Love Worth Pursuing

by Max Hudson

  “Figures, he can go out and get drunk but not open the cafe on time,” Mike replied with a groan.

  “I mean, he’s trying. It probably isn’t the smartest thing to get drunk when you have work, but, we’re young...” Steve began, unsure if he was talking just to Mike or to himself.

  “No, it’s my fault. I guess I never gave much thought to that. He seemed so eager to help, I thought he was doing it because he wanted to. I was wrong. Want milk or sugar?”

  Steve shrugged. “Um, black coffee, but with sugar.”

  Mike nodded and handed over the coffee. “I was thinking about myself. Like I said, I was stubborn about it, but when I gave it some thought, I wanted to keep the business going. I felt a kind of duty to it. I suppose he didn’t.”

  “You can be fair to yourself,” Steve said. “You wanted to keep the family business. You worked hard on it yourself, right?”

  “These things aren’t always kept in the family, though,” Mike said. “Things change, times change. Most of the businesses on this street used to be family owned, but they aren’t any more. It still hurts that mine might go the same way.”

  Mike served himself a cup of tea and heaped three teaspoons into it.

  Steve sipped his coffee. “I mean, if you can’t get Euan to keep the business, and you can’t do it either, then there isn’t much you can do.”

  “I wish there was a way, though, I want to keep my legacy,” Mike replied. “Have you tried the foods here?”

  “Mostly the cakes,” Steve said.

  “Then you’re missing out,” Mike said with a grin. “Let me show you.”

  As though he were a wind-up toy someone had just let go, Mike began rushing around the cafe much faster than Steve would have thought possible. Despite being a larger, older man, he was swift on his feet and knew exactly where he needed to go. He gathered a selection of bread rolls, some pastries, and other assorted goods from the shelves.

  Steve watched closely as Mike brought all the items to the counter, where he sliced, buttered, and arranged each item with a practiced precision, forming a platter of various sweet and savory goods.

  “Here, try this,” Mike said as he passed the platter over to Steve. “Free of charge, enjoy.”

  Steve was about to make an excuse, but he realized that actually, he was feeling a lot less sick now he had given his coffee time to settle his stomach. He reached over for a slice of seeded bread which had been generously topped with butter. It was… unique. The bread itself felt so light, but the texture was strong when he bit into it. The flavors were nutty and earthy, and the butter smoothed them out perfectly. There were hints of various spices. Which, Steve couldn’t tell, but he knew this was a carefully calculated and perfected recipe.

  “That’s good,” he said.

  “Keep going,” Mike insisted, beaming with pride.

  As Steve sampled everything, feeling compelled to finish some items, he began to see why it was that Mike wanted to keep the cafe open. With such unique, delicious items, at one time it had no doubt been a popular place for a snack or a quick breakfast. Whatever had happened, the cafe was clearly not as frequented any more. But sometimes people couldn’t let go of these things, even when it was clear that the glory days were over.

  “And all this is your own recipes?” Steve asked.

  Mike shook his head. “Sort of. All of these recipes are important to me. Some were passed down the family for generations, we don’t even know when they started, only when they were finally recorded. Some were my own grandfather’s, and my mother’s, and mine. We all worked here, innovating, experimenting...” He sighed heavily. “This cafe is the end result of centuries of Roberts, all putting a little part of themselves into it. I don’t want it to be lost. It’s not like society has progressed beyond the need for good breads, either. It just seems to be that what we are doing isn’t getting attention anymore.”

  Steve understood where Mike was coming from. These recipes, these breads, cakes and sweets, they were unique. They had their own special something that needed to be passed down to someone, and enjoyed. But if nobody visited the cafe, then nobody would be enjoying them either way.

  “You could pass it on to an apprentice,” Steve suggested. “Maybe someone younger, with a bit of experience with modern cafes and shops, so they can help you keep it alive.”

  “I’m a bit old for that now. I don’t have the time. I wasted so much of it trying to convince Euan to stay, and now I just can’t replace him.”

  Steve nodded. “I understand.” There wasn’t much of a solution for Mike, or for the cafe, it seemed. He drank half the rest of his coffee, feeling a little bit ill, realizing he might have overestimated how much better he felt after the first coffee.

