Defying Gravity: An Ice Tigers Hockey Novel

by Isabella Cassazza

  I want more. I need more. I need her. She’s like a fire in my blood, and tonight I’m making her mine.

  I lift my head for a second, barely avoiding bumping into Nessy and his wife. He winks at me. “Get a room, Wolfe. You’re making the youngsters crazy.”

  They’re not the only ones crazy tonight.

  I’ve already noticed the way the single guys look at Lily, stripping her naked with their eyes. Not going to happen, not even over my dead body. I’ve never considered myself to be a jealous person, but each time someone asked her to dance tonight, I wanted to punch them in their smug faces.

  From the very beginning, Lily brought out my protective side, but what started out as a friend protecting a friend has now become a lover staking his claim, making sure his woman is safe.

  “Lily,” I murmur in her ear. She lifts her head, looking at me. I see confusion flicker in her eyes combined with desire. I haven’t talked to her about how my feelings for her have changed over the past weeks. How I finally see what’s been there all this time. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time, just with different eyes, and I’ve acknowledged to myself that I might not be as gay as I always thought myself to be. I’ve never been into another woman, and I don’t think I ever will be. But I’m into Lily—just Lily. My sweet, beautiful Lily.

  Danny slept peacefully next to me the last two nights while I lay wide awake thinking about Lily and what would happen to our relationship if I confessed my growing attraction to her. I’ve always credited myself to be an honest person, to myself and to others.

  At least I’m finally not lying to myself anymore. I’m attracted to a woman. To Lily. And it’s not just sexual attraction. I have feelings for her. Hell, I’m practically overflowing with feelings for her, but I also love Danny, and I’m about to betray him. I contemplated talking to him about this. My feelings. My confusion. The admission to myself that I’m attracted to two people. That I love two people.

  But somehow, I couldn’t. I need to figure this out on my own. I need to figure this out with Lily. This is about her and me. I only hope that, in the end, I’m not the one left with nothing. Without Danny and without Lily.

  Pushing all those troubling thoughts away, I bend down to kiss her again, really kiss her this time.

  I let my tongue sweep into her mouth, not giving her the chance to deny me. She hesitates for a moment, but then her tongue starts caressing mine in return, expressing what we both haven’t been able to say with words up until this point.

  Lily has become guarded around Danny and me, hiding her feelings and her reactions to our bodies. But I’ve watched her every movement closely this past week, and I’m 100 percent sure she’s attracted to both of us. She’s found ways to avoid Danny touching her too often and has a longing look on her face whenever she thinks no one’s watching her. Knowing the person she is, she’d never do anything to get between Danny and me. But I want a chance for us, for the three of us. I just have to figure out my attraction to her first. I crave her like nothing before, and it scares me. Confuses me. Shakes me up.

  I grab the back of her head, pulling her even closer, deepening the kiss even more.

  “Get a room.” It’s Smithy’s voice this time. Smithy who thinks I’ve been enjoying Lily for the past couple of months. If he only knew.

  “Shut up and kiss your own girl,” I say, lifting my head briefly. But he’s right, it’s time to get out of here. I don’t care what people will say about us leaving like this. I’m a starving man, desperate to have a taste of her. Thank fuck the assistant manager has already handed out the room keys.

  “Ty.” Lily’s voice is hoarse as I pull her with me to the elevators.

  “Shh.” I kiss her again. I’m a man on a mission, and nothing’s going to stop me. Tonight I’m going to claim her, put my mark on her. Tonight we’ll become one. Fuck the consequences.

  The door to our room barely closes behind us when I crash my mouth on hers again. Ravishing her. Claiming her. The burning need to take this further overwhelming me. It still isn’t enough.

  I turn us around and lift Lily onto the dresser, making it easier for me to kiss her as deeply as I want to. Lily meets my kisses with the same urgency that has overcome me. She’s not holding back anymore either and abandons herself in my embrace.

  I grab her thighs, bunching her dress in the process. I can’t wait any longer to touch her. I envied Danny the fact that he was able to put his hands on her for the past weeks during their training and massages. I might have been the one allowed to kiss her, but he could feel her soft skin. I want to make her mine in that way too, acquaint myself with her soft curves and touch her like I’ve never touched a woman before.

