Symbiosis: A Vampire Psycho-Thriller

by Louise Atkins

  ‘No, no. I’m not going anywhere. Come in. Please.’ He reached towards her, but did not dare touch her. He held the door open. Emily dropped her eyes as she passed him. He shut his too and breathed deep. There it was, that scent, sharpened by the rain. Unmistakable.

  ‘You’re wet,’ he said. There was a good opening line.

  ‘It’s raining.’

  ‘Yes. Let me get you a towel.’

  ‘No. It’s okay.’

  ‘Let me take your coat at least.’

  Emily shrugged and removed it. Lucas took it, resisting the urge to curl his fingers into the material that had been next to her warmth.

  ‘Sit down. Can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee?’

  ‘Tea. Thanks.’

  What the hell was he doing? Lucas clattered mugs in the kitchen. Tea or coffee? He didn’t want tea or coffee, he wanted her. The ache for her hadn’t diminished in the two weeks they had been apart. Then, to get that message out of the blue, from Gabriel which had simply told him to smarten himself up as he had a visitor coming. Lucas had assumed it would be Gabriel himself. The message had been the first contact they had had since their fight. Still, Gabriel knew him too well – he had been a mess. Hadn’t been bothering with anything much, functioning was enough. How Gabriel had known about Emily, he didn’t know. Didn’t care. He was just grateful.

  But what did she want? Did she want what he did?

  He carried the mugs back into the living room. She was perched on the edge of the sofa, barely resting on it, she certainly didn’t look relaxed. Maybe this wasn’t good.

  ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming here, to your flat, I mean. Gabriel gave me the address.’

  Now it made sense.

  ‘No, not at all.’ Lucas stood at the window, leant against it, sipped at too hot tea. What could he say next? ‘So, how are you? How’ve you been?’

  ‘Okay.’ Emily said. ‘You?’

  ‘Okay, I guess.’ She looked up at him then, but said nothing. ‘I saw Simon Jones was officially helping with the HeadHunter enquiries.’ Why had he said that?

  ‘It’s because of him that I’ve come. Because of something he said.’

  Her hands holding her tea were trembling. Was she scared? Scared of what she’d come to say? And then he knew.

  ‘If you’ve come to say you’re back together with him, then I appreciate the effort you’ve made, but I could’ve lived without that knowledge.’

  Emily laughed.

  ‘No, Lucas, I …’ She stopped. ‘I’m not with him. I don’t want him.’

  ‘Then why are you here?’ He couldn’t play around like this. She was awakening him once more. That essence of her was driving at his senses.

  She took a deep breath and said,

  ‘I want to know why you didn’t tell me. About being a vampire.’

  He was silent. There was nothing he could say that would make that right.

  ‘Emily, I… I don’t know. I know I should have. I meant to, but you assumed I was like you, and I was having such an amazing time, and it got harder and harder, and I was scared.’ He stopped, before he said too much.

  ‘Scared? Of what?’

  ‘Scared of losing you.’

  ‘But …’

  Lucas crossed to her, knelt before her.

  ‘Emily, you’re so lovely, beautiful. Alive.’ He reached out, caressed her cheek. She caught his fingers, pressed them to her face. ‘You shouldn’t be with someone like me. I had my life. Someone like you shouldn’t be with me.’

  He wrenched his hand away. Went back to the window and stared out at the tears of rain. He had to stay strong.

  ‘You’re just a person who doesn’t eat and can’t go out in the day.’

  ‘No. Don’t ever make that mistake, Emily. I’m a monster. We all are. All my kind.’

  ‘You’re wrong.’ Her voice was quiet. ‘I love you. I want to be with you.’

  ‘No. No, you don’t. You can’t. I won’t let you.’

  ‘It’s not a choice, Lucas. I can’t help it.’ She stood up, ‘But I can see it was a mistake, coming here. I’m sorry. I thought I needed to know why you kept it such a secret, but actually, I think I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. And now, well, I guess, I’ll go.’

