Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  “You need someone who is smart, with a quick wit and a strong tongue to handle your charm.”

  “I like the strong tongue part… oral skills are very important.” I throw my head back in laughter at the look of disgust that Jenna gives me. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Jenna! Of course I meant oral as in how she verbally communicates.” She rolls her eyes at my lie and is about to say something back when our attention is diverted to the window at the sound of children’s laughter.

  We both walk over to see Isla, Jenna’s nanny, playing with Avery and Brooks in the pool. Isla is standing on the steps of the pool, holding Brooks on her hip, as she laughs at Avery splashing them from doing a cannon ball into the pool. I take in the tiny, blue string bikini Isla is wearing and immediately feel my dick stirring.

  Calm down, boy! Isla is off limits!

  Isla Jones has been in my life as long as I can remember, with our parents being friends before we were born. We have shared numerous holidays together, most of my memories of Isla being that annoying little sister who wouldn’t stop following my brothers and I around. With her being six years younger than us, we were never interested in playing with her and I barely paid attention to her when she came to visit. Once I went away to England for boarding school, I hadn’t seen Isla in over ten years since she then went away to school and was living in Paris for work. When Cal and Jenna were looking for a nanny, I casually asked my mother if she knew anyone, not even thinking about Isla. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that she was available since the last time I had heard news about her, it was of her employment as a nanny for some children of a French dignitary. So when I saw her for the first time as Cal and Jenna’s nanny at an event in Vancouver, I barely recognized her. Shock is not even the proper word I would use for my reaction at seeing her for the first time after all these years.

  Because annoying little Izzy had turned into a beautiful woman who goes by her name of Isla.

  A woman who captivates most men’s attention anywhere she goes, without even trying.

  And I was astonished at how my body instantly reacted to her.

  Desire and want flooded through my veins the second her eyes connected with mine.

  No, this can’t be Izzy, I had thought. For a brief second, I thought it was Cora since they look very similar, but then realized it wasn’t by the color and cut of her dress. Cora was at the same event with me, so I knew it couldn’t be her. I looked more closely at her, realizing that this gorgeous human was my Izzy.

  Izzy’s blond hair had turned darker, into more of a mocha color, her face slender with high cheekbones and captivating green eyes. Her body morphed from being an overweight child to an adult with a strong, lean body that looks like a work of art from Michelangelo himself. My hands itch to cup her perky, full breasts, while her long legs make me day dream about them being wrapped around my waist.

  How could I be thinking this way of my family friend, Izzy?

  I wouldn’t be a hot blooded man if I didn’t think this way about Isla.

  As I come out of my thoughts of Isla, I turn to notice that Jenna has been watching me with a disapproving look that screams I know who you’ve been thinking about!

  “I think we need to cool off from your work out. Fancy a swim?” I nod toward the pool and wiggle my eyebrows.

  “We?” she asks, suspiciously. “Touch my nanny, Sean, and I will chop off your balls!” She huffs at my mischievous smile, turns on her heels, and walks out of the kitchen. I chuckle to myself at how astute Jenna is as I make my way to their guest bedroom to change into my swim trunks.

  Because I have no plans on staying away from Isla Jones.

  3

  Isla

  The hairs on the back of my neck rise, my body sensing him before even seeing him.

  His husky laughter at something Cal tells him as they walk along the side of the pool make my insides clench at the sexiness of it.

  Don’t look, Isla. Concentrate on the children.

  But when it comes to Sean Lindsey, the man has always commanded my attention.

  He has been commanding it ever since I was a child when I was in love with him, only to have him continuously break my heart every time he ignored me.

  Little Izzy. I despised that name and loathed it even more when he sneered it in his adolescent teasing way when we were growing up. He always saw me more as a nuisance since I was the only girl amongst all boys.

  Yet I saw him as a God.

  As years went by and we went off to our respective schools, our family visits became few and far between. My school girl crush on him lessoned as I grew older and when I started to receive attention from other guys, Sean became a distant memory.