  As I let my hands wander up and down her thighs without breaking the kiss, Lily shoves my jacket from my shoulders. It lands with a soft thud on the floor and is quickly joined by my tie and dress shirt. My skin quivers where she places her hands on my chest, and I moan when she slowly caresses me from my chest to my abdomen and back again.

  Before I lose myself in her touch, I break our kiss. “You have to help me, Lil. I’ve never slept with a woman before. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  She places her hand on my cheek and strokes it with her thumb. “Are you sure you want this?”

  I take her hand from my chest and place it over the bulge in my pants. Lily gasps.

  “That’s what you fucking do to me. Never doubt that I want this. I want you. I need you.”

  “What about Danny?” she asks, lowering her eyes.

  I lift her chin again and look deep into her eyes. “This is about you and me. He’ll understand.”

  “But—” she says, but I place a finger over her lips.

  “I need you, Lily. You’re driving me fucking crazy. Do you want me too?”

  She glides down the dresser, turning her back to me, and for a moment I worry all is lost, but then I hear her voice. “Unzip me, Ty. There can be nothing between us.”

  At first my hands shake when I try to find the zipper in the dimly lit room, but then moonlight streams inside as a cloud is pushed away, and Lily’s creamy skin is illuminated. I steady myself and find the zipper, pulling it down inch by inch, and the dress lands in a heap on the floor, leaving Lily exposed but for a tiny strip of white lace sugarcoating her round, perky butt.

  I stay frozen in place, itching to touch her yet uncertain how to proceed. I’m familiar with the needs of male bodies and have become a master of blow jobs and rough, primal fucking, but a woman’s softness is the opposite of a man’s edges. I’ve learned to make sweet love with Danny rather than just fuck without emotions, but I’m out of my comfort zone with Lily.

  “Touch me,” she says, snatching me out of my trance.

  “Where?” My voice cracks.

  “Where you want to. I want to feel you.”

  I exhale and slowly lift my hands, placing them on her shoulders. The soft texture of her skin against my rough hands makes me shiver. Lily exhales sharply as I let the tips of my fingers trail down the outside of her arms and up the inside again while I bend forward and bury my nose in her hair. It tickles my nose, so I shove it away and kiss her neck, making her jump slightly.

  “You like that?”

  “Yes.” She leans into me, giving me better access to the sweet curve of her neck.

  “How about that, then?” I suck on the soft skin while my hands stroke down her back and up her sides again. Goose bumps appear on Lily’s skin, and she leans back even more.

  “Ty.”

  “Tell me what you need.” I lick a trail from her neck to her ear.

  “More. I need more.”

  “Show me.”

  She reaches for my hands and pulls them around her, placing them just below her throat. Her hands are still covering mine when she slowly, ever so slowly, lowers them toward her breasts, only stopping when her hard nipples peak against my palms.

  I mold my hands against her small, perky breasts and acquaint myself w
ith their gentle swell. When I softly pull on her nipples, Lily’s head falls back against my chest, giving me access to her mouth. I bend down, taking in her beautiful features, and let my tongue sweep into her slightly opened mouth, plundering it while I continue to caress her breasts in slow, lazy circles.

  Lily rubs herself against my painfully hard dick, and I have to lift my head, struggling to breathe for a second. She turns around in my arms, looking up at me. “You’re all right?”

  “Never better.” I bend down to kiss her again and pull her body entirely against mine, needing the friction on my erection. As if she can hear my thoughts, Lily reaches between us and opens my pants, making me moan as she places her hand over my dick. For a second, she squeezes me gently but then jerks me through my underwear, and I grab for the wall to steady myself.

  “Bed. Now,” I groan and push her forward. We get rid of my boxers and her panties while stumbling to the big bed. Lowering Lily to the sheets, I move above her and press myself against her soft body. Slowly grinding against her, I kiss her passionately as I feel our bodies rubbing together. My dick moves against her pussy, gliding through heat and wetness. I tremble, anticipation building in me.

