Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  “No!” Jenna sternly says, shaking her head at Robert.

  “Yes!” Cal says seductively, pressing his forehead into hers. He leans in to whisper something in her ear that makes her laugh. It has gotten silent, their laughter the only noise filling the air. Robert is watching them with the same dewy expression that I probably have on my face. I feel the sensation that someone is watching me and I look over to see Sean holding Avery on his hip. Avery is watching her parents with a look of disgust on her face due to boys currently having the cooties, but it is Sean who draws my attention. I feel waves of desire pulsating off of him, his penetrating gaze like an electrical current that is making its way off his body onto mine, causing the pool to all of a sudden feel like a hot tub. His beautiful full lips are slightly parted, making it seem like he’s having difficulty breathing. I zero in on those lips, wondering if they feel as soft as they look. My eyes make their way up to his, only to notice that he is not looking right at me, but at my chest. I look down to find the left triangle of my bikini pushed aside and being fisted into a small little hand.

  Brooks has exposed my breast, his tiny fist positioned so that it is covering up my nipple.

  I gasp out in horror and try to pry the material out of his hand, but his death grip on it only tightens and he starts to move his fists in anger at having to let go of what seems to become a comfort to him. I try to bring him closer so that his body is covering my now exposed nipple, but he starts to squirm away from me.

  “Let me help you with that.” Sean let’s go of Avery and makes his way toward me in determination to get a closer look, his eyes still glued to my breast.

  “No!” I cry out and turn my back to him. “Please let go, Brooks!” I try to say in a soothing voice, but soon his hands grab at my actual nipple and pull, causing me to yelp out in pain. Jenna races over to take Brooks, who happily frees himself from my boob in order to be in her arms. I pant out in pain as I quickly cover myself up, pressing my palm against the throbbing pain to make sure my nipple is still intact.

  “I am so sorry, Isla! I should have warned you that Brooks did that to me last week — hence why I went out and bought this new bathing suit.” Her new bikini top is a sports performance bikini top that wraps around her neck, leaving it impossible for any boob exposure. It is the same exact style that women volleyball players wear.

  “I am going to go change,” I whisper in mortification, not being able to look her in the eyes.

  I feel her hand on my shoulder, which forces me to glance at her. “Why don’t you just start your night off early?” Her look of sympathy makes me want to crawl into bed and never come out again.

  I nod my head and make my way out of the pool, refusing to look back at Sean, who I feel is watching my departure. I glance up to see Robert holding a towel out for me. He is biting on his lower lip to refrain from laughing, his look of ‘I told you so’ making me want to smack his smug expression off his face.

  “Fuck you!” I hiss at him, making sure my voice was low enough for only his ears. I tune out his laughter as I walk briskly into the house, grab an ice pack from the refrigerator and run to my bedroom to nurse my wounded nipple in what has turned out to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

  4

  Sean

  Brooks Harrington is my hero.

  Yes, babies can be heroes and his groping skills today gave me a front row seat to the unveiling of Isla’s silky, creamy, glorious breast. A stunning vision that has stayed with me well after I jerked off to the memory of it and all the things I want to do to it.

  I want to caress her beautiful bud of a nipple between my fingers.

  I want to squeeze the roundness of her breast to see if it fits my hand as perfectly as I imagine it will.

  I want to suck and lick her bud to see if it tastes as good as I think it will.

  Just thinking of her again makes me uncomfortably hard in the confine of my jeans. I go back into my bathroom to splash my face with cold water, hoping it will help me calm down. But after today, the only thing that is going to calm me down is finally tasting what I have been craving.

  Isla Jones needs to be mine.

  Long term? No, I just need a sampling and then be on my merry way as I think my time in Castle Harrington is coming to an end soon. I don’t even know why I have stayed as long as I have.

  Stop lying to yourself, Sean. You know exactly why.

  My why is that I am fucking lonely.

  And I want exactly what Cal has — a life partner who supports and worships me.

  There, I admit it.

