Shaved Ape Key

by Jerry Boyd

  Scotti said, “Let’s hear your idea, Boss.”

  I said, “I’m thinking she had you make a copy of that Baby Browning of hers, and probably a couple of knives as well. One of them a smaller-handled version of that Cold Steel push dagger she has.”

  Scotti said, “Give that man a cee-gar! Care to guess the other knife?”

  I said, “I don’t think I want to press my luck.”

  “Better that way. Mrs. Sloan said it was a custom job. Something called an open-L, concealed inside something called a lipstick case?”

  I replied, “I can picture that, sounds like Dee all the way. I’m curious, how light did the pistol come out, being made out of hull metal, and all?”

  Scotti thought a minute, and asked, “In ounces, I suppose?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Four point eight, unloaded.”

  I said, “Nice work.”

  Scotti said, “I could have lost another ounce, but Mrs. Sloan was afraid the recoil would be too sharp, if the pistol was that light.”

  I replied, “Janet is a new shooter. We wouldn’t want her developing a nasty flinch.”

  Nikki walked up. “You about ready to get back to resting and relaxing, Captain?”

  I replied, “I ought to check in with Sally while I’m aboard, don’t you think?”

  “I suppose. We need to go forward anyway, if I’m going to fly us back in your Gig.”

  Scotti said, “Fly safe, Boss.”

  I replied, “You too, Scotti.”

  I whistled, made the head ‘em up sign over my head, and pointed to the transit. Diego and Bill came, too. Diego asked, “Did you need us, Boss?”

  I said, “I suppose I need to know a couple of things, while we’re in the neighborhood. Diego, was Max able to arrange to have your Grandma transferred to Shady Oaks?”

  “Mrs. Sloan told me she arrived yesterday. She also said they had to stick her in the autodoc for a few hours, to get her stabilized. She’s scheduled to be evacuated to Shaved Ape Key in a month or so. What’s a ‘pig flight’, Boss?”

  I replied, “The Squatch think having a few feral hogs around to hunt would be fun. I like bacon, so everybody wins. We’re flying them some ferals out, asleep for the trip, of course.”

  Diego said, “I think Grandma will want to have words with her travel agent.”

  I said, “At least she’ll be alive to cuss us.”

  Diego replied, “I like the way you think, Boss.”

  I turned to Bill and asked, “What about your niece and nephew? Are you going to be able to get them peaceably, or do we need to do a raid?”

  Bill looked crestfallen. “I’ve been talking to Sally and Andre. They looked at the place the kids are staying on the sensors. At this range, they can’t be sure about numbers, but it looks like the Government has the place staked out, waiting for somebody to try and get the kids.”

  I said, “Send my wife the location, we’ll go by and get some better scans on the way back. We got Fred out of a situation nearly that bad, don’t give up yet.”

  Bill’s eyes got big. “Sir, you’d be taking a huge risk. I can’t ask you to do that.”

  I looked around. “Ask any of these folks, we’ve done at least as much for people we didn’t even know. You’re crew, they’re your people, end of discussion. We’ll get them out.”

  Bill looked like he was going to say something else, but Diego cut him off. “The Captain has spoken. He wouldn’t offer if he didn’t think he could get it done. Calm down and help the crew plan this rescue, or I can slap you around, and then you can calm down.”

  Bill looked at Diego like he had seen a snake, but he chilled out. We all got into the transit. I asked Gene, “Gene, could you page Sally, Andre, and Pete to my ready room?”

  Gene said, “On it, Boss.”

  I said, “Could you add Scotti to that, too. She is de facto Air Boss.”

  Gene said, “Right away, Sir.”

  We walked into the ready room with Sally, Andre, and Pete already there. Topper had apparently invited himself. Scotti’s transit car opened as soon as ours moved out of the way, and she followed us in. Gene asked, “Does the lodge need to be tiled, Boss?”

  I said, “Not for this, I don’t think. Team, I have received a personal challenge. I’m asking you to help me succeed in it. Bill, here, doesn’t think we can safely retrieve his niece and nephew without exposing ourselves to the American government. I would like you all to help me in demonstrating just how wrong he is.”

