Symbiosis: A Vampire Psycho-Thriller

by Louise Atkins

  ‘No. Never. If I did that, to you, it would be the end. I’d never see you again.’

  ‘It wouldn’t have to be like that.’

  ‘Yes it would.’

  He stalked away once more, the bitter night welcoming him.

  ‘Have you ever done it? Fed from a human?’ Her voice was low, the words almost leaking out, as if she didn’t really want to ask.

  ‘No.’ But that was another lie. His voice was a whisper.

  Then she was in front of him.

  ‘Emily, I can’t.’ He felt his voice crack and fought to maintain anger, defiance. ‘I love you.’ He said the words slowly, steeped them in as much truth, as much solemnity as he could. ‘And that’s why I won’t.’

  Emily looked up at him for a long time. Lucas desperately hoped she wouldn’t say anything else. This wasn’t the way he’d envisaged their weekend starting. She nodded at him, smiled slightly and simply said, ‘Okay.’

  They continued towards the tram station in silence. Lucas hated to admit he felt relieved when he took her hand once more and she entwined her fingers about his.

  Once they were inside the flat, Lucas took Emily’s coat and asked,

  ‘Would you like a glass of wine, or something to eat? I’ve been stocking up all week. There’s loads for you to …’ Emily reached up and silenced him with a long kiss and he knew it would be a while before his culinary skills would be required.

  Later, Emily disentangled herself from his arms and, pulling the duvet a little tighter, raised herself up onto one elbow. Lucas smiled and put his free hand under his head. He was as content as he’d ever been. Her fingers played across his chest. She was looking at him, eyes slightly narrowed, her lips pursed.

  ‘What?’ he asked lazily.

  ‘Nothing.’ Lucas raised an eyebrow as a reply.

  ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you some questions, about being a vampire.’

  Lucas removed his arm, sat up slightly, wary.

  ‘About me being a vampire or about the kind in general?’

  She hesitated, then said,

  ‘In general.’

  ‘Fire away then,’ he said, hoping he sounded more enthusiastic than he felt.

  ‘I know you don’t sleep in a coffin, I mean, that’s silly. I knew that already, obviously.’

  ‘I don’t think that ever happened. Just one of those myths to help us hide, I guess,’ Lucas offered.

  ‘Along with the whole no reflection thing, needing an invite to enter?’

  It was, he realised, a question.

  ‘No, none of that’s true. The only thing that is true is the hair thing – won’t grow ever. Not that that’s too much of a problem. But where have you got all these other mad ideas from Emily? Most people your age haven’t got a clue about any of this. Vampires just are.’

  He regretted his words, as he saw the colour rise in her face, the smile fade.

  ‘It’s, well …’ she stopped. Lucas raised a hand to caress her cheek.

  ‘Sorry. Go on.’

  ‘It’s come from Simon. He’s so anti your kind, and told me all sorts of stuff.’

  Lucas laughed. ‘He must be really mad at the thought of me then.’

  ‘Yeah, he is.’

  ‘Good.’

  Emily curled into his side once more.

  ‘Lucas?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘What about power, like super powers?’

  ‘Move as fast as lightning, turn into a bat, great strength, that kind of thing you mean?’ Lucas chuckled. ‘Now that’s one that there was some truth in, way way back when magic was stronger in the world. That, and the aversion to holy relics, that was certainly true, but that was centuries ago.’

  ‘But Lucas, you’ve been alive for a century.’

  Her voice was small. He drew her in closer.

  ‘I know,’ he whispered.

  ‘What’s it like, having been alive for that long?’

  ‘It’s alright,’ he said. Emily slapped her hand lightly against his chest.

  ‘Stop it. I want to know.’

  ‘Some days, it’s the most amazing thing in the world. Knowing all that you do, seeing the world evolve and change around you. Knowing that you’ve got the time to do whatever you want, knowing that your body is strong, isn’t ever going to age.

  ‘You do look at things differently. Some things become so insignificant – money, work, the way the world turns, they just drift over you. Diminish somehow. Don’t get me wrong. Some things still grab your attention.’ He dropped a kiss onto her forehead, took a moment to enjoy the feel of her body next to his.