  ‘Emily …’

  ‘I’ll get my own coat. And, like I said, I’m sorry. I won’t bother you again.’

  ‘Don’t go.’ She halted, her back was to him and she did not turn. She gathered her coat.

  He could tell she was crying. He wanted to kiss her.

  ‘I don’t care that you’re a vampire. I wouldn’t have cared, right from the start.’

  ‘But I care.’

  There was silence

  ‘I died, Emily. So many years ago. You don’t need to be part of something like that.’

  ‘Don’t you think that’s up to me? To make my own choice?’

  ‘No. You can’t. You don’t know what it’s like. All this – it’s borrowed time. It’s not mine. I can’t give you everything, anything, that you deserve.’

  She turned to face him. ‘And how much of this borrowed time have you had then?’ Her voice had lightened, her tears slowed.

  ‘One hundred vampire years.’

  That stopped her. He’d known it would.

  ‘That’s not just borrowed time, Lucas. That’s lifetimes.’ He shrugged. She paused, and then said quietly. ‘And I suppose you’ve been in love many, many times in all those hundred years.’

  ‘No. Just once.’

  ‘Once in all that time? And when was that? Fifty years ago? Seventy? Ninety?’

  Lucas could see fire fleck her eyes. That was good. That was easier. But not if he told her the truth.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he answered.

  ‘Yes. Yes it does. It matters to me. Once in a hundred years. What sort of man are you? How could you be so cut off from humanity?’

  ‘Because I’m not human. Not anymore. Not for a long time.’

  ‘But you were, Lucas, you were. So tell me, please.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Can’t? Can’t you even remember?’

  ‘No. It’s not that.’

  ‘Then what? You’re afraid of hurting me? It’s too late for that. Tell me.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘You won’t,’ she countered.

  ‘Okay, I won’t.’

  ‘Then I might as well leave.’ She moved away from him. Clenched her coat around herself. ‘Clearly I was just another what… fling? Distraction? Amusement?’

  ‘No, Emily… Please.’

  The door was open. She was through it. And was gone.

  He stood, stared at the space she had left. Was he really going to let her go? Was this to be another death for him? Emily loved him. Despite everything.

  ‘Emily, stop.’ She’d not quite made it to the lift when he called her. ‘Please.’ She halted, turned her tear streaked face back to him, but came no closer.

  ‘Why, Lucas? What’s the point?’

  ‘Because it’s you.’

  ‘Me? What’s me?’

  ‘It’s you. You’re the only person that I’ve loved.’

  He approached her, took her hand and led her back to the flat.

  Once inside, door firmly closed, Lucas felt suddenly awkward, like he’d said too much, given too much of himself away.

  Emily saved him.

  ‘In all that time …’ she began. He allowed himself a smile, caressed her cheek.

  ‘Yes. Just you. There have been other people that I’ve liked of course.’

  He smiled at her, lifted her chin so her eyes met his, so she could see the light she’d put there.

  ‘Of course,’ she echoed.

  ‘I mean, a hundred years is a long time …’

  ‘Indeed it is,’ Emily agreed, ‘But still, in all that time …’

  Lucas raised his eyebrows in reply, shrugged his shoulders. ‘Can I do something I’ve wanted to do, no, needed to do, since
you first walked in?’

  She pulled away from him slightly, not really disguising the way her face fell.

  ‘Sure. I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I guess I wasn’t thinking straight. It was a bit rude just to turn up and …’

  ‘Emily,’ Lucas laughed gently. ‘It’s just this …’

  He pressed his lips to hers and led her into the bedroom.

  Fifty Four

  The time has come, at last, for you to find out what I am. The hunter and the hunted. Which is which, and, which am I?

  I again offer you what I did at the start of our journey together…

  Come with me. See what I see. Kill what I kill.

  It’s been a while since you’ve seen me dedicate another’s life to my cause. I think this may become my favourite kill to date, simply because you will be there beside me. Don’t mistake me – the isolation of my work so far has been liberating, but there’s nothing quite like an audience.

