The Very Thought of You

by Iris Morland

  "I just, I guess I'm worried he hates me now." Megan winced at the pathetic confession, but it was true. It was also deeply ironic, given that she had hated him for so many years. "He's definitely not telling me something, and as of right now, I'm not feeling generous enough not to find out what it is from you."

  Jubilee frowned. "You have to know that my family isn't particularly good at talking about difficult things." She traced an invisible line on the countertop. "I'm not even allowed to talk about having cancer around my parents because it upsets them. So there are things in my siblings' lives that either we just don't talk about or that most of us don't even know about."

  "That's rough."

  "It is what it is. But to answer your question—I do know that something happened to Caleb his senior year of high school. You know his friend Daniel Finley died, right? In a car accident?"

  Megan nodded. She'd known that Caleb and Daniel had been best friends for a long time and that Daniel's death had been difficult on everyone. Her heart clenched for Caleb's loss. Was this some kind of latent grief? Had something Megan said triggered something in Caleb in regard to the loss of his friend?

  "Well, after that happened, Caleb wasn't the same. I mean, I was still a kid, but he wasn't my fun brother anymore for a while. He wouldn't talk to anyone, and he was just...angry. Then he went away to college and I barely saw him until he returned to become a police officer."

  "But that's all you know?"

  Jubilee smiled a sad smile. "It is. I'm sorry. I'm being totally unhelpful, aren't I?"

  "No, I think you're onto something. I would just ask him, you know, if I felt like he would answer honestly.”

  Jubilee leaned toward her. "The thing is, is that I think out of everyone, he would tell you. He's a different person when he's around you. Seriously."

  Megan's throat tightened. She could only squeeze Jubilee's hand in thanks.

  When Caleb drove by The Rise and Shine near closing time, he parked outside and waited. He'd avoided Megan for days now, except from afar. Seeing her but not talking to her, not touching her, not kissing her—it was a particular kind of torture.

  He wanted to tell her about Daniel, but she'd already admitted how much she hated people just like him. How ironic. And she'd hated him for so long. If Caleb weren't so torn up about everything, he'd be amused at the similarities.

  Around six o'clock, he waited for Megan to exit the bakery. Fifteen minutes passed, then thirty. Normally she cleaned up and walked home, but ever since she'd been followed, she drove home. He didn't see her car, though.

  He did, however, see someone who seemed shifty walking down the block. Caleb's body tensed as he studied the man: he had his hands shoved into his pockets, and he kept looking around. When the man got closer to the bakery, Caleb slowly opened his car door and got out. He waited. The man looked inside the bakery, and Caleb was about to approach him when the man shook his head and began walking again.

  Caleb waited. The man didn't return. He let out a breath and removed his hand from his gun. It was just some random guy. Probably had wanted to get something to eat but hadn't realized when The Rise and Shine closed.

  But anxiety still clawed at him. Without thinking, he went to the bakery's door and, finding it locked, pounded on the glass.

  When Megan didn't come to the door, he pulled out his phone to call her. The police officer in him was glad she wasn't answering the door alone, while the man in him was irritated that she wasn't going to let him inside so easily.

  Before he could call her, though, she came to the door. Seeing him, she put her hands on her hips and glared.

  "What do you want?" she called through the glass. "We're closed."

  "I need to talk to you." It was the only explanation he could come up with at the moment.

  She rolled her eyes, but finally, she unlocked the door and opened it. She didn't say anything when he stepped inside, but instead she waited, her expression impatient.

  He locked the door. Even though he wore his police uniform and was wearing a gun, he still felt like Megan was the one with the gun. The metaphorical gun. Then again, he'd done this to himself, hadn't he?

  He didn't think. He just said, "I've missed you."

  Her expression softened ever so slightly, but she didn't budge. "So you finally read my texts? Did your phone break or are you just an asshole?"

  "I'm sorry. I should've called. It's just—" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm an idiot. I wanted to see you. Are you okay? Why are you still here?"

  "Because this is my business."

  "You never stay this late."

