Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  “I know what I bring to our friendship, but what do you bring to our friendship?”

  “Excuse me?” Her voice has gained an octave and I can tell she is insulted, but strangely enough, I don’t care. I want to know what she thinks she brings to the friendship. “Have I done something to upset you, Sean?”

  “You have done many things that have upset me, Cora. Answer the question.”

  “I have been there as a constant companion for you, Sean. I have been there for you when you were lonely, needed a date or just wanted to hang out. Isn’t that what friends do?” She throws down her napkin in disgust and I notice she has barely eaten as well. Come to think of it, Cora has never really been a big eater. “What the hell is wrong with you tonight? This questioning of my friendship with you is quite upsetting.” Damn, if I don’t see tears start to glimmer in her eyes.

  Doubt starts to creep into me, making me question if I am being too hard on her. She has helped fill that void of loneliness whenever I needed someone around. There were many drunken nights where she took care of me when I needed help. What ulterior motive could she have had to do any of that?

  I still want to believe that it was all out of the small goodness of her heart. That I hold some small part of that heart, if anything as a friend.

  I sigh and signal the waiter to bring the check. “I am sorry, Cora. You are right.”

  “You ruined our dinner tonight, Sean. I was so happy to see you.” She shakes her head, takes her napkin and dabs at her wet eyes.

  She deserves a goddamn Academy Award for tonight’s performance.

  “You’re right, I did.” I pull out some cash and pay the bill for the food and wine we barely consumed. I stand up and wait for her as she slowly rises out of her seat. With her head held high and a small smile plastered to her face, she gracefully walks out of the restaurant like a gazelle, her body language screaming for people to stop what they are doing and watch her. We wave to the paparazzi as we briskly walk to our awaiting car.

  “Back to the hotel,” she snaps to the driver as he maneuvers us away from paparazzi that surrounded our car. Silence engulfs us as she turns toward her window, clearly not wanting to speak to me.

  I take out my phone to see if I have any text messages and am disappointed that I have none. I decide to text Isla, telling her I will be home shortly and that I would like to talk with her. I need to explain to her that nothing happened tonight with Cora.

  “Sean,” Cora says as she turns to me and grabs my wrist while I am holding my phone. “I forgive you for tonight. I think we need to start fresh and forget about our conversation at dinner. Why don’t you come up to my room for a drink and we can talk?” She gives me a seductive smile that for once does not seem to work on me.

  “I’m tired, Cora. It has been a long day and tomorrow will be another long day as well. I think we should just call it a night.” I check my phone to see if Isla has responded. Her lack of response makes me eager to get back home.

  The car pulls in the front of the hotel. I go to grab the handle of my door, when Cora’s hand stops me.

  “I’m sorry you aren’t your normal self tonight, Sean. Why doesn’t my driver take you back home?” She nods at the driver, who is watching her from the rearview mirror.

  “Are you cool with that, mate?” I ask when I catch his gaze in the mirror. It would be nice not to have to find another ride home.

  “Yes, sir!” he says before exiting the car to open Cora’s door.

  “Feel better, Sean, and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.” She leans in and gives me a hug, but before I can pull away, she plants a kiss on my lips that lingers longer than normal. Shocked by the touch of her lips, I wait to feel my dick stir, but nothing happens. She pulls back, caresses my cheek with her hand and exits the car.

  I give the driver the address to Cal and Jenna’s and as I do, I notice that he looks slightly familiar. I stare at him a moment longer, trying to recall where I have seen him before. His hat is pulled down low, almost to the point where I can’t see his eyes.

  “Do you work full-time for Cora as her driver?” Not being able to remember where I have seen him before is driving me crazy. Is Cora doing that well that she can afford a full-time driver?

  “No, sir. This is my first time driving Miss Gregory.” He doesn’t even look at me when he responds. I give up trying to remember as it doesn’t matter and look at my phone to see if Isla has texted me back. When I see she hasn’t, I continue to send her a string of text messages.