  Even I have had to pay heed to circumstance and wait for my next victim. Too few on the streets after the Entertainment Times dared to share their hypothesis that I kill vampires as well as humans. Made everyone scared for a while. Yet, back they come. Their hedonism far too divine a right to be tamed by fear.

  And, of course, it could never happen to them.

  Tonight it will.

  Selecting a human victim is far harder than choosing a vampire. The kill is more difficult. Decapitation is such a tricky art. And, it goes without saying, the kill is much slower.

  All my equipment is ready, arranged with a surgeon’s precision. Perhaps that’s what they’ll think I am – a surgeon. They’ll be wrong, but they’ll congratulate themselves for the idea.

  The other thing they are mistaken on, as you will see very soon, is the locations. They think that the killing act is done elsewhere. You’ll see the error of that assumption too. I’m sure you’ll be delighted to see the somewhat simple answer to that riddle. I know it will only increase your admiration for my cunning.

  But, wait. Footsteps. Someone that it couldn’t possibly happen to is coming my way.

  There’s no need for words. No need to terrify him before he dies. I do not need that kind of banal thrill. All I need is for his death to serve my purpose.

  My incision is swift; a slight gasp the only sound of acknowledgement. It is so quick, so precise, that he hardly even struggles. A slight twist of his body, a tightening of his muscles. It is almost as if he welcomes me and what I bring.

  Then, I seal the wound with my lips.

  And drink.

  The beautiful fresh, fresh blood pumps into my mouth. I sink with him to the ground.

  The gorgeous blood. Warm, fluid, heating me, firing me, burning even. Burning me truly alive once more. The initial pump and gush spins your senses. At first, you can only swallow, swallow, swallow. But then, you take control, drawing it deeper in. Life drains from them as it suffuses into you.

  His blood glorifies my heart, fills my body with power. With life. His life, now mine.

  This is the dangerous part, for me, at least. I am so heady with this liquor that I want to dance, turn, cry my joy into the night.

  This is what it is to be alive. No. More than alive.

  But, I must calm myself. Continue my feast. Remember not to be selfish. Remember that this glorious cycle of hunt and feed is not the only reason for my kill. I do this now so that others may soon partake of this sweetest delicacy.

  It is nearing the end. The flow becomes sluggish. I must draw the last drops from him, taking care to leave just enough. Just enough to aid me in disguising my crime.

  For although you now know the truth about me, it’s not for anyone else to find out. Not yet. Not until I am quite ready. Not until society is in enough disarray.

  So, to the final act of this drama. From my pocket, I take my second blade. Serrated this time. My first blade is double pronged, a concession to vanity, I must admit. If I can’t make the puncture wound I need with my teeth, then why not take some care and effort to get as close as possible? But there is no time to waste. A man is dead. I must finish.

  I place my blade against the skin of his neck, careful to begin my cut where his first wounds are. He needs a shave. The bristles irritated my lips a little. I pull the blade back. It bites, drags the skin with it. I push it forward again, and watch, as fascinated as if this were the first time, as the skin moves back and forth and then begins to tear.

  The bones, of course, are much harder. But my blade is sharp and his blood has gifted me with the strength I need.

  There is no mess. Very little blood at the scene; it lives within me, not a drop wasted.

  I leave my mark. The same as last time as the papers have seen fit not to print it. One of my favourites as well.

  *

  So now you know the truth, or part of it at least. One more of my secrets revealed: I am a vampire.

  I know I have killed my own kind, many of them, but they were so inconsequential. They were too accepting of this world. They loved their place in it. That is not for me. They could never form part of my future.

  But make no assumptions – the human kills are not just to feed. Maybe the first one, that girl in the night club, that, I admit, was hunger, and curiosity for the taste of something fresh, something alive. But now…

  I take glory, delight in the certainty that each kill is a step towards the future.

  Killing humans makes those still left alive burn the way their stolen blood heats me. For the humans faced with my crimes there are much baser emotions to feed upon. Fear. Anger. Injustice. Indignation for some, self-righteousness for those who have doubts about my kind.

