Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  I shake my head, not understanding why this is happening to me. Jenna was only supposed to be a fling. I paid enormous amounts of money to people to help keep them apart. I thought I got rid of her until her out of control best friend drunkenly told a story involving a “secret” that Jenna was keeping. Turns out, that person she told was paparazzi and he sold the story for a lot of money.

  A story whose secret was a child that Cal didn’t know he even had.

  A story that painted Cal’s reputation as a deadbeat father.

  I knew all about Cal’s child before he did. I kept that secret because I knew if he found out, he would be lost to me forever. I thought I had borrowed time until the little brat was old enough to either want to find her daddy or want nothing to do with him. I was hoping Jenna would find someone else to be the kid’s father. But four years later, that bitch was still not married and once the story became public, Cal immediately flew to Chicago to meet his daughter.

  I didn’t panic at first. During those four years, I spent as much time as I could with Cal. We made a movie together with Sean. We went on vacation together, we were each other’s dates to movie premieres and we talked on the phone daily. I made sure to sabotage any other woman that came into his life before he could even really think about them. Fortunately, Cal is a workaholic and was determined to make a name for himself in Hollywood. He put dating on hold and I made myself available to him whenever he needed a date for any award ceremony, event, or even just to go out. We were photographed all the time together and I anonymously paid the press money to print stories about us secretly dating. As his fame rose, he barely paid attention to himself in the press and when his publicist brought the stories to his attention and asked if he wanted to issue a cease and desist for printing false information, he laughed it off and said he didn’t care if they thought we were together.

  That was when I knew I had chance.

  I started to act more aggressive with him, more suggestive. He used to only look at me as a friend, but then one night at a party, he looked at me differently. The lust showed up in his eyes as his gaze lingered on my lips. Lips that I’ve been told look amazing wrapped around men’s dicks. I was determined to have them wrapped around his that night. I proceeded to keep pumping him with alcohol as the taste of victory was near. When I saw he was teetering on the line between buzzed and inebriated, I made my move. I took him to a bathroom, locked the door and attempted to make him mine.

  His lips were the most delicious lips I’ve ever tasted.

  His tongue awakened a desire that no man has ever come close to making me feel.

  He had me pinned to the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist and was this close to having him inside me, bare with no condom, when the banging on the door startled us apart. It was as if an ice cold bucket of water was poured on him. He looked at me, saw the position we were in and dropped me as if I burned him. He quickly buttoned up his pants and opened the door without saying a word and left.

  Staring at me from the other side of that door was Sean Lindsey. The look of jealousy and desire shooting daggers at me from his eyes as he assessed the situation he just interrupted. Sean has loved me from the day he met me and I have used that love as a pawn in my game.

  I keep him close so I can be close to Cal.

  Sean and Cal have been best friends for years. There is no one who knows Cal better than Sean. I have toyed with the idea of Sean as my backup, but despite his good looks, Sean doesn’t light my core on fire the way Cal does. So I keep Sean in my back pocket, teasing him with hope that one day we might be together.

  Do I have remorse that I’m stringing him along? Absolutely not!

  My mother taught me at a very young age to go after what I wanted, because the only person who can look out for me is me. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

  I want Cal Harrington.

  I will have Cal Harrington.

  And nobody will stand in my way.

  The ringing of my cell phone brings me out of my trance. I get up and retrieve it out of my purse to see my agent calling me. I purposely signed with Philip Logan because he was Cal and Sean’s agent. He’s ridiculously expensive, but worth every penny. I quickly debate whether or not to answer, but decide it’s better to answer his call in order to see if I can get any information out of him regarding Cal’s next movie.

  “How is my favorite agent doing?” I sweetly ask as I answer the phone.

  “Do you have another agent working for you? Because I wouldn’t put that past you,” he sharply answers back, no amusement in his voice whatsoever. I sigh hearing his tone, knowing that this conversation will not be fun.

