Business Network International: BNI.com
Coaches, Trainers, and Consultants LinkedIn group: linkedin.com/groups/2980318
ConnectorsClub: linkedin.com/groups/1053417
GirlFriend Circles: GirlFriendCircles.com
Information Technology Senior Management Forum: ITSMFonline.org
Ivy: Ivy.com
Network Under 40: NetworkUnder40.com
Society for Information Management: Simnet.org
Young Entrepreneur Council: YEC.co
Notes
1. Connections Are Critical to Success
1Nikki Waller, “How Men & Women See the Workplace Differently.” Wall Street Journal (September 27, 2016): http://graphics.wsj.com/how-men-and-women-see-the-workplace-differently/.
2Peter Economy, “This Person’s Help Will Make You 5 Times More Likely to Get Promoted,” Inc. (November 13, 2017): www.inc.com/peter-economy/this-persons-help-will-make-you-five-times-more-likely-to-get-promoted.html.
3 Lou Adler, “New Survey Reveals 85% of All Jobs Are Filled via Networking,” LinkedIn (February 29, 2016): https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/new-survey-reveals-85-all-jobs-filled-via-networking-lou-adler/.
4Lydia Dishman, “How You’ll Search for a Job in 2017,” Fast Company (January 10, 2017): https://www.fastcompany.com/3066700/how-youll-search-for-a-job-in-2017.
5Valentina Zarya, “Female Founders Got 2% of Venture Capital Dollars in 2017,” Fortune (January 31, 2018): http://fortune.com/2018/01/31/female-founders-venture-capital-2017/.
6Grace Miller, “38 Referral Marketing Statistics That Will Make You Want to Start a RAF Program Tomorrow,” Annex Cloud (March 3, 2016): https://www.annexcloud.com/blog/39-referral-marketing-statistics-that-will-make-you-want-to-start-a-raf-program-tomorrow/.
7Ivan Misner, “What Percentage of Your Business Do You Get from Referrals?” IvanMisner.com blog post (August 18, 2008): http://ivanmisner.com/what-percentage-of-your-business-do-you-get-from-referrals/.
8Harvey Deutschendorf, “Why Emotionally Intelligent People Are More Successful,” Fast Company (June 22, 2015): https://www.fastcompany.com/3047455/why-emotionally-intelligent-people-are-more-successful.
9Zameena Mejia, “Harvard’s Longest Study of Adult Life Reveals How You Can Be Happier and More Successful,” CNBC (October 31, 2017): https://www.cnbc.com/2017/10/31/this-harvard-study-reveals-how-you-can-be-happier-and-more-successful.html.
10J. Holt-Lunstad, T.F. Robles, and D.A. Sbarra, “Advancing Social Connection as a Public Health Priority in the United States,” The American Psychologist 72, no. 6 (2017): 517–530. doi:10.1037/amp0000103.
11Emma M. Seppälä, “Connect to Thrive,” Psychology Today (August 26, 2012): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201208/connect-thrive.
12Christine M. Riordan, “We All Need Friends at Work,” Harvard Business Review (July 3, 2013): https://hbr.org/2013/07/we-all-need-friends-at-work.
13Gallup, “State of the American Workplace,” Gallup.com (February 2017): http://news.gallup.com/reports/178514/state-american-workplace.aspx.
14Drake Baer, “Harvard Professor Finds that Innovative Ideas Spread Like the Flu; Here’s How to Catch Them,” Fast Company (January 17, 2013): https://www.fastcompany.com/3004829/harvard-professor-finds-innovative-ideas-spread-flu-heres-how-catch-them.
15Towers Perrin, “Working Today: Understanding What Drives Employee Engagement,” Retrieved from http://www.keepem.com/doc_files/Towers_Perrin_Talent_2003%28TheFinal%29.pdf.
16Robbie Kellman Baxter, “How to Seize the Membership Economy Opportunity to 5x Your Company,” Subscription Growth Podcast (September 12, 2017): http://robertskrob.com/seize-membership-economy-opportunity-5x-company/.
17Daniel McCarthy and Peter Fader, “Subscription Businesses Are Booming. Here’s How to Value Them,” Harvard Business Review (December 19, 2017): https://hbr.org/2017/12/subscription-businesses-are-booming-heres-how-to-value-them.
