Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  “I hope you truly feel it’s worth it, Princess. Chat with you tomorrow.” He hangs up and I throw my phone down on the table in aggravation.

  After I finish transferring the money, I can’t help but go back and study those photos one more time. Sean is my last connection to Cal. I must keep him interested in me, even if that means having sex with him. Not that that would be so bad as Sean is very handsome. He might even be able to make me come for once.

  But he is no Cal.

  Sean has to stay in love with me, which leaves no room for him to be distracted by the likes of Isla Jones. It is time to start paying more attention to Mr. Lindsey.

  And if she ends up being added to the list of collateral damage, so be it.

  7

  Isla

  I think I can count on one hand how many times I have been hungover in my life and every morning after the night of indulgence, I vow never to drink again.

  This morning is no different.

  My eyelids feel unbelievably heavy, like they are weighted down. They want to open, but every time they do, a merciless sunbeam shoots straight into my retina, making the ache behind my brow intensify. My tongue is heavy and coated with last night’s remnants of toothpaste. It isn’t the enticing scent of coffee that has me getting up, but the raunchy smell of throw up coming from my hair. I slowly ease my body out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. I relieve my bladder and decide to take a nice, long hot shower. The steam of the shower helps clear my brain fog and memories from last night start streaming in.

  The feeling of how good Sean’s hands felt on my hips.

  The feeling of how wet my panties got with Sean’s hard erection pressed against my backside.

  The feeling of electric tingles shooting down my spine with the deliciousness of his breath on my neck.

  The overwhelming feeling of need to have his lips on mine.

  I ignore the urge to play with myself as my hands wash over my core and the rest of my body. Instead I focus on the fact that I need to ignore these feelings for Sean. For Sean Lindsey is a dangerous distraction that I don’t need in my life right now. Who am I kidding to think that I could have an emotionless liaison with him? One touch from him would lead to complete heartbreak. What if I do get together with Sean and it goes horribly wrong? I can’t afford to lose this job right now. This job came into my life at the perfect time and is a stepping stone to my future career of one day opening up my own school.

  Or so I thought.

  Lately, I have been wavering on if that is really what I want to do with my life, which leads me to question what would I do then if I don’t pursue what I thought was my dream?

  Don’t worry about this now, Izzy.

  I give my head a good shake and rinse the conditioner out of my hair as I give myself a mental pep talk. Focus on today and don’t worry about tomorrow. And today I need to focus on being the best role model and teacher I can be to the children.

  Speaking of Avery and Brooks…

  I turn off the shower and grab a towel since I realize I haven’t looked to see what time it is yet. Even though I get Wednesday nights off, I am usually back at their house and in my own bed in order to be up and ready by eight a.m., which is when the kids get up in the morning. There has only been one other time I have slept out on a Wednesday night and that was at Robert’s apartment, but he had me back at the house in plenty of time the following morning since he occasionally works out of Jenna’s house.

  You don’t usually have a set start and end time when you are a live-in caretaker. I just make sure I’m always around for whenever I’m needed. Most of the time I don’t even see the children in the morning until I join them for breakfast. Jenna is a very hands-on mother, always getting the children up, dressed and having most, if not all, meals with them. The only time I’m really alone with the kids, outside of home schooling them, is if she’s working or her and Cal decide to go out of town without them. That has only happened a handful of times.

  Dread starts to seep into my chest as I recall the sunlight blinding me this morning, leading me to think it might be getting closer to eight in the morning than I thought it would be. I walk into the room, grab my phone and scream as the screen says it’s nine o’clock in the morning.

  Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck!

  “Wake up, wake up!” I start yelling as I throw open the bedroom door and run into the living room, only to come to a screeching halt at the sight of Robert and Sean. Sean is standing in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee while Robert is sitting on the other side of him, slathering cream cheese on his bagel. Both men have a bemused, perplexed look on their faces at my commotion.

  “What are you both doing? We have got to get going! I’m going to get fired for being late!”

