Beauty Claimed

by Allyson Lindt

  Was she overreacting? Probably. It had been a long few days that ended on a series of down notes. She loved half of what happened, hated the other half, and felt guilty for wallowing. “No. I’m sorry. Do you want to go back to the hotel?” Tomorrow she’d summon energy to make this a whirlwind tour of reckless fun.

  “Yes. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry it’s only the two of us.”

  She heard the sincerity that time. “Me too.”

  Nathan tried to draw her into conversation on the walk, but she wasn’t feeling it. She was grateful to tangle her fingers with his, and walk side-by-side in silence. It didn’t do anything for most of her jumbled thoughts, but it cemented that she and he were good together. That helped.

  When they reached their room, their notification emails were out of control. Which was status quo. Unfortunately, so were the massive quantity of hate messages.

  Those would pass. Or diminish in number. Right now, they didn’t help her somber mood.

  IT WAS PAINFULLY EARLY when Nick’s plane landed in Salt Lake. Despite having only been gone a month, flying in over snow-capped mountains felt foreign. This city he’d grown up in wasn’t as welcoming as he’d hoped.

  His anxiousness built as the plane taxied in for a landing. The instant all the wheels were on the ground, he had his phone on.

  Nick had checked in with Parker when he landed at JFK, while going through customs. The doctor kept Fiona overnight, and Parker promised to let Nick know if she was discharged before he got home.

  There was a voicemail waiting from Parker. The terse “Call me when you get in,” wasn’t reassuring.

  He was glad Parker was back though. Maybe Nick should give Wyatt more credit, but he knew Parker. He dialed, and the instant Parker answered, Nick asked. “Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s fine. Fiona will be out of here soon. You on the plane still?”

  “Yeah.” Nick was itching to leave, but it would be a few more minutes before he could consider moving.

  “Meet us at her apartment. There’s no reason for you to come to the hospital. We’re that close to being gone.”

  That was something to be relieved about. “Can I grab you anything on my way there?”

  “We’ve got it covered.”

  “Is that Nick?” Fiona’s voice was faint in the background. “Let me talk to him.”

  Nick smiled and more of his tension evaporated.

  “You didn’t have to come home for me.” Fiona spoke into the phone a second later.

  “Yes I did. You would have done the same.”

  She laughed, sounding like herself. “At least tell me you’ll get other things done by cutting your trip short.”

  “We have an office to replace. And as soon as you’re up for it, we’re going building hunting.” Just like Tara and Nathan would be doing back in Italy. The reminder of them cut deep, and Nick frowned. How did he miss them already?

  “Good point,” Fiona said. “It’ll be good to see you.”

  “Same.” Nick disconnected.

  It took forever to disembark, and just as long to collect his luggage from the carrousel. The airport was a ghost town, except for his flight and a sparse smattering of employees. It was nice. Calm. And a stark contrast to what JFK had been, even in the middle of the night.

  He grabbed a cab outside at the curb, and gave the driver Fiona’s address. Usually she and he dropped off and picked each other up, rather than leaving their cars in long-term parking.

  The sky shifted from dark gray to light as they drove. The clouds were heavy enough that he didn’t see stars, and the night wasn’t completely black.

  Familiarity was sinking in. The freeway he’d driven on for decades. The exits and landmarks he knew without thought. The skyline. The several mile stretch of hotels, warehouses, and empty fields, punctuated by Downtown.

  He let himself into Fiona’s apartment, and a new wave of disorientation washed over him. It was still her place, but it wasn’t. Nothing was out of place, but there was more. Her living room had always been shades of white. Beige and generic.

  Now, sparkles of personality peeked through. In the shot glasses on a shelf by the TV. Photos of her, Parker, and Wyatt dotted the walls.

  She didn’t spend much time here since everyone’s jobs kept them on the road. But Parker called this place home now where he never had. And while Wyatt had kept his condo for the time being, he probably lived here as much as anyone did.

