Defying Gravity: An Ice Tigers Hockey Novel

by Isabella Cassazza

  “Thank you,” she says as I place a plate filled with pancakes drowning in maple syrup in front of her, just as she likes it best. Lily very much approves of my grandma’s pancake recipe. Mine are nowhere near as good as hers, but they aren’t bad at all.

  After five days in bed, Lily’s finally on the road to recovery. Her voice is still a little hoarse, and she looks exhausted, but her fever has finally broken, and she’s getting stronger each day. She certainly looks better without the gray complexion.

  “How’s your throat?” I smile as she digs into the pancakes enthusiastically.

  “Much better.” She swallows the first bite and I stroke her hair lightly, leaning back beside her, content to sit here and watch the woman I’ve come to care about a great deal regaining her strength.

  She finishes the whole stack in record time, and I take the plate out of her hand. There’s syrup on her fingers, and I watch, transfixed as she takes one after the other in her mouth and licks them clean. When her tongue appears, I wonder how it’d feel on my dick, and I get hard.

  “That was delicious. I love your food,” I hear her say, but my mind is somewhere else. Fuck, what is wrong with me? This is the third time this has happened now. I blame my reoccurring problem on the fact that I’m horny as hell and have a severe case of blue balls due to the lack of sex in the past few days. I haven’t even had time in between taking care of Lily, playing two games, and training to jerk off once. Something has to change. I don’t want to throw Lily out of our bed—I want her close in case she becomes feverish again—but I’m going crazy here. I’ll have to take care of myself later.

  “I’m so full,” Lily says next to me, and I’m thankful for the distraction.

  “You only had three pancakes, Lily, you can’t be full.” Better to talk about food than think about my out-of-control sex drive.

  “Not everyone eats giant’s portions.”

  Yeah, another reminder that she’s a girl. What am I to do with her?

  “Go back to bed, Lil. You still need to rest.” I look at her pronounced cheekbones. Her appetite only returned yesterday, and it shows.

  “I’m not tired anymore.”

  I chuckle. “Now you look like a willful child.”

  “Seriously. I’m sick of doing nothing. Let’s watch a movie?” She bats her eyelashes at me.

  “Doesn’t work with me. I’m the gay guy.” I bat my eyelashes as well, and her laugh is music in my ears.

  “That you are,” Danny chimes in from the hallway. “But a movie is a good idea.” He bends down to kiss me briefly. “Brought you ice cream, Lily.” He turns to her and kisses her cheek.

  “You’re the best!” She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him close.

  After seeing her so subdued for the past couple of days, I’m glad her spirit has returned.

  “In your face, boyfriend.” Danny releases Lily and turns back to me with a smug smile.

  “C’mon. Let’s unpack the groceries. Lily, get the TV ready, but we’re not going to watch another chick flick.”

  “You liked the guy in the last one.” She bats her lashes again.

  “He was cute, but even he couldn’t make up for the crappy storyline.”

  “Okay, okay, no chick flick.” She lifts her hands in defeat.

  “Jesus, are we expecting an army?” I take in the four overflowing shopping bags in the hallway.

  “Smartass. No, it’s just for us.”

  “Why is there so much ice cream? Lily said she wanted just chocolate.” Lily wanted ice cream for her sore throat, but with her portion sizes, this is going to last at least two months.

  “Oh, Ty, you still haven’t figured out women. It’s never just chocolate. Wait, I’ll show you.” Danny turns around and shouts. “Lily, do you want nougat, chocolate brownie, or chocolate chip ice cream?”

  “You bought all my favorites? You’re the best. Some of everything, please,” she shouts back.

  Danny arches his eyebrow. “Told ya.”

  “Unbelievable.” I scoop up two bags and leave the rest for him. We unpack the bags in silence while I think about the little scene before. I’ll never understand women. Never. Ever. Good thing I’m gay.

  Danny places the last package in the fridge and walks around the counter, pulling me in for a kiss. I’m not the only one with blue balls, judging by the way he crashes his mouth over mine. He’s practically crawling into me, rubbing his body against me. I want to throw him on the counter and plunge into him. Maybe if we’re silent, Lily won’t notice?

