by Amy Davies
“Did he ever hit you?”
She nods. “He did. I took it until you boys were three-years-old. I made plans to get away from him and take you both with me. But I failed—I failed you both.” She sobs into her hand—the one I’m not holding.
“You didn’t fail us, Mum. Would I have liked to know I had a twin brother? Fuck yeah. But I understand why you left; my father sounds like a complete wanker.” That makes Mum chuckle.
“He was. That day, I had it all planned out. But it all went to hell when your father came home early from his other girl’s house because Aiden fell ill at nursery and had to come home.” So, my father claimed an old lady and had two fucking kids, and he was fucking around on her. Holy fuck, I am so fucking glad she got rid of that piece of shit.
“I had you in the car and was getting ready to pick up Aiden when Trevor came storming over to me and told me to leave, take you, and go. I cried and asked him to let me leave with you both.”
“Let me guess… He threatened us, didn’t he?” Tears are streaming down her ghost-white cheeks.
“He did. He told me to either leave Aiden with him, or he would kill the three of us. I had no choice, Ace. I had to leave him. I couldn't risk either of you getting hurt, or worse.” I move towards her and hug her shrinking body, fearful I might hug her too tight and hurt her. The emotions running around my body are nowhere near what I imagine my mum has felt all these years, hiding this from me.
“I’m so sorry, baby boy. So sorry.” My mother sobs into my t-shirt. I hold her as tight as I can without causing her pain.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Where is Aiden now?” I release her and go to wipe her eyes, when a tissue appears at my right. I jump a little, seeing Ana standing there. She offers me a small smile, and I take the tissue from her and dry my mother's face.
“Thanks,” I tell her. She nods and steps back towards her chair, but I snag her wrist and tug her gently, signalling I want her to stay by my side. Our eyes stay locked as Ana closes the small distance between us. She must see my need for her written all over my face, because she settles at my side, leaning her body against mine and resting a hand around my waist, stroking the leather.
I take her kindness and warmth, even though I don’t deserve it after the way I treated her earlier. I was a fucking prick to her. I wouldn’t blame her if she kicked me in the balls.
“Your brother…” she takes a deep breath, “is a member of The Cornish Crusaders. I believe they’re a good club. Your father… is dead, Ace. He was a good for nothing man, anyway. Look at what he did to us.” I take in the relief that the fucker is already dead.
“I’m glad he’s already six foot under, because I would have fucking ripped that man apart piece by fucking piece.” I take a deep breath. “So, I need to go to Cornwall then, yeah?” I need to meet my brother. I shift slightly and wrap my arms around her waist, we are at the perfect height for me to do this with ease.
“Yes, go. See him, meet him. You both missed out on so much, honey. Do this for me. Do it for you both.” I nod in agreement, knowing she’s right. I do need to do this. I owe it to my mother to try and get my brother to come here and meet her. Does he know about her? If he did, why didn’t he come looking for her?
“Okay, Mum. I’ll go this weekend. That gives me a few days with you before I go down to get him and bring him home to you. You need to meet him too.”
“No, Ace. Just you. Seeing me may hurt him, and I don’t ever want to do that.” My heart aches for my mother. My brother should meet her before she...she… Motherfucker, I can’t say it.
“We’ll see.” Her eyes slowly close, showing her exhaustion. I sigh and gently move Ana away from me, so I can kiss the top of my mum’s head. I step back and drop my body into the chair next to the bed. Ana takes her chair in the corner. I watch her, while she watches my mother. Ana always wears her heart on her sleeve, and she’s showing how much she will miss Mum. Her eyes look like glass orbs in the light, filled with tears ready to fall.
My mother has had to live her life not seeing one of her children, not knowing what happened to him. Wondering if he is just like my father, or if he is his own man. I pray to fuck that Aiden is not a wanker like our father. I will lay the fucker out if he is.
Seeing Ana look like a woman who has the weight of the world on her shoulders makes my heart want her more. I’ve wanted her since I first saw her, but she always held me at arm's length. Fuck, she held me a mile away. Something is going on with her past and I will figure it out.
