Lilac

by Reid, B. B.

  Eyes shut, left arm tucked underneath my head, I listened to Braxton’s nails click against her phone screen as she texted her friends. I knew it could be no one else. She didn’t seem to have a lot of people in her corner, and we were planning to change that the moment she let us in.

  Houston returned from his shower, and by then, it was two in the morning. I wasn’t even a little bit sleepy, though, and apparently, neither was Braxton. Rich was already snoring loud as fuck, and Houston’s breathing had turned deep.

  Perfect.

  Keeping my eyes closed, I drew the items I’d hidden from under my pillow. The lube I’d taken from the bedroom. After squirting some into my palm, I pushed my boxers down enough to free my cock.

  I didn’t bother drawing the curtains.

  I wanted her to see.

  Her back was still turned as she faced the wall, but I knew she wouldn’t be like that for long. My mind then conjured her photo as my muse, the memory as vivid as if I still held it in my hand. I kept my rhythm nice and easy, squeezing the head on every upstroke until I began to fantasize, drawing her nipples between my lips.

  “Shit,” I let slip when I imagined their taste.

  I heard the rustling of sheets and knew that it was her turning over to see. I stroked my dick faster, my hips rising off the bed now and then as I chased my orgasm. I imagined her legs wrapped around me as I slowly slipped inside of her. She’d coat my dick with her arousal, making it easy for me to have my way inside her tight, warm walls. I’d bury myself so deep I’d never be able to find my way out.

  “Fuck, Braxton.”

  I didn’t even care that she knew it was her I was imagining. It could never be anyone else ever again. No use pretending.

  When my movements turned jerky, and I couldn’t control my grunts, I knew there was no turning back. Grabbing the second item I borrowed, I groaned long and hard as I used it to catch my cum.

  I heard the growl Braxton tried to conceal when she recognized the purple panties she’d been wearing earlier.

  I smiled to myself.

  After cleaning my dick off with them and figuring she might want ’em back, I tossed them on the floor before rolling onto my stomach.

  Now I could sleep.

  You might lose love

  It might fade in the wind as if it had never been

  You might mourn the good years left behind

  You might curse the lonely ones that follow

  And when you wake up, you realize

  It’s only the beginning

  Listening to Houston sing the words I’d written, I thought about my father’s offer for the first time since he made it. I didn’t count Colorado because I’d been bluffing as usual whenever Houston pissed me off.

  The bitter truth is that my feet were firmly planted.

  I couldn’t walk away from my friends as easily as I’d done my parents. It’s why I hated them so much. I loved them just as deeply.

  No matter how much Houston and Rich hurt me, I’d keep coming back for more. The three of us were toxic as fuck, together and apart, but we were all we had. It hadn’t always been like this, and I think remembering all the good is why we stayed through the bad.

  Seventy-thousand people were on their feet by the time we walked off the stage at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. It was a rush I never got tired off. We had maybe twenty minutes to collect ourselves before the first round of meet-and-greets began. I was actually looking forward to it since it was the only time we got to see Braxton smile these days.

  When she wasn’t cursing one of us in her head, that is.

  She hadn’t remarked on the stunt I pulled last night, but I expected no less. I think she figured out that I thrived on attention, so she punished me by depriving me of it. Figures. It was like she’d flipped a switch and became the center of my universe. Everything I am revolved around her. I never even considered trying to undo what she’d done.

  Two hours later, the meet-and-greets were over, and Braxton immediately headed back for the bus.

  Houston, Rich, and I stayed behind to give her “space.”

  We used that time to have a powwow with a few roadies as if they didn’t have an entire stage to tear down.

  “Has it been enough time?” I snapped once we were done distracting our crew. They had enough shit on their plate without us adding in our melodrama. “Can we go back to the bus now?”

  “Relax,” Houston responded dryly. “It’s only been ten minutes.”

  “This is dumb as fuck if you ask me.” I cut my gaze at Rich, who noticed.