  “Is that the outfit you chose to take care of the children in today? I can guarantee Brooks will show off both of your lady bits dressed in that.” Robert nods to the towel wrapped underneath my arms before taking a bite out of his breakfast.

  I grip the towel tighter, becoming completely self-conscious about being nude underneath it. Sean’s intense stare on my body jumbles my thought process even more. “Of course I’m not going out like this! How long have you two been up and why didn’t you wake me up sooner?”

  Sean comes out of the kitchen, holding an extra cup of coffee for me. I grab it with my free hand and immediately take a sip, sighing in pleasure as the caffeine hits my taste buds. He gives me a sexy smirk at my reaction, which makes me scowl at him, not liking how hot he still looks in his clothes from last night. The man looks fresh as a daisy, whereas I’m struggling to keep my wits about me.

  “Here are your clothes from last night, washed and dried.” He scoops up my folded clothes that were on the counter and walks them into the bedroom for me since my hands are full at the moment. He comes back out, takes a bagel out of the bag and places it on a plate for me. “Stop worrying about getting fired. Jenna knows you’re with us. All she cared about was that you were safe.”

  “Jenna knows you’re with me? Ugh!” I moan in exasperation, not wanting to be the recipient of a lecture I know is now in my future from her. Jenna knows all about my childhood crush on Sean, courtesy of his big mouth. She has already warned me once not to waste my time on him because of Cora’s toxic hold on his heart. I can only imagine what she’s possibly thinking now.

  “I wasn’t going to lie to her. Besides, where else do you think she thought I was if not with you guys?”

  “Probably out hooking up with whores,” I mutter as I turn my back on them, walk into the bedroom, and slam the door shut. I grab my clothes off the bed and retreat into the bathroom, locking the door as it would be just like him to come after me and open the door without knocking. I quickly get dressed and comb my fingers through my hair, not bothering to try to find a blow dryer to dry it out. I check myself in the mirror, sighing at how terrible I look with red eyes and purple bags underneath them. I take a deep breath, praying that a nap is in my future today, and go back out to eat my breakfast.

  “Where did he go?” I ask in between bites of my bagel as I notice Sean is not there when I return.

  “He went to go get his car from O’Malley’s so we don’t have to walk,” Robert answers while looking at his email. I choose to ignore my heart screaming how nice that is and force myself to think of anything but Sean and of what transpired last night. Robert and I were having a good time before his appearance and I feel bad the night had to end the way it did.

  “Thank you for taking care of me last night and for washing my clothes. That shot really did a number on my stomach.” I wince as I can recall some of my time praying to the porcelain God.

  “I wouldn’t touch your nasty upchucked soaked clothes. I love you, but I don’t love you that much.” My eyes go wide as the realization hits me that Sean was the one who took care of me last night, not Robert.

  “Sean took off my clothes?” I whisper in horror, embarrassment starting to stain my cheeks crim
son.

  “No, I wouldn’t let him do that. I removed your clothes and put one of Jenna’s old t-shirts on you. Not that he didn’t try at first, but I told him it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to do so. The only thing he took off of you were your socks and shoes.”

  “Great, so now I have to thank him.” Showing Sean any kind of gratitude is the last thing I want to do right now, but it’s the right thing to do as he could have decided to stay at the bar himself instead of coming back with Robert to help.

  Damn him for being nice to me! Why couldn’t he have met someone else last night to take home?

  Robert watches me, a weary smile forming on his lips. “He was genuinely concerned about you last night, so yes, you owe him a thank you.” He stands up from the bar stool and starts to clean up. I finish my bagel and decide to help out by making the beds and cleaning any mess that we created. I want to make sure this place looks exactly how it was when we arrived last night to avoid any further trouble with Jenna. Jenna lets her best friend, Layla, and her fiancé, Chase, live in her condo when they come to town for long periods of time, so they would definitely report if the place was a mess.

  “Sean is downstairs waiting for us,” Robert announces five minutes later. I nod my head in acknowledgement and grab my purse. We do one more walk through of the condo to see if anything got left behind and then we lock up and leave.

