Songlines

by Carolyn Denman

  Aunt Lily blinked. ‘Who’s Bane?’

  Chapter 13

  Bane had told his mother he would be home before dark, but he couldn’t go back yet, so he sent her a quick text to apologise—which, given the reception problems in Nalong, she probably wouldn’t receive until sometime the following day. He kept walking until he left the sealed roads and rows of tidy weatherboard houses behind. A couple of cars sped past him, coating everything in sight with choking dust and creating an eerie golden haze.

  As usual, he ended up at the river. The events of the day had shaken him to his core, and the river was the only place he ever felt calm. He needed to think. What options were left to him now? He had promised himself it would end, even though it had meant giving up on trying to stick things out until the end of school. He’d convinced himself that if he just left town altogether, he could start fresh—maybe head for Sydney and try to make some sense of his life—but he’d only made it as far as Horsham before the nausea had made it impossible to keep driving.

  It had happened before, but he’d assumed it was just bad timing, picking up some sort of a stomach bug just in time for his weekend away. Then it had happened again when he’d gone to his father’s funeral last year. He’d put it down to nerves and grief that time, although he’d never really known his father all that well. He remembered going to visit him as a child and he’d had no difficulty leaving town then. So what had changed in the last few years? His father had stopped asking him to visit once he’d hit the teenage years, and his mother couldn’t afford holidays to the city, so the furthest he’d tried to go since then was camping in the bush—no problems there. Horsham had been fine for him too until recently but whatever was going on, it was getting worse.

  As the sun began to drag the day down with it, he took off his shoes and tiptoed along a sturdy log that jutted well out into the river, where the sound of the water drowned out all other distractions. Stretching a bit precariously, he doused his feet in the freezing current, feeling some of the tension flow out of him with the heat. Only then did he allow himself to turn his mind to Lainie. He had spent so much effort training his thoughts to stay away from her. She infuriated him. Why? Why was he always so obsessed with needing to know what she was up to? Why were there times when he just couldn’t control his actions around her? His behaviour was ludicrous, and he hated her for it.

  He remembered a time when all he needed to do was watch her for a while, hiding with the smokers and their stink amongst the clumps of bracken and cape wattles on the far side of the school oval. No one had cared about that. He wasn’t the only guy who watched her when he could get away with it. But things had been getting worse. For over a year now, every time she’d played footy at lunchtime he’d been yanked away from whatever he’d been doing and forced to watch her, filled with inexplicable and impotent rage. That time when she’d gone up for a specky, launching herself so gracefully from Noah’s shoulder to make the catch before she was set upon by no less than four opposing players … his sudden shocking urge to wreak violence on anyone near her just then had sent him running for the bushes, gasping and vomiting. What the hell was the matter with him?

  Reluctantly he reasoned that his two problems had to be linked, but it still made no sense whatsoever. All he knew was that when she was hurt today his whole body had felt like it was on fire until he touched her. Had he really healed her? He had no idea how he had done it, only that it had been such a relief to finally give in to the pull. It was the same pull that had been tugging at him for a good hour before the accident. He had needed to get to her, long before he ever saw the stupid dog. Trying everything he could think of to distract himself, he’d even resorted to drinking a shot of his mum’s vodka, but eventually he just had to get to where she was—fast. It was probably the vodka that had caused the accident. He almost wished that were true. It didn’t explain why he’d felt the pull in the first place, or how he’d known where to find her.

  Even now, he knew he could have spun around with his eyes closed and still been able to point to exactly where she was. And as often as he told himself he was just imagining it, he knew perfectly well that he’d been able to do that for years. She pulled at him, constantly, and he was beginning to realise that the farther away he got from her, the stronger the pull affected him, even to the point of physical illness.