  Me: Almost home and we really need to talk.

  Me: Isla, are you awake? Please answer me if you are.

  Me: Dinner was innocent, I swear! Just two friends having a casual meal.

  Me: Please don’t be mad at me, Isla. I swear on the Harrington children, who you know I love as if they were my own, that NOTHING HAPPENED with Cora tonight. You’ve got to believe me.

  Me: Please talk to me, Isla!

  Twenty minutes go by and she still hasn’t responded. I put my phone back in my pocket, giving up on sending her anymore text messages. My reaction to Cora tonight leads me to believe that I am starting to get over my feelings for her and I do think it is all because of Isla. I can have in Isla what Cora can’t or won’t offer.

  Isla is warmth and light, whereas Cora is cold and dark.

  I was so used to being around Cora’s cold, dark, magnetic pull, that I didn’t know what it felt like to want someone who is like Isla. Someone who is selfless, puts other peoples needs before their own, who is sweet and genuinely kind. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same thing for Cora.

  Now that I have gotten a taste of what I can possibly have with Isla, why would I ever go back to wanting the polar opposite with Cora?

  My thoughts are interrupted as we pull up to the security guardhouse. The driver announces me, but I pull down my window instead so the guard can physically see that it’s me and hand him my license. He hands it back and opens the gate for us to pull forward. We get to Jenna and Cal’s gate, where I proceed to jump out of the car and press the code in so the driver doesn’t know it. I have no clue as to what kind of reputation this driver has and I am not taking any chances with him having their code. I get back in the car while the gate opens and he drives us through.

  “Thank you for bringing me home. I know it was not part of the original itinerary.” I hand him a large tip and look him up and down one last time as the nagging feeling that I know him from somewhere still has not left me. He says thank you, gets back into his car before I can ask for his card and drives off. I remind myself to ask Cora tomorrow why he looks so familiar as maybe she can shed some light on the mystery.

  The house is quiet and dark when I let myself in, indicating that everyone is asleep. I look at my watch to see that it is almost eleven at night. I still don’t have any text messages back from Isla. Because of that, I go straight to her room.

  I quietly tip-toe along the carpet to her room. I listen outside her door for the television, but hear nothing. I grab the doorknob and slowly try to turn it, only to find that it won’t budge.

  She locked her door.

  What a very smart girl.

  With a smile on my lips, I take out my phone and proceed to type out another text message to her while walking to my room.

  Me: I see you have locked your door tonight. Well played, m’lady! But a locked door will not deter me, Izzy. I hope you have sweet dreams… of me!

  I finish the text and sigh in contentment, already feeling better being under the same roof as her.

  11

  Cora

  As soon as I get into my hotel room, I text Danny, demanding that he call me back ASAP. Sean was so distant tonight and I feel my grip on him slowly slipping away from me. If I lose Sean, then Cal is gone to me forever. I need to up my game with Sean. I quickly send him a text, hoping he is not spending time with that bitch, Isla.

  Me: I can still taste you on my lips and I crave more. Until tomorrow… I know
my dreams will be filled with you. XOXO

  I roll my eyes while texting this utter nonsense. Men are such visual creatures and it is so easy to stimulate their brains via text messaging. Maybe I should send him a seductive selfie? I have never had to before, but I hear they are quite effective. I ponder this when my phone vibrates in my hand and I see Danny is calling me back.

  “Tell me you were able to get the code to their gate?” I start pacing back and forth, hoping that having Danny drive Sean home tonight was effective. I had it planned that Danny was going to act as my chauffeur in hopes that I could lure Cal or Sean into spilling some information for Danny to hear and use. Danny rented an SUV and dressed the part, even getting a hat and growing out a beard to help disguise his identity.