  My phone buzzes in my pocket, ending our sexy time before it gets out of hand.

  “Hey, Ryan,” I answer, lowering my voice.

  “Hey, man. How’s Lily?”

  “She’s much better.”

  Danny watches me through half-closed eyes. Damn that interruption.

  “Good to hear. Tell her to take it easy, though. I want her to take as much time off as she needs.”

  “I’ll tell her that. She’s getting a little impatient as it is.”

  “Sounds just like her.” He laughs. “But listen, the reason I’m calling is to let you know that the sale is final. You’re officially a horse owner.”

  Danny’s eyes open wide, and he leans closer to listen. It’s damn inconvenient that I have to have the volume up for phone calls, but after several collisions with other players on the ice, my hearing has suffered, and Danny can hear Ryan loud and clear through the phone.

  “Awesome. Just remember what we’ve agreed upon. I don’t want her to know at this point.”

  “Anything you want. I’ll send the paperwork to your lawyer. It was great doing business with you, Tyler. I gotta go now. Give Lily my best.”

  “Will do. Bye, Ryan.”

  “You bought the fucking horse?” Danny’s mouth is as wide open as his eyes.

  I contemplate my answer. Danny knows how religious I am usually when it comes to spending money. I don’t want to waste any and would rather save as much as possible for when I retire. I’ve hardly bought anything unnecessary other than the apartment. Knowing we’d spend a lot of time here and make it our hiding place, I didn’t mind paying a lot of money. But unlike most of my teammates, I don’t drive a sports car or wear only designer clothes. I’ve spent a lot of money for Lily in the past months. I could justify the expenses for the personal shopper as necessary for her role as my fake girlfriend. Neither did I want her walking around town to catch the bus in the dark morning hours, so it was a no-brainer to buy a car for her.

  The stallion is a different matter, though. I’m aware how this must appear to Danny, since I haven’t bought him any expensive gifts lately and certainly none that equals the stallion’s worth.

  “How much, Ty?” he asks, although I still haven’t answered his first question.

  I open my mouth and close it again. I’m not sure how I can explain what I don’t understand myself. The only thing I’m sure of is that Lily has become important to me. I care about her. I want to make her happy. When she lost it over the stallion’s potential sale, I would have moved mountains to stop her tears. I couldn’t look on helplessly while her heart shattered in a million pieces, so I called Ryan and told him whatever the price was, I’d pay him more for Cornado.

  The stallion is the most expensive thing I’ve bought other than the apartment, but worth every penny.

  “It’s an investment. Ryan thinks she can even make it to world-class level with this horse.”

  “Ty….” Danny blinks rapidly and carves his hands through his hair.

  “We owe her our lives. Compared to what she has to put up with, it’s nothing. And you know she would never accept any payment. This way she’ll only be told that the horse has been sold, and that she is to continue his training.”

  “I think it’s too much, Ty. She’s not going to like it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not sure what I’d have done were the positions reversed, and there’re no words to describe how grateful I am that we’ve found her, but�
�.” He shakes his head again.

  “Hey, look at me.” I lift his chin. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

  “No, I’m not jealous. Just… never mind. You notorious chin-lifter.”

  “Notorious chin-lifter?”

  “Yeah. Haven’t you noticed? You do that to Lily all the time, lifting her chin and forcing her to look at you.”

  I hadn’t even noticed, but now that he’s mentioned it, I realize it’s true. I like to touch her that way. Danny’s feels different in my hands, though. Rougher, harder.

  I let go of his chin and grab the back of his neck, pulling him in for a heated kiss. Our tongues meet, and we’re back where we were minutes ago.

  “I need you,” I pant against his lips.

  “Need you too.” He pulls me even closer and rubs his hard-on against me. It’s tempting, but by now Lily must wonder where we are, and I can’t have her walk in on us.

  “We can’t.” I pull away, panting heavily now.

