Never Trust a Rockstar

by Sarah Darlington

  “Just be nice. Please.”

  “Which one do you like again? The lead singer or the guitarist?”

  “The lead singer—Caleb.”

  Luce sighed. “I can’t believe you broke up with Nick for this... fling. Your mom is going to be heartbroken.”

  Luce opened her door and left me. A tear slipped down my cheek, but I quickly brushed it away. I know Luce was struggling just as much as I was with everything going on in our lives. I just hated when she took out all her pain on me. Maybe she needed to get laid just as badly.

  I laughed to myself and opened my door.

  Caleb had already left the Hummer and was shaking Luce’s hand in the gas station parking lot. I didn’t want to leave him alone with her for even a moment.

  “So my friend John lives not far from here,” Luce told Caleb. I came up to stand beside them. “I already called him, and he said we all could crash at his place. His place is nice. You and your brothers won’t be disappointed.”

  Did Caleb hear the bitterness in Luce’s voice? Because how could anyone miss it? If so, he didn’t react to it. He was always so good at that—at brushing off thinly veiled insults.

  “That’s nice of your friend.” Caleb shrugged. “Let’s do it.”

  “Fine. I’m driving.” Luce walked over to the driver’s side of the Hummer and rapped her knuckles on the window until Luke got out of the car.

  “You’re not on the rental agreement. I should drive,” he tried to tell her.

  Luce only ignored him and claimed his spot as driver. She slammed the door behind her.

  “Just go with it,” Caleb told him.

  Under the blinking yellow lights, Luke rolled his eyes and then got in the backseat.

  A second alone—and Caleb hugged me. The moment only lasted a fraction of a minute, but it was a hug unlike any we’d shared before. His arms engulfed me. His face nestled against my neck. His lips lingered against my skin. I hugged him back equally, allowing my hands to brush over his back. Through the thin layer of his shirt, I could feel all the hard lines promised underneath. Caleb appeared thin, but underneath he was lean and strong, and for the first time I wondered what he looked like without his shirt on. Without any clothes on. My breathing changed. My heart... it started beating these deep, long, wild pulses.

  He broke away a second later, much to my disappointment, and we both got in the car. Me to the front seat. Him to the back, squashed against Ollie.

  ***

  John Michaels, Sydney’s older brother, terrified the crap out of me. I’d only seen him around town a handful of times. He owned a tattoo shop, the one where Sydney worked, and he was covered in ink. And jewelry. He was ten years older than Sydney, and I’d heard stories of how much he used to hate Rhett in the beginning of their relationship. Everybody loved Rhett. But maybe it was different when Rhett dated your younger sister. Sydney always spoke very highly of him, so I tried my best not to judge a book by its cover.

  Apparently—same goes for Dani.

  A topless John answered the front door to his massive house. His inked skin was on display and it made Dani squeal in surprise beside me.

  John stared at her. At all of us.

  “Sorry,” Dani quickly apologized. “I expected some frat-boy type in boat shoes to answer the door. I mean, judging by the exterior of the house.”

  John continued to glare.

  “I’m Dani Mills.” She reached out her hand, nudging Ollie aside to shake his. “These are my cousins. Luke, Caleb, and Ollie. Thanks for letting us crash here tonight.”

  John took her hand.

  “Your house is fucking awesome,” Dani added. “Can we come in?”

  “Sure.” John dropped her hand and stepped aside.

  “It’s different than other rentals you see around here.”

  “That’s because it’s about fifty years older. It was one of the first big houses in Corella. My grandfather designed it himself.”

  We all walked inside the house. I’d never been here. I knew it had belonged to John and Sydney’s grandfather, and when he died, he left it to John. The decor wasn’t what you’d expect from a beach house. It was all dark colors, mid-century design, full of unique pieces.

  “So my bedroom is on the very top level,” John explained with his arms crossed over the sea monster in the middle of his chest. “Don’t go up there. Sydney’s old room is the one with all the black and white artwork. Luce can sleep in that room. Don’t go in the garage. The cars are antiques. Otherwise, help yourselves. Luce can show you around. Goodnight.”

