Her Last Secret

by P L Kane

  ‘Yeah, well …’ Matt shook his head. ‘That’s twice in one day, got to be a record for you, hasn’t it? You’re going the right way to get banged up again.’

  Reminded of the last time he’d actually spoken with his friend, Jake rubbed his chin and said, ‘Look, I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to say, y’know, sorry. For y’know …’

  Matt flapped his hand, the blokeish apology accepted. ‘Let’s just forget about it, shall we?’ He paused, then said, ‘So, you and Sam Ferrara, eh?’

  ‘Don’t you start!’ Jake muttered.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ Matt clapped him on the arm. ‘How’re you holding up, anyway, mate?’

  Jake shrugged. ‘To be honest, I’m not all that sure.’

  ‘You look to me like someone who could use a drink,’ Matt told him, then nodded at the teapots and jugs on the table. ‘A real drink. Can’t say that I blame you.’

  And there was he thinking Julie knew him better than anyone. ‘Definitely,’ admitted Jake.

  ‘I’ve got the day off tomorrow, so what say we have a few jars tonight? We can drink to Jordan’s memory.’

  ‘That sounds …’ Jake peered across the room to where Matt’s wife was talking to a woman with a blue-rinse. ‘What about … I don’t want to cause any trouble at home.’

  ‘Katherine’ll understand. I’ll square it away with her.’ The way Matt spoke, it sounded like he could use the drink just as much as Jake.

  ‘All right,’ said Jake, returning the clap on the arm. ‘You’re on. Thanks.’

  ‘My pleasure.’ Matt made to walk off in the direction of his wife, no doubt to do that squaring away he was talking about, but stopped after a couple of steps and turned back. ‘Oh, and do me a favour, will you?’

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Jake.

  ‘Try not to get into any fights between now and then.’

  Jake hung his head. ‘I think I can just about manage that.’

  Matt smiled, then left him alone. Which was how he’d felt most of the day actually, alone, even when people had been around. Even with Sam there. It was how he’d felt for most of the last couple of weeks …

  Alone with his thoughts. Thoughts about Jordan.

  Jake decided to try a sausage roll or two, see if they really were a good distraction.

  Chapter 17

  It probably wasn’t a good use of police resources, and if he found out Channing would give him another bollocking, but for once Matt really didn’t give a shit.

  After the funeral he asked Linda Fergusson if she’d swing by his house in a pool car and give him a lift to Jake’s hotel, and from there to the pub. She’d been more than happy to, on her way home from dealing with a case of domestic abuse.

  ‘How was the funeral?’ she’d asked him as he got in. Linda had been keeping tabs on the case since she’d finished up at the Allaway residence. Or, more accurately, Greg Allaway had ‘asked’ her to leave.

  ‘Had to stop Jake from starting a fight at the wake,’ Matt told her.

  ‘Let me guess, the new husband?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Guy’s a total prick,’ she stated.

  ‘Funny, that’s exactly what Jake said.’

  ‘How I’ve never been called out to a domestic at that place, I’ll never know,’ she said, glancing over.

  ‘Julie seems happy with him,’ Matt said, but he didn’t know if he was trying to convince Linda or himself.

  ‘Hmm,’ was her only reply.

  Jake was waiting outside the hotel, having changed into jeans, a maroon jumper and his jacket. ‘Hop in,’ Matt called through the passenger window he’d opened a crack. ‘You remember Linda.’

  ‘Hello again,’ said Jake as he got into the back, but Matt could see he was trying not to think about the last time he’d seen the FLO.

  ‘We were just discussing your favourite person in the world,’ Matt told him, twisting round in the seat. When Jake looked confused, he said, ‘Greg.’

  ‘Oh,’ breathed out Jake wearily. ‘Him.’

  ‘Jesus, whatever does she see in that guy?’ asked Matt.

  ‘She says he’s different when they’re on their own.’

  ‘I bet he’s not,’ said Linda, pulling out into traffic. ‘I’ve seen his type before. They’re never different.’

  ‘That’s comforting,’ Jake said to her.

  ‘I … Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to …’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Jake assured her. ‘Julie’s a grown woman. She makes her own decisions, her own choices.’