  “There’s a reason no one asks you.”

  Fuck this.

  I walked off, and they shouted my name once they realized the direction I was headed. It didn’t take them long before they were hot on my heels. They didn’t try to stop me either—not that they could—when I climbed inside the back of the SUV.

  The drive back to the bus was only fifteen minutes, but it felt like fifteen hours. I couldn’t understand why my palms were sweating, and my heart was racing. I only knew the stirring in my gut that told me Braxton was up to no good.

  I screwed with her, and she’d been compliant.

  I should have known better than to trust it.

  She was a devious little thing.

  Before the SUV fully rolled to a stop, I was out and taking off for our bus. I could hear a baffled Houston and Rich talking shit behind me, but I paid them no mind. They were unaware of what I’d done last night. If they knew, they’d be going crazy too.

  Bounding up the bus’s stairs, I slammed my palm on the button to activate the sliding door. Stepping inside, I peered through the dark interior. It wasn’t until a low whimper drew my attention that I spotted Braxton on the couch, naked as the day she was born, red hair cascading down her back, and straddling my goddam pillow.

  I knew it was mine because of the dark-green pillowcase.

  “Holy shit,” I heard Rich whisper like a virgin. I don’t know why he bothered to conceal his presence.

  Braxton knew we were here.

  She planned this.

  I watched her ass and tits jiggle every time she moved her hips. My pillow was providing the friction her clit needed as she rode it like a professional jockey. She was at the perfect angle for me to see everything while she performed like we weren’t even here. Hell yes.

  “What the hell is she doing?” Houston asked no one in particular.

  Without taking my eyes off Braxton, I answered my best friend. “She’s upping the ante.”

  I was willing to give whatever at this point to make her mine.

  Ours.

  Whatever.

  I wanted to move in closer, maybe touch her or join in. I knew the second I did that it would be over, so I stayed put.

  Meanwhile, Braxton sped up her pace, her cries becoming more desperate as she humped my pillow with reckless abandon. Her small hands clutched the casing, her nails digging in as she held on for dear life.

  The only thing that could make this moment more perfect was if she were sitting on my face and not my pillow. Swallowing when my mouth-watered, I admired the moonlight washing over her and the sweat glistening on her skin.

  If this was her way of punishing me, she could count on more trouble.

  The closer she drew to her orgasm, the more captivated I became. And when she finally reached her peak, I was hard enough to break a brick.

  The three of us looked on as she slumped on the couch, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she fought to catch her breath. She wasn’t at all shy or bothered by her nakedness even though we stood fully clothed.

  A minute or two must have passed, and no one said a goddamn word. I think Houston and Rich were as speechless as I was. Maybe even more so since they didn’t know the reason behind her stunt.

  When she could trust her legs again, Braxton stood, grabbed my pillow, and tossed it at my feet. While she disappeared inside the bunks, I stared at my pillow, admiring the wet spot she’d left beh
ind.

  Touché.

  I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this up.

  Loren was too loose a cannon and a terrible influence. He made me want to throw caution to the wind and beg Braxton to give us a second chance.

  We hadn’t come to that part of the plan yet.

  Right now, we were trying to make her see that she didn’t want to be without us. I knew whatever the reason for Braxton’s behavior tonight, Loren was behind it. And with him off his leash, for every step forward, we were bound to take two steps back.

  I heard the shower running when I pushed inside the bunk area and knew Braxton was washing away the remnants of her private show. Spotting a scrap of purple lace on the floor, I swooped them up just as Loren pushed through the door. Feeling my fingers brush something white and sticky, I immediately tossed the material away.

  “What the—is that jizz?” I yelped.

  Staring at the lace hanging from the toe of Loren’s boot now, I realized they were Braxton’s panties. Why was there cum on Braxton’s panties? I was pissed off, wondering who it had come from since it sure as fuck hadn’t been me. It couldn’t have been Houston or Loren either since we were all in the doghouse together. I don’t recall ever being this angry as I considered the possibility that Braxton had fucked someone else.