“You okay?” I ask her. She nods but doesn’t speak. “How is Zarah?” I try again. I want her to talk to me. I need to fucking apologise for the shit that went down earlier.
“She’s okay—still sore, but like she said: she’s alive.” I nod, my gut tightening because I need to man the fuck up now.
“Listen, I was a bastard earlier. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. None of this is your fault. So, I’m sorry. Take it because I don’t say I’m sorry often.” I chuckle—to myself more than her.
“Take it?” Her eyes are wide with shock.
“Yep.”
“God, you really are a poxy idiot, Ace McGowan. I understand why you were upset earlier, and yeah, I forgive you, but for you to sit there and have the cheek to tell me I need to take your apology... You have another thing coming if you think that will happen.” I smirk at her; seeing her riled up is a fucking turn on. My dick jerks in my jeans, and I adjust him. In front of her.
She gasps and looks out the window.
“What? You can’t expect my cock not to react to your feistiness coming through. Baby, you are hot as fuck when you’re pissed.”
“I—I’m not pissed, Ace. God.”
“Yeah, babe, you are, and I fucking love it. You’re not normally this talkative with me. It takes so much effort to get you to speak to me. I’m so used to short, quick answers. This…” I wave my hand back and forth between us, “is fucking amazing. I need and want more. From today, you will talk to me, no ifs or buts. You will talk to me. I want to know every-fucking-thing you and your sister are hiding from me. No more.”
“No more what?” she asks, shifting her gaze back to mine.
“Waiting.” I leave it at that.
Ace
My hands grip the handlebars on my bike, turning the skin white. My breathing is tight, and my chest feels like a ton of cement has been poured over me. I look to the service station, willing Ana to walk through the automatic doors and help me breathe again.
Seven days ago, my mother, the woman who gave me life, took her last breath. The fucking reaper came and took her from me. From all of us. She got weaker and weaker as the hours passed. It was fucking crushing to see her slowly die in front of me. The club was in the room with her. The doctors told us she was too weak to move, to take home, so they let everyone who could fit into her room be there.
The boys brought Zarah down to her room to say goodbye. I’m glad she was there, because Ana needed her. The room was filled with a group of men in denim and leather. The nurses didn’t know what to do with us, so they let us be.
I sat on the bed, with one arm slung over the back of Mum’s bed, waiting for her to slip away. I stroked the side of her face, taking in all the contact I could get before she left us. We talked some more about my brother, and little tidbits here and there between her sleeping.
The silence in the room was suffocating.
And deafening at the same time.
To be fair to the doctors and nurses, they didn’t fiddle with Mum a lot. They let her be and allowed her to spend time with us. Then at nine-twenty-three p.m., Nancy Harris passed away. The best woman I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life. The best woman I could have asked to be my mum. My fucking world.
Mum’s funeral is in three days, so here I am, almost at my brother’s clubhouse. I really had hoped Aiden could have met Mum before she passed, but shit happens, and she was too fucking tired to hold on.
Ana finally walks out of the double doors and heads for me. I can tell she’s been crying again because her eyes are red. She offers me the cup of coffee, and I take it without words.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks. Ana has shown she’s no longer afraid to talk to me since that night in the hospital. I told her no more waiting around for her to get used to me. I haven’t told her she’s mine yet—I will ease her into that—but I think she has some kind of clue.
I take her hand and lead her over to the picnic bench off to the left. I make her sit next to me, so I can keep her close and smell her perfume or whatever the shit it is she sprays on her body.
I lean in and smell her neck. She stiffens a little but doesn’t pull away.
“I would rather talk about you, babe. Tell me about my girl.” I growl into her neck as her scent makes my cock thicken in my jeans. My legs are straddling the bench, and I close in on Ana, so my legs are pretty much caging her in. I love having her here; it feels so fucking right.
But what I wouldn’t give for her to be straddling me and taking my cock fast and hard…
“Fuck,” I mutter, and breathe out. “You drive my cock fucking crazy. When are you going to let me between these creamy thighs, baby?” A gasp comes from her and she tries to move back from me.
