You Matter

by Jazzy Mitchell

  Reggie’s gaze softens. “Christina, you must know you’re beautiful. You have nothing to worry about. I adore you.” She rests her hands on Chrissy’s hips, her grip strong. Yet, Reggie trembles.

  “Are you okay?” Chrissy asks.

  “Yes.” Reggie exhales. “With everything that happened yesterday…” She shakes her head. “I think of how fragile life is, how easily I can lose you. I can’t imagine life without you.”

  Chrissy wants nothing more than to give her everything. “You tether me, keep me anchored. Any time I’m afraid or feel like I don’t matter, I think of you.” She takes one of Reggie’s hands and pulls her to the bath.

  The spacious marble bathroom contains a large cast iron, clawfoot tub next to a gas fireplace encased in glass through which one can see the bedroom suite. Chrissy never got to use the tub before, due to her injuries, and she’s excited to sink into it. On the other side of the tub is a glass shower, and to its left, a double sink. The toilet is positioned in a small alcove behind a door on the far side of the room to afford privacy. The ambiance created through the cozy fire and romantic, candlelit tub area is undeniable. She takes a deep breath of the aromatic bath oils, the scent soothing.

  Reggie looks at her over her shoulder with a smirk and a raised eyebrow as she bends over the tub, testing the water temperature. “Ready?”

  “Yes. Let me get in first, so you can rest against me.” Chrissy approaches the tub, delivering a chaste kiss before climbing in the warm water. Once she’s comfortable, she holds out her arms. “Come here.”

  “Are you sure your ribs are healed enough?”

  “I’m sure. I’ve been jogging with no pain.” A slow smile crawls across Reggie’s face before she steps in the tub and lies back. Closing her eyes at the sensation of Reggie’s body sinking into hers, of feeling her weight, her skin, her presence, Chrissy rests her cheek on Reggie’s head and sighs. Humming, Chrissy links her hands around Reggie and rests them on Reggie’s belly.

  When Chrissy feels how tight Reggie’s muscles are, she silently curses. Even though they enjoyed a fun night with Cathy and David, yesterday’s events must have rattled Reggie more than she let on. She’s relieved when Reggie relaxes little by little, as they sit in a comfortable silence.

  “Reggie, you know there was no chance I would break up with you so I could get back into my parents’ good graces. Right?” When Reggie stiffens up, Chrissy sighs. “I’m sorry you felt I might. That’s on me. I don’t tell you enough how important you are to me.”

  Reggie turns her head as she sits up so their eyes can connect. “I was afraid I’d lose you, and I feel bad about it. I should have trusted you. You’ve told me how much I mean to you. Please don’t feel like you haven’t. But having an opportunity to reconcile with your parents…that’s attractive for any child.”

  “Not to me, not under those terms. So, you don’t need to worry. I love you. I’m with you.” She leans forward to kiss her.

  Reggie turns back around and sinks into Chrissy’s welcoming arms once again. Chrissy moves Reggie’s hair away so her lips can explore the area. She loves how sensitive Reggie’s neck is. Hearing her breathless moans inspires Chrissy to continue delivering open-mouthed kisses down her neck, licking at the base before sucking on the pulse point. Reggie’s heart’s beating rapidly under her lips.

  “I love feeling you move against me,” Chrissy admits, as she nudges Reggie’s neck in the other direction and begins lavishing attention to that side. “You fit perfectly.” She allows her hands to wander up Reggie’s sides, cupping the underside of perfect breasts. Reggie becomes restless, her body tensing with arousal. Each time Reggie shifts, her tight backside rubs against Chrissy. “Let’s get out.”

  Reggie steps out, extending a hand to help Chrissy. They grab towels and dry off before moving to the bed. Reggie lies down, and Chrissy crawls over her, nibbling on her collarbone. She covers Reggie’s breast with her hand, brushing her thumb against a tight nipple. Reggie’s whimpers spur Chrissy to lower her hand to Reggie’s thigh, stroking her from hip to knee.

  “Please, Christina. I need you.”

