by Helene Gadot
Zak pauses mid-swing and eyes me. “Five?”
I hide my amusement. “Yes.”
Does he really think he’s fooling anybody? Particularly after last night.
“Do you three have another lover out there you haven’t mentioned?”
I can’t hold back the chuckle this tie. “No. You’re the fifth person, fool.”
The pickaxe hangs useless at his side. “What?”
His cluelessness is actually rather adorable and charming.
“You’re in love with her and she’ll never give you up. Of course you’ll be there with us.”
He sighs and goes back to swinging his tool at the walls. “She’s trying to get me to go searching for my mate when we get out of here.”
Of course she is. Her denial is even worse than his.
“Sad to say, I think the two of us are the only ones with any sense in our little group. And Tahira of course, but that goes without saying. Also, the woman’s terrifying.”
Zak laughs. “That she is.”
My amusement flees. “You two have no idea what it’s like to have real choices and freedom. So, it’s probably smart to play it safe and wait to see what’s out there before you make any real decisions. The mating bond is a strong force and not so easy to ignore.”
He sighs. “I know. Which is why I haven’t pursued anything. I can’t talk her around into giving us a chance and then I stumble across my mate and can’t stay away and break Al’s heart. I have to be sure. And she’s still grieving Rowan, so she’s not ready for anything anyway.”
“Mate or not, I have a feeling you two will figure things out. Maybe if you find yours, they can just join us.”
Zak looks at me like I’m insane. “You keep acting like you believe you’ll be able to talk Sterling and Gavyn around. And Al.”
I probably am insane.
But if I want to keep going, I need to have some hope for the future. Something light and joyous to fight for.
Starting a family with my mate, her lover, and my three favorite people?
That’s worth fighting for.
I stare at the wall of stone. “I have to believe I will. I don’t want to be forced to choose. And I’m willing to wait for now, giving everyone a chance to be ready, but I won’t wait forever.”
Zak smiles. “I look forward to the day you come knocking on our door.”
“Hopefully you’ll have done all the hard work for us in getting her to agree to a relationship.”
“Thanks a lot.” Zak snorts and shakes his head. “I know you’re trying to focus on blocking, but how is she?”
I’m grateful he’s put so much effort into keeping my mind off it with our ridiculous conversation and I don’t blame him for asking. He doesn’t have that line to her and he probably wishes he does.
Fate really fucks things up sometimes.
I pluck just slightly at the thread tying us together, hissing as her emotions hit me in the chest. “She’s still freaking out a little, but she’s balanced out for the most part. I don’t know if she had some kind of panic attack from a memory or what.”
His brow furrows. “She does get those a lot. Very rarely in public though. It’s usually when we’re alone in our cell.”
Bootsteps echo through the tunnel.
“I think we’re about to find out.”
We shut up and double check everything looks normal and busy ourselves looking like we’re working and back to unearthing the precious minerals in this mine.
Two guards round the corner and bark at us to leave our tools and hurry up.
Fine with me. The sooner we get to the refectory the sooner we find Allegra and make sure she’s okay.
Zak and I can’t really talk without being overheard as we join the line of poor souls trudging their way out of the tunnels they keep us trapped in.
I blink with a hiss as we step outside into the sunlight, the rays pulling at my energy, sapping me of strength. Zak steps closer to me, there in case I need him. Allegra really did pick a good one. I have a slight crush on him myself.
Relief flows through me once we step inside out of the direct light, but Zak stiffens at my side, sucking in a sharp breath.
“No. He can’t be back.”
I search the room for the threat. “Care to explain?”
His face pales. “We need to figure a way out of here sooner. I don’t know that she’ll survive him again.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Allegra
I WON’T SURVIVE THIS again.
I won’t survive him again.
I barely made it out alive when he was here before.
Rowan didn’t.
Every move I make as I set up the food after cleaning up the mess I made, his eyes follow me, burning into my back, the side of my face.
My nightingale flutters around inside me, trying to reassure me but battling her own terror along with mine.
He can’t survive the prison break. He has to die. For what he did to Rowan and to make sure he never comes after us again.
We’ll never be truly free with him somewhere out there.
It takes every bit of control to keep the bile trying to rise up my throat and spew from my mouth down as his scent reaches me.
He always smelled like lemons and blood. Like he tried to scrub away the violence and pain he loved to dole out, but it seeped too deep into his pours, staining his soul so the odor never fully leaves.
The concern of my mates as they join the line for food seeps into me, pushing away some of my panic, soothing me with their presence.
I try to smile at them as I spoon food onto their plates, but my lips tremble when I catch Borus’s eye over their shoulder.
This is hell.
I almost wish he’d just come over here and drag me out, doing whatever her plans instead of leaving me trapped in the suspense and fear of what’s coming.
But this was always his game. He liked to build up my anxiety until I was ready to beg for relief from the stress and dread.
It could be days before he touches me.
Maybe we’ll be out of here before then.