  ‘This HeadHunter as well – he’s a new thing. Most things, they’re nothing new.’ He stopped. ‘And that’s the worst part. You’ve seen it all before. And there’s days when time, which you have so much of, too much of, drags and drags. And,’ he swallowed, ‘and when you lose people. Humans, friends …’ He let the sentence hang. ‘Those are the days when you think about applying to end it.’

  Emily raised herself up once more, kissed him slowly.

  ‘But you won’t will you, end it?’ Her eyes were searching his face. Could he give her the reassurance she was seeking? He looked within himself.

  ‘No. No I won’t.’

  Satisfied, she lay back down next to him. He circled his arm around her. The truth of his next words staggered him,

  ‘I’ve never wanted to live more.’

  They were silent for a moment.

  ‘Lucas?’

  ‘Yes?’ He added a mock sigh to his reply.

  ‘How’s this going to work? This weekend I mean? Because I’ve been up all day, and you’ve been what, asleep?’

  ‘No. Not asleep. It’s sort of a trance that our bodies go into for the time that we don’t feed. If I fed all the time, I’d be like this, awake, all the time, but it’s not good. Over feeding. You feel uneasy, wired. You overreact. Most of my kind just don’t do it.’

  ‘Have you ever?’

  ‘No. Not really.’

  ‘Oh.’ She was quiet again. ‘So, what are we going to do then, about the weekend? I am quite tired you know, hard day at the office and all that.’

  ‘What I thought was,’ Lucas said, shifting so he could look at her, ‘that I’d keep you awake now, until later, much later, and then we could both rest together tomorrow, during the daylight.’

  Emily must have caught the note in his voice, because she answered lightly,

  ‘And how sir, do you propose to do that?’ She faked a yawn.

  ‘Oh, I’ve given that some thought, and I decided that this would be the most appropriate method,’ he said and began to kiss her.

  *

  It had been an excellent plan, Lucas reflected as he came to the following day. It was time to feed, he could feel that, but it was, he twisted his head to look at his bedside clock, four o’clock on Saturday afternoon. Perfect timing. He could feel the crazy mix of dullness dragging at his limbs and the sharp pang that would force him to defy his body and get up. He didn’t want to disturb Emily, but knew he had little choice.

  She was awake when he returned.

  ‘Morning gorgeous,’ he said and kissed her, glad he’d taken the time to clean his teeth.

  ‘Don’t you mean afternoon?’ she said as she cat-stretched under the duvet. Lucas shifted across the bed, but didn’t get back into it, however much he was tempted.

  ‘You must be hungry,’ he said, making to get off the bed.

  ‘Is that what you were doing just now, feeding?’

  Lucas sat back down.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What’s it like? Drinking blood, feeding the way you do?’

  ‘Emily, it’s not something I want to talk about. Not to you.’

  She thought about that for a moment. Lucas eyed the duvet, the door, thought about diverting her with an offer of a meal for herself.

  ‘You know yesterday, when you said you’d never take my blood, you meant it didn’t you?’

 
; ‘Yes. It’s not up for discussion.’ Lucas stood once more.

  ‘But you have done it. Fed from someone. I know you have. You went so odd yesterday, you were hiding something.’

  ‘And why do you think that was?’ he snapped, couldn’t help himself.

  ‘Because you don’t want me to know,’ Emily replied. ‘Is it because you don’t want to risk changing me? I know that’s how you do it.’

  Lucas sighed. It was inevitable, this conversation. He knew what was coming. He sat back on the bed, held his head in his hands.

  ‘No. Not wholly anyway.’

  Emily knelt behind him, put her arms around him.

  ‘But you could, couldn’t you, change me?’

  Lucas hated, dreaded, the note of excitement in her voice.

  ‘I could.’

  ‘Have you ever done it?’

  He took a long time to answer that one.

  ‘Yes, I have.’

  ‘Who was it? Will you tell me that?’

  Would he?

  ‘Gabriel.’

  ‘You changed Gabriel?’

  He nodded.