  “You’ve got me,” Chrissy says, allowing her fingers to explore between Reggie’s legs. Her fingers move through viscous fluid, and Chrissy focuses on Reggie’s responses. Resting her hand on Reggie’s trembling lower belly, she rubs her quivering, stiff clitoris, circling it before turning her attention to Reggie’s opening. She enters, stimulating the nerves by rotating her finger. With each shallow thrust, Chrissy allows more of her finger to enter until she’s sheathed it entirely within Reggie.

  “More, darling, I need more.”

  Chrissy adds another finger, thrusting more forcefully as Reggie gyrates against her. Chrissy moves her thumb to play with the bundle of nerves, pulsating, as Reggie gets closer to climax. She moves around, brushing over the sensitive bud every so often while continuing to fill Reggie at an increasingly demanding pace. Reggie keens, her inner walls tightening, her body shaking, and her hands latching on to Chrissy’s mane of curls. Chrissy watches in awe as her back bows and she screeches out a loud, sustained shout. Reggie’s inner muscles grasp at her fingers, and Chrissy keeps thrusting into her, hitting her G-spot and pulling delicious sounds out of Reggie. Her body quakes, and with an animalistic howl, Reggie falls over the precipice into her second climax. Chrissy gentles her movements, guiding Reggie through the aftershocks while delivering small kisses to her flushed chest.

  “You’re breathtaking. I love how you fall apart in my arms,” Chrissy says, running her hand over Reggie’s legs, sides, stomach. Reggie lies spent, her eyes hooded, while she catches her breath.

  “That was…that was incredible.” Reggie pants. “You really do bring your A game to the bedroom, don’t you?”

  Reggie looks up through lowered lashes, a smirk on her face, and Chrissy doesn’t try to hold back her laughter. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to get bored with me.”

  “No chance of that,” Reggie murmurs, the satisfied glint in her eyes entrancing. She delivers an intense kiss, one that means Chrissy’s about to experience the incredible privilege of having Reggie make love to her.

  After another round of lovemaking, Reggie’s cell phone rings, rending the peacefulness and stirring Chrissy from a light sleep. She listens to Reggie’s side of the conversation, becoming concerned.

  “How could that happen?” Reggie’s eyebrows scrunch up. “Why am I finding out a day later? Right. Thank you.” She places her phone on the bedside table and squeezes the bridge of her nose.

  “What’s going on?”

  “That was Detective Oliver. Frank escaped yesterday while he was waiting to be transported back to jail. The authorities are on high alert, and they believe he’s fled the state. Just in case, they’re assigning a patrol car to sit out front and another at the law firm.”

  A chill runs through Chrissy. “How could he escape?” Chrissy makes her way to the window and looks outside. She spots the patrol car, but it doesn’t make her feel any better. Reggie comes to stand next to her and slides an arm around her waist. “Should we go somewhere else?” She remembers the hate in his eyes, his drive to cut everyone down between him and Reggie. Knowing he’s loose makes Chrissy wish they were far away from Boston.

  “No. I doubt he knows where I live, and even if he does, we have protection.”

  “Still. He came after you once.” He’ll come after her again. Why else escape? This is his only goal. Nothing else matters to him anymore.

  “I know what you’re thinking, but if he meant to attack me, he could have done it yesterday after work. I doubt he stuck around.”

  Rocking back and forth, Chrissy tries to fight back the fear threatening to consume her. She wraps her arms around herself, shivering. “We don’t know that, though. He could be waiting for the perfect chance to attack.”

  “We’re okay.” Reggie squeezes her. “The detective said he’d keep us updated. Let’s get some sleep. You’ll see. By tomorrow,
they’ll have him back in custody.”

  Although it takes some time after they return to the bed and Chrissy sinks into Reggie’s arms, she eventually falls into a deep sleep. When she wakes up with a jolt, Chrissy holds her breath, peering around the dark bedroom, listening hard. She lifts her head, trying to figure out what woke her. Reggie is wrapped around her, arm over her waist and leg resting between hers. She knows as soon as she gets up, Reggie will awaken. Silence greets her, so Chrissy rests her head back on the pillow, deciding whatever woke her is nothing to worry about. Then she hears it—movement in the kitchen, like a drawer being opened. She recognizes the sound since usually it signifies food is being prepared. Reggie claims she’s worse than a dog with the way she trots into the kitchen to see what’s cooking.