  For those that hate all vampires, those that secretly repress their desire for our eternal life and so clothe it in hatred, oh yes – they feel angry, self-righteous, perhaps even vindicated.

  And those are powerful motivators, my friend.

  And that is just what I want.

  Fifty Five

  As they’d agreed earlier in the week, Lucas was standing outside the Entertainment Times building waiting for Emily. She’d taken a little persuading that she needed an escort, but had eventually given in to shut him up, he suspected.

  The world was definitely righting itself, his world at least. He had spoken to Gabriel a few times and their conversations were becoming easier, were almost back to their normal levels of banter. Emily had encouraged Lucas to call him. She had, in fact, taken Gabriel’s side when he had explained why they had fallen out. Not that he’d revealed all the details. Hadn’t told her about changing Gabriel. He knew that keeping it from her was probably wrong too, but he just couldn’t tell her that, hated admitting it, even to himself. He was ashamed now of the way he had used it against his friend.

  There was so much about him that Emily would never, could never, understand. Would she still want him when she realised even the smallest things that they’d never do? That they’d never spend a summer’s day together, that they’d never be able to stay up and see a sunrise, except through the tinted glass of a building, that if he ever cooked for her, she’d dine alone.

  ‘Hi Lucas.’

  And there she was, before him, reaching up to kiss him, making his doubts seem at once ridiculous and full of searing pain. He held her to him and shut his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the building from which she’d just emerged before the winter night stole it. He kissed her again, more slowly this time, taking the taste of her into himself. Nothing to do with hoping that Simon Jones might be spying on them from an office window. Nothing to do with that at all.

  ‘What are you smiling about?’ Emily asked as she slid her gloved hand into his.

  ‘Nothing much. It’s Friday, I’m with you and we’ve got a weekend together ahead of us. No reason to smile there at all,’ he replied, and, with a look back towards the building, he led Emily towards the tram station.

  ‘How was your journey here?’ Emily asked as they crossed the main centre of the Business Distr
ict.

  ‘Fine. It was just like coming into work though. No, it was slightly more interesting actually. There are still a lot of people talking about your paper’s theory about the HeadHunter killing vampires too.’

  ‘Really? Simon will be pleased.’

  ‘That’s a shame.’ He felt Emily squeeze his hand. Lucas knew he had no reason to hate Simon now, but he felt little reason to like him either. ‘People are just surprised, I think. Gabriel didn’t believe it at first, but then, after the Security Forces confirmation today, I guess he changed his mind.’

  ‘I think most people have. Lucas, where are we going?’

  He stopped. It was the one thing they hadn’t agreed. The only thing in fact, that he’d cut their discussions short on. He knew it would be safer to stay at Emily’s flat. No one would be able to tell what he was, but he knew deep down that he couldn’t feed there.

  ‘I thought we might go to mine,’ Lucas said quietly.

  ‘Is it because of your… I don’t know what to call it, your food, the blood? Is that why?’

  Even her having to utter those words, that she’d so obviously thought about it, had had to think about it, sickened him. Lucas managed a nod, but could not meet her eyes. He clenched his jaw, hands balled into fists.

  ‘Lucas, you know there’s a way round it.’

  ‘No. I don’t want to go to a Donation Centre in your district. ‘

  ‘You don’t need to. There’s me.’ Her voice was almost a whisper now. ‘You could use me.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Lucas, please. Just think about it.’

  ‘No. I won’t.’

  But that was a lie wasn’t it? The way she made him feel had made him think about her life, and the force that ran so close to her skin. He walked away from her.

  ‘I don’t mind. I don’t care,’ she said.

  ‘I said no, Emily.’ Lucas did not turn.

  ‘It must happen, there must be other couples in our situation,’ she persisted. She joined him, turned him to face her. ‘I love you. It would be okay.’

  ‘No it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t ever be okay.’

  ‘But it happens, Lucas. I know it does. I’ve read about it, on the Net.’ Again she stopped, searched his eyes.