  “What’s wrong now, Philip?” I roll my eyes, not hiding my annoyance. I have no energy to deal with his melodrama today and I now regret answering his call.

  “Guerdain is dropping you.”

  “What? They can’t do that. I’m in contract with them!” I yell into the phone in disbelief. I have been the face of one of Guerdain’s perfumes for the past five years, raking in a million dollars per year for ad campaigns. They are my last endorsement since all of my other ones have run out and the companies don’t want to renew. Some bullshit excuse saying I’m difficult to work with.

  “They most certainly can and did, Cora. All you had to do was show up on time, be nice, and keep that pretty big mouth of yours shut! But it seems you not only were late this last photo shoot, but were rude to the director, whining about how slow he was and complaining about how long the shoot was. Your reputation is preceding you and no one wants to sign you for endorsements. I can’t even get a tampon company to want you!” He sneers, making me want to hurl my phone against the floor and scream. I needed that money and with no other movies lined up right now, I need to figure out quickly what I am going to do.

  “What kind of scripts do you have for me, Philip?” I change the subject, hoping for some good news to come out of this conversation and that he has another job booked for me.

  “I only have two scripts for you, but they are the same type of parts you seem to gravitate toward. Villainous bitch, ready to destroy things. I know those roles are true to reality, but aren’t you tired of playing yourself?” His sarcasm makes me grit my teeth from refraining to tell him to go fuck himself.

  “My fans like me in these roles and we want to keep them happy in order to keep them coming to the box office,” I remind him so he can keep his focus on dollar signs and not the type of roles I play. “Scan and email the scripts to me so I can read them.”

  “Why don’t I just physically hand them to you this weekend?”

  “Since when were we meeting this weekend?” I ask in confusion, trying to remember if I agreed to a meeting in Los Angeles with him or if he was coming to London. My mother is the only one who knows about this apartment in Chicago, as the sneaky bitch went through my office in my London home and found the paperwork. Since her third divorce was finalized, I reluctantly agreed to her temporarily living in my London home while I’m away in order for someone to take care of it. That was a year ago and it looks like she has no desire of ever leaving.

  “Aren’t you going to be at Cal’s surprise birthday party?” He asks and I’m stunned into silence by this unexpected news. “Your silence leads me to believe that you didn’t know about your supposed best friend’s party. Which means Jenna didn’t invite you,” he laughs and I wish I was physically in front of him to punch him in his smug, ugly face. “Can’t blame her really since you make it painfully obvious how you want what is hers.”

  “Do your job, Philip! Get me those scripts and find some more endorsement deals. I’ll see you this weekend!” I hang up on him and scream out my frustrations.

  How dare that whore not invite me to his birthday party! I start pacing my living room, frantically thinking of ways to crash that party when I immediately think of Sean and dial his phone number.

  “Hello, handsome,” I purr at him as soon as he answers. “Am I going to see you this weeken
d? I really miss you.” I lower my voice so that it sounds husky and genuine.

  “Sorry, Cora, but I’m not in London,” he says, his voice sounding distant as if he’s uninterested in talking to me. “I will ring you when I return.”

  “I know you’re in Chicago for the big party, Sean. I was thinking I can come with you and be your plus one,” I say nonchalantly, trying to act calm.

  “I know firsthand that you weren’t invited, Cora. How do you even know about it?” He questions, his voice laced with amusement and I relax hearing hints of how he normally sounds when talking with me.

  “It doesn’t matter how I found out. What matters is that I’m there with you, celebrating our oldest friend. Don’t you think Cal would be upset if one of his best friends wasn’t there? Besides, it would be nice to have some alone time with you. Just like old times,” I say with purpose, hoping to jog his memory of the good times we recently had together.

  All three of us reunited last year to shoot the sequel to our highly successful drama thriller we made together five years ago. With Jenna always being on set, I spent most of my free time with Sean. But even he couldn’t distract me from my anger at having to see her every day with the man that’s supposed to be mine.