  He sighs but nods. “Ice cream it is, then.” A poor substitute for sex, but better than nothing.

  At least it’s ice cream and Lily.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Tyler

  “Do I have something on my face?” Lily’s voice startles me.

  “No, sorry, I got lost there.” I look from her to the screen, surprised that the movie we’ve been watching has already ended. If she wants to talk about the plot, I’ll have no idea what to say.

  “Are you thinking about the loss?”

  No, that’s not what I’m thinking about, but she can’t know that. “Yeah, it was a tough one. I’m still not sure what happened in the final period to make us lose so many plays.” I can’t concentrate, that’s what fucking happened, but she can’t know that either.

  “I’m sure the next one will be better.” Great, now she’s giving me a pep talk, and I don’t deserve one. I played like shit the other night, and I know it. My brain is working nonstop, but it’s not revolving around hockey. It hasn’t been for the past week, not since Lily left after her illness.

  I drop my head, moving it slowly from side to side to get rid of the tension that’s been building up there. We can’t afford to lose games, or we won’t make the playoffs. It’s fucking inconvenient to be distracted that way.

  The only time my number one priority wasn’t hockey was when I first met Danny and had to figure out whether to risk it all for him, whether to share my secret with him. It took me a long time to gather enough courage to confess my feelings. Back then, it seemed like the greatest risk of my life. Right now, it seems like peanuts compared to what I’m facing with Lily.

  I just can’t get over the fact that I got hard around her—and not because of Danny. Of that, I’m sure. It was because of her. Only because of her.

  I can’t get her out of my fucking mind anymore. When she’s with us, I stare at her, causing her to think something’s wrong with her appearance, and when she’s not here, I wonder what she’s doing and try to think of reasons to contact her.

  I’m constantly adjusting my dick in my pants around her, afraid she’ll notice the boner I’m sporting. It’s like I’m reliving puberty.

  Even my subconscious is obsessed with her. Two nights ago, I woke up to an earth-shattering orgasm. I was sixteen the last time I had a wet dream like that. Thank God I was on the road and thank God I don’t have to share my room, like some of the rookies have to. It was embarrassing enough without Danny or a teammate witnessing my accident.

  In my dream, I was pumping deep into a tight channel, enjoying the way it gripped my erection and the friction each thrust created. Surrounded by wetness, my dick got harder and harder until I finally couldn’t hold back anymore. That’s when I woke up and erupted all over my chest and abs. The only problem? The person I was fucking in my dream, wasn’t Danny. It was Lily.

  First the hard-on around her and now this dream. What the hell is happening to me?

  I like Lily. A lot. As a friend. As the woman who saved my sorry ass. As the one who saved my relationship. And I would hate not having her in my life anymore.

  But why all of a sudden am I attracted to her like this? I’m gay—100 percent. I’ve never been one of those guys who pretended to enjoy making out with girls just so they didn’t have to face their sexual preference. I never even tried going out with a girl. I just knew I wasn’t into them, that they wouldn’t do it for me.

  That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a beautiful woman when I see one, aesthetically, but they don’t trigger a sexual reaction. Until now. Until Lily.

  Lily is beautiful. No doubt about it, but there have been many beautiful women around me, and this has never happened before. So why now?

  Just when my life finally seems perfect, when all the pieces are falling into place, this has to happen? I want to tear my hair out, but Lily is still sitting next to me on the couch. We’re alone tonight, as Danny is participating in a two-day seminar.

  “I’m tired, Lily. Do you mind staying up alone?” It’s only nine, but I need some time to myself.

  “Sure. Good night, Ty.” I hate the uncertain tone in her voice, but I’m about to go ballistic here.

  I have to figure this out. Find a solution and make this confusion go away.

  “Night, Lily.” I practically run out of the living room.

  Once in the bedroom, I grab my phone and contemplate calling Danny for a moment, but how can I explain to him what I myself don’t understand. For him it’s always been clear that he’s attracted to both men and women, just as it had been clear to me that I was only attracted to men.