18Peter Schmidt, “A Major Barrier to Alumni Giving: Graduates’ Mistrust,” The Chronicle of Higher Education (November 6, 2015): https://www .chronicle.com/article/A-Major-Barrier-to-Alumni/234100.
19Bright Local, “Local Consumer Review Survey,” (2017): https://www.brightlocal.com/learn/local-consumer-review-survey/.
20Grace Miller, “38 Referral Marketing Statistics that Will Make You Want to Start a RAF Program Tomorrow.”
21Amy Edmondson, “Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams,” Administrative Science Quarterly 44, no. 2 (June 1999): 350.
22Bruce Temkin and Aimee Lucas, “Employee Engagement Benchmark Study, 2017,” Temkin Group Insight Report (March 2017): http://www.temkingroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/1703 _EEBenchmarkStudy17_FINAL.pdf.
3. What Level Connector Are You?
1Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (Boston: Little, Brown, 2000), 38.
2Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point, 46.
4. Connectors Are Open and Accepting
1Scott Hays, “American Express Taps Into the Power of Emotional Intelligence,” Workforce.com (July 1, 1999): http://www.workforce.com/1999/07/01/american-express-taps-into-the-power-of-emotional-intelligence/.
2The Johari Window was first published in the Proceedings of the Western Training Laboratory in Group Development by UCLA Extension Office in 1955. Available here: http://www.mbdi.com/workshoprefmaterials/Johari_Window.pdf.
3Art Markman, “Do You Know What You Don’t Know?” Harvard Business Review (May 3, 2012): https://hbr.org/2012/05/discover-what-you-need-to-know.
4Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil, “The Misunderstood Limits of Folk Science: An Illusion of Explanatory Depth,” Cognitive Science 26, no. 5 (2002): 521–562. doi:10.1207/s15516709cog2605_1.
5The Ladder of Inference was first put forward by organizational psychologist Chris Argyris and used by Peter Senge in The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning Organization (New York: Doubleday, 1990).
6. Connectors Believe in Abundance
1Jacob Morgan, “The Top 10 Factors for On-the-Job Employee Happiness,” Forbes (December 15, 2014): https://www.forbes.com/sites/jacobmorgan/2014/12/15/the-top-10-factors-for-on-the-job-employee-happiness/#33ea87715afa; and Rainer Stack, Carsten von der Linden, Mike Booker, and Andrea Strohmayr, “Decoding Global Talent,” The Boston Consulting Group (October 6, 2014): https://www.bcg.com/en-us/publications/2014/people-organization-human-resources-decoding-global-talent.aspx.
2The Redbooth Team, “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend, But When Do You Actually Get Work Done?” Redbooth.com blog (November 15, 2017): https://redbooth.com/blog/your-most-productive-time.
8. Connectors Are Social and Curious
1Carol Dweck, “What Having a ‘Growth Mindset’ Actually Means,” Harvard Business Review (January 13, 2016): https://hbr.org/2016/01/what-having-a-growth-mindset-actually-means.
9. Connectors Are Conscientious
1M. Brent Donnellan, Rand D. Conger, and Chalandra M. Bryant, “The Big Five and Enduring Marriages,” Journal of Research in Personality 38, no. 5 (October 2004): 481–504. Retrieved via Marelisa Fabrega, “19 Ways to Be More Conscientious,” Daring to Live Fully: https://daringtolivefully.com /how-to-be-more-conscientious.
10. Connectors Have a Generous Spirit
1JoshPalerLin, “How Does a Homeless Man Spend $100?” YouTube.com video (December 22, 2014): https://youtu.be/AUBTAdI7zuY.
2Michelle Tillis Lederman, “#365LivingGiving,” YouTube.com video (May 4, 2015): https://youtu.be/7P0HLt3N-50.
11. LinkedIn and Technology Tools
1“CTC (Coaches, Trainers, & Consultants) Connections,” LinkedIn group: www.linkedin.com/groups/2980318.
2“ConnectorsClub,” LinkedIn group: www.linkedin.com/groups/1053417.
3 CareerBuilder, “Number of Employers U
sing Social Media to Screen Candidates at All-Time High, Finds Latest CareerBuilder Study,” CareerBuilding press release (June 15, 2017): http://press.careerbuilder.com/2017-06-15-Number-of-Employers-Using-Social-Media-to-Screen-Candidates-at-All-Time-High-Finds-Latest-CareerBuilder-Study.