  “I don’t know what Cal thinks anymore since his head is so far up Jenna’s ass. No offense, but he probably wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t there.”

  Despite his joking tone, his words make me seethe. How dare he throw that in my face! I mentally count to ten to calm down before responding to him.

  “Sean, I want to see you and I know you want to see me too. I will text you on Friday when I land so you can let me know what hotel to meet you at.”

  “I am staying with Cal and Jenna. Since you’re going to be a party crasher, might be best if you stay at a hotel, Cora.”

  “Fine, but you are always welcome to share my room if the baby keeps you awake,” I say, giving Sean the option of choosing me instead of being in a house with children. Jenna gave birth to their son, Brooks, who just turned one. Another party that I wasn’t invited to. I shake off my bitterness to focus back on the conversation.

  “Text me when you land, Cora. We can make plans then. I need to go.” I stare at the phone in shock as I see he hung up on me without saying goodbye.

  I walk into my bedroom, pull open the closet doors and start sifting through my clothes. All my clothes here are dull and boring. Most of them having to be a disguise so I don’t get recognized. I grab my red wig, go into my bathroom and look at myself as I put it on and adjust it to properly fit my head.

  “Sean is dead wrong if he thinks Cal won’t notice me at his party,” I say to my reflection with an evil smile. Satisfied with my appearance, I give myself a wink of confidence, walk out to grab my purse and sunglasses.

  It’s time to go shopping for a dress that will make sure no one forgets my attendance at Cal’s party.

  2

  Sean

  “Talking with your she-devil?” I spin around in surprise at the sound of Jenna’s voice. So engrossed was I in my thoughts over my conversation with Cora that I didn’t hear her approach the kitchen. She’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against her chest, looking at me with annoyance.

  Fuck, she wasn’t supposed to hear anything! I quickly place my phone in the back pocket of my jeans to try to hide it. I’m the dumbass who took the phone call in her kitchen instead of going outside, so it’s just my luck that she would hear my conversation. Not really wanting to reveal the news about Cora’s future attendance in her home, I give her my best innocent smile and decide to deflect the question.

  “Jenna, dear, don’t you know it’s not nice to sneak up on people while they’re having a conversation? Now I see where your daughter gets it from.”

  Jenna and Cal’s daughter, Avery, is notorious for sneaking up on people and hearing inappropriate conversations at the wrong time. At the tender age of eight, she has already heard about cum juice and butt plugs.

  “But I will forgive you for scaring me since you look so ravishing in your sweaty workout attire,” I tell her with a wink. She rolls her eyes at my flirtatious banter and moves away from the doorframe to the refrigerator.

  I can’t help my eyes from scanning her tight body, clad in black work out leggings and a loose fitting white t-shirt. Since having their second child, Jenna has been working hard to make sure she maintains her pre-baby shape. I scan her face while she pulls out a water bottle from the refrigerator and takes a deep gulp of it. Her face is looking a little too thin, making me wonder if she’s becoming obsessed with keeping herself in shape. I make a mental note to talk to Cal about it when she interrupts my thoughts with her next words.

  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick you out of my house for inviting her to Cal’s party?” Her whiskey colored eyes shoot daggers at me in anger. Her tone of voice is harsh, but the underlying hint of hurt is clearly detectable. Now I’m the asshole for betraying her.

  Bloody fucking hell, she did hear everything! Jenna is one of the last people I want to upset. Not only because she’s my best friend’s fiancée, but also because I love her like a sister. She has been brutally honest with me about her feelings for Cora since Cora has made her dislike for Jenna clear from the moment Jenna entered Cal’s life. What endears Jenna the most to me is that she isn’t worried about herself, but more concerned about me and my feelings for Cora.

  Feelings that I have had for her since the moment I laid eyes on her in boarding school.

  Feelings that have never been reciprocated.