  ‘I was forced to. All of us, the first lot of my kind made after HaemX had to. It was part of our heritage, so we were told. Some did it more willingly than others. I refused for many years. People could apply to be changed by then. Gabriel wanted it. They stopped it after my, the first, generation as they called us. I was the last one to hold out.’

  ‘What made you give in?’

  ‘Like I said, I was forced to.’

  Lucas shut his eyes at the memory of that night. The screams, but not from Gabriel. He’d been overflowing with anticipation.

  ‘How?’ Emily breathed the word.

  He remembered the flash of the sacred sword used to behead their kind in days when they’d been hunted, now solely used by the Committee.

  ‘Because the Committee threatened a friend of mine. A vampire who didn’t want to opt out. The Committee said they’d end him if I didn’t do my duty. So… I gave in.’ He forced flint into his words.

  ‘And that’s why you and Gabriel are friends, because you changed him?’

  ‘Sort of. It’s the maker’s responsibility to look after their changeling in the first few days. Even for those like Gabriel who apply to be changed, it can be very disconcerting, disorientating. The maker’s identity is always shielded from the person they’ve changed. There are ways of making people forget.’ He paused. ‘It’s not something I’m proud of, Emily.’

  ‘You don’t know who made you then?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘But you know how to change someone?’ Emily said.

  Lucas nodded, weary now.

  ‘So you could change me?’

  He stood, whirled to face her.

  ‘No. Never.’

  ‘But it would solve all our problems.’

  ‘I said no.’

  He hated the way she drew back from him. Hated the way he was glad. Glad that he’d been right not to love her. That he’d been right to try to stop them getting together.

  ‘Lucas, I’m sorry.’

  He turned to look at her. Saw the shine of tears. Tears that dissolved his anger. What was he thinking? He could never have stopped this.

  Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her.

  ‘Oh Emily, don’t you think I’ve thought about it? But I hate what I am. I didn’t ask to be changed. There was no application process. And I wouldn’t let you. I’d block it with the Committee. I don’t care what you say. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Borrowed time. My heart only beats because someone else’s blood makes it. Never forget that. When it comes to it, if it comes to it, I’ll go when you do.’

  ‘When I die?’ Emily’s words were small in the darkness of the room. ‘You’d do that?’

  ‘Yes. But I won’t change you.’

  Emily nodded.

  ‘Promise me something?’ Lucas asked, touching a kiss to her lips.

  ‘What?’

  ‘That we’ll never have this conversation again.’

  She nodded, her eyes wide, seemingly ringed with fresh tears. He smiled at her and asked,

  ‘Do you want a shower?’

  She laughed. A genuine, light sound that dismissed the seriousness of moments before.

  ‘Good idea.’

  *

  ‘Glass of wine?’ Lucas asked, going into the kitchen a little later.

  ‘Yes please. Can I have a look at some of your photographs?’ Emily called after him.

  ‘If you must. Most are on the computer, but there are lots in the boxes on the shelves in the corner. Call me old-fashioned but I do still like to print them out.’

  ‘Maybe it’s because you’re so ancient,’ Emily pointed out.

  Lucas smiled to himself. That was better. The tension from earlier seemed to have disappeared. Mind you, he’d have some explaining to do if she found that one picture of her he’d kept from that day at the museum. How long ago did that seem now? But, what were the chances of her finding that one in the thousands that he had?

  ‘Who’s this?’ Lucas stopped in the doorway, his hands reflexively clutching the wine glasses tighter. Clearly, it should have been a different photograph that he was worried about.

  Emily had opened the only box that held the pre-HaemX pictures. He knew which picture she’d found. The only old photograph with them in it that he’d allowed himself to keep. The only one in the box with any people on it at all.

  ‘You look different,’ she said, as he forced his feet to cross to her. ‘Younger.’

  Putting down the glasses, Lucas took the picture from her.

  ‘I was.’

  ‘Who are they, Lucas?’

