Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  There is no one like Logan.

  Lifting my head, but keeping my arms locked around her, I capture her gaze. “Tell me about you, Logan. Tell me about your family.”

  She seems surprised by my request. I want it all; I want to know everything about her.

  “Um, okay. My parents live in Cincinnati with my younger brother, Jase. He just graduated from high school and is going to Ohio State in the fall on a full-ride football scholarship.”

  “OSU is a great school, good football program. Your parents must be proud, both of their kids are successful,” I say.

  This causes a slight blush to cover her cheeks. “Yeah, they’ve always been really supportive of us. What about you? Siblings?”

  “No, just me and my parents. I must have been a hellion and scared them away from having more.” I laugh. This is a long running joke with my dad and me. “They’ve been married for thirty years. Mom had some issues, not sure what, and I was it for them.”

  “Yeah, my parents have been married for twenty-five years last month, which was nice. I got to see them right before when they came in for graduation. As you know, Hawaii was my graduation present,” she reminds me.

  Her family is only five hours away, but still that could be an issue for her. Her earlier phone call flashes through my mind. “What made you decide to stay in Tennessee?”

  “I love it here, and Stacy’s here. She and I have become really close. We’ve been roommates since our freshman year. I applied for jobs at home and here. Mr. Jones just happened to call first.”

  I don’t like the sound of that. Like working for me was her only option . . . until now apparently. “You think you’ll ever move back to Ohio?”

  She shrugs and averts her gaze over my shoulder. Fuck! “I don’t know. I’ve not really given it too much thought.”

  Adjusting my grip, pulling her closer to my chest, I stare into her eyes. “What if there was something here worth staying for?” I ask.

  “Anything is possible,” she answers vaguely. “What about you? Born and raised here, right? Why not move to LA or New York?”

  “I hate being followed everywhere I go, the hustle and bustle. I love living outside of Nashville, the peace and quiet. I like being able to walk down the street and not be mobbed by paparazzi. I get noticed here, not as much, but the fans here are just different, more down-to-earth. It’s hard to explain.”

  “Would you ever consider moving?” she asks.

  Would I? “Yes, for the right reasons.” I would, for example, if she had to move back to Ohio to be near her family; I would follow her.

  If the guys could hear me now.

  “What is this, Kacen? What are we doing?”

  There it is, the question I’ve been waiting all day for her to ask me. “I want you, Logan. I want us. You’re all I think about. I can’t fight it anymore. Hell, I don’t want to. I know you work for me, but we can make this happen. I can hire someone else so we can be together, but, honestly, I don’t want to. You kick ass at keeping us in line and there is no rule book that says we cannot be together, even though you also work for me, for the band.” I lay it all out for her.

  “What does that mean? You want me?”

  I smile. “That, sweetheart, means I want you to be my girl. I want to touch you and kiss you anytime I want. I want you in my bed at night, even if it’s just to sleep. I want there to be an us, you and me. I’m all in.”

  Her breath hitches at my admission. I lean in and softly place my lips against hers. “Say you want this. Tell me you feel this connection between us.”

  “Kacen, yes, of course I feel it. It’s there pulsing, reminding me every day how my body responds to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. I work for you.”

  “Don’t care.” I kiss her cheek. “We can do this. We can have it all.” I kiss her other cheek.

  “What happens when you decide you’re done with me? What then? I’m left without you and without a job. I can’t do that. I’m sorry.” She removes her legs from around my waist and her hands from around my neck. I don’t stop her. I want to. Fuck, do I want to. I want to grab her and kiss the hell out of her until she admits we can do this. I don’t. It’s too much, too soon. I’ve come to terms with this. She needs time. I’ll be here, waiting for her to catch up. She’s worth the wait.

  Logan climbs out of the pool and starts to get dried off. Knowing she needs a little time, I swim a few laps, trying to give my cock time to deflate. Holding her like that has me hard as steel.

  I finish my laps and climb out. Logan is sitting on her lounge chair, sunglasses on, reading her Kindle. I run the towel through my hair, but don’t bother with my body. Instead, I lay the towel down on the lounger and opt to let the sun dry me.

  We sit in silence for so long I eventually drift off to sleep. I wake up to Logan standing over me, shaking my shoulder, trying to wake me up. “We’ve been out here for a while now, and it looks like rain. Let’s go inside. I’ll make us some lunch.”

  Because I would follow her anywhere, I stand, grab her hand and hold tight as we walk back to the house. I thought she would try to pull away, but she doesn’t. I know she’s fighting her feelings, so I will continue to show her she’s what I want.

  Instead of letting her make us lunch, I help her. I make us both a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato while Logan cuts up some watermelon. She takes a seat at the island and I slide in next to her. “So it’s supposed to start raining. What do you say we spend the rest of the day watching movies?” I suggest.

  Glancing at me, she raises her eyebrow. “What kind of movies?” she asks.

  “I’m up for anything, you choose.”

  “Really, you’re just going to let me pick? What if I pick a chick flick?” she questions.

  “I’ll watch every minute of it. I just want to spend time with you.”