  Feelings that I have tried to turn off, but manage to come back alive as if I’m hit with a bolt of lightning every time I see her or hear her voice.

  Feelings that I know will never be reciprocated back to me.

  “I didn’t invite her, Jenna. She already knew about it. The only person who could have told her would have been Phillip,” I suggest, hoping that her anger will shift from me toward him.

  “Yet you did nothing to discourage her from coming,” she counters back, slamming the water bottle against the kitchen counter.

  I narrow my eyes at her, not liking her tone of voice with me. “I don’t appreciate having my private phone conversations being listened to, Jenna.”

  “Then don’t have your private conversations in my kitchen, Sean!” She emphasizes and we just stare at each other in silence. I’m the first one to break our gaze as I rake my hands through my hair and sigh in defeat. She’s right, I could have told Cora no and I didn’t. Instead I let her get her way— as usual.

  “I’m sorry, Jenna. I didn’t think of how her being at his party would upset you since she has been a longtime friend of his. I promise I will control her and make sure she doesn’t cause trouble,” I offer, not wanting to fight with Jenna, acknowledging that I’m in the wrong.

  She looks at me in disbelief, a bitter laugh escaping her. “You can’t control Cora Gregory, Sean. If anything, she controls you.” She walks toward me, stops directly in front of me and pokes her finger into my chest. Jenna’s petite, standing at only five feet three inches tall, so she has to lean her head back in order to look me in the eyes since I stand a foot above her. “Keep her away from me and my children, Sean, and we’ll have a great night.”

  “I will try my best, Jenna,” I say with fake reassurance, not feeling confident at all about the task. Keeping Cora from trying to talk with Cal is going to be tricky since Cal’s usually glued to Jenna’s side at all times. Keeping Cora away from both of them will be challenging.

  Who am I kidding? It won’t happen.

  As if Jenna can read my mind, she looks at me with disappointment and shakes her head. She tries to walk around me to leave, but I grab her arm instead and turn her back to me.

  “What, Jenna? Why the look?” Sometimes disappointing Jenna feels worse than disappointing my own parents.

  “I just don’t get it, Sean. You are one of the biggest movie stars in the world, who can ha
ve any woman they want, and yet you are in love with a snake.”

  “Being a bit dramatic now, aren’t we?” I ask in amusement at her calling Cora a snake.

  “I don’t think so, Sean. She has been in love with your best friend since the day you two entered her life. You know it and yet you continue to let her manipulate and use your feelings for her so she can try to get closer to him.”

  I look at her in stone-cold silence, her words like little knives slicing at my heart.

  Because deep down, I know she’s right.

  “She’s evil, Sean. She was born that way and will never change.”

  “No one is born evil, Jenna,” I interrupt, tired of hearing her opinions on Cora. Regardless of my feelings for Cora, she’s still one of my closest friends. “Cora just wants to be loved. She never got that from her parents and unfortunately, is looking for it in the wrong places.”

  “When are you going to stop making excuses for her, Sean?” Jenna pleads as she grabs my hands and squeezes them. “Why can’t you move on to someone who will love you as much as you love them? You deserve that, Sean!”

  “You’re right, I do, but how does one go about dating when they are a celebrity? Online dating? Going to the pubs? Maybe I should just take random trips every week to see if I get the chance to meet a beautiful lady in first class.” I give her a knowing smile, referencing at how she met Cal.

  She can’t help the blush that creeps up her face as she reminisces of that airplane ride. “I don’t know, but Cora Gregory is not the love of your life. You just haven’t realized that yet. Until then, we need to figure out how to get you back in the dating world.” She turns to leave, but then pauses and turns back to me. “Dating, Sean, not just fucking.”

  “What a dirty little mouth for such a prestigious lady,” I tease, thoroughly enjoying when Jenna curses since it’s such a rarity. But Jenna barely acknowledges me as she’s deep in thought of how I should meet the future Mrs. Sean Lindsey.