  I know all about my reputation — they call me the Irish Playboy - and I have done nothing to squash those rumors. I have hung out with every new starlet that pops up in Hollywood. I dated the seasoned good girls of Hollywood and I sure have fucked my share of Hollywood royalty — not because I was interested in getting to know them.

  I fuck other women to pacify my ego.

  An ego that is damaged by the woman I love not wanting me.

  Getting laid by various women was never the initial reasoning for becoming an actor. My father was a famous politician back home in Ireland. Following in his footsteps was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to make a name for myself, not only being known as Alistair Lindsey’s son. So when fate put a casting agent in my path during a holiday break, I jumped at the opportunity he was willing to give me. And the domino effect began.

  Want to pay me to be a thief in a movie? Sign me up!

  Want to pay me to blow up shit? I will sign on the dotted line.

  Want to pay me to be the guy every woman falls in love with in a romantic comedy? I am ready, eager and willing.

  RomComs have become one of my favorite movies to shoot. They are usually short shoots, easy scripts to memorize, the female lead is always good-looking and they pay almost as much as the big blockbuster blow up movies.

  What I wasn’t expecting was wanting to actually become that guy.

  The asshole playboy who turns out to get his happily ever after.

  And that is exactly what I want.

  I was hoping Cora Gregory was going to be my happily ever after, but I don’t even recognize the woman she has become today. She has always been a little rough around the edges due to her unhappy childhood, but Cal and I were always privy to see the fun, adventurous and silly side to Cora. I knew she required to be center of attention, but I was always willing to give her that. I was hoping her crush on Cal was just a phase, especially when it was I who was always bailing her out of trouble, taking her out, giving her money when she said she was broke, buying her nice presents. I made my want for her crystal clear and when she told me she wasn’t ready, I told her I would give her time.

  But then the rumors of her sucking directors’ dicks to land roles reached my ears and I became enraged. I ignored her phone calls and refused to see her. I slept with any woman who smiled my way, hoping to make Cora jealous and realize what she is missing out on.

  A man who would love her unconditionally.

  A man who would take care of her forever.

  It wasn’t until Jenna came into Cal’s life that Cora changed for the worse. The light that I used to see shine in her eyes when she was happy is gone and is replaced with a dark, anxiety ridden edge to her. She is secretive, demanding and has created a horrible reputation for herself in the industry.

  As her friend, I am worried for her. But I have to stop making Cora a priority in my life and start making myself the priority.

  I have to stop trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.

  It’s time to let her go.

  Damn it if that is not easier said than done because all that woman has to do is give me a come hither look and my dick springs into action and I act like a love sick fucking fool. And that is another reason I have been staying at Cal’s for the last two months as well. Hiding here, trying to sort my feelings out when it pertains to her. When all three of us were filming our movie toget
her last year, it felt like old times while the cameras were rolling. But as soon as the director would call it a day, Cal went to his trailer where Jenna and the kids were waiting for him, leaving Cora and I alone together. We did everything together — eating our meals together, practicing lines together, going out. We were companions in every sense of the word except for the physical part. Not that I didn’t try, but all I ever got was a kiss. Still, I saw fleeting glimpses of the girl I fell in love with, giving my heart hope that she’s still in there and I can pull her out.

  But her obsession with Cal is making me realize that she was never mine to have.

  I stare at myself in the mirror after drying my face off. When the fuck are you going to wake up, Sean? If I want what Cal has, I need to start finding the right woman because clearly, Cora is not it. I owe it to myself to start investing some time into meeting someone new. But while I start searching, what is the harm in having a little fun with a beautiful woman who I already know and is living under the same roof as I am?

  I look at my watch to see that it is past dinner time. Jenna keeps the children on a pretty strict dinner and bedtime schedule. As I exit my bedroom to head toward the dining room, I decide that I will stay here until it’s time for Cal and I to leave on the press tour for our movie from last year. That gives me one month until I have to spend numerous amounts of time with Cora again. One month should give me enough time to work on ending any romantic feelings I have for her.

  One month is also enough time to woo Isla Jones into my bed.

