In Development

by Rachel Spangler

Cobie followed her through the maze of hallways, feeling a sense of purpose growing in her as she settled on her plan to call the whole thing off. This was the right call. She would end the turmoil. She would protect her heart and her integrity. She would live with whatever fallout she needed to because it was the right thing to do.

  “Cobie!” Stan boomed before she’d even gotten her foot in the door. “There’s my girl. Sorry, I should say, ‘There’s the young woman of the hour,’ because you’re clearly not a kid anymore.”

  She froze at the threshold. Who was this man, and who did he think she was to greet her in such a way?

  “What can we get you? Tea? Coffee? Coke? The drink or the drug.” He laughed. “Just kidding, of course. We can do that now, right?”

  “Sure.” She nodded skeptically, then added, “More coffee, please.”

  The receptionist smiled brightly. “Of course, Ms. Galloway.”

  “You look fantastic by the way.” Stan continued his lavish praise. “I can’t even believe you’re the same person who was in here a month ago.”

  “Yeah about that . . .” Cobie started, but his effusiveness had knocked her off-kilter.

  “And the press. It’s been phenomenal.” He smoothed his eyebrows with his index fingers. “Even I’m impressed, and that’s not easy to do. Can I tell you something honestly, just grown-up to grown-up here?”

  She nodded again, not sure she liked the emphasis on the grown-up part. What did that even mean?

  “I had my doubts, Cobie.” He walked around the desk and leaned against the front of it. “I’m ashamed to admit, but even though I knew you had the acting talent, I didn’t know if you had it in you to pull off a press push of this magnitude.”

  “Yeah, I sort of got that from you.”

  He hung his head so his chin touched the silken knot of his paisley print tie. “I’m sorry. Part of me still saw you as a kid, and I wanted to protect you. I hated the thought of you getting hurt. Part of me even worried you wouldn’t be able to separate your personal feelings from your career goals.”

  She made a strangled little noise in the back of her throat, but he only laughed.

  “I know, I know, I’m old-fashioned sometimes in ways Mimi isn’t. I should’ve trusted you. You’re smart. You think things through. You know what you want. I shouldn’t have doubted your commitment or your ability to follow through.”

  She swallowed a ball of emotions. “Yeah, so about the career stuff.”

  He smiled broadly. “Okay, okay, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can stick to business from here on out, but I just wanted you to know I’m sorry for underestimating you. I promise things will be different from now on. If you can stay the course on this, you can chart your own course anywhere, and I’ll let you make those decisions for yourself.”

  Holy hell, he was killing her here. How could she admit she’d fucked up after a speech like that? And still, she had fucked up. She hadn’t stayed the course at all. She’d taken the ship and rammed it into the rocks. Maybe she did need a handler. The thought made her grimace. She didn’t want to undo the progress she’d just made with him. Still, none of it would amount to anything if she fell apart. She could still get out. If she continued down this path, God only knew what would happen, but if she called it off now before there was real damage to any of their careers, only her ego would suffer.

  “Stan, I need to talk to you seriously about where this is headed.”

  “Of course, of course. Less talk, more action. Which is why I asked you to come in today. You’ve got an offer on the table.”

  “A what?”

  “It’s not a leading role, which I know is probably disappointing, and it’s not as dark as Vigilant, but it’s a major leap in the right direction.”

  Her interest momentarily overwhelmed her initial intent. “What’s the part?”

  “It’s a hero film, not one of the big ones, but it has a sizable budget and the possibility of a spin-off.”

  “You said I’d be supporting?”

  “Yes, they want you for the role of the villain’s sidekick. You’d get to kick people and shoot guns and make a lot of sarcastic comments.”

  “Like Robin, but evil?”

  “Yes!”

  Her heart beat faster. God, that sounded fun.

  “It’s a big step for you, maybe not as big as you’d hoped, but—”

  “No, I get it,” Cobie agreed. “It’s a major shift. I appreciate your seeking it out for me.”

  He grinned like a giddy kid. “I’d love to take credit, but they came to me. They don’t even want you to read. It’s an offer.”

  Cobie sank into one of his uncomfortable chairs. “They asked for me just straight up?”

  “Well, not straight up. I think the high-profile lesbian relationship helped with your appeal.”

  Her stomach roiled. “Right.” Of course it did. Of course today had to be the first morning where she saw tangible benefits from what she and Lila had done. Then again, she’d seen significant physical evidence of what she and Lila had built together last night. Why did those two things have to be in opposition?

  “They had another actress slated for the role, but she had to go to rehab. It’s a short shoot, and your character would only be in a handful of scenes, so you can catch up. I don’t think you’d be on location for more than two weeks. The shoot is in New York, by the way.”

  She nodded. Everything was perfect, everything was easy, everything pointed to this being the right call. She’d be lying to herself if she said she didn’t care about being wanted and having strong, fun, creative roles thrown into her lap. And yet that didn’t happen by accident, and it didn’t happen because of who she was as an actress. She’d gotten the opportunity to play someone shady only by becoming someone shady.

  “I don’t want to push you,” Stan said, concern now creeping into his voice. “I’m just not sure why you wouldn’t jump at this role.”