  “And if I sell the business, or pass it on, it feels like I am losing control,” Mike admitted. “They could change recipes. Or get rid of my ones. They could turn this place into their own business. I don’t want that either.”

  “That could happen eventually anyway,” Steve said. “Euan could have done that. Or if he had kids they could have. Someone else could have sold it. You can’t make something stay the same forever.”

  “You’re right,” Mike said, seeming almost surprised. “I suppose I was being a bit sentimental. But if this place could disappear, then where does that leave all my work?”

  “I couldn’t imagine losing all my life’s work,” Steve said. “I almost did earlier. My phone was stolen, and I couldn’t access so many accounts. I guess that I’m almost glad I lost my bank details and not my writing.”

  “Robbed?” Mike asked, sounding shocked. “Wait, was Euan involved?”

  “It’s probably best you talk to him about it, not me,” Steve replied. “But kind of. Wait, have you considered writing a recipe book?” Steve asked.

  Mike furrowed his brow and stirred his tea with a spoon. “I’ll have to talk to Euan about this. Is that how he hurt his hand?”

  Steve sighed. “I don’t think it’s something for me to tell you about.”

  Mike pursed his lips and sipped his tea. He was clearly the sort of parent who wanted to know about these things as soon as possible, and was upset that Euan hadn’t told him. Steve still felt it wasn’t his place to talk about them on Euan’s behalf.

  “What was it you were saying about a book?” Mike asked, looking up a bit. His face looked so tired, now Steve noticed. Worn out beyond the wrinkles he had, showing how hard the last few years must have hit him.

  “Well, um… I thought maybe you could make a recipe book. To preserve the recipes better,” Steve said. “I know I’m a writer, and when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail, but writing really seems like the solution too.”

  “You think it would work?” Mike asked.

  Steve shrugged. “Well, it would mean the recipes are all saved in one place. Maybe even with notes about where they came from and what they meant to you. It can’t not work. The only question is whether the book gets popular.”

  “But what if the book gets lost to time too? I mean, who would read it?” Mike said, seeming suddenly dejected again.

  “Everything could be lost to time,” Steve replied.

  “Why does your generation have to be so pessimistic?” Mike asked with a laugh. “I guess you’re right, though. Best I can do is keep trying.”

  “I’ll see if I can hook you up with a publisher too. I can’t promise anything, but I can try.”

  “You would do that for me?” Mike asked.

  “Well, I guess it’s for Euan too. And your whole family. It just feels like the right thing to do,” Steve replied.

  Mike smiled widely. “You’re an alright kid, Steve.”

  “I try,” Steve replied. “So, do you want me to help you work out a book plan?”

  Mike hesitated. “Sure thing, we can start, at least.”

  Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if it would help. He was not a big name, he just had a few contacts. But food books, especially traditional re
cipe books, sold pretty well. There was a possibility that it would be popular. The recipes spoke for themselves too.

  And it gave him a chance to take his mind off the shopping list of personal problems he couldn’t do anything about.

  Chapter Eleven

  After working on a few ideas with Mike, Steve was told he had to get back home. Which was fine. But with nobody to keep the cafe open, Steve headed back to his room at the B&B.

  It felt empty. A bit surreal. All these things were happening around him, and he had almost no ability to do anything about them. It was just a case of waiting for things to change. He didn’t want to stay still. He was itching to go and do something. But without his phone, he couldn’t leave his computer. And he couldn’t get another phone until he got news back from Alex.

  Steve paced around the room, put on a movie, tried to get interested in anything. Nothing worked.

  Hearing an email ping, he nearly leaped out of his skin to check it.

  It wasn’t from Alex about how things were going, but an email from his bank assured him that the account was being reviewed and that no purchases had been made that day. It was good news, of course. But not actionable news. Not news that helped him get out of the room.

  Hearing a knock at the door, Steve glanced around, realizing that nobody had come to clean the room yet. He felt a bit embarrassed about the mud on the bed from where they had slept in their clothes, so he pulled the covers to the floor so they could be washed.