  Emily had found her. Charlotte. He’d always shortened it to Lottie, so much more feminine than Charlie, so much more suited to her. Lottie. Except when he was mock angry with her, then it had been her full name. In his head, everything had always been totally perfect. Any anger had, of course, been feigned. It wasn’t true. He knew that, they’d had rough times. But for him now, all these years later, everything about the time that had been theirs together glowed.

  ‘She was my wife,’ he said. ‘And the little boy, that was our son, Edward. They died.’

  ‘Oh Lucas …’

  He continued, as if Emily hadn’t spoken.

  ‘You’d think you’d be numb. All around you, everyone’s dying of this new illness, disease, infection. We didn’t know what it was. HaemX. We had no idea. Everyday you’d expect to get the symptoms. Every day it was somebody else. You grieve properly at first – for the first colleagues, first friends. But then you shut down. You have to. Each one, each death, it becomes another name when so many are dying every day. When the news can’t even come up with the total number dead …’ Lucas’s voice was a monotone. ‘But that’s until it’s your family. Your wife. Your child.’

  His voice cracked then.

  ‘Lottie died first. The bastard that was HaemX took her slowly. It took the children the quickest, not the first, but the quickest. It gave you time to hope, hope that with one seemingly immune parent, that they might be safe.

  ‘But, no. The children died within three hours of the symptoms appearing.

  ‘It took me a long time to remember him like this.’ Lucas’s fingers grazed the photograph, took in the chubby, carefree face of a dark haired toddler. His dark haired toddler. ‘And not to see the bloated, twisted thing that HaemX turned him into.’ He felt Emily’s hand on his shoulder.

  ‘And then, my grief hardly begun, I was taken. Changed. Told I was needed. That the vampires wanted me and my architectural skills on their side when the inevitable rebuilding began. When all that were going to die had done so. Oh yes, I was going to be so important.’

  He huffed his breath out. ‘But what did I care? I didn’t want to know what they’d done to me. Although the vampires tried to help me, I refused it all. Locked myself away. Would not feed. There was no work then for me to pretend to fling my
self into. Not then.

  ‘It would be another six months before those that were already looking forward would dare to share their plans for this world, your world Emily.’ He didn’t look at her. ‘I let myself sink into a greyed out state. A coma, I suppose is the nearest thing to it that you’d understand. It’s painful at first, but I wanted that. Physical pain was good.

  ‘I was that way for nearly a year. Then, the Committee were ready. They came and they found me. Made me feed. Forced a purpose upon me. The new world, this joint world was just beginning then. They set me to design a hospital. And, I did.’

  Emily took the photograph from him.

  ‘She was beautiful,’ she said. Lucas smiled.

  ‘Yes, she was.’

  ‘And your son, Edward, he looks just like you.’

  ‘Yes,’ was all Lucas could manage.

  ‘Thank you for telling me.’ She turned to him and kissed away the tear that betrayed him. ‘Thank you.’

  Fifty Six

  ‘Am I glad you’re here,’ Amanda exclaimed when Emily arrived at the office on Monday morning. ‘You look rough, and you’re late.’

  ‘Only five minutes.’ Back in her own bed on Sunday night as Lucas had gone to work, she had slept through her alarm.

  ‘Still late though. I reckon there must be a man involved,’ Amanda said with narrowed eyes. Emily shrugged but couldn’t keep the smile from her face. ‘Good for you, but there’s another man here who’s been demanding to know where you are too.’

  Emily frowned, ‘Who?’

  ‘That journalist, Simon Jones. He burst in here about five this morning, what he was doing, I do not know, but he was all het up about something. Hammers away at his computer for a bit and then slams out again. Straight to the boss, someone said. Bernstein’s been here all night too. Heard he’s moved in until this killer is caught.’

  ‘But that’s ridiculous,’ Emily protested. ‘Do you know what Simon wanted?’ Her question would seem innocent enough, yet somehow she felt forewarning could be useful.

  ‘I’ve no idea, but he was very insistent. Wanted me to call you to get you to come in early. I refused, obviously. What on earth could be that important? Why he couldn’t call you himself, I don’t know.’

  I do, Emily thought.

  ‘Probably thinks it’s beneath him to contact us lowly office staff,’ Amanda continued.