  “I need you inside me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you. You sure you’re ready?” I look down at her beautiful face.

  “I’m ready. You’re not going to hurt me. Please.” She looks at me with heavy-lidded eyes.

  Taking my dick into one hand, I glide twice more through her slit, wetness coating me. I inhale deeply and gently push against her entrance, giving her time to open up to me.

  I hesitate for a second. “Do I need a condom?”

  “I’m on the pill, and I trust you. Stop thinking, Tyler.” She shifts her hips up, and my dick slips in an inch. A glorious inch. I hold my breath as I sink deeper and deeper into her body until I’m as deep as she can take me. We both gasp as I fall upon her, overwhelmed by the heat, wetness, and her velvety softness around my dick. She feels incredibly tight around me as my body pulls back and sinks in again automatically while my brain is still overwhelmed with sensation.

  I take in Lily’s flushed face as I rock back and forth, unable to stop my body from moving. Her lips are parted, but our eyes never lose contact as I grind into her faster and harder, unable to control myself. I’m not sure how much longer I can endure this sweet torture, but just when the need to orgasm threatens to overwhelm me, her whole body tightens and her inner walls clench, pushing us both over the cliff—free-falling and flying higher at the same time.

  When I return to earth, I flip us over and pull Lily’s limp body on top of me, desperate to feel her against me. Her breathing becomes even, and she’s fallen asleep before I can fully pull the blanket over us.

  For tonight she is mine, and I am hers. Tomorrow we’ll have to face the consequences of this night, but for now, I’ll keep her safe.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Danny

  I open the door to our apartment, glad to be home again after a two-day seminar on muscle recovery. The trainer explained a couple of new techniques that I can’t wait to try on Lily and Ty, but while the seminar was great, I’m glad to be home again.

  I haven’t spoken to Ty since yesterday morning, as he and Lily went to a fundraiser, and I want to hold him in my arms again. I should be used to being separated due to his long road trips, but instead of getting easier, it gets harder each time. I’m curious about their evening and can’t wait to see pictures of Lily in what I’m sure was another stunning dress.

  The apartment is dark when I step inside. Only the streetlights are visible through the window front in the living room.

  Maybe Ty has already gone to bed. I’m exhausted too, and the idea of snuggling with him while I fall asleep is appealing.

  I don’t know what it is about hotel beds, but they’re just never as comfortable as advertised, except when Ty is lying next to me. Then I don’t care where we sleep. But as he wasn’t with me, I missed our bed as well.

  I drop my luggage and coat and make my way to the bedroom. The door is open. Weird. Tyler is religious about closing the door. But maybe he was too tired to care. I sent him a text earlier about the flight being delayed and never received an answer to that either.

  Peeking inside, I find the bed is empty. I check the bathroom too, but still no sight of Tyler.

  I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial his number. A phone vibrates in the living room. It’s unlike him to leave without his phone. What the hell happened here?

  I run into the living room and pick up his phone from the coffee table. My message from earlier is still unread.

  It’s the sound of breathing that causes me to turn to the couch. And there he is, slumped on the couch with his head buried in his hands.

  “Ty?” I kneel in front of him and touch his cheek.

  He lifts his head slowly and looks at me briefly, then lowers his eyes immediately again. I’m not sure what to do. Whatever happened has had a deep impact on him.

  “What—”

  “I slept with Lily,” he says, barely audible.

  Wait. What? I pull my hands back. Did he just say he slept with Lily?

  “Say that again.” I need to hear him say it again. This can’t be true. He’d never do that to me.

  “I. Slept. With. Lily.” He refuses to meet my eyes.

  “When?” I force myself to ask. My head is spinning. I feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath my feet and I plop on my behind.

  “Yesterday. At the fundraiser. The team booked rooms for us, and we stayed overnight.”

  “How long has this been going on?” I stare at the carpet; looking at him is too painful.

  He snorts. “Only last night. I didn’t plan for this to happen, Dan. I’m fucking confused. I’ve never been attracted to a woman before. It’s just Lily. She’s so goddamn beautiful and….”

