My Valentine

by Tracie Peterson

  They made their way up the stairs, slowly following Abraham’s aged form. Pierce felt the yarmulke slip off his head just in time to replace it. Dennison was having no better luck. As they entered the dining area, Pierce saw Abraham touch his hand to his lips and then touch a small metal box at the inside of the door. He pondered this for a moment, wondering what the box represented, but then Darlene appeared, and he thought of nothing else for a very long time.

  She was lovely, just as he’d remembered her. She wore a beautiful gown of amber satin and lace, and her hair had been left down to cascade in curls below her shoulders. Her response was friendly and open, but Pierce sawa light in her eyes when she met his gaze and it caused a surge of energyto flow through him.

  “Good evening, my dear,” Dennison said first. “Thank you for the invitation to share such an important celebration with you.” The yarmulke slid off his head and onto the floor. Dennison laughed and bent over to pick it up, just as Pierce’s did the same.

  Everyone laughed, but it was Abraham who spoke. “For you, Darlene could fetch some hat pins?”

  They all laughed again and Pierce and Dennison replaced the yarmulkes.

  Then it was Pierce who spoke. He tried to steady his nerves and keep his voice even. “Darlene, it’s wonderful to see you again. I see you’ve managed to avoid the freighters.”

  She blushed as he knew she would at the reminder of their last meeting. “Good evening, Mr. Blackwell,” she said rather shyly.

  “Nonsense, my name is Pierce. You must use it and give me the honor of addressing you by your given name.”

  Darlene looked hesitantly at her father and Dennison Blackwell before nodding. “Very well, Pierce.”

  She hurried away after that and Pierce wished that he could follow her. “Do you need help with anything?” he called after her.

  “No. Everything is ready.”

  She was only a few feet away, but space seemed to represent an unbreakable wall to Pierce. Her rejection of his help left him with nothing to do but listen to the conversation of his father and Abraham, and to make an occasional comment when asked for one.

  “Come,” Abraham said, “we’ll begin our seder.”

  Pierce took in every detail of the setting. A beautiful lacy cloth lay over the table and two lighted candles, in intricate silver holders, were placed atop this. There was also a strange tray of some sort with six circular indentions. Each indention held some food article, but none held the same appeal as the delicious aroma of whatever Darlene had in the oven. Pulling out a chair, Pierce saw that there was a cushion on it. Gazing around he noted a cushion at the back of every chair. Perhaps the Lewys feared that their guests would expect luxury.

  Darlene took her seat opposite Pierce, looking up for a moment to meet his gaze. He smiled, hoping that it would both charm and relax her. She seemed tense in his presence and he wondered if perhaps she would have rather he not share her Passover seder.

  Abraham began the opening prayer and from there the ceremony seemed to pass in a blur of fascination for Pierce. It was all so different from anything he’d ever known, yet there was also an air of familiarity. Had he not been taught from the Bible about Moses and the slavery of Israel? Yet for Darlene and Abraham, there seemed an appreciation for this remembrance that Pierce had no understanding of. He had known an easy life. He had known a life of privilege. Thinking this, Abraham’s next words caught Pierce’s attention and seared a place in his heart.

  “We speak this evening of other tyrants and other tyrannies as well. We speak of the tyranny of poverty and the tyranny of privation, of the tyranny of wealth and the tyranny of war, of the tyranny of power and the tyranny of despair, of the tyranny of disease and the tyranny of time, ofthe tyranny of ignorance and the tyranny of color. To all these tyrannies do we address ourselves this evening. Passover brands them all as abominations in the sight of God.”

  Abominations in the sight of God? Pierce could only wonder at the meaning for surely God had no problem with wealth and prosperity. Unless, of course, it led to greed and cruelty. He thought of Amanda Ralston. The tyranny of ignorance and color gave him thoughts of Eugenia and her fierce dislike of the Jews in their city. All the things named as tyrannies were the very essences of those things that separated one people from another.

