The Christmas Journal

by Jackson, Kimberly B. ;

  Slowly, he ventured out into the world and started to live again. Not just as a shell of a man, but as a new Christian.

  He hadn’t dared ask for Ashley to come home, not directly, because he knew she was better off at college. But clearly God had heard his unspoken prayers.

  Now his baby girl was back in his life. Yes, things were turning around James Malone. With newfound zeal, he went back to repairing the porch. It was high time they whipped this place into shape.

  * * *

  With the last dish unloaded and stacked in the cabinet, Ashley stepped onto the front porch and sat down on the steps, muscles weak with fatigue. Crickets, frogs, and birds provided her with a musical serenade. Her dad came around the front of the house, followed by Cy.

  “Anyone hungry?” the slightly grayed James Malone asked.

  “I’ve definitely worked up an appetite. I’ll go and get the truck,” Cy said as he wiped the sweat from his face with his bandana.

  Ashley spoke up. “I don’t know how you’ve been able to live at the lodge. It’s filthy.” She didn’t mean to sound so condescending. She just didn’t understand how he managed in that mess.

  Cy glared. “Your dad had other priorities for me. Besides, I mostly eat out or at your dad’s. I just basically sleep and shower here.” After a long pause, Cy finished, “I’ll go get the truck.”

  Within minutes, Cy drove up in his old, white, beat-up Ford. Though not pleased with her riding accommodations, Ashley said nothing as she scooted in the middle between her dad and Cy. Uncomfortable was an understatement about how Ashley felt sandwiched between the two practical strangers. Luckily, it wasn’t long until they reached their destination of the local barbecue eatery. As the trio entered the building, the aroma of the smoked meat caused her stomach to growl, and not a small sound either.

  Cy looked her direction. “Hungry?”

  Heat crept along her cheeks, and she offered no response. As they waited on their food, Ashley felt the handyman eying her. Then it happened. Joyce Garrett strolled by the table, speaking only to Cy. Maybe she hadn’t recognized Ashley—after all it had been several years. Ashley remembered back to recess at school, after her mother’s death. Joyce’s father was the coroner, and his daughter was always ready to inform her classmates of the details of any fatality in the town, even if it were her own classmate’s mother.

  “Hello, Cy. We missed you the other night at the bar.”

  “Yeah, I had to work late.”

  “Mr. Malone, you’ve gotta let Cy off work early on Friday nights. There’s no one that can hold a candle to his line dancing.”

  “Cy knows he can quit work when he needs to. Don’t you, Cy?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Then, as if a light bulb went off in Joyce’s head, she turned her direction. “Is this Ashley?”

  “Hey, Joyce.” Ashley feigned the best smile she could manage.

  “I don’t believe it. When did you come back to town?”

  “Earlier today.”

  “Well, we’ll just have to get together and catch up. I won’t take no for an answer.” Her deep southern accent permeated Ashley’s nerves.

  “Of course,” Ashley said, her jaw clenched as the words came out.

  “Just give me a call. Cy has my cell number. I have an appointment I have to get to, so I’ll see you all later.” She touched Cy’s face as she left.

  Giving Cy a stern look, Ashley wondered how close the two were. Stop. It was none of her business who Cy Bridges was dating. They had just met today, and she really didn’t know him. Still, something was familiar to her about the handyman.

  After they finished their meals, Cy drove James and Ashley to their cabin while he went on to the lodge. It had been a long day, and Ashley was ready to shower and go to bed. Even if that meant sleeping on the couch until she could clean her room.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Awakened by the sound of pans clinking together, Ashley opened her eyes. Focusing on the front window, she grimaced to see that darkness still enclosed the forest.

  “Rise and shine, girl. Half of the morning is already gone.”

  “But it is still night outside,” she muttered as she pulled the quilt over her head.

  “It’s four-thirty in the morning. Breakfast is on the table. Now come and eat. Cy will be here shortly.”

  Barely able to stand, Ashley stumbled to the table and sat down to a plate filled with toast and scrambled eggs.

  “Dad, do we have any coffee?”

  “No, but I poured some orange juice for you. It’s healthier. Coffee is just caffeine and keeps a body up.”

  “That’s the idea,” Ashley said as she placed her egg on her toast.

  A knock at the door announced Cy’s arrival. As he entered the room, his white T-shirt revealed his muscular frame, which caught Ashley off-guard.

  “Hello, Ashley,” Cy said in an annoyingly alert and joyful voice.

  With a nod, Ashley continued eating her toast.

  “Not a morning person, I see.” He poured himself some orange juice. “You’ll be used to getting up with the chickens by the end of the week.”

  “I doubt it,” she mumbled. As she stood, soreness ran up and down her body, hurting in areas she didn’t know existed. Taking a step toward the hall, she moaned, causing her dad and Cy to laugh.

  “I’m glad my pain amuses you both,” she snapped.

  After changing into jeans and an old T-shirt, Ashley gasped when she saw the white spot on her expensive boots. She rubbed zealously, hoping to make it somehow disappear, but the damage was done. Unfortunately, one of the cleansers she used must have splattered on to the leather. The thought of her aunt’s stern, disapproving glare flashed before her eyes.