The slight hope is enough for me to grab with both hands and hang on tight.
There’s an end in sight for the first time. Even though I’m trying not to get my hopes up, I need something to keep me from curling up on the floor and never rising again.
I need to be stronger than this. Especially after I made such a big deal of my mates trying to protect me and treat me like I’m fragile glass the slightest tap with shatter.
Though I feel exactly like that at the moment.
Borus always does this to me.
I’m not strong enough to face him. I can’t. The things he’s done. Even my fury at the loss of Rowan doesn’t overtake my fear of this man.
If he gets even the slightest whiff I’m connected to Gavyn, Archer, and Sterling, he’ll kill them. Or make them wish for death. I’ll never forget what he made me watch as he tortured Rowan.
The doctor’s horrible, but he’s an altruistic sweetheart compared to Borus.
I have to keep the others safe from him, so he won’t use them against me. It was only Rowan keeping Zakar and Tahira from his clutches before. I have to keep his attention on me.
He has to believe I’m different since Rowan’s death. That I’ve pulled away from everyone. Maybe he’ll believe it.
When Gavyn asks yet again if I’m all right, I ignore him, angling my body away from his, praying he’ll get the picture.
Tahira is smart enough to stay away and give me space for now, but Gavyn doesn’t understand the situation. All he knows is what he’s feeling from me.
I smother my fear in protective layers of deadened emotions, numb and frozen, trying to cut them off so they are no longer privy to what’s going on inside me.
It’s a familiar sensation, this dulled way of moving through life, a fugue I went into to protect myself a long time ago and one I return to when the need arises. My mates
shattered it when they arrived and I need it back, I have to cut them off.
This will be the only thing to save me from giving up and breaking completely, what little sanity I have remaining gone.
Everything around me fades until the only thing left are my duties. I mechanically fill plates and clean messes and sit alone to fuel myself before rising to carry everything back to the kitchens.
Where he follows.
There to resume his duties guarding the kitchens.
With him in here, watching every movement I make with sharp eyes, how are we going to poison everyone?
We’re going to fail.
He’ll make sure of it.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sterling
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG with our little birdie?
I can barely feel her now that we’re all back to work other than the occasional blast of hopelessness or fear.
Her despair is still bitter on my tongue, so strong it overtakes me, immobilizing me.
Zakar told us enough over the meal to have my fists buzzing with the need to smash into bone and flesh.
The human who tortured and then stole her mate from her? The human who put his hands on her and left scars inside and out?
I thrust the shovel into the ground as hard as I can, the need for violence radiating through me.
This fucking bird.
She’s turned everything upside down, made this entire mission a fuck ton harder than it needs to be.
And she’s making the path we’re supposed to be on a lot more tangled than it used to be. Our way forward was once clear. Now, I have no idea what lies ahead for us. Or what I want to lie ahead.
A future without her in it is certainly not appealing to my unicorn, no matter who we have to share her with.
But if we keep her in our lives, it’s more than likely she’ll die.
We have an enemy who will stamp her out of this world just for daring to be connected to us.
Or, I have an enemy.
One Gavyn and Archer have inherited just by caring about me, by fighting at my side. Dara too.
It’s all I can do to protect them and try to keep them safe.
Unlike Lina.
I failed her in every way even before he got to her, before he ripped her away from me, leaving me with nothing but impotent rage and regrets.
All the things I didn’t say or do. All the ways I failed her.
I can’t go through it again.
I won’t.
I refuse to be left with barren memories and remorse.
Not again.
Chapter Forty
Allegra
ONCE WE’RE FINALLY released for the day, I hurry back to the dungeons ahead of Gavyn and Tahira’s concern.
I hide away in what is actually Zak’s cell since he never uses it and no one but him or possibly Tahira will think to look for me there. And they already understand, there’s nothing to explain to them.
But I can’t handle explanations tonight. And I’m hoping I’ve pulled away enough they can’t feel or find me right now.
Instead, I curl up on a ball shaking on the cold concrete, teeth clenched, tears choking me, wishing more than anything to shift into my bird and fly.
Fly long and hard toward the sun and to the edge of the earth.
But the fight is not yet won and I love too many of the people here too much to abandon them. Especially now that Borus has returned.
The day I’ve long feared has finally come.
And I don’t know if any of us will survive.
Zak finds me and wraps his warm body around mine, his hot stone and moonlight scent banishing the stench of citrus and iron from my nose. With him surrounding me, I can finally sleep.
I WAKE SCREAMING, MY back on fire from the whip, the inside of my thighs bruised from his tight grip, my face swollen from his fists, my insides throbbing from his abuse.
“Ally baby. Wake up. It’s a nightmare. It’s not real. Come back to me, darling. I’m here with you. You’re not alone. I’m here. We’re here.” Zakar’s voice echoes in my head.
I must be hallucinating. Reaching for comfort in the middle of this hell.
I even feel Rowan just the slightest bit. Maybe I’m almost dead and his ghost has come to greet me.
