Love Worth Pursuing

by Max Hudson

  ***

  As Euan finished up, he seemed refreshed, happy. Steve felt a little hurt. It was as though Euan had finally got through it all and recovered. Euan was ready to go and to end all of this, at least end what they had right now, and move into the next stage of his life.

  Steve wasn’t ready for that at all.

  “Ready to go out, have some drinks, a proper goodbye?” Euan asked.

  Steve couldn’t answer. He knew he ought to be the mature party here. He knew they were in different places in life, even with only a few years between them. And yet he couldn’t shake the feeling of how unfair this all was.

  “I wish we didn’t have to,” Steve said. “And I know it makes me sound like a kid, but I guess I’m not quite ready to get over this yet.”

  “Neither am I,” Euan replied. “But I want something nice to remember you by when we have to go our own ways.”

  Steve nodded. “I understand.”

  “We can still have fun,” Euan insisted. “Even if just for tonight, okay?”

  “I’ll try,” Steve replied.

  Euan wrapped his arms around Steve, pulling Steve in close, and kissed him hard. Steve kissed back, relishing Euan’s soft lips, wanting to remember that feeling forever. Or at least until the next kiss.

  Euan pulled back and sighed. “I love you, and I do want to be with you,” he insisted. “Don’t confuse my passion for my degree with disinterest in you.” He leaned in, pressing his lips to Steve’s cheek. “I can love many things at once.”

  “I hope so, I’m way cooler than any degree, though,” Steve said.

  “Yes, you are,” Euan replied before kissing Steve again, softer this time.

  “One last night out, right?” Steve asked. “I suppose I’ll need to find another cafe to do my writing in tomorrow.”

  “Yeah. Just don’t go and fall for some member of staff there and forget me, alright?” Euan said.

  Steve shook his head. “I’ll do my very best not to.”

  They laughed. Euan slipped his hand into Steve’s and led Steve out of the cafe door for what would be the last time.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Steve stepped out of the hotel, having already put his bags in his room, and looked up and down the street. York was pretty different from how he remembered Aberystwyth. Then again, it had been a year since Aber.

  The buildings, the streets, the very atmosphere felt unique. He had been itching to get back to the UK for a while now. He hadn’t had any jobs that took him there. He had considered just having a holiday trip, but never got around to it. Between work, family, and just not having the money, a whole year had passed before Steve could return. Euan had finished the last year of his degree. Steve now had a couple of dozen jobs under his belt, and all of them had gone by without a hitch. He felt confident in his position, a new man, almost.

  Somehow, their relationship was doing well, even long distance, even with their lives being so busy.

  Euan had met Steve’s father through video chats over the holidays. Steve had finally met Euan’s mother the same way. They talked almost every single day, about everything they were doing, learning, thinking. It was like a fairly ordinary relationship path, if it weren’t for the distance between them. Even virtual sex had lost its awkwardness after the first few times.

  If anything, meeting in person again had more potential for awkwardness than most of this year.

  Steve knew it was Euan. The same Euan he had met a year prior, the same Euan he was dating, the same Euan he video called regularly. It felt different, though. They had both changed so much, they had both gotten to know one another on so many more levels, that it felt like they were meeting for the first time again.

  And, the cherry on top: Steve hadn’t actually warned Euan of his trip.

  In part it was because Steve was almost certain it would be jinxed if he mentioned it. Every time he had tried to make a holiday trip to see Euan, something had come up to get in the way, and he wasn’t prepared to build up Euan’s hopes just to shatter them again.

  In part, it was to see the look on Euan’s face when they could embrace for the first time in a year.

  He sent a message to Euan. “Guess who’s in York?”

  And then he waited.

  It took Euan ten minutes to see the message. And as soon as it was marked “seen”, Euan called Steve back.

  “You are kidding, right?” Euan asked from the other end of the phone, his excitement clear in his voice.

  “Nope, I got a job here,” Steve said.

  “You should have told me! Where are you?” Euan replied, sounding like a kid who’d just got a puppy.

  “I’m at the top of the high street,” Steve replied.

  “Wait, I’m nearby. Like, only halfway down the street. I’ll come find you,” Euan said, hanging up immediately.

  Steve laughed and began to walk down the street, feeling his heart beating hard in his chest. He couldn’t wait.

  And then, through the crowds of shoppers, Steve spied Euan, walking towards him. They made eye contact and Euan grinned, his whole face lighting up, his steps a little faster.

  Steve had known Euan changed a bit. After all, through video chats, Steve had seen Euan on a nearly daily basis for the entire year. But it was still pretty impressive to see him in person again. Although he hadn’t lost any weight, he had gained so much muscle that his chest and shoulders seemed broader than should be possible. And, at Steve’s request, Euan had let his facial hair grow out into a manicured short beard. They both loved the look of it, and Steve had waited far too long to touch it and feel it brush his face.