  I arrive in the dining room to find Cal, Jenna, and their children almost done with their dinner. Not wanting to be questioned on my whereabouts, I quickly sit down and dive right into the plate that was left for me.

  “How are my girls doing?” I ask, looking at Avery and Jenna. I look around the room to see that Isla and Robert are missing from dinner. “Where is everyone?”

  “Who do you precisely mean?” Jenna gives me a direct look, her eyes daring me to say who I’m thinking.

  “Where’s Robert?” I give her an innocent smile, challenging her by raising my eyebrows. She rolls her eyes at me and continues feeding Brooks his pureed baby food that is neon green. I shudder at it, knowing that’s exactly what his diapers probably look like as well after consuming the homemade baby food Jenna makes herself. As much as I love Brooks, diapers are not my thing.

  “Uncle Robert went home,” Avery answers as she watches me cut into my skirt steak. Avery has become a vegetarian like her mother, the thought of eating animals making her turn up her cute little button nose at you. I deliberately cut my steak slower, slather the piece of meat in its juices before I bring it up to my mouth. Her eyes are as round as saucers, her face contorted in horror as I close my eyes and moan in pleasure at the deliciousness of it.

  “You are eating a cow, Uncle Sean,” she whispers and for a fleeting moment, I feel like an asshole for teasing her with my food.

  “Don’t worry, my little lass, I won’t be mooing anytime soon.” I give her a wink and look over at Cal to laugh with him, thinking he would find the whole thing funny, but instead his expression is one of murder at me for messing with his baby girl.

  “Avery, we don’t insert our opinions into other people’s lives, especially when it pertains to food,” Jenna chides and now I really am a bastard for getting her in trouble.

  “But Mommy, he’s eating a cow! I just love him so much that I don’t want him to get E. coli!” She hysterically exclaims, tears threatening to spill from her aqua eyes. We all can’t help but laugh at how adorable she is and that she even knows what E. coli means. She just gutted me with her sweetness, making me hope that one day I have a beautiful little girl who loves me as much as Avery does.

  “I am sorry, lass,” I softly say as I lean into her. I kiss her cheek and swipe away at the lone tear that slides down. “Do you forgive me? Because I love you so much and I promise I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

  She takes a shaky breath and sighs, showing signs of an actress in the making. “I forgive you,” she says seriously with a nod of her head. I bite my lip to keep my laughter at bay and pull her into my lap for a hug. I push my plate away from her so she wouldn’t have to look at my half eaten steak. Jenna stands up and hands Brooks to Cal while she starts to gather the dirty plates.

  “Avery, where is your nanny tonight?” I ask in a low voice, watching Jenna’s retreating back into the kitchen.

  “That is none of your business!” Jenna yells, not even turning back to look at me. Damn her superwoman hearing!

  “Isla gets Wednesday nights off if we are home,” Cal responds, his eyes questioning me.

  “But she has been here most Wednesday nights for dinner.” I rack my brain, trying to remember a Wednesday night I didn’t see her while I have been here and I come up empty. Unless she was traveling with Jenna and Cal, Isla is always at dinner with us. Even on Sundays, her day off.

  “She usually doesn’t take it off,” Cal shrugs, his attention on Brooks as he nuzzles underneath his neck in order to make him laugh.

  “She’s going out with Uncle Robert to get laid.”

  We hear a horrified gasp, signaling that Jenna’s arrival back into the conversation seems to be just as perfect as her daughter’s intrusion into other people’s conversations. I stare silently at Cal, who looks between Avery and Jenna, his eyes rapidly blinking, trying to process what he just heard come out of his precious daughter’s mouth.

  “Avery, it’s time to get ready for bed,” Jenna says, her voice calm, but her eyes wild with shock. She shakes her head no at Cal as she takes Brooks from him, silently commanding that he not bring it up when he looks as if he’s about to speak.

  “Okay, Mommy.” Avery kisses both Cal and I on the cheek goodnight and takes her mother’s hand to be led upstairs. They leave in silence but not before we hear Avery ask, “Mommy, what does ‘get laid’ even mean?”