  “No, he was smart enough to jump out of the car and enter it himself. He completely blocked my view from seeing the numbers. I think he recognized me, Cora. Not directly, but he kept staring at me as if I looked familiar to him. If I look familiar to him even with this disguise, then I can’t be anywhere near Cal Harrington.”

  “Agh!” I scream out in frustration. “Fine, pay one of your other friends to be my driver. Have them set up a camera and video in the car.” If I can get Sean in the car with me again and seduce him, it will make one helluva a story and get little miss Isla to stop being a distraction.

  “It is safer this way, Cora. That way they can also hide and try to take photos of the party without getting recognized as well. What time do they need to pick you up?”

  “The party officially starts at seven o’clock, but I want to make an early appearance. Have them be downstairs at my hotel at six thirty. They better not be late and they better be dressed for the part, Danny!” I hang up on him before he can respond. I pour myself a glass of wine and take a big gulp, hoping the alcohol will start to calm my nerves. I take the glass over to my closet and look in satisfaction at the dress I bought for tomorrow — if you even want to call it a dress. It shows everything, leaving little to the imagination. The perfect dress to grab everyone’s attention to focus on me.

  Jenna will be an afterthought once I show up to Cal’s party.

  12

  Sean

  I was given strict instructions by Jenna to keep Cal away from the house so they can prepare for his surprise party. I arranged for a round of golf, lunch and sailing on Lake Michigan under the pretense that it was Philip demanding a boy’s day of fun while he was in town. Cal would have no problem turning me down, but he wouldn’t turn Philip down. Fortunately, the weather cooperated for all of our outdoor excursions and we had a fun day together.

  We drop Philip off at his hotel and I notice that it isn’t even six o’clock yet. Jenna didn’t want me to bring Cal home until seven. I scramble to think how I can keep him occupied for one more hour but nothing sounds convincing.

  “Let’s get something to eat, because I’m starving. Where’s a good hot dog joint so I can try one of these famous Chicago dogs?”

  He looks at me with an amused smile and gives the driver a name of a restaurant to go to. “Will this just be a snack, because I’m sure there will be plenty of food at the party?”

  Shit, how does he know?

  I decide it’s best to play dumb since he might be trying to trick me into revealing details. “What are you talking about? What party?”

  “For the safety of my family, I’m told who comes in and out of my household at any moment by the guards at the gatehouse and the private security I hire to sit outside of my house all day long. Naturally, I put two and two together with the number of vendors that have been arriving all day today.”

  “You still spy on Jenna?” I ask incredulously. “How do you even get away with that without her being mad at you?”

  “Jenna has learned that everything I do is for her and the children’s best interest. She trusts me completely and since she has nothing to hide from me, she isn’t bothered by it. Half the time I think she even forgets since she doesn’t see where the security is positioned. We still get the occasional death threat, so she’s more than willing to let me take whatever steps I deem necessary to keep my family safe.”

  “Wow.” I’m stunned speechless at the measures Cal takes for his family’s safety. “Can you at least act surprised so Jenna doesn’t think I told you?”

  “Of course I can. I’m told I’m a pretty decent actor,” he jokes, playing down the fact that he has won an Academy Award already. “What time did she say we had to be back home?”

  “She wants us back at seven o’clock. I must warn you that I invited Cora by accident. So do me a favor and please ignore her, because I promised Jenna I would keep her away from her and the kids. Since you barely ever leave Jenna’s side, can you make sure you mingle with your guests without Jenna for a little bit?” I plead, really not wanting Cora to cause any scenes, because I know she will if she doesn’t get any attention from Cal.

  “No, I don’t think so. Why should I deprive myself of my fiancée’s company in order to satisfy Cora?“

  “Cal, you sound like one of those pathetic men who are pussy-whipped by their woman. Don’t be one of those blokes,” I joke, but my smile quickly fades as I see anger radiating out of Cal’s eyes.