  Euan leaped into Steve’s arms and they kissed, wrapping their arms tight around one another and pushing their lips hard against each other, as if they wanted to blend together and never be separated again.

  Separating with a gasp for air, they laughed at how excited they had been. “I have been waiting for that for far too long,” Steve said, running his hands through Euan’s thick hair and down to his beard.

  “I’ve been waiting for more than this,” Euan said with a wink.

  “Same,” Steve replied. “I love you.”

  “I love you,” Euan whispered back, leaning down and gently kissing Steve’s lips.

  “Pretty rude of you to get so ripped,” Steve remarked.

  Euan laughed. “I guess I did broaden out a bit.”

  “If you grow any more than you won’t just be able to pick me up, you’ll be able to throw me, like, a mile down the street,” Steve said.

  “Maybe I can throw you into the pool later, see how far you go,” Euan replied, motioning a flight trajectory with his hand. “You should have told me you were coming, I could have set you up somewhere.”

  “Cause it’s for work, they want to set me up somewhere specific,” Steve said.

  “You best not spend this entire visit working,” Euan replied. “And when you see the flat, you’re gonna regret not staying there.”

  “The flat?”

  “I had a surprise up my sleeve too,” Euan said with a grin. “Getting my own place, like, properly mine. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  ***

  The flat was pretty good. One bedroom and one box room, a large living room with a small kitchen and bathroom. Definitely a place for one person or a couple, but more than enough for Euan.

  It was also looking pretty bare.

  “Where’s all the furniture?” Steve asked as they sat down together on the sofa.

  “I said we’ve only just got it, so I’m still moving things in. I want to get some new furniture, but I want to work out all the other money business before I get a load of expensive stuff,” Euan explained.

  “Who’s ‘we’? Are you asking me to move in already?” Steve asked with a coy smile.

  Euan laughed a little. “Well, I wouldn’t be against it, but no, I mean as in I’m having a bit of help sorting this out. My dad is using the new money to help me buy this place,” Euan said. “It feels
pretty weird to have my own place, but I don’t know, I think I want to stay in York a while longer. I’m gonna graduate, and then I want to go for a Master’s. So, it made sense to get a place here.”

  “It does,” Steve agreed. “You’re gonna finally get a pet, then?” he asked, remembering how badly Euan had wanted a dog for the last year.

  Euan gasped. “Oh my god, yes. I want a rescue puppy. Or an older dog maybe. I don’t know, I think I’ll just go in and meet my doggy best friend.”

  “So, your plans for the summer are ‘buy furniture’ and ‘get a dog’?” Steve asked. “Sounds like fun. I wish I were getting a house and a dog.”

  “What are your plans, then?” Euan asked. “Besides showering me with all the attention I have been starving for.”

  “Just write-ups on a few towns in England,” Steve said. “I’ll be here for about five months, but moving around a lot too. Maybe two months in London, from what I’ve been told.”

  Euan’s face fell a bit. “But I want you to stay with me,” he said with a fake whine.

  “Well, on that… I was wondering if, until you get back to the university, you could travel with me for a while. Put the apartment up for short term rentals, maybe?” Steve asked. “I’d like a travel buddy. I hadn’t counted on you having an apartment to set up, but I’m sure we can work it all in.”

  Euan leaned in and kissed Steve softly. “I would love to do that. Maybe it will give me some more ideas to focus on for my Master’s.”

  “So, we’re both going to be working, huh?” Steve asked, resting an arm across Euan’s shoulders.

  “Yep,” Euan replied.

  Working had taken on a different meaning during their time apart. Being separated, their conversations had centered around their passions, and each had grown to love the other’s interests. They were a team.

  “We pair well,” Euan said, as though reading Steve’s mind. “Art and culture, history and travel, I focus on the people in the past and you focus on the people of tomorrow.”

  “Maybe one of these days we will both be able to live together somehow,” Steve said. “Then we can sit around talking about our obsessions and putting off work all day.”

  Euan laughed. “I’d like that.”

  “Someday,” Steve assured Euan.

  “Tell you what, when this is over, I’ll pause my studies. Or try and pursue another degree that lets me travel around a lot more,” Euan said. “That’s a promise.”

  “Is it now?” Steve asked, leaning in to steal a kiss. “I will hold you to that.”

  “If you promise that you will take me to every interesting place you go. I know you can’t decide where you will be sent, but if it’s cool, I get to join in. No sneaking away and seeing some amazing art hub without me, okay?” Euan insisted.

  “I promise,” Steve said. He leaned and rested his head on Euan’s shoulder. “I kind of like you being bigger, to be fair. You’re like my personal giant plushie.”

  “And you’re my cuddly little teddy,” Euan replied, picking Steve up and into his lap.

  “This is good,” Steve said. “Sorry it took me so long to come back.”

  “Nah, as long as you’re happy,” Euan said, leaning in for another kiss.