  After arriving back at the lodge, Cy resumed clearing the roads and brush around the acreage, while James finished up the porch by staining the new wood he’d replaced. Ashley started in one of the guest bedrooms. First, she opened the windows to let fresh air circulate, then she vacuumed, dusted, and flipped the mattress. She continued in each room, repeating the steps. By lunchtime, she’d finished six rooms with only a mere four more to clean. Of course, this wasn’t counting the ten guest bathrooms she still had to clean, as well as the great room, and at home, her room, and the one she did not know if she could handle—her parent’s bedroom.

  * * *

  As the day progressed, Ashley worked magic on each room to the point of exhaustion. It was no surprise to James when he discovered his daughter on the couch in the great room sound asleep. He’d learned quickly that she was a hard worker, though thinking back to when she was a little girl, he recalled she’d always tried her hardest to please then as well.

  Cy entered through the door. “Everybody ready to go?”

  “Shh,” James said.

  “Sorry. I didn’t see her. Is she okay?”

  “Just tuckered out is all.”

  James sat down in the old rocking chair placed in front of the massive fireplace. Cy joined him by sitting on the rock ledge of the hearth. Both of the men’s eyes focused on the sleeping Ashley.

  “James, why did you send Ashley away?”

  Looking down, James replied, “I was in a bad place at that time in my life.”

  Cy looked at him expectantly, clearly awaiting more information, but James provided nothing more. That wasn’t a time he enjoyed speaking about.

  “Okay then.” Abruptly, Cy stood and turned toward James. “I need to drive you and Ashley back home before it gets any later.”

  * * *

  The next morning, when Cy returned to pick up Ashley and James, he was in an upbeat mood, grinning much more than usual, and whistling, too.

  Immediately, Ashley noticed the faint smell of lavender floated around him. The same scent that wafted in the air after Joyce Garrett had stopped at their table. He was with her last night.

  The urge to bust him on his indiscretion was tempting, but really she’d no right to be judgmental. In fact she barely
knew him.

  So why did she care so much that he was seeing her school nemesis?

  They slipped into the truck. Cy tried to make some small talk as they traveled to the lodge, but Ashley ignored him, casting mean glances his direction every so often.

  “Are you mad, Ashley?”

  “No, why would you ask that?”

  “Because you keep giving me dirty looks.”

  “I’m not giving you any looks. Besides, if you want to waste your time with Joyce Garrett, be my guest.”

  “Joyce. That’s it.”

  “Joyce isn’t a very nice person, or at least she wasn’t when we were growing up. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I’m not going to get hurt. I know Joyce’s personality. I can take care of myself.”

  James interrupted, “Enough, you two. You’re going back and forth like a brother and sister fussing with each other.”

  “He started it,” Ashley said, eager to get the last word. He certainly aggravated her enough to be her brother.

  Pulling up to the cabin, James exited the vehicle. Ashley quickly followed behind, then Cy. Minutes later, everyone resumed their duties and were hard at work.

  Pain shot up Ashley’s arm as she scrubbed out the tub in one of the three larger bathrooms that needed cleaning. Soreness ached across her shoulders and the back of her legs as she squatted down to wipe down the cabinet.

  When the cleaning was finally finished for the day, Ashley’s body was exhausted. Collapsing onto the couch, she studied the massive fireplace. Her mind drifted back to all the fun times her family had playing host to the assortment of groups and families that traveled through their lives. Smiling, she recalled the time her mother had to prepare Christmas dinner for the fifteen people staying with them that particular holiday. She’d been so busy that she forgot to thaw the turkey. The “Christmas Pizza” was invented that year, with her mother designing bell peppers in the shape of a tree and the pepperoni serving as red ornaments. How she wanted to share the memory with her dad, to help him recall how happy those times had been, but in the end she declined the idea, unsure of how her father would handle the reflection.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The sound of the local high school marching band flooded the small restaurant. Ashley sat at a table enjoying a cup of coffee. It’d been a month since she’d had any, and she was going to savor the taste. James and Cy were off purchasing a new window that had to be replaced after her dad accidentally cracked the old one with his hammer.

  A man of small frame also sat in a nearby booth drinking a cup of java. He rudely stared at Ashley as she glared out the window and watched the band pass by. She glanced over at him, then away, and wondered what his deal was. He didn’t look familiar.

  As the waitress refilled Ashley’s cup, the teenager resumed looking out the window. Her heart picked up pace as she watched the upbeat celebration. The town was in the midst of its annual Fourth of July holiday, and happy, smiling spectators munched on guilty delights as the parade passed by. Her mind drifted back to the last town procession she’d attended in Sweet Pine—the Christmas festival ten years ago. That fateful day when her mother... Quickly, she returned her mind to the people outside the window, trying not to avoid the sadness that blanketed her when her mother crossed her mind.

