs on the office for me.” A hopeful gleam twinkled in her eyes.

  “I don’t know, Pearl.” She didn’t know if she had the right words to make everything better.

  “What’s holding you back, honey?”

  “Regret. The thought of impending doom. Rejection, take your pick.” She wasn’t being very positive.

  It was crazy considering she’d had years to get her emotions in check. Ever since Rake had extracted the promise to return from her, she’d talked herself up, convinced herself this was what she wanted. Now that hard words were being spoken, she had cold feet.

  “I don’t know if Rake did the right thing making you come back here. We can talk about that at another stage but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.” She reached down and snapped a daisy off, holding the flower in her palm, contemplating it. “But I do think it was his way of saying sorry too.”

  “What do you mean?” This wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

  “Rake might’ve been a hothead and all but deep down that boy knew right from wrong. He’d have known how much Ethan loved you. Initially it might’ve seemed like he was thumbing his nose at us but he wouldn’t do that to his brother, not intentionally. I think he sent you back here to make amends. To give you another chance at happiness.”

  *

  Her shadow filled the door, startling him as he brought the hammer down. Pain shot through his hand as the cold steel smashed against his thumb. Ethan cursed, dropped his hammer.

  Mari ran toward him, reaching out to help him. “Let me see that.”

  “No, it’s fine. Wasn’t concentrating.” He wiped the spot of blood on his jeans. “I’ve had worse.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Not your fault.” He shrugged and turned away to pick up his hammer.

  “Not that. I mean I am but that wasn’t what I was talking about. I’m sorry for leaving, for never getting in touch with you. I should’ve at least sent you a note to say I was okay instead of ignoring you. That was mean after all we meant to each other.”

  He closed his eyes as the old pain surfaced. She had no idea how much that’d hurt him. His heart felt like it’d been ripped from his chest. The only one who’d understood had been Christian.

  “It was. But I’m glad you were okay.”

  “You really don’t understand why I stayed with your brother, do you?”

  She’d hit it right on the head. As much as he’d loved his big brother, the betrayal had hit hard. “No, I don’t.”

  Mari clasped her hands in front of her. “We were both lost in our own way.” She smiled at him, the sadness clouding her eyes. “Oh, I know I had a fairly good life here. I had you, we both did okay really. But it wasn’t enough, not back then.”

  “I tried to protect you from everything.” Not being enough still dug at him.

  “I know you did and it’s not your fault. My mother has a lot to answer for, we know that. But the big thing was, even with you at my side I was drifting, not sure where I belonged. Rake and I, well, we were so much alike. When he heard your parents fighting, he was only fifteen. He was vulnerable, Ethan. Imagine if that’d been you. How would you have felt?”

  “He should’ve said something. Anything.” He threw his hands in the air and stepped away from her. “Instead he let it churn over in his gut, eventually turning him against us. We didn’t deserve that, Mari. None of us did.”

  “You were twelve years old then. Not much older than Noah is now. Would you put that on his shoulders?” Her voice cracked. “Would you?”

  Dull the shine in that little boy’s eyes? Not a hope in hell. “No.”

  “So, he did what he did well. He held it in and waited for the right moment.”

  “You.”

  “No. I told you before he didn’t know I was going to run. Heck, I didn’t know I was going to run until I did.” She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Don’t you think if I’d planned it, I would have let you know?”

  So he could stop her? He doubted it.

  “He waited until he had somewhere to go. That last fight, where I heard what I thought was your father begging him to fight one more time after a concussion. There was a scout there, someone who offered him a shot at the big-time.”

  “Dad begged him to fight after being knocked down?” He’d kill him.

  “I thought that was what I heard but I had it wrong. He was trying to get Rake to let him stop the fight but Rake knew the guy was watching him and brushed your father off. Said he was fine. He needed that spot at the gym so he had somewhere to go if he wanted to leave and he knew it was only a matter of time before he’d make his way out of town. If he’d pulled out, the chance would be lost and he wasn’t prepared to let that happen.”