12. Diversify Your Connections and Stay Connected
1Niraj Chokshi, “Out of the Office: More People Are Working Remotely, Survey Finds,” New York Times (February 15, 2017): https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/15/us/remote-workers-work-from-home.html; and Gallup, “State of the American Workplace.”
2 Alison Reynolds and David Lewis, “Teams Solve Problems Faster When They’re More Cognitively Diverse,” Harvard Business Review (March 30, 2017): https://hbr.org/2017/03/teams-solve-problems-faster-when-theyre-more-cognitively-diverse.
3Kristen Pressner, “Are You Biased? I Am,” TEDx Talks YouTube.com video (August 30, 2016): https://youtu.be/Bq_xYSOZrgU.
Index
abundance: abundant thinking, 82; as Connector character trait, 206; mindset, 84–95; vs. scarcity, 82
acceptance: as Connector character trait, 206; self-acceptance, 55–56
Amazon: and customer relationship, 15; reviews on, 192
American Express, and employee intelligence training, 50
Argyris, Chris, 59–60, 64
asking, pressure-free, 74–76
authenticity: and building relationships, 180; and likability, 24–25, 34, 47–48, 63; as pillar of trust, 102–103, 109
Authoress (online community), 117–18, 120, 125, 179
Band, Zvi, 177
Baxter, Robbie Kellman, 15
Berger, Lauren, 116
Best, Charles, 18
Block, Peter, 14
Blockbuster vs. Netflix, 15
Boston Consulting Group (employee satisfaction survey), 86
boundaries: and balance, 153–54, 158; strategies for setting, 140–43, 145
Brigham Young University (loneliness study), 13
Brosseau, Denise, 118
Brown, Dennis, 170
Brustein, Darrah, 116, 152, 193
Buffer (platform), 174
business relationships, 22
Carbary, James, 125, 126
Camahort Page, Elisa, 153
character traits of Connectors, 36; abundance, 97; accepting and open, 158; clear vision, 78; conscientious, 144; curious and social, 131; diversified, 203; generous, 158; trusting, 109
Clark, Dorie, 94
clear vision, as Connector character trait, 206
Columbia University, 17, 130
communication: and WIIFT (“What’s in it for them?”), 76, 79, 125, 139; strategies for effective, 113, 138, 145, 150, 195
communication skills: body language, 30–31, 52, 113–14, 200; listening, 28–29, 49–51, 120–21; smiling, 113; talking, 70–71
Connectors, defined, 36–38
Connectors, summary of character traits, 206
Connectors, types of: Acting, Emerging, and Responsive Connectors, 40–43, 44; Niche Connectors, 39–40; Non-Connectors, 36–38, 42–44, 49, 66, 104, 133, 144; Super Connectors, 38–39, 41, 43–44, 49, 195, 197
consistency, as pillar of trust, 26, 102–103
content creation, 95
Corcoran, John, 190
curiosity: and building relationships, 27–28, 124–25; as Connector character trait, 206
customer relationship management (CRM) tools, 177–78
DeVries, Henry, 127
diversifying your network, 201–202
Donors Choose, 17
Dweck, Carol, 129
Edmondson, Amy, 18
emotional intelligence (EI): defined, 49; levels of, 50, 63
energy: authentic energy and building relationships, 24, 27
Facebook, 171, 175–76, 181, 187
“Fake It ’til You Make It Real,” 25–26
fear, acknowledging, 83
feedback, asking for, 50–52, 100
first impressions, and likability, 26, 138, 145, 167
Foland, Ryan, 138
follow-up: and building trust, 133, 145; strategies for, 124, 136–37, 140
Gallup (report), 13
generosity, as Connector character trait, 206
Gerber, Scott, 116
gift-giving, strategic, 127
Gladwell, Malcolm, 20, 37
goal setting, and SMARTER goals: defined, 67–69, 78, 135
Goldsmith, Marshall, 135, 148, 153
Google: Google groups, 118; and team building, 18
Gorham, Eric, 119
Granger, Sarah, 117, 179
group settings, strategies for, 113
Harbinger, Jordan, 83
Harvard Business Review: diversity study, 190; and knowledge gaps,58; subscription industry study, 16
Harvard University (longevity study), 13
Hassell, David, 39, 195
Holt-Lunstad, Julianne, 13
Hootsuite (platform), 174
Horie, Ari, 12
how to say no, 140–43, 145