  She opened her mouth to argue, but then she rolled her eyes. "I'm doing inventory. Which I need to finish, so, yeah. I'm going to go do that."

  Turning, she stalked to the back, and Caleb couldn't stop himself from drinking in her figure from behind. He let out a sigh, especially since he knew he'd be following her. No matter how hard he tried, he could never avoid the connection he felt for this woman.

  Stepping into the kitchen, he saw bags of ingredients on the counters. Megan grabbed her tablet, inputting numbers with a small frown. When she saw him, she didn't react. She merely continued to work.

  Caleb didn't mind the silence. He let her work, and he wandered through the kitchen, not looking for anything in particular. When he found some leftover muffins in a sack, he opened it and pilfered one for himself.

  Megan said, "Those aren't for you—"

  He bit into the muffin, grinning.

  "God, you're annoying. Go stand over there so you don't distract me."

  He did as she said, but only because he had no intention of not distracting her very shortly. His conscience told him he should leave her alone, but he didn't feel like paying attention to his conscience right that second. He'd missed her: the way her hair fell about her shoulders in auburn waves, or how when she bent over, he received a flash of creamy cleavage that went straight to his groin. How she fiddled with her necklace when she was thinking, or how she'd painted her fingernails a bright pink with red tips.

  He finished his muffin and waited.

  She tapped something into her tablet before moving to where Caleb stood. She didn't say anything, but merely brushed past him. Or she tried to. The counter blocked her from moving past him without touching him, and he wasn't about to let her go without touching her.

  He snaked an arm around her waist, holding her in place. He exulted in her indrawn breath, and he trailed his fingers across her belly to her breasts. Her nipples were already tight little buds. He couldn't stop the groan from bursting from his throat.

  But Megan wasn't about to surrender that easily. She pushed his arm aside and glared at him. When she crossed her arms and tapped her foot, he almost grinned.

  "What do you want, Caleb?" she finally asked in exasperation.

  He didn't touch her. Not this time. But he didn't need to. His gaze heated, he murmured, "I want you. I keep dreaming about you. The pillow that you slept on? It doesn't smell like you anymore. I want to see your beautiful body again, bared only to me. Taste your wetness on my tongue again. Hear the way you say my name when I plunge inside you. But mostly, I want you."

  She opened her mouth to respond—and then she just shook her head and turned away. "I don't have time for this."

  Clearly he was going to have to try a little harder to earn her forgiveness. Maneuvering around the counter, he blocked her once again from getting around him. "Megan," he cajoled. "Megan, Megan, Megan."

  "Great, you know my name." She patted his chest. "Bonus points if you can spell it. There's no 'h' in there, by the way. People love to add an 'h' and I have no idea why."

  "Megan Genevieve," he drawled, "you're gorgeous."

  Her eyes widened a little. "How do you know my middle name?" He was about to respond, but she rolled her eyes. "Wait, never mind. You're a cop. You can probably find my second-grade report card if you wanted to. By the way, the reason I only got a Satisfactory in 'being kind
to others' was because Jeff Sanderson stole my brownie at lunch and I kicked him in the shin for it."

  Caleb's smile widened at Megan's babbling. He reached out to touch her, but she darted away. The slight smile on her face gave him hope.

  She moved so the counter was between them, and to his immense annoyance and amusement, she leaned down on the counter so he could get a very nice eyeful of her cleavage.

  "You just going to stand there, Officer?"

  He raised an eyebrow. "You sure you want to taunt a guy with a gun?"

  "Which gun? You seemed to have two on you today, or you’re just really happy to see me."

  When he growled and tried to capture her, she laughed and slipped from his grasp. They played like that for some minutes, with Megan darting away and Caleb chasing. He almost caught her multiple times, but she somehow managed to wiggle free. Or maybe he just liked feeling her wiggle against him too much to stop.

  Finally, he cornered her in the pantry. A dim light bulb provided only a small measure of light, and he could almost imagine they were the only two people in the entire world. Leaning his arm against a shelf above her head, he murmured, "I've caught you."

