Crib Notes

by Holly Jacobs

  Two contractions later, Ariel started pushing. The next forty minutes were a blur. Eli might not have been the one giving birth, but when the doctor held a baby aloft and cried, “It’s a girl,” she felt as exhausted and elated as Ariel.

  “You have a daughter, Ariel,” she whispered as she brushed the girl’s sweat-sopped hair off her forehead.

  “A girl,” Ariel murmured as the nurse covered the baby up and handed her to Ariel. “Isn’t she the most beautiful thing ever, Ms. Cartwright?”

  “She is, Ariel. She is.”

  Ariel held the baby close and without looking up from her daughter asked, “Do you think you’d call Charlie and tell him. I mean, I’m not asking him to come over, or anything, but he should know he has a daughter.”

  “I’ll go call him.”

  “And my mom? I mean, I know she hung up on me, but…”

  But. Eli could read so much in that one word. But Ariel was hoping her mother would have a change of heart and come—that her mother loved her enough to be there now when she needed her.

  “I’ll call them both. I’ll tell Tucker and Mr. Keller, too.”

  Ariel didn’t look up from her daughter. “Do you think they want to meet her?”

  “I think they’d love it, if you’re up to it?”

  “Just give us twenty minutes or so, okay?” the doctor asked. “We can have everyone cleaned up and comfortable by then.”

  “I’ll be back in twenty,” Eli promised, then she leaned down and did what Ariel’s mom should have been there to do. She kissed Ariel’s forehead. “Congratulations, hon. You did great.”

  She wanted to tell Ariel that as of this moment everything had changed. That being a mother was going to alter her views, but there was time enough for that later.

  In the hallway, she telephoned Charlie Markowski. She’d gotten all Ariel’s contact numbers weeks earlier and was glad of it.

  Eli had to leave a message on Charlie’s voice mail, and that was fine with her because all Eli could think of was Ariel crying for her mother, her aunt…and for Charlie. She was afraid her feelings would shine through if they had a conversation. Voice mail was easier.

  Next, she called Ariel’s aunt, and again got voice mail. This time, she wished she’d actually spoken to Deirdre, who must still be in the air.

  Finally, she called Ariel’s mom.

  “Mrs. Mayor, this is Ariel’s teacher, Eli Cartwright. I’m at the hospital. She has a baby girl and—”

  There was a click on the other end as Ariel’s mother disconnected.

  Eli had seen parents write off their daughters before, and she couldn’t understand it. “No matter what happens to you, I’ll always be here for you,” she whispered to her baby, who was currently turning somersaults from the way it was kicking.

  She hurried down the hall.

  “It’s a girl,” she announced to Zac and Tucker in the waiting room.

  “Come, sit down for a minute,” Zac said. “This couch isn’t exactly plush, but you look as if you need a break.”

  “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Exhausting, but amazing. Let me tell you, I’m pretty sure that prepared me for childbirth better than any class film.”

  She sank back, closed her eyes and sighed.

  ZAC SMILED AT TUCKER as they both realized that Eli wasn’t merely resting her eyes, she was dozing.

  He watched her as she slept. Her hands were folded on her stomach. He was startled when they moved, as if Eli had the hiccups. It took him a second to realize it was the baby.

  The baby had hiccups.

  It was a person in its own right. Soon, they’d be back at the hospital and Eli would be the one cradling her new baby.

  Hers and Arthur’s.

  He frowned.

  “What’s that for?” Tucker asked.

  He’d forgotten she was still there.

  “Just thinking.”

  “Thinking not exactly good thoughts.”

  He shrugged. “When Eli has the baby, where will I fit in?”

  “I’m guessing this is about Arthur,” Tucker said with a frown that Zac wasn’t sure he could read. Either she was frowning at the mention of Arthur’s name, or she was frowning about his concerns about Eli’s ex.

  “Listen, Zac—”

  Whatever Tucker wanted him to listen to would have to wait as the nurse came in and said, “Ariel and the baby are waiting for you all. Don’t stay too long, okay? They both need some rest.”

  Eli jumped awake and rubbed her eyes, looking slightly disoriented.

  “Ariel’s ready,” Zac repeated.

  “Let’s go.” She led them down the hall, then turned and asked, “How long was I asleep?”

  “Not long,” Zac assured her.