  That was it. The end of his hospitality. He left us and started marching up the stairs.

  “Why do I feel like I’m in a horror movie?” Ollie stated once John was out of earshot.

  “Because you probably are,” Dani muttered.

  “Guys. This is perfect,” Caleb said to them. “It’s either this or sleeping in the Hummer at the gas station. The gas station was the horror movie.”

  “If you say so,” Ollie added in a snide voice. “Is the fridge off limits?” he asked Luce, his voice much kinder for her, rubbing his hands together. “I’m starving.”

  “No. I’m sure John won’t mind. He would have mentioned it.”

  “Can you show me where it is?”

  “I guess.”

  Ollie and Luce left for the kitchen.

  Luke started up the grand staircase.

  Only Dani, Caleb, and I were left in the hallway. “How well do you know John?” Dani asked.

  “Uh. Not very well at all. But he’s Sydney’s brother, so I’m sure he’s fine,” I explained. “Why do you ask?”

  “Well, to be on the safe side, even if he is your friend’s brother, you better sleep in Caleb’s bed tonight. You know, so he can protect you. Just in case we are in a horror movie.”

  Caleb laughed out loud. The sound filled the halls and echoed off the walls. It shocked me for a moment because other than when we watched Weekend at Bernie’s, I don’t think I’d ever heard him laugh so hard. “Thanks Dani. Thanks.”

  “No problem. I’m just saying.” Dani started up the stairs.

  “What about you?” I called after her.

  “Oh. I sleep with a knife under my pillow. I’m good.”

  Okay then. She was a badass.

  “Goodnight, Dani,” Caleb said. He moved a little closer to me once she was gone and added, “she only said that to get you in my bed. You can sleep wherever you want. I mean, in my bed. Or not in my bed. You know, whichever. I wouldn’t mind you in bed with me, obviously.”

  I stared up at his eyes as he stared down at me. He wanted a decision from me.

  It was an easy one.

  “Let me say goodnight to Luce, and I’ll meet you upstairs,” I whispered.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yes.” I bit down on the corner of my bottom lip, hoping a little ounce of pain might calm my growing nerves, because I could see how much he wanted me in his bed.

  Caleb moved to touch me. And I froze solid.

  With his thumb, he gently freed my lip from its small constraint. I could barely breathe normal breaths. Not dropping his touch, he softly ran the pad of his digit over the curve of my flesh.

  He stopped moving his hand and bent to touch his lips to mine.

  It was a slow, soft, teaser of what a kiss with him might be like. The dictionary kiss—just lips to lips in the lightest of touches. But I felt that small second of bliss...

  In my toes. In my core. In the swirling in my head.

  He pulled back. “That still didn’t count,” he said right away. “I only lost control for a moment. Go tell Luce goodnight. I’ll be upstairs.”

  I stood there buzzing, my heartbeat thumping in my ears and my skin dancing with electricity, as he disappeared up the steps.

  This night was going to be interesting.

  ~ CHAPTER 32 ~

  CALEB

  Fuuuuccccckkk! I had no self-control. I said I wouldn’t kiss her. I promised myself I
wouldn’t kiss her. Not tonight. I needed her to trust me first and she didn’t, simple as that. But when she said she’d sleep in my bed...oh God...and the way her teeth had sank into her bottom lip. I’d lost control of my body. I physically hadn’t been able to stop my lips from moving to hers. It had been one hell of an almost-kiss.

  And right now...

  I sat on the edge of some strange bed, in some random bedroom, battling what would probably be a permanent bulge in my pants tonight. Having Emma in my bed was going to be torture. The sweetest kind.

  I know my family.

  I know each of them would have rather spent the night sleeping in the Hummer, freezing their asses off, risking possibly being murdered at that spooky gas station, than coming and staying at this stranger’s house. But once again they’d all complied to help me.