  “Thank you again for another fun night off.” I break our compatible silence as the elevator descends to the main floor. I give Robert a hug as I truly appreciate him taking me under his wing and becoming my friend. Chicago would be very lonely if I didn’t have someone like him.

  “It’s always fun being your wingman.” He winks at me as we step off the elevator. “But Izzy, I was watching how Sean was looking at you. Be warned, that man has his sights set on you.” Robert’s serious tone is a far cry from his usually light and flirty one, which leads me to believe he doesn’t think me being involved with Sean is a good idea.

  “Thanks for the warning, but I can take care of myself,” I reassure him… or am I trying to reassure myself? “My guard is up with Sean and my relationship with Cal and Jenna is way too important for me to jeopardize. Don’t worry, my panties will forever stay intact and on my body when around Sean Lindsey.” I joke to Robert since he’s always saying that Sean is the master of disintegrating women’s panties with his smile.

  He throws his head back and barks out a disbelieving laugh. “Oh honey, somehow I doubt that. You have no idea what type of man you are up against.” He walks ahead of me to open the passenger door. Sean’s handsome face comes into view, looking like a rugged model in his sunglasses with that mega watt, sexy, signature smile of his directed at me.

  And just like that, he has deteriorated my confidence… and my panties.

  8

  Sean

  I really wanted to talk to Isla about last night, but the day provided little opportunity for alone time with her. As soon as we returned, Jenna whisked her and the kids away, but not before giving me her stink eye of disapproval. Cal was downtown for meetings and Robert was working from the main office, so I spent the day by myself at their house. I thought I was going to be bored, but I shocked myself by acting like an adult and being productive. I not only worked out in their home gym, but answered emails, read some scripts for potential movies and even made myself my own lunch, which sad to say, I haven’t done in a very long time. After an afternoon jerk off session, I decided to continue reading scripts while waiting for everyone to return home for dinner when the next thing I know, I’m waking up to a pitched dark bedroom. I blindly grope for my phone on the night stand, only to discover that it is nine o’clock at night.

  How the hell have I slept for five hours?

  I know I didn’t get much sleep last night, tossing and turning over my concern for the condition Isla was in. But I can’t remember the last time I ever took a nap, much less one so long.

  My stomach starts growling, reminding me that I haven’t eaten dinner, so I decide to go downstairs to see if anyone is home… and to raid the refrigerator.

  The house is silent as I make my way downstairs, which doesn’t surprise me since it’s past the kids’ bedtime. I check out the movie room to see if Cal and Jenna are watching a movie, but it’s empty. I refuse to go walking by their room, not wanting to hear any sexual animalistic noises coming from behind their closed door. I head toward the kitchen, wondering if anyone noticed my absence at all when a note on the refrigerator door grabs my attention:

  Dinner inside, Sleeping Beauty!

  Love, J

  I can’t help the goofy smile that comes across my face. Jenna has a heart of gold and even though she was pissed at me earlier, she’ll forever watch over me as if she’s one of my blood sisters.

  Cal’s one lucky bastard, but I knew she was a diamond in the rough the first moment I met her.

  Now it’s my turn to find my diamond in the rough.

  I take the leftovers out of the refrigerator and open the container. Doubt starts to creep in as I see their chef has attempted to make shepherd’s pie. The only shepherd’s pie I will eat is my Nana’s when I’m home in Ireland. Anyone else who isn’t from the motherland tempting to make it is rubbish.

  But, it’s late and I’m ravenous. So I place it in a bowl and warm it up in the microwave. I pour myself a nice, cold Guinness to go with it as I can only imagine how bland it’s going to taste. The microwave dings and I take out what now looks like mush. I grab a fork, take a big swig of my drink first, and decide to dive into my food.

  It’s one of the most delicious shepherd’s pie I’ve ever had.

  “Huh,” I say out loud to no one, impressed that Cal and Jenna’s chef knows how to make traditional shepherd’s pie. I finish it in five big bites, wash my dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I get ready to turn off the lights to the kitchen when something outside of the window catches my attention. I walk toward the window to get a closer look to find someone swimming laps in the pool.