  “No, you’re right. I should. It’s everything I’ve worked for.”

  “But?”

  “But nothing.” She stood quickly. “It sounds like a good job.”

  “It is,” he assured her, “and I know you’re up for whatever they throw at you.”

  She appreciated the vote of confidence, at least intellectually. She’d waited a long time to hear something like that from him. Only, for the first time ever, she wasn’t sure she deserved it. She couldn’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that said she would let him down, that she’d let them all down if she hadn’t already, but bailing today wasn’t an option. She might not want to deal with what she wrought last night, but Stan was right about one thing, she was a grown-up now. She couldn’t pawn her decisions off on anyone else.

  “Make the deal,” she finally said. “I’ll be in touch about the details later.”

  “That’s it?” He sounded like he’d expected more of a fight, or perhaps more direction. “No money conditions or contract riders?”

  She shrugged. “I trust you to do your job the same way you trust me to do mine. That’s how this works from now on.”

  “Thank you, Cobie,” he said so sincerely she had to at least attempt to return his smile. “That means a lot to me.”

  Someday it would probably mean a lot to her too. Hell, today it probably meant a great many things she’d have to sort out on the way back to Lila’s, but for right now, all it really meant was she had to figure out what to say to the woman in her bed.

  • • •

  Lila sighed dreamily and reached out for Cobie before she even opened her eyes, but her fingertips sank into cool sheets. Her sleepy muscles tightened. Cobie wasn’t there and hadn’t been for some time. She blinked against the harsh morning light streaming through the windows and moved through a set of rapid observations from big to small. Cobie wasn’t in the room, her watch and rings were gone from the bed stand, her shoes were no longer on the floor. She hadn’t just gone downstairs, she’d gone. Lila’s heart ra
te spiked as bile rose in her throat. Cobie had sneaked out on her. She’d gotten whatever she wanted— the fame, the conquest, the bragging rights— and then left without so much as telling her. She’d pretended she cared, then left her just like—

  She stopped the thought before it even fully formed. No, this was nothing like that. No betrayal could compare to Selena. She wouldn’t let it. She’d allowed Cobie to get close, but not that close. Still, the realization of how much she wanted her to be different, how much she’d believed her to be different, caused her head to spin.

  She fought the urge to flop back onto the bed and pull the covers over her head. Throwing back the blankets, she looked around for something to put on, suddenly hyperaware of her nakedness. She didn’t have to search long. Cobie had neatly folded her clothes and placed them on the end of the bed. She supposed she should be grateful for that level of consideration, but it only made her angrier because Cobie had stopped to think about what she was doing and continued to do it.

  She pulled on the outfit Cobie had taken off her hours earlier and threw open the bedroom door, then screamed as she came face to face with Felipe.

  “Ah ha!” he shouted. “You did sleep with her!”

  She tried desperately to cover his mouth, but he jerked away, shouting, “Ew, God, yuck, did you wash your hands after you touched whatever you touch during girl sex?”

  “Shut up,” she whispered harshly.

  “Calm down.” He laughed. “We’re the only ones in the house.”

  She stopped. “What? Where’s Malik?”

  Felipe rolled his eyes. “Was the sex so good it made you lose your memory? Cobie had some big meeting with Stan this morning, and you didn’t want her to leave the house alone, so . . .”

  A rush of relief surged through her and she sank onto the nearest couch.

  “What?” Felipe asked, genuine concern seeping into his voice. “What’s wrong?”

  “Cobie had a meeting. A meeting I knew about. A meeting she’ll come back from.”

  “And?”

  “She didn’t just run out on me.”

  “Oh, honey.” He sat down beside her, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d even worry about that.”

  “I shouldn’t have,” Lila said flatly.

  “Because Cobie’s not that person.”

  “No, because I’m not that person.” She sighed. “Or at least I shouldn’t be.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with wanting the person you slept with to stick around in the morning.”

  “No, there’s nothing wrong with wanting it, but there’s a lot wrong with getting upset if it doesn’t happen. There’s a lot wrong with letting my emotions get invested, there’s a lot wrong with giving her that kind of power just because we had great sex.”

  His eyes went wide with excitement once more. “O-M-G, so the sex was great?”

  Lila sagged back against the couch and let the tingle of arousal race through her once more. “Amazing sex. Fantastic, earth shaking, all the things.”

  “All the things!” Felipe cheered.

  “She’s got skills,” Lila admitted. “One very specific one involves using her tongue to—”

  “Nope!” He covered his ears. “Too much. I like my lesbian sex to be vaguely titillating so I don’t have to think about the details.”

  She laughed. “But the details were so good. The details are where Cobie set herself apart from her competition.”

  “Can she really do things a man can’t do?”

  She thought about the answer. “I suppose men could learn those skills, but in my experience, none of them have mastered them the way she has.”

  “So do you think this is, like, some lesbian awakening for you? Are you going to go full-on lezzer now, or are you just totally hot for Cobie specifically?”

  She thought about the question for a moment, because it was a pretty big one with widespread implications. “I’ve never disliked sleeping with men. There’ve been some instances in which I quite enjoyed it.”