“Ace.” My name leaves her lips in a whisper but also sounds all breathy. Yeah, she likes the dirty talk. Good to know.
“What? I told you no more waiting. But we’ll talk more after I deal with today, and Mum’s funeral.” I kiss the skin behind her ear and she shivers. I need to change the subject before I take her hard and fast here in front of everyone.
“Drink up so we can hit the road.” We finish our coffee, people-watching in silence, before we get on the road and deal with the shit storm I’m sure will come our way.
I pull up outside the Cornish Crusaders MC clubhouse. It’s your typical clubhouse, a prospect on the gate, and I remove my helmet and turn to him.
“I’m here to see Aiden. Get him for me,” I demand. I need to show dominance here, otherwise they’ll think I’m a fucking pussy.
“Who are you?” the little prick asks.
“Boy, don’t fuck with me. Do what you’re fucking told.”
“Ace, be nice,” Ana whispers from behind me.
“Fuck nice, babe.” I look back at the prospect and cock an eyebrow. Fucker knows what I want. He radios through, and I see a group of men come towards us. All in leather and denim, just like me.
I spot him in the middle. There is no fucking way in hell he can he deny we’re brothers; we look almost identical.
Ana gasps behind me, and I turn my head to look at her. Her hand is covering her mouth in shock.
“Hey,” he says.
“Aiden?” I say his name.
“Who the hell are you?” he asks, sounding pissed and ready to throat punch me.
“I’m Ace.” I hold my hand out for him to shake. I may be a bad-arse biker, but Mum brought me up with manners to use when needed.
“What do you want?” He folds his arms and stands just like I do. Shoulders tight, legs spread apart. It’s a defence stance I use to intimidate people. My heart pounds in my chest.
“Umm…” I look back at Ana. She gives me a reassuring nod, and I turn back to the biker standing in front of me, who thinks he’s scaring me. “Can we maybe talk?” I ask him. But if he's anything like me, he’ll want his brother at his back for this. He doesn't know me from Adam, so he doesn't trust me, even though I am him, in retrospect. I feel Ana’s hand on the small of my back, and my chest expands.
“Go ahead.”
“In private,” I respond.
“How the hell do you know who I am?” Aiden grinds out, his jaw clenching.
“I’ll tell you. Can we go somewhere—where I can explain it all?” I ask again. I’m asking, even though I know he’s a stubborn fuckhead and won’t budge.
“No, you tell me now. How do you know me?” he asks again, getting pissed at me, but fuck if I care.
“I’m your brother,” I state.
“You’re lying. I don’t have a brother.” He doesn’t stick around to listen to what I have to say. He turns to the woman next to him and steers her towards the clubhouse. I need this prick to listen to me, for fucks sake.
“Please. Our parents are Trevor McGowan and Nancy Harris. You’re my twin brother, Aiden.”
The woman next to him gasps and snaps her head to look at him, then back to me, and asks,
“Is it true?”
“Yeah. I only found out about Aiden a week ago. I didn’t know he existed.”
“Babe, let’s go home and talk to them.” Clearly she’s his woman, going by the way she’s touching him. Aiden nods and we head out to their place, Ana on the back of my bike again, making my dick hard in this very awkward situation.
We pull up outside their house and the woman calls to us,
“Come on in.”
I place my hand on the small of Ana’s back and guide her into the house. We both sit on the couch, barely touching. Ana is still very unsure of what’s happening between us, but fuck me, once this shit is over with, she will know who the fuck she belongs to. We’ve wasted so much time already. But no more. No-fucking-more.
“I’ll get some tea.” Before she can step out of the room, Aiden grips her hand and speaks.
“Flower, not everyone drinks tea.”
“We’re fine, honestly. Don’t trouble yourself,” I say. I need a fucking whiskey not fucking tea, but I won't say anything because she is being polite, plus she seems to be my brother’s woman. My brother. Fucking hell, it still feels weird having that shit racing around my head.