  “Are you kidding me? He was concussed and kept fighting?”

  “Your brother was very good at covering his feelings. I guess he convinced the doctor that nothing was wrong. And you have to remember, these kinds of injuries weren’t taken that seriously back then. Not like they are now.”

  Ethan rubbed his hand over his chin, a new understanding of what happened dawning on him. “So that was one of the things that made you leave too?”

  “Yeah. It was the last straw for me. I knew your father wasn’t going to change. What with the way he treated me about the burglary and then what I thought he wanted to do with Rake. I kind of lost it that night.”

  “And I wasn’t there for either of you.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I was out with someone else getting drunk and drowning out the little voice in my head that said I’d made the biggest fuck up in my life by dumping you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  She watched the realization hit him.

  “If I’d been there, you might not’ve left.” His mouth opened and closed as he swallowed. “Shit. I could’ve stopped all this from happening if I hadn’t been so damned selfish.”

  “No. I doubt it. I couldn’t have stayed any longer. It wasn’t working how I hoped it would. If anything, you would’ve only delayed it.”

  He shook his head, stunned at what might have been. “But I would have tried. I would’ve done anything to keep you here. You have to know that.”

  Mari put her hand on his arm. “I know you would’ve, Ethan. But what’s done is done and we have to leave that behind us. No good will come of us rehashing everything.” She threaded her fingers through his and squeezed, careful not to touch the cut from earlier. “I wanted to apologize too for kicking you out the other night. I know it was an understandable question but you have to believe me when I say I was offended you’d think I’d stoop so low after making sure the two of you got to know each other. I get where that was coming from but it hurt nonetheless.”

  “Yeah. I didn’t mean to but I had to say it out loud.” He glanced at their joined hands. “As soon as I said it I regretted the words but it was hard to stop myself. I love that boy already, you know? I couldn’t bear it if you guys moved on and I lost him so soon.”

  That comment had her tearing up. “Noah thinks the world of you.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Having coffee and cake with your parents. Jeff wanted to meet him. I don’t know if he told you, but we’ve had a couple of really good discussions the last couple of days. Cleared the air between us.”

  “I’m pleased about that. I didn’t know he suffered with depression. If I’d known…”

  “Yes, I get that but your father would probably see it as a weakness if we found out. I’m surprised he finally
told us. If we’d all known lots of things our lives would have been different, but we didn’t so we have to make the best of it.”

  He pulled her over to the desk and into his arms. “Were you happy with Rake?”

  She looked at the floor. This was no time for untruths or half-truths. “Yes, I was. It wasn’t a head-over-heels kind of love but one built on mutual needs and respect. It grew over time. We were good for each other.”

  He nuzzled her neck. “I’m pleased he had you. Gutted he lost us all for a misunderstanding, but you’re right, what’s done is done. It’s time to move forward and do the best we can. Not make the same mistakes again.”

  “Well…” She smiled. “I guess we’re on the right track then. We’re talking, telling our truths even though it hurts. The thing is, can we move past it, Ethan? Is it too late for us?”

  “Can you forgive me for not being there for you?”

  His troubled eyes begged for forgiveness.

  “I’d say I already have. We were children. Now we’re different people. If we can trust each other, we can overcome anything.”

  “I can’t lose you again. The first time almost killed me. I struggled to get over you. Truth be told, I never really did. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Give me that chance, Mari.”

  She leaned into him, her lips pressed against his. This was where she belonged. In the arms of the man she left behind in an attempt to find herself. It seemed ironic she had to come back home to feel complete again. His arms went around her, holding her against his chest. She broke the kiss for a much needed breath. Her skin was flushed, her breathing irregular.

  “I don’t think I can deny you, Ethan. Even if I wanted to leave again, I couldn’t walk away from you. It’d be like ripping out my heart all over again.”