  I should probably fuck Emma. Be done with it. Get it out of my system. Get her out of my system. So my family could leave this town. So we could finish our postponed tour. Hopefully redeem some good grace with our fans in the process. So I could stop torturing myself.

  But I had this overwhelming feeling that sex with Emma wouldn’t end this. It wouldn’t lessen anything, but instead magnify it. I could quit her and make it easier for everyone else. But it wouldn’t make anything easier for me. And a girl like Emma...if I wanted to be with her like that, I had to be slow with her. I’d have to exhibit self-restraint tonight. I’d have to prove to her that she could trust me.

  So bring on the torture, sweet Emma. Bring it on.

  I was already half asleep, under the covers, still in my jeans and shirt, when she finally entered the room. She said nothing and went straight for the on-suite connecting bathroom.

  I laid there, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above me, as I listened to the water running in the bathroom. Finally, she came back to the room.

  She’d washed the layer of makeup from her face. I sat up in bed to better see her clear skin. I loved the freckles. Why did I find them so damn sexy? Because staring across the room at her, right this moment, I’d never seen anything as beautiful in all my life.

  “I can’t wear this sweater to bed. It’s itchy.”

  “Then take it off,” I said flat out. No hint of sarcasm. Whose voice was that? My own? “And the jeans. They aren’t very comfortable to sleep in either,” I added, dead serious. “You should take them off too.”

  She laughed.

  She thought I was joking. I wasn’t. It took her moment to realize I meant it.

  “Oh,” she breathed, “okay.”

  Surprising me, complying completely, she tugged off that damn fluffy sweater. It was not my favorite, anyway. She dropped it on the wood floor. I’d seen her naked chest before, but seeing her now in her bra drove me equally as wild. Then she inched her jeans down over the curve of her hips. Was I trying to give myself a heart attack? Maybe. Maybe.

  It was cold in this huge, lonely house. In this strange room with floral wallpaper everywhere. I could see the chill-bumps on her skin, and I noticed her shivering. I flung open the covers so she could crawl into the warm bed next to me. She did. And I pulled those covers back over us both, lying beside her.

  “You have all your clothes on,” she muttered. “Jeans aren’t very comfortable to sleep in. You know?” She used my own words against me.

  “I’m not taking them off.”

  “Okay.” There was confusion in her voice, disappointment even.

  We lay still, side by side, staring at the ceiling fan. Don’t touch her. Don’t kiss her. The light was still on. But I was frozen to the sheets. If I moved an inch, I know I’d move toward her.

  A full minute passed where nothing happened. “You confuse me, Caleb. I can’t figure you out,” Emma muttered.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “You almost seem innocent. Innocent like me. But I know you’re not.”

  I felt her roll onto her side to face my direction. But I made myself keep staring at the spinning blades above.

  “I’m not innocent. Not even close,” I confessed. But she already knew that.

  “Have you been with more than one woman at a time before?” She was calm and dead serious as she asked this.

  “Yes.”

  “More than two?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you done drugs?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like the hardcore kind?” She was so innocent herself; I don’t think she even knew any ‘hardcore’ kinds to name.

  “Yes. I avoid those situations now. I don’t like that version of myself.”

  She breathed out slowly. “I guess that’s my confusion. I don’t know that version of you at all.”

  I caught my breath. “I don’t want you to know him.”

  Giving in, I turned on my side to look at her. Her pale blue eyes made my chest feel like it was cracked wide open. She was so genuine, it made me physically ache. I wanted to protect her. From anything negative this world had to offer. Including me.

  “I can be really insecure,” I told her. I’d never told anyone that. “I don’t know where it comes from. Maybe being the middle child. I was never as smart as Luke. Or as naturally charismatic as Ollie. I wasn’t born to be a lead singer. Sometimes I feel like I just happen to be good at it. It still scares the hell out of me every time I step on stage in front of a huge crowd. I still doubt every word I write. I still get rattled by every mean review or comment I read about myself or my music. And I know when I’m in bed with women, it isn’t me they’re really with. It’s the version of myself people see when I’m on stage.”