  I’m still attracted to him, so much that he must think me crazy by now. The moment Lily left after her illness, I was on him like an animal in heat and didn’t let him out of bed for the rest of the day. I know he was sore before I left for my road trip because I couldn’t leave him alone. I behaved like a man obsessed. When I was with Danny, Lily didn’t enter my mind. It was him and me, and it was enough. But when I’m alone, my thoughts revolve around her and my attraction to her.

  I exchange the phone for my laptop and fling myself on the bed, placing the laptop on my abs. Once I’m sure it’s linked with my headphones, I open the browser and type in a porn site. It’s time for an experiment.

  Instead of clicking on the gay section like normal, I stay on the main site and browse through the categories. Some of them I’ve never heard of. People apparently have some weird fetishes. I’m not sure which category to choose, so instead of selecting one, I browse the thumbnail pictures underneath that offer a variety of settings. Most look like they’re what I’m searching for—a man and a woman simply getting it on.

  My gaze flickers over the pictures, taking in women in different stages of undress. So far, no reaction from my lower half, but there’s no actual fucking in the pictures. It’s time for stage two of this experiment. Time for some action.

  I randomly click on a video and nearly gag. An older guy fucks a platinum blonde who must have a subscription to a plastic surgeon. The only thing faker than her tits are her moans, and my dick shrivels and hides away. No, thank you. That one isn’t for me.

  Closing the gag video, I return to the thumbnails and choose the next video more carefully. I decide to give a video labeled “Hot babe: Bathtub fuck” a try. Sounds promising to me. Danny and I once had a really good time in and on a bathtub. My dick twitches slightly at that memory and I exhale. Don’t mess up the experiment, Wolfe. Now is not the time to think about Danny.

  The opening credits end and a beautiful brunette in red lingerie stands in front of a detached bathtub. She’s swaying her body slowly from left to right when a man walks into the room. She smiles enticingly at him, and he follows the invitation, bending down to kiss her. The kiss goes on for quite some time before he turns her in his arms, opens her bra, and plays with her breasts, caressing them lightly while her head falls against his chest. My breathing shortens as his left hand moves down her body and sneaks into her panties. Her e
yes are closed, her mouth is open, and in my mind I picture Lily looking like that while I’m the one caressing her. My dick inflates.

  Fuck, this isn’t working. I shove the laptop away and take my erection in my hand. Knowing Lily is in the other room across the hall drives me fucking crazy. I can’t go to her. I can’t ruin what we have. I don’t want to lose her, and I don’t want to lose Danny.

  What if he wants her too? a voice whispers in my head.

  What if he doesn’t? another returns.

  I bury my head in my hands. I’m not sure if I can talk to him about this. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Isn’t it ironic that the very thing I had been afraid of at the beginning of our relationship is happening now, just the other way around? I’m the one attracted to a woman, not him? This has to be a joke. Where’s the hidden camera?

  I can’t act on my attraction. Danny and Lily are the most important people in my life, and I won’t risk losing them. What we have is precious. This obsession will pass.

  It has to.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Tyler

  I hold Lily close to me as we slow dance to “All of Me.” Enjoying the feeling of her body pressed tightly against mine, I bend down and inhale her sweet scent, burying my nose in her hair. Even in high heels, she barely reaches my shoulder.

  My obsession with her hasn’t magically disappeared. Instead, the only thing I can think of is Lily.

  She’s driving me crazy. I’m already rock hard in my dress pants, and Lily must notice my erection, but she doesn’t pull away. I can’t run away from my attraction to her anymore. It’s like she’s pulling me toward her with invisible strings.

  I haven’t had the opportunity to kiss her a lot in the last two weeks, but tonight provides me with ample opportunity, and I’m going to take advantage. I’ve come to crave the feeling of her soft lips against mine like I crave air.

  I lean down and kiss her, soft at first, but it isn’t enough anymore. So, I kiss her again. And again. Each kiss becomes a little more passionate, lingers a little longer than the last one. And I enjoy each one a little more than the one before.