  Dingus said, “I like the way you put that, Bob. It’s all Bill’s fault, from here on in.”

  I said, “Sally, I’m told you have some scans of this place?”

  She put them up on the main screen. Dingus said, “Well, now. That’s even more folks than they had trying to catch us when we got Fred back.”

  I asked, “How wide a spread can we get out of one of those stunners in the ships, and still be sure we’re knocking everybody out?”

  Nikki said, “Not that wide, Caveman. It would take at least three passes to get them all.”

  Dingus said, “We don’t want to do it that way. It would give them an opportunity to get spooked and send a message for help. We don’t know how much time we’ll need to extract the kids. We don’t want to give them the chance to get other folks involved before we get away.”

  Bill spoke up. “How about a flight of four, in a loose formation, all turning the stunners on at the same time?”

  Scotti said, “We could do that. I’ve got ship-sized stunners on some of the fighters. They could do a low-level pass, and then stick around for high cover.”

  I asked, “Can we be sure the kids we’re after are actually there?”

  Sally replied, “We have readings that show two younger and two older humans in the house, but we don’t have a way to determine their identities.”

  Bill asked, “Is this a live feed? Can we track cellphone signals?”

  Scotti looked at him like he took a dump in the passageway. She said, “Yes, It’s live. I think I could have tracked one of your cellphone signals before the Captain woke me up, much less now.”

  Bill looked chastised. I asked, “Not meaning to be obtuse, but how are we getting a live feed with this kind of detail?”

  Scotti said, “That ship I fixed up for Taz and Willum looked like fun. I built a spare.”

  Dingus said, “They’re holding position over the target area?”

  Sally said, “Yes, but they’re high enough to go unnoticed, even if their stealth failed.”

  Max spoke up. “Bill, were you thinking of calling someone, to see if this is the place we need to raid?”

  Bill replied, “I was. Could you help me get through to them?”

  Max just smiled. Bill had so much to learn. Max took his comm, fiddling with it for a bit, and handed it back, saying, “Just enter the number you want to call.” Bill did so and put the phone on speaker.

  A girl answered, “Hello?”

  Bill said, “Nelly, is that you? It’s your Uncle Bill.”

  “Who are you? They told us Uncle Bill died.”

  Bill replied, “They told you wrong, Sweetheart, and I’ve got the pistachio ice cream to prove it.”

  I noticed Pete was off computing something. I didn’t know what was up, but I figured I would find out soon enough. The girl on the phone said, “Pistachio! That’s my favorite. When are you coming to see us, Uncle Bill?”

  Bill looked crestfallen, but he didn’t let it show in his voice. “I don’t know when I can get there, Honey, but I’m thinking about you all the time. Take care of your brother.”

  “I will. Bye Uncle Bill.”

  “Bye, bye, Sweetheart.”

  Sally said, “That call connected in the house we’re watching.”

  Pete said, “It was put through a voice changer. That wasn’t the person on the other end’s actual voice.”

  Bill said, “They flunked all the ID checks, too. Whoever answered that phone wasn’t my niec
e.”

  Sally said, “It was one of the smaller humans in the house, however.”

  Dingus said, “Well, Bob, they’ve set you a big, fine trap. What do you figure to do now?”

  I replied, “I’m thinking we should disappoint them. Anybody have any ideas how to find the kids, since they don’t appear to be the bait in the trap?”

  Scotti asked, “Do you have any more phone numbers we could try, Bill?”

  Bill replied, “Not except for her brother’s phone, and I’m sure it’s down there as well. Calling it would alert them that we know there is something hinky going on.”

  Nikki asked, “Are you keeping track of all the calls going in and out of that stakeout?”

  Sally replied, “Yes, Ma’am. What are you thinking?”

  Nikki continued, “I’m thinking that the team down there would have reported Bill’s call to their bosses, as soon as he got off the phone, and there is at least a chance that the kids would be with those bosses.”