  “Kacen—”

  “Stop, I heard what you said earlier. I just don’t agree. I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this could go. I know you need time to think about it. I’ll give you all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

  “So what, you’re just going to hold out for me? Not dating other people?” she asks.

  My hand caresses her cheek. “Baby, you’re all I see. There has been no one since you, and there will be no one after.”

  “You’re awful confident.”

  “Yes. I know how I feel, what I want. I fight for what I want. Waiting is not really my thing, but I can wait for you. I will wait for you to catch up to where I am.”

  Chapter 29

  Logan

  “Okay, so movie. You make the popcorn and I’ll pick,” I say as I stand and head toward the media room.

  “Living room,” Kacen calls out to me.

  “What?”

  “Living room, I want to watch it in there instead of the media room.”

  I don’t ask him why. I make my way to the living room and pull up Netflix. I surf through the options. I want something we can both enjoy. When I see Top Gun, I know that’s the one. It’s the best of both worlds. My dad and brother love this movie.

  Kacen comes in carrying a huge bowl of popcorn just as a loud crack of thunder hits. Not far behind is the downpour of rain hitting against the windows.

  “I love curling up with a good book or movie when it’s storming.”

  “Yeah? I’m not much of a reader, but I’ve been known to watch a movie or two. What’s our feature presentation?”

  “Top Gun.”

  “Seriously? You have to be the coolest chick ever!” he says enthusiastically.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I grin at him. “Hit the lights.”

  He hands me the bowl of popcorn and a bottle of water. After turning off the lights, he sits down beside me on the couch. “Action,” he says with laughter in his voice.

  I take that as my cue to hit play. We both focus on the movie, silently snacking on popcorn. It doesn’t take long for the bowl to be empty. Kacen sets it on
the table along with our empty water bottles. The rain brought in a cool front; the temperature in the house is getting cooler. Kacen must notice my shiver because he jumps from the couch and jogs down the hall. He’s back in no time with a blanket. He unfolds it and drapes it over my legs.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, not sure why. It’s not like we’re in a theatre.

  Kacen nods and sits next to me on the couch, closer this time. His leg is touching mine. All that separates us is the blanket. I’m wearing a cover-up on over my swimsuit; it’s mesh, so basically nothing, and Kacen still has his board shorts on. I’ve been trying not to think about it or even look at him really. His abs, the six pack, the sexy V . . . yeah, distracting.

  About halfway through the movie, Kacen hits pause. He stands and holds his hand out for me. Confused, I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me up. Once I’m standing, he lets go of my hand and picks up the blanket. I watch as he sets the remote on the arm of the couch and then lies down, patting the spot in front of him.

  He wants me to lay with him.

  I want to. I want to feel him curled up behind me, his arms around me. I stand there, staring at him while I fight the same internal battle, my heart versus my mind.

  “I’ll be good. I just want to hold you, Logan.”

  How does a girl say no to that? He continues to break down my defenses. Deciding to take the leap, I lie down in front of him, my head resting in the crook of his arm. Once I’m settled, he throws the blanket over both of us. I feel his arm reach over our heads for the remote and he hits play. The movies starts and I try to focus on the screen, until his arm wraps around my waist. I feel his lips press against my temple as he releases a sigh of contentment.

  This was a bad idea. His warmth and smell surrounds me. I can’t fall into this, into him. Even as that thought runs through my mind, my body relaxes against him. I’m in trouble.

  The next thing I know, I wake with a jolt and see the TV is off, the house is dark, and the storm is still raging outside. I’m warm and so comfortable I don’t ever want to move.

  “I could watch you sleep for days.”

  Kacen!

  Slowly, I turn so we’re facing each other. It’s so dark I can barely see him. How was he watching me? “It’s dark,” I reply.

  He chuckles softly. “Now it is, but I could see you when you fell asleep from the glow of the TV. I turned it off so it wouldn’t wake you.”

  “You should have woken me. I’m so sorry. I’m sure you have better things to do than let me sleep on you.” I say the words, but make no effort to extract myself from his embrace.

  “Never. I missed this, you know.”

  What? “Missed what?” I ask confused.

  He traces the line of my jaw with his index finger. “This, waking up to you. I missed this in Hawaii. You were gone when I woke up.”

  Did he want me to stay? As if he can read my mind, he answers, “Normally, that wouldn’t bother me. I don’t do that often, but when I have, it’s me who’s sneaking out or kicking the other person out of my bed. I didn’t want that with you.” His voice is soft. “I wanted to wake up to you, see your hair a mess from our night together. Hear your voice raspy with sleep.” He places his lips next to my ear. “I wanted to make love to you as the sun came up,” he whispers.

  Holy hell!

  “I wasn’t sure what to do. I assumed I was making it easier for both of us, avoiding the awkward morning after,” I confess.

  “I wanted more of you. I want more of you, Logan. I want all of you. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to see that.”

  Leave it to me to fall for a musician. A man who makes a living with lyrics. His words melt my soul.

  “It’s a risk.”

  He nods. “I won’t hurt you. Ever.” His words are unmistakable.

  “I just—” He cuts me off, placing his finger over my lips.