  But a memory that, nonetheless, managed to still turn up in my dreams.

  I try not to watch his magnificent body saunter over to a lawn chair to sunbathe, but my eyes are glued to the hard roundness of his delectable ass. Thank goodness I’m wearing sunglasses so I can tilt my head one way, while admiring the view out of my peripheral vision.

  His chiseled chest and abs are covered with a small sampling of hair. His bicep muscles are defined and toned to be the perfect size, with his left bicep wrapped in a unique tattoo. I’m not usually attracted to men with tattoos, but his suits him. As if I’m watching a movie in slow motion, he meticulously slathers his body in sunscreen, making sure he doesn’t miss a spot. A devil of a smile plays on his lips as if he knows he’s being watched. I shake my head and turn my back toward him, marveling at the fact that he keeps getting better looking with age.

  It isn’t fair that men are made to look like Sean Lindsey. His handsomeness is at a level that few men can even match. Unfortunately, his attitude is exactly what one would assume one who looks like him would be — cocky, arrogant, egotistical and can charm your panties right off of you within a blink of an eye. My brothers would talk about Sean’s reputation with envy and I would get mildly irritated at hearing about his conquests.

  Learning that he was in love with an evil bitch like Cora Gregory was downright devastating.

  He revealed that information to my brothers one drunken night years ago when we were all home in Ireland together. After the initial shattering of my heart at this news, my agony quickly turned into disgust as I couldn’t understand how someone as intelligent as Sean could ever fall for a selfish, narcissistic, sorry excuse for a woman. He had brought her home during the holidays numerous times, claiming she had nowhere to go as her home life wasn’t a healthy environment. Both of our families welcomed her with open arms and she played the part by being on her best behavior, but I would see that glint of malevolence shimmering from her eyes at me, especially any time someone commented on how much we resembled each other. Sure, we both have dark brown hair and green eyes, but that is where the similarities end. I don’t walk around with permanent resting bitch face and a stick up my ass. I would always pray that the clouds would be lifted from Sean’s eyes and he would see how wrong she is for him. How could he want her when she doesn’t even hide her lust for Cal, his own best friend? But, judging from the way he looked at her when I last saw them on set of the movie that the three of them were shooting together, his feelings for her haven’t changed.

  His weakness for someone who is so wrong for him makes me realize that Sean is not the strong-minded man I viewed him to be. Combined with my former employer trying to sexually assault me while I slept, my views on men and love are no longer childhood fairytales.

  No man will define who I am and what I will do with my life.

  Life is not a love song where the girl and boy meet and fall in love. Life is hard, messy, beautiful and can be downright nasty. I am the only one who can make myself happy. Men are just the icing on the cake.

  I can’t be in love with someone like Sean, but he can be my current object of desire, wrapped up in an invisible bow with a big warning sign saying, “Stay far, far away”. I see the way he has been looking at me the past two months he’s been staying here
and it’s anything but brotherly. I secretly enjoy seeing his eyes graze over my body, liking what he sees so that he has to physically adjust himself. It’s satisfying to know that I finally got his attention, but what good is it if he still wants Cora?

  Doesn’t mean that I can’t still have fun with him. It has been close to three years since my last boyfriend, with only casual dating in between. I crave physical contact - I need some kind of contact — and as my gaze returns to the man of my thoughts, an idea starts to form.

  I’m an adult now. I can totally take my emotions out of the equation and have a casual fling with Sean until he leaves.

  No, you can’t! My heart screams.

  You are a strong, independent woman! You can definitely handle it! My brain inserts.

  Get him inside you NOW! My vagina demands as it clenches every time I feel his heated, intense stare on me.

  “Uncle Robert!” Avery’s sweet little voice interrupts my thoughts and I give a silent prayer of thanks for her distraction. I turn around to see Jenna’s assistant, Robert, walk away from the patio doors and head toward us. I am shocked to see him in a swimsuit as it’s the middle of the day during the work week, but working for Jenna Pruitt comes with a lot of perks, one of them being a flexible schedule and working from home — or in this case, from her pool. He puts his laptop down on the table and joins us by sitting next to me on the stairs in the pool.