  Sally replied, “Got it. I’m moving the surveillance to the location that received the call.” The screen blanked out for a minute, and then came back on, showing a building in an industrial park.

  Nikki said, “I’m tracing the owners of the building. U. S. Logistics, it says here. Funny, I can’t find any web presence for a company of that name.”

  Sally said, “They have something in the roof of that place that is keeping us from getting a good scan of the occupants. How would you like to proceed, Boss?”

  I said, “Give me one pass, low speed, low enough altitude to see through the walls. Will that roof stop a stunner?”

  Sally answered, “I don’t know, Boss. I don’t think you should depend on a stunner getting through it.” We waited for the new scan. Sally reported, “The walls are just as tough to see through, Boss. The ship is returning to altitude.”

  Diego asked, “What do you think, Boss? Faraday cage?”

  I replied, “So it would seem. I’m not willing to storm that place without some idea of what’s inside. Anybody have any ideas? Pete, speak up, this is why you’re here. I need some sneaky right about now.”

  Pete said, “Well, Boss, the other place was a trap. This place we can’t see into. To me, that could mean a couple of things. Either they do have those children in there, and it’s fortified like you wouldn’t believe, or this is a decoy, meant to draw us in, so that they can swoop down on us from the surrounding buildings, and hopefully catch us trying to free the kids.”

  Sally said, “On it, Boss.” She put up scans of the surrounding buildings. She said, “Oh, my! There are a lot of people in those buildings, do you suppose we’ve found human traffickers?”

  Dingus asked, “Human traffickers who have a third of their people on watch, a third resting, and a third asleep?”

  I said, “Oh, goody! Another trap. Now the question is, are the kids here, or are they at yet a third location?”

  Diego asked, “Could you give us more detail right here?”, as he pointed to the display. Sally zoomed it in. We saw several helicopters, just inside the roll-up doors. Diego said, “It looks like these fellows are a quick reaction force for some other location.”

  Sally said, “Boss, I think I might have something.” She put the house we started at back on the display. “I didn’t pay any attention to this before, I just thought it was a sensor fault or something.” She zoomed on a fuzzy spot in the basement. “I think this is another one of those, what did you call them, Faraday cages.”

  I said, “Bring the ship back over this house, and have them keep a close watch on that area. We need to know about anyone going there, and what time they do.”

  Bill asked, “You think they’re in there, don’t you?”

  I replied, “I do. If they are, they will have to be fed regularly, and taken out to deal with necessities, unless there is a bathroom inside that area. Sally, do we have enough coverage of the phone network to know if the call to that shielded building was relayed to another location?”

  “No, but it would be trivial to hack into the records and see.”

  I said, “Be careful not to leave a trail, and proceed.”

  Sally mused, “Ooh, clever organics. The call looped back to the first location.”

  I said, “That supports our theory of only two sites. I’m going to lay out what I think we know so far. Please speak up, if you think any of my deduces are wild. The Space Force have taken over the house, in hopes that we will come bursting in, and between the folks in the surrounding houses, and the quick reaction people at the industrial park, they can overwhelm us, and get some shiny Galactic tech. They’ve hidden the people we actually want to rescue in that Faraday cage in the basement, in the hopes we will try to rescue the decoys they have so conveniently provided. Failing that, they hoped to trap us in that caged warehouse, hoping we wouldn’t be able to call for help. Did I miss anything?”

  Diego said, “I think that sums it up, Boss. What’s the plan?”

  I replied, “It seems likely to me that they’ve committed all their readily available resources in these two locations. If we stun everyone there at the same time, we should be able to get in and out without too much drama.”

  Pete spoke up. “If you use freighters for the stunner run over the house, we Marines could exit out the rear of them while they were overflying the place. We have a drive setup for soft landings. We could be in the door before people stopped falling over, almost. If we clear the house, Bill can go straight to where his people are being held and keep them calm as we extract them.”