  Lifting his numb feet back up onto the log, he drew his knees up to his chin and hugged his ankles, perching as still as he could. He closed his eyes and once again wished that someone would just tell him what a sick bastard he was and lock him up before he hurt someone. He’d tried to get help, to talk to someone, but he could never get the words out without choking on his own guilt. And why should he be the one to feel guilty? He hadn’t asked for this. It had to be her fault in some way. Everyone knew there was something strange about her; he could feel the way the air in the room always became slightly hushed whenever she and Noah walked in. She … distracted people, somehow.

  Had she been the cause of today’s little miracle? Used him somehow? No. The look of fear in her eyes had been genuine … oh God, how that look haunted him! He’d healed her arm, but that wasn’t the image replaying in his mind over and over. Instead all he kept seeing was the way she’d flinched away from him. For as long as they’d known each other, and all the bitter clashes they’d had, she’d never once looked afraid of him until today.

  Mosquitoes drifted around his ears, signalling the frenzied onset of evening. Conflicting thoughts tangled themselves, refusing to find resolution until he succumbed to the only course left open to him, short of breaking the law just to get himself arrested. For a moment he genuinely toyed with both options, until he had to admit that only one of them had any hope of providing the answers he needed.

  Somehow he was going to have to convince her to talk to him. Maybe then he could figure out how and why his illogical instincts had saved her life.

  Chapter 14

  ‘Come on, Lainie, it’s the last thing we have left, we should at least try to get there more or less on time,’ Noah begged, throwing me his best dimpled smile as he peered around the corner into the bathroom. ‘Wow!’ he exclaimed, walking around me like he was inspecting a new car. ‘You should wear your hair down more often, you look incredible!’

  ‘Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how annoying it is when I leave it down?’ I grumbled, trying to flatten down some of the curls that were threatening to strangle me.

  ‘There really is a lot of it, isn’t there?’ he conceded as he pushed me aside to use the mirror to straighten his tie.

  I shoved him back, brandishing the hair straightener like a cattle prod. ‘Just give me a few more minutes to try to tame it, I won’t be much longer.’ Another curl attacked the straightening iron like a python trying to swallow its prey and I scorched my fingers trying to untangle it. Noah just laughed at me. He knew I was dawdling because I was lacking enthusiasm. I usually enjoyed dances but only because he and I would always muck around so much. This time I had promised myself I would hold back, and prove I really could be mature by giving him enough space to find a new Claudia. But infinitely more distressing was the possibility of running into Bane. His mum was the local piano and singing teacher and she had taught her son to play keyboard and guitar. As a result he was usually called upon to play in the student band and I wasn’t confident that dropping out of school would have changed that.

  A minute later, Noah kidnapped my hair straightener, forcing me to give up on my unruly mane and kiss Aunt Lily goodbye. She took a couple of hurried photos of us, complaining that she’d paid for my new gold dress and deserved a picture of me in it.

  ‘You make quite a striking couple,’ she said, and then stared at me meaningfully. The previous evening, after I’d explained to her who Bane was, she’d given me an uncomfortable lecture about behaving myself around Noah. She seemed to be under the impression that Bane’s animosity might someh
ow be caused by jealousy. As if maybe he saw us as something more than good friends. I thought about that one afternoon we had nicked Aunt Lily’s bottle of port, well over a year ago now. The make-out session that had resulted in the back of the shearing shed was never to be spoken of again. Nothing had happened since that day. No one had any reason to be jealous.

  I ducked out the door before she could unleash any embarrassing innuendoes.

  The hotel reception centre that the school had booked for our graduation dance was the classiest venue in town. That was a sad thought. It had been renovated the previous year so at least the silver textured wallpaper was no longer there. The dance floor was small but there weren’t many of us anyway so that was probably a good thing.

  We were served a posh meal that had all the good bits sliced too thinly and propped up into little tepees, but it was tasty. Noah polished off his food in record time and looked wistfully at Tessa’s plate. She had manoeuvred her way on to our table by simply moving Taylor’s handbag to her own spot and ignoring the resultant complaints. Smiling sweetly, she offered Noah half her steak and I shook my head in disappointment. She was going to have to develop a better immunity to his natural charisma if she hoped to spend any time with him. Either that or starve. Personally, I would never have relinquished an eye fillet no matter how much he begged.