  I closed my eyes, terrified of what she might think of me now. When Dani told me to use the Rockstar side of myself to win her over, I’d tried to do that. But this, telling her all this, was me shedding that skin completely.

  I was average on the inside. She had to recognize that.

  I felt the soft touch of her hand on my face, and I opened my eyes. She ran her hand over the stubble that I’d been letting return to my face. She moved closer to me under the covers, curling her soft body into my side. Her silky legs brushed against my jeans. Then, still holding my face, she moved to press her lips to my own. My heart went wild. Her kiss was brief like the two others we’d shared before this one. “I know, that still doesn’t count,” she whispered. Then she buried her face into my chest.

  I held my breath.

  “Alexa,” she spoke, in a regular voice, muffled against me. “Turn off the light.”

  I hadn’t noticed a smart device in the room. I guess she had. “Okay,” said the Alexa device and the room went dark.

  Exhaling, I wrapped my arms around her. I wasn’t about to let her go. Not ever.

  ~ CHAPTER 33 ~

  EMMA

  Waking up in Caleb’s arms might have been the nicest thing on earth. Only, I woke up to Luce’s shrill voice and an empty bed instead.

  “Let’s go,” Luce said, flipping on the light. “John has to work and he’s driving us back to the gas station. He’s leaving right now. He won’t wait.” She tossed my jeans at me from the floor.

  They landed on my face.

  Groaning, I sat up and started shimmying into them. She tossed my sweater at me next. I’d half hoped she and Ollie... or she and Luke... whomever... would have hit it off. Maybe if she got a little action she would lighten up. From her attitude today, it seemed that was not the case.

  “Where are your shoes?”

  “Downstairs.”

  I followed her out of the room, through the maze of a hallway, and downstairs. Seriously, where was Caleb? Luce had her arms crossed over her chest, about as tight as possible, as if being here was the worst thing ever. The house was still and quiet. Did Caleb and his family leave already?

  No. Because after I had on my shoes and we stepped outside, where John sat on the wooden steps of the front deck waiting for us, I saw the Hummer. It hadn’t moved.

  “Have you seen Caleb?” I asked John.

  “I don’t k
now who is who. But one of the guys is on the beach.”

  It was quite a hike over the dunes to the shore. I didn’t want to miss saying goodbye. Not after last night. Not after the things he told me. I couldn’t get the feel of him out of my head. The roughness of his beard against my hands. The strength of his arms wrapped around me. The vulnerability I’d felt radiating off of him in waves. His smell, his smile, his body—I wanted him like I’d never wanted anything else.

  “I gotta go,” John said standing. “I have an appointment with a regular early today.”

  Crap. What was Caleb doing? I wanted to wait on him. But I also needed to get home. Luce and I left Mom all alone last night with only Pop there to take care of her. He was a good caretaker in the day, but if we left him alone too long, I knew how strenuous it could be on him. Knowing I’d worry if we stayed any longer, I got in the car with John and Luce.

  I sent Caleb a text.

  Me: I had to go. I’m sorry.

  We started driving, and I stared out the window, lost in my thoughts. Most of them on Caleb still.

  “You like this guy.”

  I took a deep breath. “I know what you’re going to say. That you don’t approve.” I was growing defensive of Caleb. Luce didn’t even know him, and she was so against him. “That I was stupid for leaving Nick.”

  From the front seat, Luce looked at me over her shoulder. “I do think it was a stupid move leaving Nick.”

  “One night with Caleb was all it took.” I shrugged. “One night and I felt more of a connection with him than I ever did with Nick in the entire eight months we were together. That says something, don’t you think?”

  “That’s usually what happens when you lose your virginity.”

  My mouth dropped open. We weren’t alone. John was driving. He pretended like he hadn’t heard. “I wasn’t talking about last night,” I clarified. “I meant the night of the gala. When Caleb was only my friend.” I went back to staring out my window. I wanted to go back to him, pretty damn desperately now.