Dereck abruptly slides his chair back and leaves the table. I guess he can’t see past what he witnessed the other night. He can’t see that my well-being has been far down my list of priorities for many years now.
Faith’s attempt at a smile is labored. “I will talk to him.” She follows an angry Dereck.
His fury is not helping me. Now I’m sitting alone, confused. I need stability and support. I need the Wise Ones. I made them go rest, and now I’m about to beg them to return. I reach for my cell, but it’s gone. Hostile Dereck must have taken it. I glance around, searching for the landline, then dial my way to sanctuary. “Hello?”
I can barely talk. “Jolene, have you slept at all?”
She cautiously but quickly answers, “Yes. Woke up an hour ago.”
“’Kay. Will you come to me, then?”
“We’ll be right there.”
I grip the phone with sweaty palms and whisper, “I—I want to run.”
“I don’t blame you.” She begins to cry. “Just wait for me, and we’ll run together.”
When Josh and Jolene walk into the back living room, they observe Dereck pacing in front of me as I sit on the couch, watching a madness overtake him.
Faith, standing by in the kitchen, is also studying her son. When she hears them, she turns to Josh. “I can’t get through to him that this is a process.”
Dereck quickly turns to see who his mom is talking to. “Oh, thank God! You’re here. Serenity wants to go home!” He points at me. “Can you please talk some sense into her?”
Not meeting Dereck’s glare, I get up and rush straight into Jolene’s open arms.
Josh watches me then says to Dereck, “Apparently you’re the one who needs a talkin’ to.”
“What? Why me?”
“Brother, I told you to get a backbone, not become an asshole.”
Shielding me, Jolene says, “Take it outside.”
“No!” Dereck snaps.
In a flash, Josh grabs Dereck’s arm—not so gently—while coaching him to the front door.
Dereck attempts to yank his arm free. “Get off me.”
It doesn’t work. Josh grits his teeth as he gives a firm, throttling shake before shoving Dereck forward. “Get the fuck out that door!”
Dereck stomps outside. “This is bullshit!”
Josh follows, hot on his heels. “Boy, you are testing me, and that will be your last—” The door slams, and the yelling fades as they march into the front yard.
Jolene guides me to the couch. Faith sits with us as I huddle against Jolene. “I’m making him crazy.”
“First of all,” Jolene says with a chuckle, “that’s what we do. Drive men mad!” We all giggle, and it somehow feels wonderful. Like a breath of fresh air. “Second of all, this is not normal seventeen-year-old, high school drama. This is the real deal, and it’s happening to someone that Dereck absolutely adores. I’m not trying to excuse this behavior—trust me, Josh is on it—but I want you to know Dereck is trying to catch up, too. You guys are exhausted and have had only twenty-four hours to process all this.”
Faith leans in and kisses my shoulder. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
Dereck is much calmer as he and Josh come back inside. I don’t know what Josh has said to him, but Dereck is walking to me with a brighter light yet heavy shoulders. “Mom,” he says, “may I have your seat? I don’t dare ask Jolene to move in fear of disrespecting her.”
Faith leaves my side so her son can sit next to me while Jolene confirms, “Wasn’t appreciated.”
Even though Jolene claims to understand his actions, she stands her ground regarding what’s right and what’s wrong. I think I should try to make Dereck feel better because he looks miserable, but maybe she’s right. Maybe, by not allowing rude behavior to be accepted, it stops future mishaps?
“Joles—”
She raises her palms to stop Dereck as she rises from the couch and stands next to Faith. She points at me. “Make it up to me by takin’ care of my girl.”
The couch sinks as he takes her place, facing me. Dereck exhales, looking down, so I reach for his chin. His eyes are still stormy, but his kindness has returned. “There you are. I missed you.”
“Serenity, I feel crazy inside, but I don’t want to make this worse for you.”
He is making it harder by being so aggressive. I look at Jolene and decide not to lie, and I put Dereck’s needs first. “I’m sorry my world has sucked you in, but it’s my reality right now. I’m fighting this nutty life, and when you get like this… I feel like I’m fighting it alone. I need Dereck—the real Dereck.”
Faith kisses Jolene’s cheek as Dereck nods then leans his face to my neck to hide. That’s okay. I spoke, and he heard me.
Understanding his shame, I wrap my arms around him. “I love you.”
Josh is sitting in the chair across from me, staring. His elbows are on his knees, and he’s propping his head on his fists. He’s obviously preparing to talk to me, so I nod. His fists unravel to cover his mouth as he inhales, deeply. He then rubs his hands together as if trying to release stress. “I need you to fight this urge to rescue your mom.” Propping his chin on his fists again, he says, “I know it’s eating you up, but I really need to know you’re safe.”
“I’m trying, Josh, but what we’re all ignoring is the fact that I’m a minor, and my dad will want me home. The—” Still holding Dereck to my neck, I look directly into Josh’s eyes. “My father’s confusion will make me go home.”
Josh sits up straight as his face pales. “Confusion,” he whispers. He looks up at Faith and Jolene, who are staring at him with silent questions. Josh shakes his head, leaning forward to give me his full attention again. “Serenity, this morning we went to the courthouse. Faith’s lawyers were able to get a temporary custody order for you. And a restraining order… against your dad. No more confusion.”
