The Letter

by Emma Crawley

  26

  The shrubbery was beautiful at that time of year. It has always been one of my favourite places to walk. I had a letter from my Aunt and Uncle Gardner that I still had not read, and, finding a bench, I opened it to read it now.

  My aunt was full of hopes that my feelings towards Darcy had changed. I smiled as I thought how much pleasure she would get when she knew the truth of my affections for him. Whether I loved him, I could not say. But I was confident I was moving in the right direction. She spoke of their arrival at Longbourn in time for the wedding, and how they would stay for an extended visit after Darcy and I left for Pemberley to comfort my mother in my loss. I was still Mama’s favourite child ever since my engagement, and she had decided it would devastate her once I left. It certainly was a new turn of events.

  “A beautiful evening for reading a letter,” said a cheerful voice.

  I looked up in alarm, to see Wickham smiling at me. He leaned against a tree, his handsome face lit up as though seeing me gave him the greatest pleasure in all the world.

  “I hope I am not interrupting,” he said, as he watched me put away the letter.

  “You are interrupting,” I said with a smile. I stood up, forced by politeness to greet him. “I hear you are soon to leave Hertfordshire?”

  Wickham’s face clouded over. “I am afraid it is true. We travel on to Brighton.”

  “You are afraid?” I laughed. “What are you afraid of? I should have thought you impatient to travel to Brighton. It is the centre of everything and just in time for summer when sunbathing will be at its best. I cannot believe a man who loves society as much as you do can feel all that downhearted at travelling there.”

  Wickham sighed and poked at the ground with his cane.

  “I hear I must offer you my congratulations. I must confess, I was rather astonished at the news. I was not aware that you and Darcy were on such terms.”

  “We were not on such terms, and I suspect you know that.” I raised my eyebrows. “Come, do you expect me to believe you have not heard of the rumours about our engagement?”

  Wickham looked sad. “I heard stories of a letter, but my understanding is that you received it because Darcy had already proposed to you the night before.”

  “That is true.”

  Wickham took a step towards me. I forced myself not to move back.

  “And what do you think of Darcy now? Do you like him any better on becoming engaged to him? Please forgive me. I know it is rude to imply you did not love him when you agreed to marry him. But you and I have always been good friends. There has never been any pretence between us. I cannot blame you if you could not resist the offer of a man like Darcy. He will provide your family with everything they need. None of you will ever want for anything. No one could think ill of you being unable to resist his offer. No matter what he might have done, or how he might have treated anyone else. He is, as they say, a catch.”

  His eyes as they looked at me, were searching for something. I tried not to smile as I realised what it was.

  “I suppose they do say that, don’t they?”

  Wickham looked off into the distance and narrowed his eyes in a brooding fashion though there was no sun to make him squint so. How had I never noticed how affected he was before? Had I thought this man so charming that I accepted all his words without question?

  “I hope he will make you happy,” he said. “I hope he is improved. Especially when your happiness is now so dependent on his character.”

  “Oh, I would not say he has improved,” I said, lightly. “I believe in essentials, he is just what he has always been. It is just that I see him more clearly now and without prejudice.”

  Wickham’s face cleared. He licked his lips, and his fingers drummed lightly on his cane.

  “Ah. Did he… did he ever mention anything that had passed between us?”

  “A few matters. I was surprised to hear he had settled a lump sum on you in exchange for the living you decided you did not want. You neglected to mention that part when you told your story.” I smiled at him.

  His face paled slightly, and he cleared his throat.

  “Well, yes, there was something. It was not quite what a living would have provided me with all my life, you understand. I should have had a home now and been secure all my days. He offered me a small exchange of money, no doubt to clear his conscience. I believe I mentioned that to you. Perhaps you have forgotten.”

  “Perhaps. Come, we should return to the house. I am sure your friends are wondering where you are.”

  “I was just leaving. I thought I saw you here, and I could not leave without seeing you first. It has been so long since we saw one another.”

  “It has. The last time I saw you, you were to marry Miss King.”

  Wickham’s face blanched, and a look of profound misery came over his face.

  “It was one of the saddest affairs of my life.”

  “Do you regret her so very much?”

  He ran his hand through his hair, looking wounded.

  “I cannot say. I married her because I had no other choice. I had to make a living to replace the one taken from me. I cannot say I loved Miss King. There was another I would have been more inclined to… well, perhaps we should not touch on that.” He gave me a penetrating look. I had to prevent myself from laughing out loud. He thought he was irresistible even now. “But I was fond of her. I would have done all I could to make her happy. I will miss her very much.”

  “I am sure your heart will heal in time,” I said sardonically. “Now, I must return to the house. I am surprised your friends do not leave with you.”

  “I had my reasons to wish to leave,” said Wickham with an air of high tragedy. He bowed. “Good evening, Miss Elizabeth. It has been wonderful to see you again. My congratulations to Mr Darcy. He once again achieves what he has always wanted.”

  His charming demeanour faltered for a moment. I saw a flash of pure rage behind that smiling mask, and it made me shudder though I would not allow him to see it. I inclined my head and hurried towards the house without looking back.