  Max spoke up. “Bob, I think it would be best, if you waited to pull this raid until you were ready to leave. You’re going to stir up a hornet’s nest. It would be better if we could keep operations to a minimum for a while after that.”

  Nikki said, “Aw, c’mon, Dad. Don’t you want to borrow my car to keep them stirred up with?”

  Max looked like he had bitten an unripe persimmon. “No, thank you. You go flying around the wild stars, but I’m going to stay here and keep things going for as long as I can.”

  I said, “Thanks for that, Max. You’re right, we should wait till we’re ready to get out of Dodge before we pull this. It’ll give Sally more time to be sure of what we’ll be facing, anyway. Are we settled on a plan, then?”

  No one raised any objections. I wasn’t crazy about it, but it seemed to be as good as we were going to do, given the circumstances. I asked, “Sally, is there anything else you need to tell me about before we head back to Earth?”

  “Yes, but...”

  I said, “Pete, you’re excused. Diego and Bill, head down to launch bay two, and make sure my Gig is ready to fly. Sally, do you have any objection to Topper staying?”

  “No, Boss. What about the others?”

  I replied, “You have extracted an oath from Mr. Sloan that he considers binding. Mrs. Wilson has resigned from the Guide, and no longer has any obligations to them. The other Mr. Sloan never achieved officer rank, and therefore is not obligated either. Sufficient?”

  Sally said, “Yes, Boss. Entirely so.” When the door closed behind Bill, Sally said, “Tile the lodge, Gene.”

  Gene replied, “Aye, Ma’am.”

  Sally said, “We have received another download from our team. This one has more variation, and we’ve been able to make some progress, we think.”

  Nikki said, “How much progress?”

  Sally replied, “We have a vocabulary of about a hundred words we’re fairly sure of.”

  I asked, “Could you say, for example, ‘Have a nice day’?”

  Sally said, “I think so, Boss.”

  I asked, “Would you please make a recording of that, and send it to my watch?”

  “Sure, Boss.”

  Nikki asked, “What are you up to, Caveman?”

  I replied, “I thought I might as well see how Joshua would react to it.”

  Max asked, “Your old neighbor? Why him?”

  I said, “Janet says he has an ac
cent as if he learned English from a teaching machine, a long time ago. He doesn’t seem Galactic, to me.”

  Sally said, “The team also told me that they intend to make one more attempt at gathering intel, and then they are heading back to Charlie’s planet. They expect to be there in about a week, give or take.”

  I replied, “Well, then, we have a goal for when we need to be back. Wouldn’t want them to get home with no one to talk to. Is that all we need to go over?”

  Max asked, “I hate to bring it up, since you’ve already put so much effort into the planning, but are we sure these kids want to come with their Uncle Bill?”

  I said, “No, we are not. You’re in charge of figuring that out. Use John’s friend who isn’t there, or whoever else you see fit. I’ve heard tell your daughter is a competent hacker, when she takes the time to cover her tracks.”

  Nikki gave me a look that made me think I would pay for that one, sooner or later. Gene said, “Boss, you have an incoming comm from Mr. Branham. Should I put it through?”

  “Please.”

  “Hi, Bob. We were thinking it would be nice to get together for supper at our place. Will all the people you absconded with be back in time for that?”

  I replied, “We’re just about ready to head back. We filled the bank account, planned some new mayhem, I can’t think of anything else we needed to do today.”

  John said, “I would ask, but I think I’m better off not knowing.”

  I said, “You’ll know, soon enough. You have an important part to play.”

  John said, “Oh, goody. Patching up rescued prisoners, while evading pursuit. My favorite.”

  I said, “I’m ever so glad to hear it. It’s going to be quite the party. They’ve prepared a wonderful reception for us.”

  “Better than the to-do they threw for the barrel maker?”

  I said, “Quite a bit. Should be lots of fun.”

  John said, “Bob, I would suggest therapy, but I don’t know any shrinks I hate that much.”

  “See you at supper, then.”

  “Bye, Bob.”

  I turned to the room and said, “Okay, folks, John is making supper. We wouldn’t want to be late for that, would we?”