  The ceremony continued and Pierce was surprised when Darlene got up and retrieved a pitcher of water, a bowl, and a towel. Abraham noted his confusion and smiled.

  “It is recorded in the Talmud, the hands should be washed before dipping food.”

  Pierce watched as Darlene placed the bowl at her father’s side. He held his hands over the bowl and she poured a small amount of water from the pitcher. Abraham rubbed his hands together and accepted a towel from Darlene on which to dry them. This process was repeated for Dennison, and finally for Pierce. He sensed her anxiety and nervousness. Without looking up, he held his hands as he’d seen the others do and when she handed him the towel, their fingers touched for just a moment. He heard her draw in her breath quickly and kept his face lowered. Such a sobering ceremony deserved his respect, but he really felt like smiling because he was growing ever more certain that Darlene felt something powerful for him.

  After washing her own hands, Darlene retook her place and the seder continued. There was a passing of raw parsley, which was used to dip in salt water, and Abraham directed them all in the recitation of the blessing, first in Hebrew and then in English.

  “Praised be Thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, Who created the fruit of the earth.”

  There were more prayers and the breaking of the unleavened bread, or matza as Abraham called it, and Pierce was completely mesmerized by the process of this ceremony. There were symbolic reasons for everything and he suddenly found that he wanted to understand it all at once.

  Without warning, Darlene spoke in a soft, but clear voice that reminded Pierce of a little girl. “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

  He wondered if this was part of the ceremony or just a reflective thought because of his presence at her seder. He didn’t have long to wait before realizing that this was yet another portion of recitations. Abraham spoke out in his deep, authoritative voice.

  “In what way do you find this night different?”

  “In four ways,” Darlene answered, “do I find it different.”

  “What is the first difference?”

  Pierce paid close attention as Darlene replied. “It differs in that on all other nights we eat bread or matza, while on this night we eat only matza.”

  “And what is the second difference?

  “It differs in that on all other nights we eat vegetables and herbs of all kinds, while on this night we must eat bitter herbs.”

  Abraham nodded. “And what is the third difference between this night and all other nights?”

  “It differs in that on all other nights we do not dip vegetables even once, while on this night we dip them twice.”

  “And what is the fourth difference?”

  “It differs in that on all other nights we eat in an upright or a reclining position, while on this night we recline at the table.”

  Pierce began to realize the purpose for the cushion at his back. There was so much that he was unaware of and he felt like an outsider intruding on something very precious.

  “The four differences,” Abraham concluded, “that you have called to our attention are important and significant. They are reminders that freedom and liberty are cherished values not to be taken for granted.”

  The words touched Pierce as Abraham continued to explain. “To appreciate what it means to be free, we must be reminded of how it feels to be enslaved.”

  Pierce felt a chill run up his spine. He took his freedom for granted. He took his wealth and the privileges he enjoyed for granted. He didn’t know what it was to be enslaved, with the possible exception of the way Darlene had enslaved his heart.

  Abraham continued with a recitation of t
he enslavement of the Israelites under the Egyptian taskmasters. He stressed the importance of retelling the story of deliverance lest any man forget God’s blessings and the importance of freedom. There were other stories and a remembrance of the ten plagues God had brought upon Egypt when Pharaoh would not let the children of Israel go.

  Then came another phase of the seder and Abraham raised a bone that lay upon the seder tray. This was symbolic of the paschal lamb that was eaten on Passover eve when the Temple stood in Jerusalem. “What does this bone remind us, and what does it teach us?” Abraham questioned and then continued. “It reminds us of the tenth plague in Egypt, when all the firstborn of the Egyptians were struck down. It reminds us of the salvation of the Israelites whose homes were spared. For Pesach means more than paschal lamb; it has another meaning. It means, ‘He skipped over.’ The Lord skipped over the houses of those whose doorposts bore the blood of the lamb.” Abraham lowered the bone and said very seriously, “The willingness to sacrifice is the prelude to freedom.”