  Her eyes gleamed as she trailed her fingers down his chest before cupping the impressive bulge in his pants. He grunted. "I think I've caught something, too." She stroked him, and Caleb's eyes almost rolled back inside his head.

  "You're playing with fire."

  "Maybe I want to get burned."

  He tangled his fingers in her hair and was about to kiss her when she asked, "But answer one question first."

  He stilled.

  "Is there something you need to tell me?" Her voice was soft, hopeful, yet apprehensive. The playful look in her eyes disappeared.

  He struggled. His lungs seemed like they couldn't inhale enough air. Fear coalesced inside him until it was like a living creature, tangling itself within him. He couldn't think, and he couldn't admit to himself that the possible loss of Megan from his life did something to him that was utterly terrifying.

  He pushed his conscience down, down, down. Before he kissed her, he replied, "No. There isn't anything."

  15

  Megan wanted to believe him, but when he wouldn't look her in the eye as he said it, somewhere deep inside she didn't believe him. It hurt. It hurt, and yet, when he kissed her, she didn't push him away.

  He was her ultimate weakness. I love a man with terrible secrets, she thought, feeling like she could cry at any moment.

  Caleb was relentless, and as he took her in his arms, she almost forgot everything. She almost forgot the feeling that the ground was shifting beneath them and if she didn't watch herself, she'd get caught and wouldn't be able to emerge as a whole person again.

  "I missed you." His lips roved across her cheeks, her nose, until he kissed down her throat. His breaths came in desperate pants, and it mirrored her own desire.

  She tangled her hands in his hair, and she gripped the strands so tightly that he winced a little. It was an unspoken thing—if you hurt me, I can hurt you—and he seemed to acknowledge it with a tiny nod.

  "Don't lie to me, Caleb." She licked at his bottom lip. "Because I don't forgive that easily."

  "Noted," he said before nipping at her bottom lip. His hands trailed down her sides until he gripped her waist, like he was afraid she'd run away from him again.

  If she were wise, she would run away. But at the moment, the last thing she wanted to be was wise. Pulling his head down, she kissed him, and he groaned when her tongue slicked inside his mouth.

  They exploded together. They kissed each other desperately, like they couldn't get close enough. As Caleb roved his hands down Megan's body to grip her ass, she touched him as well, loving the feeling of his muscles underneath his uniform. When her fingers got too close to the gun in his holster, he laughed against her mouth.

  "Probably should take that off." He unhooked his belt and pulled the holster off, setting it on a box nearby. "As long as you promise not to shoot me."

  "If you keep talking and not touching me, I might."

  He grinned and lifted her up, carrying her from the pantry out into the kitchen. Pushing bags of ingredients off of the counter, where they landed on the floor with a loud crash, he set her up on the counter. Now they were the same height. Megan opened her legs so he could step between them, and the feeling of his hardness against her already sensitive core made her shiver.

  Caleb ripped open her shirt, and buttons pinged around them. Megan let out a nervous giggle. She'd never had a guy so desperate for her he literally ripped her shirt open, but Caleb seemed almost crazed with need for her. He latched his mouth onto one nipple through the lace of her bra, and the wet and the heat sent frissons of pleasure through her.

  Reaching behind her back, she unhooked her bra. Caleb's eyes gleamed as her breasts came into view, swollen and begging for his touch and his mouth. He bit down on her right nipple—not enough to hurt, but enough that she felt the nip down to her toes—and she grabbed his hair. His tongue laved and his teeth bit, and when he sucked one nipple with intense pressure, Megan almost came out of her skin.

  But she didn't want him to be the only one in control. Pushing him away, she began to unbutton his shirt.

  "See, this is how you unbutton a shirt," she said with a laugh. "You don't have to rip it open, you know."

  "Tease me at your own risk," he warned, but she only laughed again.

  She pulled at his undershirt, and then he was bare-chested. His chest was scattered with dark chest hair. She traced the lines of his abdominals with a pleasured sigh. Swirling a finger around his belly button, she drank him in, loving how he trembled as she touched him. When she licked one of his flat nipples, he groaned.