  Although Chrissy worries she’s hearing phantom noises, she can’t take a chance while Hogan’s on the loose. “Reggie.” She pats her arm while sitting up.

  Reggie’s eyes blink open, a hand rising to rub one as she focuses on Chrissy. “What’s the matter?”

  “I heard something. Throw some clothes on.” Chrissy gets up and pulls jeans and a sweatshirt from her overnight bag, listening for more noises. She breaks out in a cold sweat, fingers fumbling while she tries to button her jeans. This can’t be happening again. She freezes when she hears a step squeak. “Someone’s coming.” She moves to the door and closes it, locking it. Turning around, she sees Reggie is dressed, eyes wide and cell phone in her hand. “Good idea. Call the cops.”

  While Reggie talks to the emergency operator, Chrissy drags an overstuffed chair across the room and jams it under the doorknob. The doorknob turns.

  “Whoever you are, leave. The police are on their way.” Her voice comes out in a yelp, fear crushing her lungs.

  A banging on the door makes Chrissy jump back, and she pulls Reggie to the other side of the room, near the windows. Chrissy takes a quick peek outside. Two police officers are getting out of the patrol car, readying their guns while approaching the home.

  “The police are coming inside,” she murmurs in Reggie’s ear. “We’ll be okay.” Reggie’s gripping the phone, listening to the operator while staring at the door. Her face is pale, lips pulled into a straight line.

  Two shots rip through the silence, the wood of the bedroom door splintering. Chrissy screams. All her bravado from the last time Hogan attacked has deserted her. Chrissy’s eyes dart around the room, looking for something she can use as a weapon.

  “I’m going to kill you, Reggie Esposito. You don’t get to be happy after ruining my life. By the time the police get here, you’ll be dead,” Hogan yells while banging on the door.

  The door is buckling under his assault, and Chrissy is frozen. The hair on her arms stands on end. She gasps, not able to catch her breath. Hogan pushes his hand through the wrecked door and shoves the chair out of the way. His eyes glow in the dark, the rest of his form in shadow.

  “I see you.” He raises his gun and aims.

  Before Chrissy can pull Reggie behind her, Reggie throws her down to the ground so they can hide behind the bed. Three bullets lodge into the thick, wooden baseboard, and Chrissy screeches. Near her is a free-standing lamp, and she grabs it, pulling the cord from the socket and launching it at Hogan. It hits him in the head.

  “Fuck! You cunt. You’ll pay for that.” He stalks toward them, giving them a maniacal smile, blood running down his forehead.

  Several shots are fired, and Chrissy waits for the pain to envelop her. Hogan’s face turns from victorious to confused to pained. He drops to the ground, his gun beside him, and two police officers run into the room. Looking down at Hogan, Chrissy watches a pool of blood begin to spread underneath him, staining the area rug.

  Hands touch her, and a frantic voice buzzes around her head. She can’t focus on anything other than the dead man in front of her. It isn’t until hands frame her face, until a well-loved voice breaks through her shock, that Chrissy realizes Reggie is talking to her. She blinks several times and swallows back bile as she concentrates on Reggie, the woman who’s crying and pleading and shaking before her.

  “I’m okay.” She examines Reggie for any wounds and is reassured she isn’t hurt. Next, she takes stock of her own body and is surprised to find she isn’t hurt, either. “He didn’t shoot me.”

  She pulls Reggie into a tight embrace, closing her eyes as the last several minutes overwhelm her. She begins to tremble, tears escaping her eyes. Reggie pulls her closer and whispers a steady stream of comforting words as she fights to regain control.

  “I’m sorry, but we’re going to need to cordon off this room so we can process the crime scene,” a female officer about her age says.

  “Okay. Can I take my phone? It’s on the bedside table.” Chrissy points to it on the other side of the bed.

  “Let me make sure they took pictures over there and that they don’t need it. In the meantime, let’s get you both downstairs.” She extends her hand toward the door, and Chrissy makes a wide berth around Hogan, Reggie maintaining an arm around her waist as they leave the room.

  The next few hours are a blur. They give statements and wait in the parlor while talking to Ben and Cathy and even Reggie’s mother. Reggie has finally closed her eyes for an impromptu nap, but Chrissy’s too wired to rest. It’s about six in the morning. This whole ordeal in what-the-fuckedness is finally over. Reggie’s safe, and Chrissy thinks she might be able to accept that her being with Reggie made a difference.