  Pierce felt a trembling in his body and clearly knew the hand of God was upon him. Perhaps he was in more bondage than he knew. He wondered if he had a heart for sacrifice and whether he could give up all that he loved, for the sake of freedom in God.

  Abraham then raised the matza. “This matza that we eat reminds us of the haste with which the Israelites fled from Egypt. The dough that they were baking on the hot rocks of the Egyptian fields was removed before it could leaven, and so it remained flat.”

  He lowered this and picked up the maror, bitter herbs represented here by horseradish. “The bitter herbs symbolize the bitter lot of the Israelites who were enslaved in Egypt. Pesach, matza, and maror are the symbolic expressions that represent freedom in all ages. Today we might say they symbolize sacrifice, preparedness, and hope. These are necessary elements in the fight for freedom.”

  Pierce’s thoughts were turned inward as the seder concluded. He barely heard the words while going through the motions of the ceremony. His heart and conscience were pricked with the meanings and representation of the things he did. When he’d agreed to come to the seder, Pierce had thought nothing of how it might affect him. He’d only thought of Darlene and how she might affect him. But now, in the humble quiet of their home, Pierce’s mind ran in a multitude of directions. To have freedom from the greed and prejudice of New York society, he would have to sacrifice his comfort. To go forward in a positive and clearly mapped-out manner would require preparation. And, to serve God more directly and in a completely life-changing way would require hope. Hope in that which he could not see, but was certain existed.

  The seder meal was completed and the symbols cleared away by Abraham, while Darlene brought out a most extensive feast. Pierce watched her intently, wondering quietly to himself whether she’d ever consider leaving New York as his wife.

  As they sat around the table enjoying a huge beef roast, Pierce was surprised when Abraham spoke. “Your celebration of Easter seems to share something with our Passover.”

  “It shares a great deal,” Dennison replied. “We remember that Jesus ate the Passover seder with His disciples before going to His death on the cross. This time of year reminds us, too, of freedom. We Christians have freedom from eternal death because of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. He prepared a way for us to be reconciled with God, and because of this we have hope that He will come again for us.”

  Darlene’s expression seemed to change from indifference to revelation. She said nothing, but Pierce saw the change and wondered if God had somehow stirred her heart to understanding.

  “And,” Pierce added quickly, hoping that his words would reach her, “the blood that Christ shed for us is like that of the lambs’ blood sprinkled over the doorposts of the Israelites, although more precious because it was the sacrifice of God’s son rather than that of a simple beast. But both represent the shedding of blood in exchange for death passing us by. Christ died that we might not have to.”

  Darlene looked at him for a moment, and in those few precious seconds, Pierce believed that God had finally made Himself known to her. Perhaps there would be no instantaneous revelation. Perhaps it would be years before she would understand what had happened. However long it took, Pierce knew that seeds had been planted and he was confident that God could harvest Darlene’s heart for His own.

  Chapter 10

  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that,

  while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

  Romans 5:8

  After sharing Passover with the Blackwells, Darlene knew that she’d never be the same. It was impossible to stop thinking about the words Dennison and Pierce had shared. Also, it was impossible to not remember the joy in Father’s face and the certainty in which he shared his heart on the matters of Christianity and Judaism. And, alas, it was also impossible to forget Pierce Blackwell. His gentle smiles pervaded her thoughts. His searching eyes and questioning expressions made her realize that he wanted to know more about her. But why? Why was Pierce paying her so much attention? In the months that had passed since that seder dinner, he had come by for visits, brought candy and trinkets (always for both herself and her father), and he seemed completely determined to better know her mind on certain issues.

  What did she think of westward expansion? What did she know about the new railroads? What had she read about the western territories and states? Did she like to travel? Would she ever consider leaving New York City?

  Oy vey! But the man was annoying!