  “I have an observation,” he says, his voice low so no one can hear him. His head is positioned straight, looking towards where Cal and Sean are sitting, but with his aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes, I am unsure as to who he’s really looking at.

  “And what is that?” I ask in anticipation as I always enjoy listening to Robert’s gossip, especially since it is usually things about life in Hollywood that his boyfriend, Kellan, tells him. Kellan is Cal’s stylist, but he also styles other big names in Hollywood. He’s based in Los Angeles, but they make their long distance relationship work by flying out to see each other every other weekend.

  “The yards of fabric on your bathing suit seem to be coming less and less in the presence of Mr. Lindsey.” He turns his attention towards me, one eyebrow raised in mock questioning with a smirk playing across his lips.

  “You’re so ridiculous, Robert. When was the last time you even saw me in a bathing suit?” I ask, my voice bored with his observation already. If he’s right, it was not intentionally done. I needed new bathing suits and since I always see Jenna wearing her bikinis when she swims, I didn’t think it was a big deal if I wore mine.

  “Last week you were wearing a tankini. Today you’re wearing four small triangles that leave little to the imagination. You’re lucky Jenna doesn’t feel threatened by you to be wearing that around Cal.” His voice turns serious and I gasp in shock. I look down at myself and realize that Robert is right, this is not an appropriate bathing suit for a nanny to be wearing. Guilt floods through me, my cheeks stained red from embarrassment.

  “Oh my gosh, I need to go change. I don’t want to do anything that upsets Jenna!” Sometimes I forget that Jenna is actually my boss because from day one, she has welcomed me with open arms and treats me more like her little sister. Cal is the only one who still intimidates me when he stares at you, which he does to everyone with no shame. It feels as if he is sizing everyone up, assessing if he feels you are worthy to be around Jenna and their children, much less him. He treats me with professionalism and barely speaks to me, letting Jenna be the one in charge of running the household.

  “Changing would be too obvious. Calm down, you’re fine.” He dismisses the subject with a wave of his hand.

  I walk down the pool steps, clutching Brooks tighter to me, as I move deeper into the water in hopes that it covers most of my body. Brooks squeals in delight as the water covers him, kicking his chunky little legs around. I stop when the depth of the water touches underneath my breasts. I hear water rustling behind me and know Robert is following me.

  “Oh yeah, that thing is barely covering your T&A.” His shades fall down to the tip of his nose as he looks up from my ass and stares at my tits.

  “What is T&A?” Avery asks, coming up behind Robert. A high pitched squeal comes out of him, making both kids laugh. We were so engrossed in our conversation that we didn’t notice Avery swimming toward us. I give him an evil smile as it seems that once again, Avery hears something inappropriate coming out of his mouth, and I can’t wait to see how he tries to get out of this one.

  “Avery! You scared me! Why are you not wearing your bell?” Robert gave Avery a small bell on a silver chain as a present to wear so he can hear when she’s around. It was more of a present for him so he would stop getting in trouble with Cal and Jenna when they hear Avery repeating the not-suited-for-children comments that come out of his mouth in almost every conversation he engages in.

  “I can’t wear a bell in the pool, Uncle Robert.” She looks at him as if he’s crazy and I can’t help the laugh that escapes out of my mouth. At eight years old, Avery’s as sassy as her mother and questions everything that comes out of anyone’s mouth as her attitude is already one of a know-it-all.

  “That bell is your new jewelry and needs to be on you at all times. Even in the shower!” He points his finger at her, which only gets him rewarded with an eye roll from her.

  “What is T&A and why is it covering Izzy?” She asks once again and the look in her eyes is one of sheer determination that she won’t stop asking until she gets an answer.

  Robert sees it, but instead of looking panicked, he briefly glances at me with a wicked smile before grabbing Avery underneath her arms to bring her closer to him for a hug.