  “Was it just sex?” Ty is attracted to a woman, and not just any woman. He’s attracted to Lily. Our Lily. His Lily. They don’t need me anymore.

  He hesitates but then shakes his head. Tears prickle in my eyes. I’m not going to break down in front of him. I’m not giving him that. I won’t let him see how much he hurt me. My world has shattered and lies like a broken vase around me, and my heart is broken in a million pieces.

  Ty, my Ty, is in love with a woman, with his fucking fake girlfriend. With the woman I’m also attracted to. But instead of talking to me, he went behind my back to sleep with her.

  That can only mean one thing. He doesn’t want me anymore.

  I can’t even blame him. Lily is stunning. Why want me if he can have this beautiful pint-sized woman with her big heart and bright smile that has lightened up my world so often? Maybe this is how it was meant to be. Their life will be so much easier without me. She can give him what I will never be able to: marriage, children, a relationship openly lived.

  I’ve lost them both.

  The only thing left to do is to stand up with as much dignity as I can muster. “I’ll just pack my things, then.”

  “No.” He jumps up and steps in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

  “Don’t touch me,” I practically growl. I can’t believe this is happening. His hands feel like a hot iron on my skin, searing me, burning me, hurting me.

  “You’re getting this all wrong.” He lifts his hands from me, and they drop down to his sides. “I love you, Danny. That hasn’t changed. But… but I’m also in love with Lily. I want you both.” Tyler clenches his hands. “When she looked at me yesterday with those goddamn eyes, I couldn’t stop. I had to know how she felt. How it would feel to be inside her. I‘ve been hard around her constantly since she got sick. It was driving me fucking crazy. Do you know how much I envied you? I wanted to touch her too, and I had to watch you do it.”

  “You want us both? And Lily, is that what she wants too?”

  “It’s what I want. I’m in love with you both. About Lily… we’ll have to convi
nce her. I’m pretty sure she’s attracted to both of us, but when we woke up this morning, she refused to talk to me. She felt guilty and blamed herself. Told herself she should have stopped me, as if I would have let her.”

  “Was it good?” I’m still stunned by the turn of events. In secret, I’ve fantasized about the three of us being together. Could this really be happening? And why didn’t he talk to me about his feelings?

  “Glorious. Different. Overwhelming. I’m pretty sure Lily enjoyed it too. She’s very passionate. I lost myself in her.”

  “How long have you been in love with her? And why didn’t you talk to me? Why sleep with her behind my back?” This time I’m the one placing my hands on his shoulders.

  “I’m not sure. If I’m honest, I think I fell for her the very first night, but I’ve only reacted physically to her since she was sick. It’s still confusing for me. Other women don’t do it for me. It’s just Lily. I know I should have talked to you, but I needed to figure this out for myself first, and when I saw her in her black ball gown, I lost my head. I had to have her. I’ve had trouble concentrating for the past few weeks, and I… I just… I love you. Never doubt that. I shouldn’t have slept with her. Not without telling you.”

  “I need some space, Ty,” I hear myself say. This is too much. I’m too emotional to make any rational decisions now, and I don’t want to destroy our relationship, or what’s left of it. Cheating is a deal breaker for me. Hell, I’ve been attracted to Lily right from the start, but I’d have never gone behind Ty’s back.

  But you’re the bisexual man, my subconscious whispers. Yeah, I get that he must have been confused as fuck. Happened to me too when I suddenly was attracted to Ty. Still, I need to find out how I feel about all these things. Without Tyler.

  “I need to get out of here for a while.” I’m already making my way to the doorway.

  “Are you breaking up with me?” Ty’s lips tremble. Damn, I don’t want him to suffer, but I need time to think. Alone.

  “No, I’m not breaking up with you. But I need to think. There might be a chance for us, but I need to figure this out on my own. Don’t contact me.” I grab my bag and coat from the floor. Without looking at him again, I leave the apartment and only stop once I’ve left the building. What to do now? I don’t have any close friends thanks to the secretive way I’ve had to live for the past couple of years. The only person I could call is Lily. She’s my only true friend apart from Ty. And she’s the other one who betrayed my trust.