Dereck squeezes me. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Dereck?” I pull back, wanting to see his face.
“I had to. You were hurt and so upset—”
“That is why my mom has been calling all morning?”
“The restraining order is only against your dad.”
“Confusion.” Josh is deep in thought, not listening to us. Then quickly he looks at me. “You have to stay near Dereck!”
Then he has to be honest with me! “What does temporary custody mean?”
Dereck cautiously releases me. “It means that you have a choice now. Legally, neither your dad nor your mom can force you to go home.”
I plop back against the couch. Choice? What a beautiful word. “What about my mom?”
Josh is now begging Jolene. “Serenity has to stay with Dereck.”
Looking perplexed but not asking questions, Jolene rushes to me. She sits and grasps my face with fright. She has always tried to let me make my own decisions, so from the look of her trembling hands, I sense the gravity of everyone’s fears. Jolene’s eyes water. “I’m afraid… if you go back to help her… I will never see you again. Do you understand?”
The true danger I am in really starts to sink in. With my chest constricted, I cry and nod in her palms. “Yes, I understand.” I sniffle. “Okay, Jolene, I’ll stay.”
She pulls me to her, rattled with worry. “Thank you. Thank you, Serenity.”
I hear all their sighs. They have hope now.
Money is the next big discussion. Dereck wants to pay for everything, but that’s not happening. I insist I will get a job, but fast-talking Faith has me convinced that keeping an I-owe-you list would be sufficient and that I can pay them back when I am older. Something is telling me I have been suckered. The way the Wise Ones grin has me suspecting Dereck will never accept my money.
I’m very used to
chores and helping out, so that’s not an issue, but school is. I’m no longer zoned for my school, but I refuse to leave my Skyler. As much as I would love to see Dereck in action in his school hallways, I’m staying at my old high school. Faith says she can work it out.
The guest room farthest from Dereck’s—which he voted against—is now my room. It’s bright with white lace curtains and the faintest purple walls. It reminds me of the flower field with the cloaked one. It is perfect. I look at boxes and familiar bags, then eye Dereck.
He shrugs. “Had everyone grab some stuff for you.”
“Never planned on me leaving?”
He shakes his head.
I inhale. “I, uh, have a journal—”
He reaches into an old backpack of mine. “When Sky pulled it out from your closet flooring, the Wise Ones were a little surprised. Wanna tell me about it?”
“Did you read it?”
“No.”
“Some other day, okay?”
“Fair enough.”
Just then, his cell vibrates. Dereck pulls it from his pocket, reads it, laughs, and hands it over. “I think this is for you.” He pulls my cell from his other pocket and places it on the dresser.
His screen reads: Hey, control freak! Put her on this damn phone!
I smile while typing: It’s me. I miss u
Do u need me to kick him in the shin? ‘Cause I will
Nah, all is good. Whatcha doing?
Exposin’ Tower to chick flicks
And?
Hates ‘em
Love u
Love u ‘nite
Dereck quietly helps me unpack the leftover boxes that the Crew loaded up from my dad’s garage. I guess no one wants me to stay at my home. With a handful of T-shirts, he points at the dresser Faith has emptied for me. “In a drawer or do you prefer them hanging in the closet?”
Looking at my worn clothing, I feel sorry for this rich guy dating me. “Drawer is fine.”
When the unpacking is complete in under thirty minutes, I realize that my mom hasn’t bothered buying me new clothes since I stopped growing… three years ago. Dereck brings in my birthday gifts—the pair of boots, T-shirt, and my gift card. And I lose it! They know!
“Aw, Baby Doll, come ’ere.” Dereck pulls my sobbing body to him. “We don’t care about that stuff.”
“How clueless am I about how I look?”
“You’re beautiful. I don’t care about your clothes.”
“I don’t belong with you! You need an Alex.”
He gathers my chin and lifts it abruptly. “Don’t ever let me hear you sound so materialistic again. Not your style. And that’s why I love you.” He grins. “Besides, your holey jeans look vintage”—he rolls his eyes—“if that’s the right girly word I’m looking for—and they give me much-wanted peeks of your beautiful legs.”
I cry harder. “Why am I just now seeing what my parents aren’t giving me?”
He inhales deeply, still holding my chin. “Because you’re finally on the outside looking in.”
I can’t explain the emotions I’m experiencing, learning my mom has become even worse than I first thought. Yet there’s still this nagging responsibility—a feeling I need to call her, to help her. “If I know these things about her, why do I still care, Dereck? I mean, will she forgive me for leaving? Will she survive this? Will someone help her? Is there help for her?”
“Maybe this is partly my fault for trying to stop you from talking to her. Wanna call her now? Check on her?”
I nod, waterworks dripping down my cheeks.
He reaches to my dresser, picks up my cell, and powers it up. “I’m sorry to have interfered.”
I take the phone and sit on the bed, staring at it, afraid.
“Do you want some privacy?”
I’m scared to hear her drunk in front of anyone. Never done it before. “I think so.”