influence and influencers, strategies for connecting with, 190–92
Ingham, Harrington, 51–52, 64
Instagram (social media), 175, 176
introductions, how to make, 150–51
Johari Window (Luft and Ingham), 51–52, 64
Johnson, Lindsay, 55
JP Morgan Chase (investment banker), 70, 118
Kahneman, Daniel, 12
Kleinert, Jared, 39, 193, 195
Kronos Technologies, and customer relationship, 19
Ladder of Inference (Argyris), 59–60, 64
Lamoreaux, Kristen, 9, 118
LeanIn.org (gender equity study), 11
likability, laws of: authenticity, 24–25; curiosity, 27–28; energy, 27; familiarity, 31; giving, 32; listening, 28–29; mood memory, 30–31; patience, 32–33; perception, 25–26; self-image, 25; similarity, 29–30
LinkedIn, 9–10, 73, 76, 125–26, 175, 182; Coaches, Trainers, and Consultants LinkedIn group, 169; ConnectorsClub (Carrera), 169; and customer relationship, 15; and job search, 11; LION (LinkedIn Open Networkers), 163; strategies for using, 125–26, 161–74, 188, 192, 195
listening: active, 28, 138, 145; and building relationships, 29, 120; and distractions, 29; strategies for effective, 28–29, 120–21
Littlefield, Chad, 14
LoVerde, Mary, 72
Luft, Joseph, 51–52, 64
management roles, and gender, 10–11
management techniques: allowing others to shine, 85; giving credit, 86
Masters, Jaime, 121
McKinsey & Company (gender equity study), 11
meeting strategies, connection before content, 14–15; face-to-face, 13, 93, 114, 186–87
Meric, Beri, 116, 193
Meyers, April, 40
millennials, and mobility, 193
Mindset Mission exercises: for activating curiosity, 129; for increasing self-trust, 101–102; for investing time, 93–94; for meetings, 14–15; for self-acceptance, 55–56; for taking action toward a goal, 69; for testing biases, 201; for workplace culture, 19–20
mindsets of a Connector: belief in abundance, 97; clear vision, 78; conscientious, 144; generous in spirit, 158; growth, 129; open and accepting, 158; social and curious, 131; trust, 109
mirroring, 30
Misner, Ivan, 118, 123, 174, 192
mood memory, 30–31, 34, 61, 123, 139
name tags, strategies for using, 123
National Speakers Association, 117, 199
Nelson, Shasta, 116
Netflix, 17, 194; vs. Blockbuster, 15
networking: diversity and, 185–86; introverts and, 113; philanthropy and, 119; purpose
of, 155; strategies for, 94–96
Nextdoor (online community), 117
Niche Connectors, 39–40
Nielsen (ratings), 12
no: strategies for saying no, 140–43, 145
notes, handwritten, 188, 193
O’Meara, Rachael, 129
openness, as Connector character trait, 206
Paugh, Ryan, 116
perceptions: and beliefs, 58–60; changing, 26; law of, 25–26; and reality, 25
philanthropy, 119
Pinterest (social media), 175, 177
PitchBook (gender equity study), 12
Pollard, Matthew, 120, 123
positive: associations and likability, 29, 31, 156; energy, 27; intentions, 60–61, 148, 158; self-talk, 25
Pressner, Kristen, 94, 140, 162, 201
prioritizing relationships, 94–95
questions: in conversation, 52; open-ended, 15, 28, 196; for self-evaluation, 57–60; strategies for asking, 14–15
relationships: and happiness, 3, 13–14; and productivity, 18–19; types of, 209–208
RoAne, Susan, 122
Rodskog, Rebecca Friese, 18, 177
Ross, Maria, 125, 172
Rotten Tomatoes (referral site), 12
Ruhlin, John, 127
Samuels, Robbie, 197
saying no: and boundary setting, 153–54; strategies for, 140–43, 145
saying yes, strategies for, 140–43, 145
scarcity, as way of thinking, 81–82
self-awareness: and personal bias, 201; and self-acceptance, 63
self-talk, converting negative to positive, 25
Send Out Cards, 193
similarities, finding to build connections, 29–30, 33, 198–99
Skype (chat), 93, 163, 181, 187, 203
SMARTER goals: defined, 67–69, 78; planning, 135
Snapchat (social media), 175–77
social media: and job search, 11–12, 175, 180–81; posts and what to share, 180–81
Society for Information Management (Simnet.org), 118, 127
The Connector’s Advantage Page 21