  “I’m here, waiting to hand over all of me. I’m just waiting for you to be ready to accept.”

  “What happens when you take you back? When you want to give all of you to someone else?” I asked this earlier, but it’s still a question that weighs heavy on my mind.

  His hand trails up and down my arm soothingly. “I know that you light a fire inside me like no one before you. I know that you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. That’s never faltered. Not once since our night together in Hawaii has that pattern changed. I fought what I feel for you. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore,” he says emphatically.

  “Kacen, I—”

  “Shh, just close your eyes, sweetheart. I know you need to process all of this, and I’m good with that. I just want to hold you. So close your eyes and let me do that, please.”

  Giving in, at least for tonight, I relax fully into him and close my eyes. Kacen gently places his hand on my back and runs his fingers back and forth until finally his touch lulls me to sleep.

  Chapter 30

  Logan

  The early morning sun forces me awake. Opening my eyes, I take in my surroundings. I’m in Kacen’s living room. Last night comes rushing back to me. I’m still snuggled on the couch with him. My back is to his front and his face is buried in my neck. I can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and each breath as it hits my skin. That’s not all I feel. His groin is nestled against me. I can feel it . . . feel him.

  “Morning, beautiful.” His sleepy voice startles me, causing me to jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “I thought you were still asleep.”

  “It’s like my body is so in tune with yours that I knew you were awake and trying to figure out how to slip out of my arms. No way was I missing this again, waking up with you.”

  He’s making it so damn difficult to fight my heart. He’s this gorgeous, tattooed, body- made-for-fantasies, rock star who uses his wordsmith ways on me. His words cause a flutter in my belly and my heart to race. Kacen is temptation at its finest, and right now, in this moment, I’m not sure how strong I am to keep him at bay.

  My mind continues to tell me to fight like hell to protect myself, protect my heart. My foolish heart is ready to jump head first into the unknown with him.

  “What are we doing today, love?” his sleepy voice asks.

  Love? There he goes again, one word making me feel like I matter to him. “I . . . I don’t know. I thought the guys were coming back today.”

  “Mmmm.” He nuzzles my neck, placing a tender kiss just below my ear. “Not until later tonight. Have you to myself the entire day.” He says this as his hand slips under my bikini cover-up and rests on my bare stomach.

  “Oh,” I say, not trusting my voice not to betray me if I say anything more. I remember the last time his large calloused hands were on my bare skin. Even though it was weeks ago, I can still see the entire night in vivid color in my mind. I’ll never forget it.

  “Maybe we—” He’s interrupted by the ringing of my cell phone.

  Reaching out, I grab it from the table and hold it so I can see the screen, Daniel.

  “Let me answer it. I need to remind him that you’re mine,” he grumbles.

  Do I do that? It would help to make Daniel realize it’s over. Kacen takes the phone out of my hand and places it to his ear. I guess he’s made my mind up for me.

  “Hello?” His voice is raspy and deep. It’s obvious he just woke up.

  “She’s sleeping. I thought I told you to leave her alone. I’m not real thrilled that you keep harassing my girl,” he tells Daniel. “She doesn’t want or need to hear your bullshit apologies. She wants nothing to do with you.” His face breaks out in a grin as he hands the phone to me. “He hung up on me.”

  “Maybe he finally gets that it’s over,” I say.

  “If not, I’ll be here to remind him. I’m not just saying you’re mine because I want him to leave you alone. It started out that way, but if we’re being honest, in my mind, you were mine before I said the words. Now that I’ve
told you what I want, I need for you to really believe them. I want us.”

  “So what were you going to suggest we do today?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “What if I said I want to stay right here, in this spot, until the last possible second? That I want to spend the day holding you?” he asks.

  “Why would you want to do that?”

  He releases a heavy sigh. “Because I have no idea when I’ll get to do this again. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for you to understand that you’re who I want. Because right now, in this moment, nothing even touches the idea of spending the day with you in my arms.”

  “Kacen . . .” I stop there because I have no words.

  He chuckles. “It was worth a shot. Okay, so what if we jump on the side by side and take a drive around the property? There’s a pond and some great shade trees. We can have a picnic,” he suggests.

  Turning over so we are now face to face, I ask, “You want to have a picnic?”

  “Yes,” he kisses my nose, “I want to have a picnic. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

  “Well, I guess it’s not, really. I guess the shock is more that I’m with a man who wants to do something so . . . romantic,” I confess.

  “Logan, he’s a dick. He didn’t treat you right. You deserve someone who will always put you first. I’m that guy. I got you.”

  “Well, let’s see what you got, Mr. Rock Star.”

  His grin is infectious. With a slap on my ass and a chaste kiss to my lips, he’s climbing over the top of me. “Let the master do his thing. We’ll head out in an hour.”

  Looking at my phone, I see that it’s already ten in the morning. We slept late. Kacen sprints off toward his room. I assume it’s for a shower. He has a picnic to prepare. My excitement grows, wondering how he’s going to pull off a romantic picnic in an hour’s time. Then again, all he needs to do is open his mouth and let the words he’s been spewing the last two days fly and I’ll be in a puddle at his feet. The man has skills . . . in more way than one.