“I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Dereck leaves my room. My room. It sounds odd but… good? The part of me that’s not worried about my mom loves it here. Everything feels so clean, fresh.
I finally muster up the courage to call her. When she answers “Hello?” I know she’s not drunk.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Serenity! Why haven’t you answered your phone?”
Her tone is one I’ve never heard before. Mean. She may sometimes be a drunk, but she’s never mean, not like this.
“I-I’m sorry—”
“Courts? What are you thinking?”
“I—”
“You need to come home!”
“They-I-ah… feel that it’s not safe—”
“What? Not safe? That makes no sense. Come home, and we’ll talk about it.”
Talk? My mom never wants to talk. “No. I’m sorry, but I’m staying here for a while.”
“Staying at your boyfriend’s? Like some harlot? Ridiculous!”
“No, it’s not like that. I have my own room—”
“I’m done with your games. Come home.”
“Games— What? I… Mom… I’m scared—”
“Scared? Stop overreacting.”
My ears are ringing so hard I can’t hear her anymore. My head is buzzing till one voice stabs through my shocked fog. “Serenity.”
My body instantly goes rigid, my heart pounding in my throat. I knew Father would ignore the law. In fear of making him even angrier than he already sounds, I force my mouth open. “H-Hi, Daddy.”
“Come home.” Father’s voice is shaky with rage.
“I… I can’t—”
“I’m on my way. Be ready.” The phone goes dead.
Dereck slowly appears in my doorway. The sight of him and his beautiful, kind green eyes reminds me of all I have to lose. My heart breaks. I have to say goodbye to Dereck Hamilton, my dream. As if my life is coming to an end, I utter, “I’m going back to hell.”
I don’t know if it’s my dead tone or the hopelessness in my words, but Dereck’s posture straightens from worry to guarded. “You what?”
My eyes close for a moment while I gather strength. “He’s coming. I must pack.”
Dereck hurriedly pulls his phone from his jean pocket. “The hell you do. Serenity, you have rights, and I am going to fight your war till you’re ready.” Then he says into the phone, “Yes, I need the police. I have someone breaking a restraining order…”
It’s like being in another world—in someone else’s life—as Dereck talks to the police. Shock. I feel as though I’m slipping into shock until warm arms embrace me. Big brown eyes gaze at me with sympathy and a deep understanding. Faith. I melt into her. “What do I do?”
She whispers, “Refuse to give up.”
Dereck’s voice is still in the background as I ask, “Did you fly down from heaven?”
“No, you sweet girl. I just believe kids come first. It was a promise we parents made.”
“My mom broke that promise to me.”
“I know. But maybe in time, she can mend that break.”
To deny other forces are involved, dark forces, is impossible for me when officers merely meet Father halfway to Dereck’s and give him only a “friendly” reminder of the restraining order. Father claims he was not on his way to me, and my mom lied when asked whether Father had been home during the phone call. Dereck is beyond agitated that my dad is not back in jail. I guess he will battle my dad in other ways. Father goes to his hotel room without further incident—except for what he’s done to my heart.
My name is Serenity Dowell; I am seventeen years and three days old. I have a restraining order against my daddy. I wish this on no one.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Trying to Heal
My white dress flows behind me as I
walk down the stairs, once again with water at my feet and my mother screaming. I try to speak—to tell her I’m coming—but my voice is gone. Without hesitation and because of my confusing love for her, I step into the cold water. Someone grabs my foot from below and begins pulling me under. I frantically cling to the stair railing, but whoever has hold is too strong. My hands are ripped free, and I’m completely submerged. Father is trying to drown me again—
Sitting in my bed, gasping, I grab at my chest, begging myself to breathe the air that truly exists, not the nightmare’s water. My room is dark and quiet. The whole house is silent—Faith and Dereck are sleeping, too. I feel around the blankets covering my legs to make sure the hand is gone. All I find is a wet bed—I’ve sweated through everything. My clock says two a.m. The lonely hour makes me feel so bare. I know what I want—Dereck.
I put on fresh PJs and sneak down the hall. The rules I promised Faith I would follow—separate beds—are already being broken. It’s wrong, but I can’t stop myself. Dereck has become my security blanket. I open his door, step in, and quietly shut it. I turn to face his bed and gasp.
Dereck is standing right in front of me, whispering, “Whatcha doing?” with a smirk.
“I, uh, see—”
“Wanna snuggle?”
He sounds so happy to see me, I don’t have the heart to tell him about my nightmare. “Will your mom kill me?”
“She won’t know.” He grabs my hand and leads me to his bed.
Boys will be boys, I guess. Halfway to his bed, I hesitate. “I need—”
Dereck stares at me, smiling. “You need?”
“To be with you.”
Dereck’s smile disappears. His chest begins to rise and fall heavily. He hungrily picks me up, and I quickly wrap my legs around him. I inhale deeply, knowing my anxiety will soon subside. Dereck lays us down with him on top of me. “Are you sure?”
“Very. I don’t know why, but it made me feel so much better the other night. I’m looking for that peace in my heart again. Relief, Dereck. I need relief.”
Serenity (Forever Book 1) Page 27