  That night had not only given her reason to consider her heart and soul, but had also changed forever her relationship with her father. Abraham now openly attended church with the Blackwells and more frequently was absent from the synagogue. This made Darlene depressed and discouraged, but even more so, she found herself consumed by a deep, unfillable void. Why did Tateh have to embrace Christianity and turn away from the Hebrew faith? He hadn’t announced the rejection of Judaism, so Darlene tried to keep hoping that her father was merely studying the goy’s faith with a scholarly interest. But deep down inside, she knew it wasn’t true.

  In his bedroom, Darlene could hear her father at prayer. He would wear his tallis, the fringed prayer shawl of black and white. He would also have his tefilin, leather boxes, strapped to his forehead and left arm. Inside these boxes were the Scriptures of Exodus thirteen, verses one through ten, dealing with the remembrance of God bringing the Hebrew children out of bondage and commanding them to keep God’s laws. On his head would be his yarmulke and from his mouth would come the familiar prayers she’d heard all of her life. These were the markings of his Jewish faith. Why then would he lay them aside in a few moments, eat breakfast with her, and go to the goy’s church with the Blackwells?

  Tears came to her eyes and she wiped at them angrily with the back of her sleeve. It wasn’t right that her father should leave her so confused and alone. Why must she struggle through this thing? Why should there be such despair in her heart?

  She brought bread and porridge to the table and set it down beside a huge bowl of fruit. She loved the summer months when fruits and vegetables could be had fresh. Fetching a pitcher of cream, Darlene tried to rally her heart to gladness. They had plenty and were well and safe. Her father’s health had even revived a bit with the warmth of summer. Surely God was good and His protection was upon them, in spite of her father’s search to better understand Christianity.

  “Good morning, Neshomeleh,” Abraham said, coming into the kitchen. He reached a hand to his lips and touched the mezuzah as he always had.

  Darlene smiled and came to greet her father with a hug. “Good morning, Tateh. Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, very well.” His smile warmed her heart, just as his kiss upon her forehead put her at ease. “And you?”

  “It is well with me, also.”

  They ate in companionable silence, but when Abraham had finished, he eyed Darlene quite seriously and said, “I have a favor to ask of you.”


  Darlene put down the dish she was clearing and asked, “What is it?”

  “Sit.”

  She did as she was asked, but in her mind whirled a thousand possibilities. What was it that he would ask of her that required she sit down? “What do you want of me, Tateh?”

  “Come with me today. Come to the Blackwell’s church and be at my side. It is important to me and I only ask because it would mean a great deal.”

  “But why now? Why is it suddenly so important to you?” Darlene felt fear constrict her chest. It was difficult to breathe.

  Abraham smiled lovingly and put his hand upon her arm. “Because today, I will accept Jesus into my heart.”

  “What!” She jumped up from the table. “You can’t be serious!”

  “Darlene, I have never been more serious. These long months I have searched for answers to questions that have eluded me all of my life. The knowledge given to me through the Tanakh and the New Testament has answered those questions.”

  “New Testament?”

  Abraham smiled tolerantly. “It’s the story of Jesus and His followers. It tells how believers in Christ should act and live. It filled my longing and took away my emptiness.”

  Darlene thought of her own longing and the emptiness that haunted her. She swallowed hard and sat back down in a rather defeated manner. “Then you are no longer of the faith. What of your friends and the shop? You will become as dead to them.”

  “Most likely,” Abraham agreed. “But then, they haven’t exactly been very friendly these last months anyway. I make a good living from people who are not Jewish, so the shop should not suffer overmuch.”

  “But Hayyim will leave us. How will you manage to work without help?”

  “I’ll advertise for a Christian. There must be plenty of Christian young men who would take up the job of tailoring.”

  Finally Darlene had to ask the one remaining question. “What of me? What of us? The cantor says I should leave you and live with Esther. He says you are a traitor and that should you reject your faith, I must leave or face the possibility of becoming a traitor as well.”