A phantom hand strokes my hair back from my face accompanied by a familiar seductive voice. “Come on, little songbird.”
My cries taper off even though I’m afraid to believe them. If it’s my fractured mind trying to trick me, I’m worried I won’t recover.
He came back for me. Borus came back.
Back to finish what he started.
“Tell him to fuck off, Al. He’s not real. He doesn’t have you. We do. And we aren’t going to let him hurt you again.”
When did Archer start using Zak’s nickname for me?
What the hell kind of fantasy is this?
I sob, answering my hallucination like the broken and crazy girl I am. “You can’t stop him. If you try, you’ll die just like Rowan did. After he makes me watch as he breaks you. Stay away. It’s safer that way. Better. We’re not mates. You don’t need to protect me. Just go. Go. Please. I can’t be responsible for more death, more pain. Zak, you too. He knew I loved you. He’ll come after you first.”
I curl deeper into myself, trying to drown out their voices and the pain.
“I’ll kill him if he tries.” Zakar breathes the threat into my ear. “I have my powers back, remember? I can turn to shadows and smoke before he lays a finger on me. And you need to promise you’ll fly the fuck away if he gets you alone. All of us can keep ourselves safe this time because we have our arcane sides to protect us. You don’t need to..”
I push at him. “Just go. He’ll find a way. He always finds a way.”
Tears soak my cheeks, pooling beneath my face.
This isn’t a fantasy or hallucination. Borus isn’t torturing me. Not yet anyway.
I’m in Zak’s cell with him and my three mates, caught between Zak and Asher with Sterling and Gavyn guarding us. My head clears of the nightmare for the most part, only a bit of it still clinging to me.
“He’s a dead man, birdie. It’s only a matter of time.” Sterling’s dark promise shouldn’t reassure or charm me, but it does.
I’ve seen how ruthless he is. He means it.
But I don’t want him to kill Borus.
I raise my head up to meet Sterling’s eyes. “He’s my kill. I get the final blow. For Rowan.”
An approving smile spread across the unicorn’s lips. “Okay, birdie. For Rowan. I’ll hold him the fuck down for you.”
That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I might be a little bit in love with Sterling at the moment, though I’m sure he’ll say something rude soon enough to take care of that insanity.
Fuck, my mind and emotions are all over the place. I can’t slow any of it down and calm myself, my breaths still short and fast, my pulse still pounding in my temples so hard my head aches, my fingers curled so tight blood seeps from under my nails.
Archer sucks in a sharp breath as the scent of blood hits the air. He reaches out for my hands and forces them to release their grip on nothing.
I blink at him as he raises a brow in query before I nod, even though I know better, but I tell myself it’ll strengthen him.
Sterling grumbles under his breath, but doesn’t stop it like it did yesterday.
Archer’s tongue darts out and cleans off each wound with even strokes, no playfulness in his midnight gaze, just a soft darkness I could lose myself in.
He isn’t trying to wind me up this time, it’s like he’s trying to comfort me, to reassure me that I’m not alone, that they’re with me, that for the moment I’m safe.
Once the wounds close, Archer presses a kiss to the center of my palm and gives me back my hand. I tuck it underneath my cheek and close my eyes, not wanting to have a conversation about what they just witnessed.
Instead of questioning me, the t
hree of them settle back on the floor around me, a barrier against the world.
Zak tugs me tighter against him and hums in my ear. An old lullaby Tahira used to comfort us with when we were young and scared.
Surrounded by my mates and with Zak singing me to sleep, I finally relax and am able to slip into a restless sleep.
But every time I wake, they’re there with a stroke of my arm or a whisper of reassurance or a squeeze of my waist or hand, soothing me back to sleep, giving me the strength to face tomorrow.
This is the beauty of mating bonds.
Too bad it's not going to work no matter what the fates or universe or stars have decided.
But I’ll accept the comfort while I have it in my life.
Chapter Forty-One
Gavyn
ALLEGRA’S SCREAMS STILL replay through my mind the next morning. The man who haunts her is in here with us, his cold gaze constantly on her.
I want to go to her and attempt to comfort her, but I’m trying to respect her request that we keep our distance when we’re in front of him.
She’s probably right. From what little we know about what he did to her the last time he was here, the human definitely needs to die.
My chest still hasn’t loosened its tight coil since we found her so pale and shaky after following her pain deeper into the dungeon than we’d been before.
We’re all thirsting for his blood, ready to dole out vengeance for ever daring to touch our mate.
I’ve never felt so helpless as I did while we tried to wake her and convince her we were really there. But sleeping in there with her and the others helped calm my incubus a little. It worries me he’s getting so attached.
I keep getting us on the same page and working towards the same goal when something else happens to knock us off course. Usually something to do with Allegra.
No matter how many times I remind myself and my incubus she deserves better and it wouldn’t be fair to her to tie her to us before she sees more of the world than this hellhole.