  “Jenna and our children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They make me want to be a better man. They push me to be that better person, which only makes me a better actor and director. My life doesn’t function without Jenna. She’s my partner, my soulmate.” He stares out of the window while he continues to talk. “Life is precious, Sean. She can be taken away from me in a blink of an eye. I don’t want to be without her for even a second out of the day.”

  “Okay, Cal, I’ll think of some other way to keep Cora at bay.” I shove my hand through my hair, wishing I never opened my big mouth in the first place to hear his disgusting lovey-dovey speech.

  He shakes his head, his tone laced in disappointment. “You don’t take me seriously, because you can’t understand what this feeling is. You won’t ever understand with someone like Cora. She will never be a true and equal partner to you. She will never treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I wish you’d open your eyes and start seeing that.”

  “I am starting to see that, Cal. After all these years, she still wants you. It has always been you!” I can’t hide my disgust at knowing I’ve always been second best to Cal in Cora’s eyes. We’ve actually never talked about Cora and how she feels about him, or me.

  “I’ve never given her any reason for it to be me, Sean. There was only that one incident in the bathroom years ago that you thankfully interrupted. I don’t even know how we got into that bathroom, because she kept refilling my drink to the point where I was ready to pass out. Other than that, I have always just tried to be a big brother to her. You must know that, Sean.” I stare at him in silence, not ready to respond. “Did you ever doubt my loyalty to you, Sean? Did you really believe I would be with her knowing how you felt about her?”

  “No, I never doubted your loyalty, Cal,” I sigh, tired of the topic of Cora and how she’s wrong for me.

  “Do you want what I have, Sean? Do you want to have a soulmate in your life?” He questions me, staring into my eyes to see if I will tell the truth or lie to him.

  “Of course I do, Cal,” I quietly confirm since I do want what Cal has. I’m green with envy with what he has with Jenna and I know I’ll never get that from Cora. Even if she did want me, she’s too selfish of a person and would demand that I treat her like a Queen, but never give the same treatment back. It would never be an equal partnership with her.

  “Then let Cora go. Forever. Cut all ties from her and wish her adieu.” At first, I think he’s joking, but there’s no playfulness or jesting in his stern facial expression. His aqua eyes are cold and emotionless.

  “Don’t you think that’s a little harsh, Cal? We’ve been friends since we were fifteen years old. You know how horrible her mother is, how hard her childhood was. What good would it do for her
if we sever all ties from her?”

  “That’s just it, Sean, it shouldn’t be just about her, but about all of us. About you! What does she bring to the table as your friend? A buddy when you are lonely? She craves attention and demands she gets it. She isn’t even a nice person — not to you, not to me, not even to her own mother. She should be happy for me that I have found someone who loves me unconditionally for me and not for my fame and fortune, yet she disrespects Jenna every time she sees her. I can’t have that toxicity in my life. After this press tour for our movie, I’m done with Cora and you should consider doing the same, especially if you want to have a serious relationship with anyone else.”

  I know he’s right, but the thought of cutting Cora completely out of my life is hard to swallow. I know she’s wrong for me, but that doesn’t mean I want to hurt her by ostracizing her. Fortunately, I don’t have to make this decision tonight since the focus of the evening is all on Cal.

  “What are your intentions with Isla?” Cal demands, bringing up another topic of conversation that I prefer not to have. Isla never responded to my texts and she refused to look at me this morning while at breakfast.

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I just know that I am having a hard time staying away from her. I think about her the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. We haven’t had sex yet, but it is imminent.” I glance over at him and see his jaw tense up.

  “Any chance I can convince you that this is a bad idea? That you need to think of her heart that you are going to break? How awkward it will be for her to see you after you have your way with her and then leave her?”

  I wince at the harshness of his words. “I don’t plan on loving and leaving her, Cal.”

  “Really? Then what are your plans? Marrying her? Of course not,” he responds when I don’t answer him right away. The car stops in front of a famous Chicago hot dog restaurant, exactly what I was wanting before this conversation started.