  ‘You’d be surprised how many grown women make the wrong ones,’ Linda said sadly.

  Matt thumbed across at their driver. ‘Just come from a household where the partner’s abusive.’

  ‘Right,’ said Jake, then lapsed into silence. Matt supposed there was nothing really to say to that.

  ‘But anyway, I don’t want to spoil your day …’ Linda closed her eyes and opened them again, remembering what they’d been doing earlier, where they’d been. ‘Oh shit … I … I’m sorry … I meant your evening.’ She looked across at Matt, embarrassed, then flashed Jake an apologetic smile. ‘I’m not usually this … I’ll shut up now.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Jake repeated. ‘Really.’

  She let out a sigh of relief. ‘So, where am I taking you two gents?’

  Matt directed her to a place a little out of town, somewhere a bit quieter than Redmarket itself and in the direction of where Linda lived so he wasn’t putting her out too much.

  ‘Oh yes,’ she said when Matt told her the name of the establishment, The Peacock. ‘Pretty new, that place. Nice family pub …’ Linda stopped again, probably thinking she’d put her foot in it once more – Jake no longer had a family to speak of – then carried swiftly on, hoping nobody had noticed. ‘They do good food in there. Their steak and ale pie is gorgeous.’

  ‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ said Matt, who’d only been there a couple of times himself and never to eat; one of those places that was all pine and red velvet, and way too clean to have been around for long. From the back he heard Jake’s stomach rumbling. ‘I think we have one vote for it.’

  ‘Yeah, sorry about that. I couldn’t really face much of the food this afternoon,’ Jake said. Another awkward silence followed, and Matt was glad when they finally pulled up at their destination.

  ‘Here we are, then,’ said Linda.

  ‘Thanks again. I owe you one,’ Matt told her.

  ‘I’ll hold you to that,’ she replied with a smile. ‘Have a nice … I mean enjoy your …’ Linda gave up trying to reword it and just said goodbye, waving to them as they got out.

  ‘She seems nice,’ Jake said to Matt once she was gone.

  ‘Yeah, she is.’

  ‘There’s not anything …’ Jake let the sentence hang in the air and it took Matt a second to realise what he was trying to say.

  ‘What, me and Linda? God, no. Not that she’s not … I mean she’s great, but … I’m happily married, thanks.’

  Jake nodded. ‘Just asking.’

  ‘She is single, though,’ Matt added.

  His friend held up his hands. ‘Cheers, but I’m good. Bad enough my ex is trying to pair me up.’

  ‘You could probably do worse than Sam,’ Matt told him, as they made their way to the door. ‘Bit of a livewire, mind.’

  ‘And Bannister’s lawyer,’ Jake reminded Matt.

  ‘Yeah. But you two have been hanging out, right?’

  ‘Sort of,’ Jake admitted. ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘Always is, mate. Always is …’

  ‘But we’re definitely just friends.’

  He held the door open for Jake to go inside first. ‘Katherine works for her firm, you know.’

  ‘Your wife?’

  Matt nodded. ‘Does their accounting and such.’

  ‘And was she, y’know, okay with you coming out tonight?’

  ‘Yeah, sure,’ he answered, recalling the brief conversation about it
earlier on. Katherine had been totally fine with it, saying that she had some work to catch up on anyway. Was she even bothered these days whether he was around or not? Depended on if the gutters needed doing, he supposed. What was that he’d been saying about being happily married again? He thought about Linda then, about what Jake had been asking … Wasn’t as if it hadn’t crossed his mind, was it? And was there more than just a friendship vibe there? Was that what Jake had been picking up on? It didn’t seem to bother Katherine in the slightest that she’d been the one collecting him, but then would she even notice if Linda had turned up stark naked at the front door? ‘She always is.’

  ‘She makes her own decisions.’

  ‘You’d be surprised how many grown women make the wrong ones …’

  Men too. He wouldn’t do that anyway, sacrifice his marriage, his own family just for a fling with Linda – not after everything.

  Julie, though. You might sacrifice it all for Julie … Matt hated himself for even thinking that, on today of all days. And it wasn’t true – his family was everything to him. He felt bad now for those thoughts about Jake’s ex.