Aiden speaks. “Come and sit, flower.”
“I want some tea,” she whines, but not in an annoying way.
“I’ll make you some tea. Please, sit down,” Aiden tells her. A look passes between them: love and adoration.
“Is everything okay?” I ask them. Is she ill? Oh shit, and I’m about to tell him about our mum. She sits on the couch and kicks off her shoes, before tucking her legs under her arse.
“Yeah, your brother thinks that me being pregnant means I can’t lift a kettle.” She shoots a glare at him, but he ignores her and walks into the kitchen.
“How far along are you?” Ana asks from my side.
“Oh, sorry. This is my friend, Ana.” I introduce them.
“I’m fifteen weeks. I’ve got a long way to go yet,” she explains to us, raising her voice. I can only guess to make sure Aiden hears her. I look at Ana and down to her stomach. My mind spins with thoughts of her barefoot and pregnant in my kitchen, or at the compound, making sure every fucker knows she’s pregnant with my baby. I shake my head when Ana speaks.
“Ah, that’s great. Congratulations.” Aiden walks back in and places her mug of tea on the coffee table in front of us. “Ah, how sweet. He’s already bought you a ‘Mum’ mug.”
“No, we already have a son,” she explains. We sit in a few minutes of very fucking awkward silence until Ana elbows me. I look and frown at her, and she subtly nods, telling me to start talking.
“Yeah, so... Um, I’m not really sure how to say this, so I’m just gonna say it.” I rub my hands together, my palms sweating like a bitch in heat. “Our mum died last week.” I take a deep breath, forcing the emotion down for now.
“Oh, no,” gasps Aiden’s woman. She moves closer to him and takes his hand in hers. I carry on and explain all this painful shit that I have been through enough times already, but he needs this.
“She had breast cancer. She found a lump and never got it checked out. Before she died, she told me about you.”
“She ran off and left me.” Aiden’s anger shines through. I guess I can’t blame the bloke for that.
“Yeah, she told me. She explained that her plan was to take us both. She had money stashed away from our dad—”
He cuts me off, anger radiating from him. “Don’t call him that,” he snaps.
“He doesn’t deserve a title like that.” His woman touches his hand, calming him. Ana does that to me, not that she knows it. Yet.
“Sorry, I don’t remember him. Mum said he used to beat her. That she had one chance to get away, and she took it. She didn’t think you would be sent home from nursery, let alone that our father would pick you up.”
“Why didn’t she come back for him?” Flower asks.
I answer her. “She tried. He—threatened her. He said if she came near him again, he would kill her and me. She was scared. She had all these photos of you; she kept a close eye on you whenever she could. She asked me to tell you that she loved you, and she was sorry.”
“Sorry?” Aiden bites out. His face is red, and he’s one angry-looking fucker, but he doesn’t scare me. Fuck, it’s the look I see when I’m pissed and catch a glimpse of my reflection. He paces the floor and runs his hand over his beard. I snort, thinking it must be a twin thing, because I do that when I’m stressed or pissed.
“She left me with a man who beat me—repeatedly. I had the worst life.”
“Aiden.” I say his name, getting his attention.
“Solar. My name is Solar,” he growls at me.
“Come on, man. We’re brothers—twins,” I retort. His face twists in anger as he spits his words at me.
“No, my brothers are the guys back at that club. The ones who have always been there for me!” he screams at me.
“Aiden.” His woman gives him a warning tone as she climbs to her feet and places her tiny hands on his chest. To my utter shock, he nods at her.
“I think it’s a good idea if we let this information settle in and talk later. Are you guys staying around here?” Flower asks.
“Yeah, we’ll find a hotel or something,” Ana says, and comes to stand at my side. She slides her hand in mine, and I feel my skin prickle from the touch.
“If you write your number down, we’ll give you a call tomorrow,” Flower says, but Aiden just stands there, staring at nothing. I can only imagine all this shit running around his head. He’s like me; he needs to sort through everything before he makes a decision. I drop my gaze to Ana, bent over the coffee table, scribbling her number down.