  ***

  Gentle kisses on her cheek wake Chrissy in the best possible way. Humming, she places her hand over Reggie’s warm, wandering fingers, lifting them to her lips to suck each one while relishing the whimpers breathed into her hair. Tongue, lips, and teeth attack behind her ear, in the crook of her neck, over her pulse point, and she revels in Reggie’s power to reduce her into a weak, trembling mess.

  “Merry Christmas, Christina,” Reggie says, pulling Chrissy’s hips into her body and grinding against her backside. Her hands cup Chrissy’s breasts, drawing out a needy moan.

  “Merry Christmas, Reggie.” Chrissy pants as Reggie continues to tweak her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and push into Chrissy’s body again and again. Not able to take anymore, Chrissy rolls over and draws Reggie into her arms, holding her close as she kisses smiling lips.

  “I love waking up with you. And I particularly love waking up with you naked.”

  Reggie puffs out a surprised laugh that turns into a needy mewl when Chrissy takes one of her breasts into her mouth, flicking the hardened nub with her tongue. She rolls Reggie on her back, placing her hands on either side of Reggie’s shoulders, as Reggie’s legs wrap around her hips. Chrissy switches to the other breast, chewing on it gently, knowing how much Reggie enjoys it. Fingers weave through her hair, pulling lightly at her roots, before one hand cups her chin and pulls upward. Chrissy follows Reggie’s directive and leans up to meet her lips.

  Their kiss is fire and desire and love. Chrissy can’t get enough. Never believes she will get enough. Doesn’t want to get enough. No. She always wants to feel this way, always wants to be held by Reggie, always wants to be the only one who receives these looks and kisses and hands wandering over her body and making her forget everything but Reggie.

  When the kiss breaks, she moves back. They smile at each other. “You make me so happy,” Chrissy whispers, suddenly shy. She rests her head on Reggie’s collarbone, distracting herself from her fears.

  It’s not like they don’t express their feelings. Even after two years of being together, they tell each other all the time, and their actions reinforce those words. Chrissy still has trouble believing Reggie loves her, but she won’t voice such insecurities to Reggie. She’d never want Reggie to believe she isn’t doing enough to reassure her.

  During these darkest hours, fears invade her mind. And she wonders. She wonders whether their being together might be due to Hogan’s attempts to kill Reggie, whether her gratefulness when Chrissy saved her
morphed into their being together. She wonders whether Reggie ever regrets that.

  But she knows better. While she used to think of herself as weak and unworthy of love, Reggie’s taught her how to be brave. How to voice her insecurities and listen. More than that, to accept. And although she sometimes falls back into those feelings of unworthiness, she will never let them persuade her into walking away from this relationship. Because Reggie is her water. Her sustenance. A precious elixir she’ll always want to drink.

  “Christina,” Reggie says, and her tone of voice holds a question. Chrissy kisses her collarbone in apology and concentrates on making Reggie feel her love.

  Squeaking in surprise, Chrissy finds herself on her back, Reggie smiling down on her. “What’s bothering you?” she asks, tilting her head to catch Chrissy’s eyes as she runs a finger down her cheek.

  “I don’t know. Remembering two years ago around this time.” Chrissy shrugs.

  Reggie’s face becomes somber. “I was glad to have you with me, although not under those circumstances. And my sisters were such asses.”

  Chrissy can’t help but grin. Her mind returns to Christmas Day two years ago

  when she had awakened to both Reggie’s sisters in front of her bed. “They weren’t that bad,” Chrissy says, releasing the memory.

  “They like you. They say you humanize me,” Reggie says. “You’ve even impressed Mother.” Her distaste for her mother makes it sound as if she’s eaten something sour. They’re still at odds, and Chrissy knows today will be challenging for Reggie.

  “You’ve always been warm and giving. I don’t know how they can be serious. They were probably trying to rile you up.” While she babbles, her hands rub up and down Reggie’s back. The feel of Reggie’s flexing muscles reminds her of how she woke up, of how they’re naked, of how their bodies are pressed together. “Enough of that,” she mutters and tangles her hand in glorious, silky locks to pull her in for a sizzling kiss.