  “Come in,” Steve said.

  “You got to let me in,” Euan replied from behind the door.

  Steve felt his heart leap a little. He felt a little less lonely and purposeless all of a sudden. “Sure, wait,” he said, making his way over and unlocking the door.

  Euan had washed and changed. He was wearing a distressed band t-shirt for some band Steve had never heard of before, some sweatpants, and a pair of well-worn trainers. His hair was still damp from the shower, his wavy hair clustered into almost solid curls. A bit of a change from the cleaner, still casual look he sported about town or at work. He seemed comfortable, but somehow more human. Less of an Adonis, and more of a boy next door.

  “You look cute today,” Steve said, stepping to one side to let Euan in.

  Euan laughed. “I look like I’ve had a shower,” he said. “Sorry about that. I really needed to cool off. I was being a bit of a brat.”

  “No, you… you have your feelings. We all do,” Steve reassured Euan.

  “So do you. I’m sorry I made you sit through that. I just… I didn’t want to be alone. I’m tired of those arguments,” Euan explained. “I figured if someone was watching he would shut up and listen to me for once.”

  “Was it any better?” Steve asked.

  Euan shrugged. “Not much, I don’t think. What was he like when I left? I shouldn’t have just walked out and left you with him.”

  “It was… Not gonna lie, it was awkward,” Steve said. “But he seems to be getting the idea.”

  “Really?” Euan asked.

  Steve nodded, sitting down on the bed. He patted the space next to him and Euan sat down next to him.

  “What did he say?” Euan asked.

  Steve paused, trying to put his thoughts together. “He knows that you don’t want to do this. He just didn’t know how else to keep the family legacy alive.”

  “So, he’s going to keep bothering me until I give up and get back to the business?” Euan asked.

  “Well, I actually suggested that he should make a cookbook,” Steve replied. “He sounded like he was into it. I’m going to try and get him connected with a publisher, maybe, so he can focus on that instead of, well, on you.”

  “You did that for me?” Euan asked, seeming shocked. “I guess you sort of meant it when you said you loved me last night.”

  Steve felt his cheeks growing hot. He averted his gaze. “I- I don’t know if I did that.”

  “You did. And you know you did,” Euan replied bluntly.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I was too drunk, saying dumb things…”

  Euan was silent. For a moment, Steve knew he was overstepping all his boundaries. He was there for work, he was only there for a few weeks, and Euan was a friend and a fling, not something he could expect to build into a relationship. The shame ran deep, and he wished he could sink into the floor, into the ground, and disappear.

  Then, Euan wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders, leaned in, and kissed Steve on the cheek. “We have chemistry,” he said before planting another kiss.

  Steve laughed nervously. “Yeah, but it can’t work.”

  “Why not?” Euan asked. “We can try.”

  Steve turned to look Euan in the eye. “You really think so?”

  “I know we can. Trying is the bare minimum, right? We can try.” Euan leaned in and pressed his lips to Steve’s briefly. “Do you want to try?”

  Steve sighed. “I do,” he whispered, leaning in for a deeper kiss, relishing the feeling of surrender.

  They collapsed onto the bed, lips locked, arms and legs tangling as each tried to draw himself closer against the other’s body. Steve rubbed his hands over Euan’s back, feeling how firm and yet soft it was, how each muscle moved lightly beneath the surface, how the heat was building up under Euan’s clothes. Euan slipped his hands inside Steve’s shirt, stroking his chest slowly. As his fingertips brushed over Steve’s nipple, Steve gasped into the kiss and gripped Euan’s back harder, feeling the skin follow his fingers slightly.

  Euan bit Steve’s lip lightly and held it, sucking softly, letting it slide from his teeth. Steve leaned in and pressed his tongue into Euan’s mouth. Euan seemed surprised at first, then pressed his own tongue against Steve’s lightly.

  Steve parted the kiss, pulling back a little to look into Euan’s grey eyes, pupils dilated wide. Euan’s hands roamed around and down Steve’s back, reaching his ass and squeezing gently. Steve moaned and snaked one hand around to feel Euan’s buttocks in return, enjoying the feeling of Euan’s body through the soft fabric of his sweatpants. Each soon had a thigh between the other’s legs, gently grinding in anticipation as Steve nibbled along Euan’s lower lip.