  Towards the end of dinner the music morphed from a CD to the live band and sure enough, Bane stepped up to the keyboard. He was wearing a plain black shirt and black pants as if he was trying not to be noticed but I felt his eyes on me immediately. Forcing myself to eat rather than just fiddle with my fork, I finished my meal and sat humming along with the music. I didn’t know where to look. Luckily Taylor grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor with the rest of her friends—probably so she could sneak back and steal my spot at the table—and I fumbled after her, gratefully attempting to get lost in a sea of gyrating high school graduates. Dancing cautiously, I concentrated as hard as I could on not tripping in my heels because all I could think about was what Bane would do if he thought I was about to go arse-over-breakfast-time on the dance floor. I could feel his broody eyes on me the whole time.

  Half an hour later the band took a break and a CD came back on for the first of the slow dances. Noah sought me out and offered me his hand with a dramatic flourish, but I frowned in stern disapproval. He was supposed to be flirting with all the pretty girls.

  ‘Please, Lainie? You’re my best friend. I can’t not dance with you tonight. You’re being irrational.’

  He caught my eye and refused to let me look away until I relented. He was right. We were adults now. Surely this didn’t need to be so complicated. In resignation I put my hand in his and curtsied, so he batted his eyelashes and curtsied back, and I laughed. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tessa staring at us with her lips pressed together. Her eyebrows were too delicate for me to tell if she was annoyed or disappointed. Probably both.

  ‘You’d better make it up to her, Noah, she looks upset,’ I remarked as we swayed our way to the middle of the mob.

  ‘I will, I promise. She can have me all to herself for the rest of the night after this,’ he smiled, twirling me around effortlessly.

  ‘Really? All night?’ I teased.

  ‘You know what I mean. Tessa’s nice. Did you know she volunteers with the Country Fire Authority? She’s smart, too,’ he said slyly.

  ‘Well of course she is. She’s not Claudia! And she’s clearly smart enough to have out-manoeuvred the three other girls that tried to sit at our table tonight,’ I pointed out. ‘Not to mention how incredible she looks in those heels. They must be five inches at least. Don’t let her stand on your feet when you’re dancing, whatever you do. And take care of her. She’s going to be in agony by midnight.’

  ‘So why wear them?’ he asked in exasperation.

  ‘So she can look you in the eye, pea-brain! How else is she supposed to get you to notice her instead of looking straight over the top of her head?’ Honestly, boys could be so dense.

  ‘Oh, I notice her all right,’ he replied with a grin, then saw my raised eyebrows and cleared his throat self-consciously. ‘Well, all the boys do,’ he clarified. ‘She’s almost as pretty as you are.’

  I rolled my eyes at him. ‘You need to stop teasing me like that. People get the wrong idea. They think you mean it!’ Now that I was paying attention, I was beginning to see where Aunt Lily was coming from. Our easy-going banter could easily be misconstrued.

  ‘But I do mean it, Lainie! You look incredible in that dress, and the last thing you need are high heels to get anyone to notice you.’

  I laughed in relief. Hearing him tease me about my height was much more acceptable.

  We danced for a while in silence and when the music slowed to something very couple-friendly I refused to feel weird about it. He pulled me in against his chest and I let myself absorb the familiar feel of his presence as if I could store up his texture like a memory. I would miss the dancing. I didn’t think there would be many more opportunities for it in the future. He was one of the few people I could dance with who was taller than I was. It was hard to feel graceful if your partner was a head shorter than you. Regretfully the song ended and as we both looked around for Tessa I felt a tap on my shoulder.

  I froze.