  I didn’t realize I was storming toward the bathroom, ready to interrupt Braxton’s shower, until Loren caught me.

  “Relax, man. It’s mine.”

  Whirling on him, I shoved him back. “How did your cum get on Braxton’s panties?”

  “As much as I wish it was what you think, it’s not, so chill. I used them last night.”

  “You used them,” I echoed. I waited for him to explain.

  Loren’s face balled up in irritation. “I beat my dick and nutted in them, bro. You want a fucking play-by-play?”

  “So you left them for her to find, and that’s why she put on that show?”

  “Not quite.” Loren scratched his fucked-up head while I waited for the other shoe to drop. “She kind of saw me, and that’s the reason for her show.” I didn’t realize my desire to hit him until I’d already bloodied his nose. “What the hell was that for?” he had the nerve to shout.

  Gripping his collar with both hands, I shoved him against the door hard enough to make the wood splinter. He tried to push me off, but with his head tilted back and one hand busy trying to stop the bleeding, he couldn’t.

  “Make this the last time I tell you to leave her the hell alone or you’re out.”

  Forgetting about his busted nose, Loren dropped his hand to stare at me through the slits his eyes made. “You think I need you to win over Brax?”

  “I think you know she won’t just choose one of us. She won’t risk what it will do to our friendship.” Or what’s left of it. “It’s all or nothing with Brax.”

  “Does she know that?” he quipped.

  Probably not. “She will.”

  “So you’re willing to screw yourself just to make sure I don’t get her?”

  “Doing this means we’re a unit. Every move you make, you make for all of us, so if you don’t deserve her, neither do we.”

  I could see Loren mulling over my point before he gave in with a sigh. “Still seems a little dramatic. I practically admitted I’m in love with her.”

  Letting him go, I took a step back with my brow raised. “I can always put you in a wheelchair. You won’t need your legs to give her your heart.”

  Flipping me off, he yanked open the door and rushed for the half bath we never used instead of the one Braxton still occupied.

  While Loren took care of his face, I washed my hands in the kitchen sink. I then sat on the couch where Houston was watching a clip from our show tonight.

  “You guys all right?” Houston muttered without taking his eyes off the TV. I knew he’d heard every word.

  “I’m not sure this is going to work,” I admitted in defeat.

  I could feel Houston’s gaze as I stared at the ground. “It’s only been a day, Jericho. We can’t know for sure.”

  Loren was shirtless when he came out of the bathroom and wisely kept Houston between us as he sat on the couch.

  The conceited ass kept checking his nose, and I knew it was to make sure it wasn’t crooked. I heard the shower cut off in the bedroom and forced myself to follow my own plan by staying put. Loren began to roll up as we watched TV, and after a few tokes, he passed it to Houston, who surprisingly accepted. I was next, and just like that, a rotation began.

  So much for sobriety.

  Back then, we indulged here and there to keep moving when life was just too much to handle sober. It wasn’t until Calvin was beyond saving that we realized we couldn’t bear losing each other that way. It wouldn’t be quick. It wouldn’t be sudden. It would be slow and agonizing. It meant being helpless while one or all of us withered away. I hated Everill’s guts, and it had still ripped me apart to see him destroy himself.

  So we gave it all up—the weed, the pills, the alcohol, and the coke.

  My stomach had been in knots ever since Loren started back drinking. Now that he was smoking as well, I wondered if it was too late. Our lives aren’t nearly as hectic now as it had been when we were building our name, and we’d never developed a dependency like Calvin, but the fear and the possibility were still very real.

  “Should we be doing this?” I blurted when I felt my lids begin to lower.

  “We’ve been smoking since we were pups. If it were going to ruin our lives, it would have done so by now,” Loren reasoned. “Besides, Calvin’s not around to talk us into the harder shit.”

  “We can’t put all the blame on a dead man. He didn’t force us to say yes, Lo.”