  Soon the threesome were back at work making sure every inch of the lodge had been scrubbed, painted, or repaired, with the exception of her mom’s office. A room that she’d not yet found the courage to tackle. The plumbing had been replaced by James and passed inspection. Mark Foster, the electrician, had finished his work yesterday. Once the inspection was done and approved, Ashley felt strongly the time had come to think about redecorating—something her father was not keen on. Of course, this was assuming he’d reopen the lodge for the upcoming holiday season. Or was he just getting it ready to sell? Christmas, her mother, the lodge…they were all subjects she still could not muster up the courage to discuss with her dad. The memories were still too painful for them both. If only she could compile a list of everything she wanted answers on and hand it to her dad and wait for his written reply. Then maybe they both could move on and become the family they should’ve always been.

  Finally at home once again, James wandered into the kitchen, clearly tired from the day’s work. For the first time, he seemed older, fragile, more approachable.

  “Cy left earlier today. I think he may have a date,” Ashley said as she set the table.

  “I swear that boy is always thinking about girls. But, I guess that is normal for someone his age. What about you, Ashley? Anyone you are interested in?”

  “Nah. It’s not like there is a bubbling social life here.”

  “Now, I am sorry about that. You two have been working non-stop for the last month and not out having fun like kids your ages should. I know I’ve been preoccupied with getting the lodge in shape to reopen and—”

  “So you are going to reopen the lodge,” Ashley interrupted, feeling as if she’d struck gold as she removed the lasagna from the stove.

  “Yes, that’s my plan. It’s way overdue.”

  Ashley set pan on the table. “Dinner’s ready.”

  The thirty-seven year old Malone approached the table and took his seat. “It smells wonderful, baby girl.”

  A smile inched across her mouth. She’d not been called baby girl by her dad since she’d left home. After placing some lasagna on her plate, along with the garlic bread and salad, Ashley wondered if this was the moment to mention going through her parent’s bedroom. The warm feeling she sensed from her dad made her address the issue. “Do you think I need to clean out Mom’s office as well as your and mom’s room now? I mean…I only ask since you are planning to open up the lodge again.”

  “Would you mind going through your mother’s things? I never could get up the strength to sleep there, much less clean it. I know I should have done it years ago.”

  “I don’t mind, Dad. I would welcome the opportunity, actually, to see if there’s anything I would like to have.”

  “Of course. Whatever you want of your mother’s is yours.”

  “I’ll get started in the morning.”

  She witnessed the sadness on her dad’s face. This was the first time the two had any type of connection in a long time. Still, she hated to see her dad distressed.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ashley sat holding her mother’s thoughts in her hands. She gently rubbed a layer of dirt and dust from the outer cover, revealing a burgundy cover. It was all or nothing. Once she started reading, there wouldn’t be any turning back—good or bad.

  December 1st—Ashley and I went shopping yesterday, where I spotted this journal. When my little girl saw the tree on the cover, she called it the Christmas Book. So I guess I will call you my Christmas Journal.

  “What? I was with mother when she purchased this notebook?” Ashley flipped the cover and studied the book. She tried hard to remember the moment she and mother had been shopping, but unfortunately, nothing surfaced in her mind.

  Returning to the diary, she continued to read. My thought was that I could jot down my feelings, especially since James and I are not on the best of terms right now. But, I know if I will just be patient, he will eventually see everything my way. I know he is worried about how this is going to affect Ashley, but kids are resilient. Speaking of my darling daughter, it’s time to go pick her up at school. So I will depart now and say goodbye.

  “What is she talking about? What were she and dad at odds about?” Ashley’s cellphone rang, causing her to jump and her heart to flutter. Ignoring the call, she composed herself and resumed reading her mother’s diary.

  December 2nd—James still refuses to discuss Adam. I’m really at my wit’s end with him. He knows how important this is to me. I can’t see his reasoning behind his arguments. I know Adam is in God’s plan for us. I’ve ask him to talk with the pastor, but being so stubborn, he refuses. I’m just tired from the fighting now. Anyway
, it’s time to start dinner. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

  “Ashley, where are you?” yelled her father.

  Quickly, she closed the diary and hid it under the mattress. “I’m in here,” she replied.

  The doorknob turned, and James guardedly walked in. “Hi” was all he was able to say. His eyes studied the room, glancing around at the four walls. He wavered a bit, and grasping for a wall, recovered his balance. With a swift leap, Ashley grabbed her dad, helping to steady him.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I just got dizzy, but I’m okay now.”

  “You have been working too hard. I think we all could use a day off.”

  “Maybe you’re right. A day off would do us all good.”

  Ashley helped him down the stairs to the living room. He slid into the large, leather recliner. Ashley retrieved some water for him and sat down on the couch.

  “Is old Dr. Stevens still practicing?”

  “I believe so. Why?”

  “I think we need to make an appointment. You should let him check you out.”

  “Nonsense. I’m fine.”

  “But Dad—”

  “No. There’s nothing wrong with me that a little rest won’t solve.”

  She knew there was no point in pursuing the discussion. James Malone was a very stubborn man. When he said no, there was usually no one that could change his mind, except maybe her mother.

  The door slammed and Cy walked into the room. “Hi. Anyone ready for some food? I say we call it a day and—”

  “What? Anxious to drive into town to see your girlfriend again?” Ashley knew she’d no business snapping at him, but with her nerves on edge, she found the words out of her mouth before she could stop them.