  Jake, who’d been so quick to remind him that Julie didn’t think of him that way – never had. Jake, who’d had it all and thrown it away. And Greg, that knobhead of a man she’d chosen after Jake had left …

  He realised he was miles away, that his friend was actually speaking to him now they were at the bar. ‘What … Sorry?’

  ‘I said what would you like?’

  Matt flapped his hand again, trying to wipe the guilty look from his face; he’d always been quite good at doing that. ‘First round’s on me. It was my idea after all.’ He clapped his hands together. ‘So, what’ll it be?’

  ***

  It was almost last orders before Matt even looked at the clock on the wall.

  They’d found a corner booth and had been steadily drinking for nearly four hours, sampling the finest real ale and spirits The Peacock had to offer. Relaxing in each other’s company again, the years falling away. They’d even tried out those pies Linda had so highly recommended, which were as good as she’d claimed, they’d had to admit.

  Matt had started out by asking if Jake’s job were okay with the time he was taking off.

  ‘Yeah, they said take as much time as I need here. I think they reckon they owe me; they’ve certainly had enough airtime out of me lately. Besides, I was due some leave. I can be a bit of a workaholic.’

  Matt could understand that; just from chatting to him, he could tell there didn’t seem to be much else in his friend’s life.

  ‘I was planning on spending it working on my short film.’

  ‘Film?’ asked Matt.

  ‘Yeah, it’s nothing much.’ Jake went on to tell him the details of it, the subject matter about young people, the acting students he was going to use for it. His eyes lit up when he talked about it all, but also grew sad again when the link was made to his own situation. Matt had to wonder whether he was doing it to try and figure out the youth of today, or even support them in some way. What a pity he hadn’t been able to do that sooner, then he might still have been on speaking terms with his daughter and his marriage might not have fallen apart.

  ‘I expect you’ll be heading back soon, though. It’s all over here bar the shouting … and the trial.’

  ‘Yeah, I expect,’ said Jake, but didn’t sound convinced. Matt let it drop though.

  A match on the TV in the background gave them a chance to change the subject to playing football themselves when they were kids. It seemed a cliché now, but the whole ‘jumpers for goalposts’ and finding patches of waste ground for a kick around really was how it had been.

  ‘Do you remember, there used to be that really gangly kid who hung around … what the hell was his name?’ said Matt.

  ‘Robson … Robinson?’ Jake suggested.

  ‘We always stuck him in goal because he used to trip over his feet if he was running, would always end up hurting himself.’

  ‘Mind you,’ said Jake, draining what was left of his pint at the time, ‘he was pretty bloody good as a goalie, wasn’t he? Could get to the ball wherever you kicked it. No wonder we never really scored many. Whatever happened to him?’

  Matt shrugged. ‘Probably ended up playing professionally or something.’

  Jake chuckled and it was nice to see. Nice to be able to cheer his friend up, to lighten what had probably been one of the blackest days of his entire life.

  ‘We were always trying to get Jules to be the crowd, stand on the sidelines and cheer us on,’ Jake said.

  ‘But she just wanted to play. Bit of a tomboy when all was said and done, wasn’t she?’

  Jake nodded and smiled, recalling the days when everything had been so simple. When they didn’t have a care in the world outside of saving spending money for sweets (or nicking them, Matt reminded him at one point), playing out till the sun went down.

  ‘Even sometimes after that,’ said Matt. ‘I remember your mum having to come and drag you back home a few times.’

  ‘It seemed safer back then somehow,’ Jake said.

  ‘Yeah …’ Matt had changed the subject again before it got too maudlin. ‘Hey, do you remember that really hot summer? Not sure what year it was, but people were passing out in the classrooms at school, during exams.’

  ‘Oh, right!’ said Jake. ‘I do … I lost my virginity that year!’ he said with a laugh.

  ‘What? You never told me that!’

  ‘Why would I?’

  ‘To show off, why else?’ said Matt with a grin.

  ‘Yeah, well … some things are kind of private, aren’t they?’