  Euan was moaning beautifully now. Last time he had been fairly silent, but today the anticipation seemed stronger, his movements hungrier. Every little thing Steve was doing brought forth more and more moans and gasps. Steve climbed on top of Euan, straddling his hips and helping Euan take off his shirt.

  Steve remembered how Euan had complained about not being slimmer, but, looking down, Steve would not have him any other way. Strong, a bit of fat covering hard muscles, and lightly hairy all over, Euan was the most beautiful thing Steve could even imagine. Steve leaned down and planted kisses over Euan’s chest, at first just brushing his lips, then kissing harder, licking, leaving little hickeys all over…

  The noises Euan was making were beautiful. Deep, sultry moans, gasps, and, whenever Steve paused, a faint whimper of disappointment. Euan ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, pushing Steve back down, encouraging him to kiss and lick more. In response, Steve bit down on Euan’s skin softly and held there. Euan seemed to like that. Steve moved a little and bit again, a bit harder. Euan moaned gently, stroking Steve’s hair as Steve continued to kiss and bite him.

  Steve reached the edge of Euan’s sweatpants. He could already see how hard Euan was underneath the soft fabric, and when he brushed his hand over Euan’s erection, Euan moaned deeply and squirmed on the bed.

  “Hurry up,” Euan said, panting. “You’re killing me here.”

  Steve laughed and took his hand away, instead planting a kiss on Euan’s stomach.

  Euan sat upright and leaned in, moving so fast Steve didn’t have time to react. Euan’s strong hand gently pushed Steve’s head up. “You’re being very naughty,” Euan said, his voice soft, low, and stern.

  Steve felt a shiver run up his spine. “Yes,” he replied, already feeling goosebumps covering his skin. “Maybe you need to convince me.”<
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  Euan slipped his hands under Steve’s arms and, like he weighed nothing at all, lifted Steve up and into his lap, spinning around before lifting Steve again and putting him down in the middle of the bed. “Is this convincing you?” he asked, straddling Steve’s chest. He moved up a bit more, until he was at the top of Steve’s chest, almost on his shoulders.

  Steve could tell Euan wasn’t putting all his body weight into it. And yet Steve was already trapped. He laughed a little, somewhat nervous, somewhat excited. Peering down, he could see that from that position, Euan’s cock, forming a tent inside his sweatpants, was brushing underneath Steve’s chin. Steve tilted his head down and extended his tongue, gently licking the tip of Euan’s cock through his clothes.

  Euan breathed a heavy sigh, grinning. “Glad we’re back on the same page,” he said, rising onto his knees a bit more. Tucking his thumb into the elastic of his sweatpants, Euan pulled them down over his cock. It sprung free, bobbing a little, barely out of reach.

  As Euan lowered himself back down, Steve opened his mouth, extending his tongue so the end of Euan’s cock came to rest on it. Euan moaned. Steve closed his lips gently, letting them caress the tip, keeping his tongue out. With a yearning groan, Euan reached down and wrapped his hand around his own cock, pumping it gently, tapping it on Steve’s tongue, leaning forward to get the whole head inside Steve’s lips. Steve licked slowly, then opened his mouth, inviting Euan in.

  Shifting his body weight forward, Euan slid into Steve’s mouth slowly, relishing every second, moaning softly. Feeling his hands freed, Steve reached up and held Euan’s thighs, guiding his movements.

  Just as he felt Euan fucking his face harder and harder, making Steve anticipate Euan’s eruption into his mouth, Euan stopped. Euan shivered a little, it was taking some obvious effort to pull out.

  “So… do you want to carry on like this? Or do you want me to fuck your brains out?” Euan asked.

  Steve, panting for air, didn’t even need to think about it. “Fuck me,” he said.

  Euan smiled and climbed off Steve, grabbing Steve’s arm and flipping him around. He gently brushed his cock against Steve’s cheeks, moaning. “You got lube around here?”