  He grinned wickedly. “I know, right?”

  “You’re not helping.”

  “Fine. Did you like sleeping with Cobie more than any of the men?”

  “Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, well that’s kind of a big deal.”

  “But what if I liked all women more than all men?”

  “Are you attracted to any other women?”

  “Sure, I can tell which ones are beautiful and which ones aren’t for me.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ask if you were blind. I asked if you were, like, legit physically itching to go muff-diving with other women.”

  “I suppose I wouldn’t rule it out, but I’ve never had any strong urges to before.”

  “No, honey, then the answer is no,” he said seriously. “This isn’t some random woman you happened to fall face first into. You have a thing for Cobie.”

  “I do have a thing for Cobie,” she admitted. Saying the words aloud after so much time lying to herself and others felt like a heavy rock she hadn’t realized was on her chest finally lifted. “She’s just got something about her. A mix of power and vulnerability, and she cares, like legitimately cares about things, me included. And she’s got this quiet competency. She doesn’t need anyone else to tell her what she knows or what she’s good at, and she’s quite good at so many things.”

  He nudged her gently with his elbow. “Things like sex?”

  “I meant things like dancing and singing and songwriting and reading people and, yes, kissing and sex too.”

  “And you haven’t been able to break her down, which means she’s strong-willed.”

  “I didn’t think so at first, but I misread her. And she’s only getting stronger. Her confidence last night was what did me in. I tried to push her away, and she didn’t really push back, but she stood her ground.” Lila shuddered at the memory of Cobie’s dark eyes on her, at the heat of her body so close, at the silent certainty. “She doesn’t need to stomp her feet and yell. She just holds steady.”

  “You haven’t had a lot of steady in your life,” he said softly, then playfully added, “other than me, of course.”

  “Yeah, you’re a Rock of Gibraltar,” she teased. “But I’m not sure I want steady.”

  “Because steady scares you?”

  “No,” she snapped, then shook her head. “Because steady isn’t good for a career, not for a pop star. Steady equates to static, and static equals outdated.”

  “And outdated means dead.”

  “Exactly. My image isn’t that of someone who settles down with the dependable Midwestern girl next door. That’s the opposite of what I wanted to accomplish here. I want to be edgy and unpredictable and on the go at all times.”

  “But you’re drawn to her. You had amazing sex with her, and she’s an above-average human being, plus you have all the things sexually. That’s kind of a big deal.”

  “I do like her in all the ways, and last night I acted on that. I’m not ashamed, and I don’t regret it.”

  “Because you want what you want and you take it because feminism.”

  She laughed again. “Something like that, and it was a great moment. But I cannot make long-term decisions based on moments that will inevitably end.”

  “Is an ending inevitable?”

  “Of course it is.” She didn’t even take time to consider any other possibility. “Everything that doesn’t adapt ends. The only thing I can count on to last is me, myself, my dreams, and in order for that to happen, I have to stay in control.”

  “Yeah, so that’s one take on it,” he admitted.

  “What’s another take?”

  “It’s not really your career you’re worried about hurting. It’s your heart.”

  She scoffed. “You’ve been watching too many Hallmark movies.”

  “I like them. Don’t take my joy, and don’t change the subject, be
cause you, of all people, can make your career work any way you want to. You don’t follow the market. You shape it. You have all the control there. You don’t have all the control with Cobie, and that’s a lot harder for you to deal with.”

  “You’re reading too much into this,” she said, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the ache in her chest. “I had great sex with someone I like. I’ve done so before without losing my head or throwing my livelihood away.”

  “But this sex was better, and quite frankly, the person is better too.”

  She threw up her hands. “I’m not sure the degree to which any of those things are true really matters, when—” She stopped short at the sound of the front door opening.

  “Hello,” Cobie called, her footsteps falling heavy on the front stairs. “Anyone up and about?”

  “We’re in the living room,” Felipe called out casually.

  “Which one?”

  “Marco.”

  Cobie laughed. “Polo.”

  “Marco,” Felipe said again.

  “Polo,” Cobie answered as she put her head through the doorway. “Oh hello.”

  “Good morning, Ms. Galloway,” Felipe said with put-on formality. “I was just going to make some breakfast, and by that, I mean I intend to make Malik make breakfast. Would you like anything?”

  “Maybe later,” Cobie said, “thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He rose and headed for the door. “Malik and I will be downstairs if you need us.”

  Lila turned to him, wide-eyed. He was leaving her? Alone with Cobie? After the conversation they’d just had? How uncharacteristically respectful of him. What was the point of living with a nosey drama queen if he left her alone when things actually got dramatic.

  “Hi,” Cobie said once he was out of earshot.

  “Good morning,” she said more calmly than she felt.

  “Is it?” Cobie asked, almost shyly. “A good morning for you? ’Cause I really hoped it would be, but I had to leave before I could check in on that front. I kind of hoped I’d be back in time to do that properly.”

  “Is that why you didn’t wake me before you left?”

  “Yes,” Cobie said quickly. “Also, you were sleeping really peacefully, and I didn’t know if today would be kind of hard in the peaceful department, so I wanted to give you as much time as I could.”