  That someone being Isla… and then it dawns on me.

  Isla probably made that shepherd’s pie.

  Jenna has mentioned before that Isla has cooked some traditional Irish dishes for them.

  Damn, she’s hot, smart and can cook?

  Wanting confirmation, I walk to the patio doors to go visit her. This would also be the perfect time to discuss what transpired between us as I’m ready for a repeat performance.

  I stop at the ledge of the stairs as I see her swimming toward me. She’s swimming the breast stroke position, so I know she can see that she has company. As she gets closer to the stairs, she goes under the water and swims underneath until her hand touches the stairs. She loudly inhales for air as she breaks free from the surface of the water.

  “Did you make that shepherd’s pie?”

  “Why?” she asks as she pushes her hair that is clinging to her face behind her ears.

  “It was one of the best damn pies I’ve ever eaten.” I look her in the eyes and compliment her with sincerity.

  “You’re welcome. Now what are you doing out here?”

  “I wanted to watch you swim,” I raise my eyebrow at her, giving her a teasing smile.

  “Well, don’t. It’s creepy.” Before I can even respond, she dives back into the pool and starts swimming towards the deep end. I watch, admiring her firm ass bob in and out of the pool as she reaches the end and swiftly turns back around toward me. Her being alone in the pool gives her the upper hand at ignoring me, so I decide to take matters into my own hands.

  I start taking off my clothes and by the time she comes back up for air in the shallow end, I’m down to my skivvies and a wicked smile.

  “Wh… what the hell are you doing?” she stammers in between coughs as she accidentally swallows water due to her mouth being open in shock from the sight of me.

  “Joining you for a swim.” I slowly walk into the pool, not taking my eyes off her the whole time. She’s wearing a o
ne piece bathing suit that does nothing to hide the sexy curves of her body.

  “But you aren’t in a bathing suit?” Her eyes are wide with shock since I’m now completely submerged in and only a few feet away from her.

  “That has never stopped me before.” I inch closer to her, watching her eyes light up with desire as she looks up and down my body. I see her swallow when I stop directly in front of her. “I think we need to discuss last night.”

  Her head snaps up to attention, her eyes now focused on mine. “I don’t remember last night.”

  “I remember last night perfectly.” My eyes look down as she parts her lips and I slowly move past her to stand directly in back of her. “Let me refresh your memory,” I whisper seductively into her ear.

  She looks at me over her shoulder as I wrap my arms around her waist. She gasps as I bring her hard against my chest, her ass settling perfectly against my growing erection. I nudge my nose into the same spot from last night and exhale the breath I was holding, hoping she smelled as good as I remembered her smelling.

  She smells even fucking better.

  I rub my nose up her neck, causing her to shiver from desire. She wraps her arms around my forearms and leans her head back to give me better access. My lips brush against her ear lobe and she moans out in pleasure when I gently graze my teeth against the delicate skin.

  “Do you know I thought about you today? I remembered how your enticing scent drove my senses crazy. I remembered how perfect you fit in my arms last night while we danced. The anticipation of being able to touch you again made me come so hard. When my hand gripped and rubbed down my cock, I imagined what it would feel like being inside of you.”

  “Sean,” she meekly whispers, her voice laced with passion. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

  Yet she does nothing to push me away.

  I spin her around, press her against me and touch my forehead to hers, our breaths becoming one as we breathe hard into one another. Our lips are only inches away from touching. I look deep into her eyes and for the slightest of seconds, I hesitate. I lift my head away from her and search her face for any signs as to why we should stop and run away from each other. Yes, this is my childhood friend, but we’re more like two strangers standing here, deeply attracted to one another. Her hands are tightly gripping my biceps, her eyelids are heavy with lust. It’s crystal clear that she wants me just as much as I want her, but once this kiss happens, we will forever have crossed that fine line into unknown waters to an undefined relationship. And that is why I hesitate.