  “T&A stands for Tadas and Awesomeness and that’s what Izzy is covered in. Don’t you think Izzy is awesome? And isn’t ‘ta-da’ one of your favorite words to say?“ She nods her head in agreement at him. “You know who is also pretty awesome? Your mommy! So when you see her next, you should tell her that she is all T&A.” He starts to tickle Avery and I groan out loud in exasperation at him for continuing to cause trouble.

  “Robert…” I slowly warn and try to give him a stern look, but fail miserably as the image of Avery innocently telling Jenna that she is all T&A without knowing it really stands for tits and ass, is quite comical.

  “Just keeping everyone on their toes here, Isla,” he jokes before putting Avery down and leaving the pool in order to answer his ringing cell phone that is on the table by his laptop.

  I shake my head at his retreating back, but smile as he does contribute to the awesomeness of the gig. Robert has become a friend, showing me around Chicago and taking me to all of the local popular hangouts on my days off. Even Jenna will drop the kids off at her parents’ house and take me to a girls only dinner when Cal is out of town. Because of everyone’s warmth and kindness, I have not felt homesick yet in over a year since being employed by them.

  A yell and a loud splash makes me whip my head around to see that Sean and Cal dove into the pool and are now swimming toward us in a race. I grab Avery’s arm and narrowly miss being taken out by Cal, who touches the side of the pool only a fraction of a second before Sean does.

  “Yeah, Daddy won!” Avery claps her hands in excitement as Cal reaches for her.

  “It was the sight of you and your mommy that made me want to get to this side of the pool as fast as I could.” He kisses her cheek and hands her over to Sean, who places her on his back so they can dive underwater together. Brooks starts splashing his arms around, his gurgling baby noises growing louder as he notices his mother. Jenna is now outside, looking over Robert’s shoulder as he shows her something on his laptop. He says something that makes her laugh and slap his shoulder as she walks away toward the pool. Robert and Jenna have been through a lot together and it is obvious in the way they handle their relationship, both personally and professionally. There is a lot of respect for one another, as well as a lot of love as they bicker and banter as if they were siblings. As Jenna’s event planni
ng company has thrived throughout the years, she has made sure Robert has grown with it. She has given him the keys to her kingdom now, trusting him without hesitation to run it. The company has become so successful under his leadership that big name corporations have recently been offering Jenna millions of dollars to buy it from her. She hasn’t talked much about it, but with the addition of Brooks to the family and her and Cal agreeing to not be away from each other for more than two weeks while he is on location, I suspect that Jenna might be considering one of those offers.

  As she makes her way to the pool, her eyes are solely locked on Cal, a seductive smile on her lips, her eyes telling him secrets that only he can decode. He waits for her at the stairs, looking at her as a lion watches his prey. Hunger, heat — it radiates from him as his eyes trail up and down her body. The way they stare at each other makes me blush, but I can’t seem to look away as envy burns inside me.

  He holds out his hand for her as she walks down the stairs into the pool. As soon as she’s within reach, he wraps his arms around her, placing one hand possessively on her ass, the other behind her neck so he can crush her mouth to his. Her legs immediately wrap around his waist, her arms going around his neck while her hands hold onto his head as his mouth devours hers. Tongues plunged into each others mouths, they don’t care who is watching them. Their need for each other needing to be satisfied. Watching them makes me realize that my earlier thinking of a casual fling is not really what I want.

  I want a man to look at me the way Cal looks at Jenna.

  I want to find a love that makes me feel crazy drunk without any drops of alcohol.

  I want a man to consume me the way he consumes her.

  And starting an affair with Sean Lindsey will not get me any of these things.

  “I predict Baby Harrington #3 in ten months’ time,” Robert says as he makes his way back to the pool. Jenna and Cal break their kiss, her cheeks red with embarrassment. Cal brings them down into the water as Jenna tries to break away from him, only to have him haul her back against his chest.