  I took the route further through the shrubbery where Wickham could not watch me as I left. Something about him unsettled me. As I walked, I heard voices on the other side. I would have continued, but I heard his name, and it made me stop at once.

  “But what can we do? If Wickham does not have the money, he does not have it. We cannot turn him upside down and shake him. We should have known how he treats everyone is how he would eventually treat us.”

  “My parents need that money.” I heard Denny’s voice, and I recalled how tense they had looked as they stood huddled together in the corner. Their demeanours had been strained, but I took it for awkwardness in Darcy’s presence. “I was a fool to lend it to Wickham. Bringing him here to join up was the worst mistake of my life.”

  “What shall we do? If we are too cautious, he will run away, and we will lose all chance of getting it back. We shall have to tighten the screws if we are to…”

  The voices moved further away as the soldiers walked across the park. I shook my head. Somehow, it did not surprise me in the slightest. I doubted Denny or the others would ever recover their money, but if as they said, Wickham would run away, it made matters easier for me. I would have been happy never to see the man again. Perhaps that explained the rage I saw in his eyes and the strain in his face. If his fellows were putting pressure on him to pay what he owed them, I should not wonder at it.

  “Run far away, Wickham,” I thought to myself. “None of us want you here.”

  27

  Darcy found me in the garden the following morning as had become our informal arrangement. He took my hand in his and planted a kiss on it before giving me a lingering kiss on the lips.

  “I have missed you,” he said. “I asked Georgiana to prepare herself to come here. I know she cannot wait to see you again.”

  “I look forward to seeing her,” I said as he pulled me down onto a bench besid
e him and I rested against him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I sighed with contentment.

  “Lizzy!”

  I flinched as my mother shrieked across the lawn. “Come here at once. I need you!”

  I groaned and nestled closer to Darcy. He wrapped his arms tighter around me.

  “Do not go just yet. Stay another few moments with me.”

  I was not about to argue with that. But my mother would not be dissuaded.

  “Lizzy!” she called again. Her voice was getting closer. I grimaced and reluctantly disentangled myself from Darcy’s arms.

  “I am summoned. If I do not go to her, she will descend upon us.”

  Darcy still held my hand for as long as possible, only dropping it when we heard my mother’s footsteps around the corner.

  “Lizzy! Why did you not come when I called you? Did you not hear me? Really, you are… oh. Good morning, Mr Darcy.”

  Her annoyed expression flipped at once into a radiant smile.

  “Lizzy, why do you not bring him to the house? We shall have refreshments prepared for you at once.” She spun on her heel to hurry away but paused and turned back.

  “I do not suppose you have received any news on friends who might attend the wedding?”

  “No, madam. Just my sister.” Darcy’s voice was often chilly when he addressed my mother, and it remained so now. I cast him a disapproving look, but he had already looked away as though my mother was of little concern to him. I gritted my teeth, the glow I had felt during our earlier embrace fading away.

  After my mother left, I prepared myself to say something but Lydia interrupted us running along the path, being pursued by Denny. She cried out and shrieked as he caught her. When Denny saw us, he stopped at once. His face flamed as he gave a low bow.

  “Miss Bennet and Mr Darcy. Forgive me. We were…”

  “We were having such sport,” said Lydia with a giggle as she hung out of Denny’s arm. “If Denny catches me, I must give him a kiss…”

  Denny tried to interrupt her with a spluttering cough.

  “Come, Lydia. We should get you back to the house,” he said. He drew himself up, his hands behind his back, the very picture of the ideal gentleman. There was little point in saying anything to Lydia right then. There was little point in saying anything to Lydia full stop, but I would have to try at least. She would be the ruin of us all if she continued on this wild path.

  “My Darcy, when is your sister coming?” Lydia asked. “Lizzy says she is my age. It will be such fun to have another girl to gad about with.”

  Darcy stiffened.

  “Miss Darcy does not gad about, Lydia,” I said. “She is a much quieter girl than you and Kitty.”

  “Thank goodness for that,” Darcy murmured under his breath.

  Lydia made a face. “Oh, there is nothing to that. She has no sisters to help her have fun. We shall bring her out of her shell, shall we not, Denny?”

  She gave Denny such an insinuating look that Denny coughed and spluttered once again.

  “I think I am wanted at the camp…” he said vaguely. He gave a hasty bow before running away. Lydia stared after him and turned back to us with a shrug.

  “Oh well. He is not my favourite anyway. He can be quite dull too at times,” she added with a quick look at Darcy. “Where is Kitty? I want to walk into Meryton.”

  There was little point in responding. Lydia never took in a word anyone said. She ran off, calling Kitty’s name loudly.

  “Lizzy!” called Mama once again.

  I sighed and stood up.

  “Come. She will be on us again in a moment if we do not.”

  Darcy nodded without saying a word. Our walk back to the house was in silence.

  My mother had ordered tea for Darcy. She had made a note of which cup he seemed to prefer and made sure it was before him. She beamed at him as he took it with a muttered thanks.

  “I have been thinking about where Miss Darcy will stay when she arrives,” Mama chattered on. “She will be more comfortable here rather than at Netherfield Park. Here, she will have the company of girls her own age. We can manage her quite well, and it will leave you free to prepare for the wedding. We have plenty of practice with managing young girls, after all.”