  A month ago, Nick had been furious about the entire idea. Fiona dating two men. Being involved at all with Wyatt.

  Why had it mattered?

  He stashed his luggage in the corner—he’d drop it at home later—and started a pot of coffee.

  Now for more waiting. He checked his email, but didn’t have the focus to reply to anything business-related.

  Nick flipped over to the text exchange he’d had with Tara when he landed at JFK.

  He’d sent her a message that said The eagle has landed. That was fucking corny. Why did he do that?

  Her reply came within seconds. When the eagle is settled, send me photos of the city and the lights. You owe me.

  He’d smiled the first time he read it, and his amusement glowed just as brightly now.

  The front door opened, dragging him from the exchange.

  “—legs work just fine,” Fiona said. “You’re not carrying me into the apartment.” Her irritation was tempered by laughter.

  “It’ll be fun.” Wyatt tried to coax her.

  “Welcome home,” Nick said.

  Three pairs of eyes fell on him, and everyone went silent.

  That wasn’t awkward at all. Only a lot.

  “You made coffee. My hero.” Fiona’s cheer was back. She crossed the room and gave him a one-armed hug, favoring the sling on her other one. She stepped back, brow furrowed, and looked him over. “You’ve changed.”

  Not what he expected, and he wasn’t sure how to interpret it. He nodded at her arm. “So have you.”

  “Did you trip down the stairs trying to avoid a building falling on you?”

  “Technically I got leaked on by a rainstorm.” Nick offered weakly. “Oh, and that explosion at Bella’s during their competition round? I was there for that. I didn’t fall down any stairs though.”

  Fiona paled. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “I was fine and didn’t want to worry you.” There were a lot of things they he didn’t know how he was going to tell her. Some he probably never would.

  “Are they just as fun in person?” Parker joined the conversation. He shook Nick’s hand and clapped him on the shoulder.

  “As much fun as the three of you.”

  Wyatt stayed near the door, expression impassive. “What aren’t you saying?”

  So very much. “We’ve all be home less than five minutes. Catching up takes time. Have you eaten? I’m starved. I’ll make breakfast.”

  “I’ll make breakfast.” Wyatt headed for the kitchen. “You three catch up.” He looked so at home and comfortable here.

  Fiona’s lack of protest, at him doing whatever he wanted, reinforced that Wyatt was as much a part of this place as she and Parker were. So odd.

  Is it really?

  Maybe not as much as he’d made it out to be.

  Fiona sank onto the couch, leaning into Parker.

  Nick sat in the chair next to them.

  “You must be exhausted,” Fiona said.

  He should be after flying all night. Now that he was here... “I’m too wired to sleep. We’ve got so much to talk about. The office—”

  “Will wait. Tell us about your trip. What really happened at Bella’s. Your install was done by then. Why were you there? What’s Milan like? Should we add it to our travel list? I want details.” Fiona’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

  A reply stuck in Nick’s throat. Every thought and memory tied back to Tara and Nathan in some way and he wasn’t ready to share that. He didn’t know what he’d say if he
did get into it. What was he supposed to tell Fiona?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  NATHAN WASN’T SURE what to make of Tara’s mood swings. He understood being upset over, well, everything. But even-keel was her normal state, even when she was struggling.

  It wasn’t as though she’d freaked out. Her terse response when he teased her about Nick was disconcerting. Her excitement to go out, followed by her subdued reaction to being there wasn’t like her.

  When they reached their hotel room, he set his bags aside, took hers from her and did the same, then wrapped his arms around her waist.

  She sank into him with a tired sigh.

  “It feels weird.” He’d never had to filter his thoughts with her before, and this wasn’t the time to start. Besides, this should help.

  The way her body tensed against his, maybe that was a bad call. “What does?” she asked.

  “Not having Nick here. Like, this should be our room. All three of us.”

  Tara relaxed in his embrace. “It does feel weird. Can I tell you something?”