  “No,” he returned while meeting my eyes. “He just made sure it was always around.”

  I didn’t bother trying to argue him down. Loren was determined to be the victim, and it was nearly impossible to change his mind once it was set.

  It wasn’t until I was into my high that I realized that it’d been years since we tolerated each other enough to be in the same room for longer than five minutes.

  Had to be the weed.

  I would have smiled had Braxton not made an appearance.

  She didn’t seem bothered by our smoking, but perhaps it was because she was determined to ignore us. I watched from the corner of my eye as she warmed up her portion of the food the chefs had left for us. Sticking to the plan, Houston pulled out a deck of cards and started dealing while Loren whooped and rubbed his hands together.

  “What’s the bet tonight, boys?”

  A pang of nostalgia hit me like a lightning strike.

  Frustrated, I shook it away. I didn’t want to hope. I snatched up my cards when Houston was done dealing, only to tense when Braxton sat next to me with her dinner. There was a table, but she’d chosen the couch. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. As she settled in, Loren immediately ashed the joint and waved the smoke away. Braxton was careful not to sit too close, but I could smell her soap, or maybe her shampoo, and that was enough. For now.

  There was no forgetting how it felt to be inside her.

  “Does anyone mind if I change the channel?” she asked us while reaching for the remote.

  Houston, without giving her his full attention, nodded his consent.

  “Thanks.” She channel surfed for a while before settling on a movie.

  When we saw she’d chosen The Legend of Tarzan with Alexander Skarsgård, Loren snorted. I sent him a warning look, and he piped the fuck down.

  Pretending not to hear him, Braxton closed her eyes, and I watched as her lips moved in silent prayer. My eyes bucked as I looked on because I’d never taken her for religious.

  The moment her eyes opened, I looked away, and she immediately dug into her shrimp scampi. It looked good as hell, and I felt my stomach tighten. The only problem was that I only had a taste for her.

  Near the end of the movie, when the villain w
as leading Tarzan into a trap using his girl, my phone chimed once, signaling I had a text. Houston’s phone had also gone off at the same time.

  Frowning, I checked the screen and saw that it was a message from Loren in our group chat.

  Lo: I bet if one of us yells like Tarzan, Brax will be so turned on she talks to us.

  Our phones chimed again with another text from him.

  Lo: Not it.

  Houston and I looked up from our phones to stare at Loren. I already knew he was serious. Grinning, he sent two more texts.

  Lo: Houston’s got the pipes.

  Lo: Can’t hurt to try.

  Just as he started to send another, Houston slapped Loren’s phone out of his hand. It skipped and scattered across the floor, making Braxton jump and drawing her attention to us. I could see the question in her brown eyes, but it was gone in one blink, and then she turned back to the movie.

  Loren ignored his phone lying on the floor across the room while we played another hand, which I won. Possibly the hardest thing I’d ever done was sit here and ignore Braxton’s presence. Every time she shifted on the couch, laughed under her breath, or let it catch from something happening in the movie, I was aware, yet I had to pretend otherwise.

  Once the movie finally ended, Braxton stood and began washing her plate. Since her back was turned, I felt free to watch her.

  She was fully clothed tonight even though she’d been completely naked and riding Loren’s pillow three hours ago.

  When she was done, I felt like all the air had been kicked from my lungs when she bent to pick up Loren’s phone near her bare feet. The three of us went still as she straightened while staring at the lit screen.

  Loren didn’t keep a lock on his phone so all she had to do was tap and swipe up to see his last open window. She didn’t even bother to conceal her curiosity from us either.

  Helplessly, we watched as Braxton read Loren’s texts.

  When she was done, without a word, she calmly placed his phone on the counter before leaving the room.

  “Shit,” Loren swore.

  Feeling our glares, he hung his head.

  Pissed was an understatement when I shot to my feet, but I didn’t bother pummeling him. Braxton had already made him feel worse than I ever could. “Find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”