  To my disappointment, I can’t hear Jenna’s response as they get farther away from the dining room. I lean back in my chair and look at Cal in bemusement as he just sits there with a dazed expression on his face.

  “I think I’m going to have to start dying my hair soon since I’ll be gray at a young age due to my daughter.” He shakes his head as we both are now able to laugh at the situation.

  “That girl is the best, but you are in a lot of trouble when she is older,“ I warn with sincerity. Avery is a beautiful child, who is going to grow into a gorgeous woman. With her looks and her mother’s sass, she’s a handful. God bless the poor future bastard who falls in love with her. Especially with Cal being her father. I’ve already heard him tell her that she’s not allowed to even like any boys until she’s twenty-one.

  “I know. Speaking about trouble, why all the questions about Isla?” Cal’s handsome face turns serious, his eyes demanding a response.

  “Isla and I are childhood friends, so naturally I’m going to be concerned about her whereabouts.”

  “I just find it interesting that after two months of being here, you’re finally showing some interest in her. Funny how that is coming about after the peep show my son gifted you of her left appendage.” I snort out in laughter at Cal’s high-end vocabulary for boob.

  “Your son is now my favorite out of your two children. I commend you for teaching him young about the appreciation we must show to women’s appendages by not covering them up,” I joke, her glorious breast still flashing across my mind. “In fact, I’m going to text Robert to find out where they are in order to save her from his encouragement to have sex with a stranger.” I take out my phone and text him.

  “If there’s anyone she needs saving from, it’s you.” I look up at Cal to see if he’s joking, only to find him dead serious. “Please Sean, stay away from her. Jenna likes her and the kids adore her. I don’t need her quitting on us just because she feels uncomfortable around you.” He rakes his hand through his hair and sighs. “Not to mention, Jenna will hate you.”

&n
bsp; “Jenna might already be starting to hate me.” I look down when my phone buzzes with a text back from Robert. They are at O’Malley’s, an Irish bar that used to be Jenna and Robert’s regular Wednesday night hangout when Jenna was single. I put my phone back in my pocket and stand up to leave, ignoring Cal’s warning. “I think I may be wearing out my welcome. I promise I’m only staying until we leave for the press tour.”

  “If you told us you wanted to move in, Jenna would be the first one contacting an architect to build you your own guest house,” he says wearily, standing up as well. “She loves you like a brother. We both do.” He comes around the table and gives me a hard brotherly slap on the back. “I’m happy to see you wanting to get out. You acting like a hermit these last couple of months has been unsettling.”

  “I just needed to re-charge my batteries after this last movie. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’m moving on with my life and everything is going to be great,” I say enthusiastically, trying to believe my own bullshit.

  “Just as long as you aren’t moving on with my nanny, then everything will be great.” He slaps me harder this time on the back, his warning stinging my shoulder blade. He turns around and heads in the direction of his bedroom. As I watch him leave, I wish I could promise him that I will stay away from her.

  But even if I did promise that, he’d know I would be lying as I have never been known to keep a promise.

  5

  Sean

  The crowd is loud and vibrant for a Wednesday night at O’Malley’s. The two-for-one drink specials and decent cover band belting out hits from the 80’s brings out the young, good-looking, work professionals looking to unwind after a tough day at the office.

  I wear my baseball cap low over my eyes, hoping I don’t get recognized as I make my way through the crowd to the bar. I don’t usually walk around with a bodyguard when I’m here in the States and I don’t want to have to start. I like my freedom and try to take advantage of it whenever I can. I signal for the bartender, order a Guinness, and scan the crowd while I wait for my drink. When I initially can’t spot Isla and Robert from the bar, I start walking around until I notice a group of men surrounding the pool table. I arrive over there just in time to see Isla lean over to take a shot, her breasts playing peekaboo out of her v-neck cut top. I watch as she narrows her eyes in concentration on the pocket she wants the ball to go into. She bites her lower lip as she quickly executes her shot and then celebrates her victory by hugging Robert. They walk over to their opponents to shake hands. One of their opponents holds her hand as he leans in to whisper something in her ear, his words making her laugh.