  “Always.”

  “Promise you won’t get mad.” Her uncertainty concerned him. That wasn’t like her either.

  “I promise. You know I’m always here to listen. We tell can tell each other everything.”

  “Can we?”

  The bubble of uneasiness inside grew. “Can’t we?”

  “Don’t turn this back on me.” The edge returned to Tara’s voice.

  This was going downhill quickly. What was he doing wrong? Besides keeping secrets? Besides that. “I’m not. Tell me whatever you need to. I’m listening, and I won’t get upset.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m being snippy, and I don’t mean to be.” Tara scrubbed her face, and dragged in a breath through her fingers. “I don’t know where things were going with Nick, but I liked the direction. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t leave. Sure, he wasn’t supposed to stay here forever, but... you did.”

  And Nathan had never regretted it. “I understand.”

  “You’re not jealous or anything?”

  His answer stalled in his throat. He tugged on the thread and tried to unravel his hesitation. “There’s this insecurity... Usually it’s tiny, and sometimes it’s not so little. It asks if a guy like Nick could replace me. He’s successful, he knows how to fix a leaky roof, and he’s sexy.”

  Tara opened her mouth.

  “There’s more.” Nathan needed to say this, and he might lose the words if he paused. “I don’t know if that feeling will ever go away. I hope it will, but I can’t promise. But that’s on me. I recognize it. Logically I see there’s no reality to it. I know when you say you love me, you mean it as much as I do.”

  She rested her head on his chest. “I really do.”

  He dropped onto the bed and pulled her with him. Within seconds, they’d settled so they both lay on their sides, facing each other. This was better. He could look her in the eye.

  “If you think there’s more there with Nick, if the possibility exists at all, don’t let an ocean and a few countries keep you from figuring it out.” That was easier to say than Nathan expected.

  A tiny smile flitted across Tara’s face. She propped her head up on her arm. “How do you feel about him?”

  That was such a complicated question. “He’s a decent guy. I can see why you like giving him head.”

  “Thanks.” She rolled her eyes, but her smile grew.

  “Real answer, I don’t know. Maybe it’s all physical with him and me, maybe there’s more than friendship, maybe not. But I guarantee if he hurts you, I won’t give him a second chance.”

  “So what aren’t you telling me?”

  Nathan’s mind stalled. “I... nothing? I laid it all out.”

  “Not that.” Tara furrowed her brow. “I had a feeling about all of that, though I like hearing it confirmed. There’s another secret. Something you’re holding back.”

  The truth surged forward, wanting to be told. “What makes you say that?”

  “Years of friendship, and the fact that you didn’t deny it.”

  Best way to do this was to spit it out. Now or never. Waiting longer wasn’t going to make anything better. “I know where that list came from. The one from the website, with Marco’s name on it.”

  Tara laughed, then cut it short. She narrowed her eyes. “Fuck. You’re not joking.”

  Nathan could blame this all on Lenny. The guy made the decision to release the data. Nathan needed to own his part in it all. Tara was listening and sober. He’d been trying to pretend this didn’t exist, and that made a tiny lie into an epic one.

  Tara sat up and crossed her arms. “Your silence isn’t comforting.”

  “Lenny did it.”

  “Lenny... the graphic artist Antonio laid off six months ago? He barely knows how to open Photoshop. He didn’t hack a data... fuck.”

  Nathan could see the edge of the cliff, and something told him he couldn’t stop things from plummeting over. “I wanted to know—d”

  “Say it. I want to hear the words come out of your mouth. Tell me what you had to do with this.”

  “I already told you once.” No. Bad. Wrong. He was making things worse.

  Tara clenched her jaw. “When? When did you tell me?”

  “The night at the bar. When you met the blonde. Arie?”

  “Aria.” She clipped off the name. “You mean the night where I got so drunk I didn’t remember half of what happened?”