  She avoided the obvious bulge in his pants, only because she wanted to torment him. She nipped at his collarbone before sucking on that spot, leaving a mark that she knew would be there for a while.

  "Did you just give me a hickey?" he asked in amusement.

  "Yes, and if you don't behave, I'll give you another one in a spot more noticeable." She licked down his sternum, his heart pounding under her mouth. "You smell so good."

  "I sprayed an entire bottle of AXE body spray on before I left."

  At that, she bit his pectoral. He yelped. And then she hopped down from the counter and kneeled in front of him, her hands busy on his belt buckle.

  "Megan..." he warned. "You're playing with fire."

  "You keep saying that, and yet I have a hard time really caring." She delved inside his pants and boxers to enclose her hand around his hardened length. The skin was silky soft around a cock as hard as granite, and she leaned forward to lick the pearl of moisture that had formed at the tip.

  He swore, but he didn't tell her to stop. His hands clenched at his sides, and she had a feeling he was barely keeping himself from having her take him entirely into her mouth.

  With a coy smile, she did just that. He was too big to take to the very root, but she relaxed her throat until his tip hit the back of it. He touched her hair, almost reverently, as she sucked him and moved her mouth up and down his length. His cock glistened with the moisture, and to her delight, he only grew harder. Larger. Her body tingled as she took him deeper and faster, cupping his balls in her other hand.

  "Fuck, Megan. Fuck."

  She knew he was close. Letting him free of her mouth, she licked the sensitive underside, her gaze glued to Caleb's.

  He muttered something before pulling her up to meet his kiss. His cock bobbed between them, and he pressed it against her soft belly. With quick movements, he undid her jeans and cupped her mound through the thin fabric of her panties. She knew she was drenched already. Only a few touches would set her off.

  But she didn't want to come without him, and he gave her a look that said the same. Moving her onto the counter again, he yanked her jeans and panties off of her, her shoes clattering to the floor along with her clothes. The counter was cool underneath her ass, but
she barely registered the temperature. She was on fire for Caleb, and a blush had covered her from her breasts to her ears.

  He kicked her legs apart so he could step inside them. They both groaned when his cock touched the sodden curls of her sex, and when he took hold of his length and began to rub her sex, she started quivering uncontrollably. He brushed her clit with the tip, and then he barely entered her. He kept doing that, over and over, and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders in desperation.

  He kissed her shoulder before taking hold of her hips so he could enter her fully. Inch by inch, he possessed her, until he was inside her to the hilt. Her clit brushed against his pelvis, and she tipped her head back from the sheer sensation.

  That was when Caleb cursed and tried to pull out. When she looked at him, he said, "Condom. I don't have one."

  Her brain was slow to process this. Condom. That was something they needed. He didn't have one. She didn't have one, because who kept condoms at a bakery? Why did they need one? Oh, right.

  Reality tried to intrude, but she pushed it aside. "Just pull out," she said.

  "You sure?"

  She undulated against him. "Totally, completely sure."

  "Thank God." A second later, he started plunging inside her, and she squealed in delight. The feeling of his bare cock inside her couldn't compare, and she wondered why they hadn't done this before. Her brain tried to say there was a reason, but she couldn't find it. She didn't want to find it.

  She just wanted him to keep filling her, his strokes relentless. He leaned his forehead against hers, and their breaths puffed together as he went faster. Megan moved with him; his fingers dug harder into her upper thighs, using that as leverage to go faster, harder.

  "Come for me, baby, God, come for me." His voice was pleading. He pressed her clit with his thumb as he filled her. The sensation of his cock stretching her, his thumb on her sensitive bundle of nerves, collided together. She shattered.

  Her back bowed as she came, and shivers racked her frame. She barely heard Caleb swear before he pulled out. She watched as he came on her belly, and it was the most erotic sight she'd seen in ages: Caleb losing control like this, his face contorted, his body shaking with pleasure.