  Deep breath. Even Bane wouldn’t pull any freaky crap in the middle of all these people, would he? I could do this. I would just speak to him like a mature adult. Easy.

  But when I turned around, it was Jake Evans waiting nervously, not Bane.

  ‘Hi, Lainie. I just wanted to see if you were okay. You know, after yesterday.’ He scrubbed his fingers through his ridiculously high hairdo, presumably to mess it up more perfectly. ‘I’m really sorry about Frawley. I don’t know why he went after you.’

  ‘I’m sorry he died.’ It was hard to know what else to say.

  ‘He was just a stupid animal,’ Jake mumbled, sounding resentful. ‘And Bane was the one who hit him.’ There was just a hint of venom in his voice to reveal how upset he really was. Enough that it carried through to his next words too. ‘How did you do it, Lainie? Was it him or you?’

  A noise came out of my mouth that could have sounded something like an answer if we’d known how to speak Chicken.

  ‘Was what her, Jake?’ came a dark voice from behind Noah. We all turned to see Bane standing nearby, glowering as only he could.

  ‘Her arm,’ Jake challenged.

  ‘The one that got covered in left over bits of your feral dog? She should charge you for having to dry-clean its blood off her dress.’

  Jake’s ears turned the same shade of crimson as his shirt. ‘Are you trying to imply that all you did was wipe Frawley’s blood off her? And since when have you ever come that close to her without trying to spit at her, anyway? That’s bullsh—’

  ‘Okay! That’s enough, mate,’ Noah interrupted quickly. ‘This is the last time you two ever need to see each other, so how about we just leave things nice and friendly?’

  Both Bane and Jake took a small step back, probably obeying Noah out of habit more than anything else. Then Jake took one last annoyed glance at me and walked off, pretending to have spotted a friend to talk to, while Bane continued to stand there with his hands in his pockets and look even more sullen than usual, impossible as that seemed. He eyed Noah warily, like he would watch a tiger that was about to attack at any second. It was not the sort of look Noah ever got from people.

  I laid a hand on Noah’s arm. ‘It’s okay, I’ll need to face him eventually,’ I said.

  He nodded, still looking troubled, but turned away to find Tessa.

  I didn’t really know what to say to Bane so instead I tugged his hand out of his pocket and led him to the centre of the dance floor. It was the simplest way I could think of to stop him from talking. He looked stunned. We had never been even remotely friendl
y to one another, so inviting him to dance was clearly the last thing he expected from me. Everyone else who noticed us looked equally confused. Bane was one of those guys who was extremely good looking—especially with those gorgeous illegally long eyelashes—but far too intimidating for anyone to actually consider flirting with. Everyone knew he was slightly dangerous and unstable, and not in that sexy arrogant bad boy way either. He was the sort of guy that looked so surly and unsure of himself that parents automatically steered young children away from him on the street. As far as I knew no one had ever seen him dance. It was risky but I didn’t know what else to do. I simply wasn’t ready to talk yet.

  An upbeat Preatures song began to play, and I breathed a massive sigh of relief that it wasn’t another romantic slow one, but as I let go of his hand and began to dance awkwardly, he frowned. Perhaps he thought I was somehow trying to embarrass him in front of everybody. So he just stood there. Perfectly still.

  Just staring at me.

  Bastard.

  Was he really just going to stand there for the whole song while I danced around on my own with everyone watching us? It was mortifying. But just as I was about to stalk away in a huff, he reached for me, grabbed me firmly around the waist and pulled me in close.

  For a couple of seconds, we both froze and I found myself blinking at his collarbone.

  When had he grown so tall? Last year he had been in the front row of the class photo and didn’t seem to have any shoulders, but now apparently God had finally gotten around to finishing blowing him up. And how had he spent all that time up on stage and still managed to smell like fresh linen? The ridiculous observation didn’t do much to help me think straight as I felt a deeply disturbing sensation, like my heart had just reversed all its rhythms and was now beating backwards.