  ‘I guess they are.’ Matt tried not to think about who Jake had lost it with, Jake and Julie together that summer and what they’d got up to behind his back. Hiding things … A time when he’d thought he still stood a chance with her, when they were the Three Musketeers, or Amigos or whatever, Jake had snuck in there first.

  No, she only ever thought of you as a friend, remember? He’d known it all along, but had kidded himself. Hadn’t stopped him being jealous when he found out, of course. Didn’t stop him feeling jealous now. Stupid, because it was so long ago, and things were different today; a lot of water under the bridge and all that. He also remembered feeling like it was a kind of judgement on them, that it served them right when Julie had fallen for Jordan. All the trouble it had caused … But they’d come through it stronger than ever. Built a family together and been happy for a long time (happier than you’ve ever been?).

  Knowing all that had been ripped apart didn’t give Matt any pleasure. It just made him sad, felt like such … such a waste.

  ‘If I remember rightly, though, you had a bit of thing with that twin.’

  Matt came back to the here and now, but had no idea what Jake was talking about. ‘Twin?’

  ‘You remember, she had a brother who was always looking out for her. Helen, I think her name was … Yeah, Helen and Carl.’

  ‘Oh bloody hell, yes. I remember her now! We never had a thing, though.’

  Jake frowned. ‘Didn’t you? I could’ve sworn …’

  ‘She liked me, I think. But you could never get her away from Carl. And he was a big bugger, I remember that. I remember him chasing me once until I lost him down by the canal. She’s probably living somewhere with him now, and he’s still seeing off the potentials. Poor cow.’

  ‘God,’ said Jake. ‘Funny how things turn out, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Matt agreed.

  ‘I mean, I never would’ve pegged you for the force. Far too shady a character.’ Jake smirked.

  ‘And I never would’ve thought you’d be the next Steven Spielberg, yet here we are.’ Matt raised his glass. ‘To unexpected outcomes.’

  Jake raised his own drink and chinked it against Matt’s. ‘To unexpected …’ The smile fell from his face. Once again the spectre of why he was back here had reared its head. The unexpected outcome of his daughter’s de
ath. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea, after all.

  Matt went up to buy more drinks, clapping his friend on the shoulder as he passed by. When he returned, he had with him two large glasses of whiskey with ice. He sat down and raised his glass again. ‘I said we’d toast Jordan’s memory, so …’

  Jake nodded, his eyes watering as he clinked for a second time. ‘Cheers mate.’ He knocked back the drink, then got up to buy another. They continued with the spirits, only now the topic moved back to the case, the investigation into Jordan’s death – not that there seemed to be one anymore.

  ‘It’s like I said, all over bar the shouting,’ Matt told him, slurring slightly and sipping the fiery liquid he had in his hand. ‘Don’t worry, Bobby will be going down for this for a long time.’

  ‘Sam … Sam thinks he’s innocent,’ Jake told him, slurring himself.

  Matt flapped a hand again. ‘Nah. We got him bang to rights.’ He narrowed one eye and looked at his friend. ‘And what do you think? You’re the one who went for him when you saw him. Don’t tell me you think he’s innocent, too?’

  ‘I … I …’ Jake shook his head. ‘It’s just that she seems so sure, in spite of everything. In spite of what I read.’

  ‘Yeah, well. Maybe she’s got a thing for younger men,’ Matt offered, and noted the way Jake bristled at that. Definitely just friends, my arse, he thought to himself. ‘You should stick with your first instincts, not let other people get you turned around.’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘Hold on, hold on …’ Matt raised his hand, realising he’d missed an important part of the conversation. ‘Back up a bit. You said “in spite of what I read”. What do you mean? In the papers or whatever?’

  Jake looked sideways, sheepishly. In fact, he looked anywhere but at his friend, and didn’t say a thing.

  ‘It’s not Sam’s notes, because she doesn’t think Bobby’s guilty. So, come on … Where did you read something about him, Jake?’

  Silence again.

  ‘Is it the same place those numbers came from?’ asked Matt. He might not have intended to join the force, had surprised his friend by doing so, but he was a detective after all. ‘Channing was going on about those for ages after we brought you in. Like a dog with a bone. Where did you get them from, Jake?’