  “You told me you were sober enough to listen.” Nathan was making this worse. He sat up and faced Tara.

  “You knew better the next morning.”

  “And then there were interruptions, and for a while it didn’t matter anymore.” He was spouting off all the excuses he’d told himself for the last month, and they all sounded pathetic when he said them.

  Tara stood and paced. She licked her lips and clenched her jaw. But she didn’t look at him. “We live together. Work together. We’re not just roommates or colleagues, we fuck on a regular basis. We’re dating. There wasn’t a single time in the last month where you managed to say Tara, we need to talk?

  He didn’t know how to respond. He was out of excuses, and the truth still lodged in the back of his throat.

  Her laugh was bitter and filled with disbelieve. “You still haven’t said it. The direct and honest version, please. Though, if you cared to toss a why or an I’m sorry in there, I wouldn’t complain.”

  “Lenny was talking shit. This was months ago, before he was fired. I was sick of listening to him because he didn’t know what he was talking about. It had been a long time since I did something big. I told him I could get into anything. He goaded me on. I decided if I was going to do it, I’d at least pick a company whose business model I didn’t agree with.”

  “So you went Batman on a dating website? A bit of vigilante justice to prove you were awesome?”

  That made it sound even dumber than it had been. “No. This was all about my ego. I seduced one of their tech guys to get his login info. I used that to create a backdoor and grab the list. I proved I could do it.”

  “And then you let Lenny do whatever he wanted with the results?” Tara’s tone had gone flat.

  That was bad. He expected Tara pissed off. Tara who was cool and glacial was someone not interested in dealing with him. “He got extra annoying, so I told him I was done, and walked away.”

  Tara’s expression was blank.

  “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I never looked at the data. I didn’t know Marco was in there.”

  Tara’s only movement was the rise and fall of her chest with each breath.

  “I should have looked. It never occurred to me. I knew you and I wouldn’t be on it. Your family wouldn’t be. I kind of hoped my dad would be, but he’s not in their income bracket.”

  Nothing.

  He grasped for more words. “I’ll keep rambling all night if you don’t stop me.”

  TARA STRUGGLED TO PROCESS this information. Na
than hadn’t done this to hurt anyone.

  That didn’t make it a good idea or a victimless crime. Why hadn’t he considered other consequences?

  This had indirectly cost her the tattoo shop.

  It was costing them valuable filming time for the competition.

  It cost thousands in repairs on her home.

  It put her back in the public eye and painted a target on her back for something she didn’t do.

  Technically Nathan wasn’t to blame for any of those things any more than Tara was for Marco’s cheating. People were assholes, and they would have found an excuse with or without Nathan’s involvement.

  But he was completely to blame for keeping his mouth shut. He watched for weeks as bits of their world unraveled. As the stress and backlash chipped away at her confidence.

  He kept his fucking mouth shut, like it didn’t fucking matter. Like the truth was insignificant.

  Just like Marco had.

  Nick would never do something like this.

  She hated herself for the thought. What if that wasn’t true? What if she was destined to fall in with liars and assholes over and over?

  This was one lie.

  But it was a big one. And the truth up front... it might not have changed any of the other events, but it wouldn’t have shattered her ability to trust Nathan.

  He watched her, concern etched on his face. “Say something? Anything? Scream at me. Shout so the whole hotel hears what an inconsiderate idiot I am?”

  And he didn’t realize why she was pissed off. He still thought it was about the fallout.

  “I’m tempted to let you keep talking. You seem to have a lot to say about this for someone who hasn’t said anything over the last few weeks.”

  “I’m so sorry. For grabbing the list. For letting my ego get the best of me. For not vetting it.”

  He still didn’t get it. Was she being unreasonable, expecting him to know she was upset because of the dishonesty? “You should have been sorry a month ago.”

  “I was.” His response was weak.

  “A core part of our relationship is supposed to be trust. Not just the poly parts of it, but all of it. You do remember why I got divorced?”