  Outside the window, Lydia charged past. We heard her before we saw her.

  “Kitty Bennet, what are you doing with my new bonnet! You know you look a fright in it! Your enormous head will stretch it out until it will be of no use to me!”

  Darcy gave my mother a sardonic look, but my mother’s smile was luminous as if she had struck on a genius plan.

  “Thank you, madam. But my sister will stay with me.”

  “Oh, but…”

  “It will be the last time for Darcy and Georgiana to spend together before I join them,” I interrupted. Darcy’s face told me he was being irritated beyond endurance. “I think neither of them will care to give it up. They will want their last days as siblings together. I would not have them denied.”

  “But surely a young girl would…”

  “Besides, think about how it will affect you. You have so much to do for this wedding. It would be unfair to expect you to take on the charge of another young lady right when you are needed the most.”

  My mother blushed at that and patted her hair.

  “I never thought of that. I suppose I will have much to do, being the mother of the bride.”

  “So much to do,” I said firmly. I nudged Darcy to join in. He merely nodded. I gave him an exasperated look, but he either did not see it or chose not to.

  “When will Miss Darcy arrive?” asked my mother.

  “She will arrive in a few days. I will travel to London to bring her here.”

  “Oh, I cannot wait to meet her. Dearest Kitty and Lydia are so looking forward to seeing her. Do bring her here at once, will you not? I may have a few words to say to her about the wedding.”

  “If you can limit yourself to a few,” said Darcy. The words were scarcely under his breath. I turned to him aghast. My mother’s merry smile faded.

  “I am sorry?” she asked. She looked so wounded, I felt a rare moment of pity for her.

  “Forgive me,” said Darcy. “I did not sleep well last night.” He rose to his feet. “I think I should return to Netherfield. I have some business to attend to before Georgiana arrives.”

  He bowed and left the room. I was too surprised to follow him.

  “Mr Darcy is… he seems a little out of humour…” said my mother in a trembling voice. I drew a deep breath, trying to master the anger growing in me.

  “Yes, he does. Excuse me, Mama.”

  “Lizzy, say nothing to offend him. He might call off the wedding and then where will we all be?”

  I hurried from the room before I could hear anything more. I ran down the steps and across the lawn to catch up with him as he strode toward the lane.

  “Mr Darcy,” I snapped.

  He paused for a moment before turning to me. His face was set. I caught up to him, out of breath more from my anger than from the exercise.

  “What do you think you are doing? How could you speak to my mother like that?”

  “Like what? Oh, that.” Darcy shook his head. “It is of no consequence. I was provoked beyond my endurance. I am sorry for it, but I daresay she did not understand me.”

  “Oh, she understood you. She understood you very well. I have had the pain of hearing my father cut my mother down over the years. I did not expect my husband, who I have come to expect better things from, to play the same cruel game.”

  Darcy was astonished. “Elizabeth…”

  “I know she is trying. But you should have mastered your ill-humour like a gentleman. There was no cause to speak to her in such a way. If I, who have known her all my life and have endured far more of her silliness than you have or ever will, can master my irritation around her, you have no excuse for it.”

  “I apologise for what I said.” Darcy’s face was grim. “You are right.
It was beneath me. But I cannot apologise for the sentiments that drove it. Your mother and your younger sisters show a total want of propriety. Can you blame me for worrying about their influence on Georgiana? She is a quiet, sweet girl, and yet your family seems to think they can turn her into one of them. I will not have it.”

  “I am one of them,” I said angrily. “I grew up in this family. Am I a poor influence on Georgiana? Am I going to taint her with my presence?”

  Darcy’s eyes flashed. “You know that is not true. You know I do not think it, so I will not even entertain it as a question. I understand they are your family, but you cannot deny their behaviour is a problem. I should not have spoken so to your mother, but I am concerned with what my connection to them will mean for my family.”

  I shook my head in disgust. I turned from him and walked away.

  “Elizabeth.”

  I walked faster, and as I did, I listened to hear if Darcy would come after me. A part of me hoped he would. I listened for the sound of him running after me and for the feel of his hand as he stopped me. But he did not. I ran all the way back to the house, and he did not stop me.

  28

  I spent the rest of the day struggling to behave as normally as I could.

  “Where is Mr Darcy?” my mother asked. “Why did he not return with you?”

  “He is busy, Mama. He already told you that.”

  “Yes, but I thought he would return this evening.” Her eyes narrowed. “You have not ruined everything, have you? I know what your tongue is like.”

  I plucked at a thread angrily. “I told him I was unhappy with how he spoke to you. It was rude and unkind. I would not allow him to get away with it.”

  “Oh, Lizzy!” My mother raised her hands, then crashed them into her lap. “What have you done? You have displeased him, and even right now, he might be at Netherfield writing to his solicitor to discover how to call off the betrothal. What have you done? You have ruined us all. Oh, if only he were to marry Jane. She is far sweeter and would have known better than to offend him. You do not know how to keep a man. You must run after him and beg his forgiveness. Quick, before he has time to throw you over.”