  “You snored,” Tucker teased. “Loud.”

  Eli didn’t look as if she really believed Tucker, but Zac could see the small thread of doubt. “Did I?”

  “No,” he answered. She looked relieved. He added, “Well, not that loud, anyway.”

  She looked chagrined, then caught his smile. “Nice, you guys. Just pick on the tired pregnant woman.”

  She stopped in front of Ariel’s door and knocked softly.

  “Come in.”

  They walked in and Ariel looked content, as she sat cradling her baby.

  She beckoned them closer. “Isn’t she perfect?”

  It was no hardship to admit she was. Ariel’s daughter had a thatch of blond hair that was so pale it was almost white. She had a round face and brilliant blue eyes.

  “She’s beautiful, Ariel,” Zac said as Eli cooed over the baby.

  Tucker made a noise of affirmation, and though she didn’t coo, she appeared decidedly mushy as she looked at the baby.

  Ariel held her out to Eli. “Would you like to hold her?”

  Eli took the baby as Ariel said, “I’m going to name her Elinore Charlotte Mayor and call her Nora.”

  “Oh,” Eli said, and started to cry. With a loud sniff, she spluttered, “Ariel, thank you, that’s such an honor.” And she pulled the blanket back and gently touched the baby’s cheek.

  Something in Zac melted at the sight of her cradling the newborn. The baby rested on her own baby bump.

  Little Nora yawned, and Eli laughed. “Look at her, Zac. Isn’t she lovely? I can’t believe that soon I’ll be holding my baby.”

  Zac reached out and touched the baby’s downy hair. “She’s going to turn all the boys’ heads in school, Ariel.”

  “And you know, as much as I chafed at my parents’ restrictions, I can suddenly understand them better,” Ariel admitted. There was a wistfulness in her voice, and Zac wished there was something he could do for her. He and Eli could support Ariel, but they weren’t her parents. And he knew Ariel was hurt by their unwillingness to forgive her.

  After cooing and cuddling the baby, Eli passed little Nora to Tucker, who despite her avowals in the waiting room, didn’t show even the slightest baby bias.

  “Zac?” Tucker held the baby toward him.

  Not knowing what else to do, he took the baby. He’d never held one this small—Cessy had been a few weeks old when she’d come home, and a lot more filled out than Nora was. But as he peered down at her, he was amazed at how perfectly every feature was arranged. She yawned again, and opened her bright blue eyes and he would have testified in a court of law that she looked at him. Directly at him.

  It was that easy—Zac felt connected to this littlest bit of humanity. “Ariel, you take as long as you need off from work, and you let me know—me, not the store—if you need anything, because our little Nora will never want for anything. I promise you that.”

  He couldn’t make up for the people who’d deserted her, but he could help wherever she needed him to.

  He was still holding Nora and planning a trip to the store tomorrow to buy out the baby supplies section, when the door opened and a gangly boy walked in. “Ariel, I…
”

  The kid stopped as if he didn’t know what else to say and even without an introduction, Zac knew this was Nora’s father.

  “Can I hold her?” the boy asked Ariel.

  Zac looked to Ariel, unsure what she wanted him to do. She didn’t say anything, but nodded at him.

  He walked over to Zac. “I’m Charlie. Charlie Markowski.”

  “Zac Keller. Ariel’s boss and friend.” Zac wanted to hold Nora close and protect her. And as he handed Nora over to Charlie, he felt what amounted to a knife in the heart knowing there was a very real possibility that one day he’d have to do it all over again. He’d have to hand Eli’s baby over to Arthur.

  And as he stood there, Zac watched as Charlie Markowski fell in love with his daughter.

  It was that simple. He’d handed the baby to a boy who, as he held his daughter, turned into a man. The look on Charlie’s face said he’d do anything for this baby. And when Charlie glanced up at Ariel, Zac could see that Charlie loved her as well.

  Whether it was a love that could overcome all the obstacles they were facing, he wasn’t sure. But it was real. And as Charlie walked over to Ariel, and together they gazed at their daughter, that love was a tangible presence in the room.

  What if Arthur, who’d spent Eli’s pregnancy bouncing back and forth, held his child, fell in love and finally decided he wanted to be a father? What if he convinced Eli to take him back, and to make them a family?

  Zac had thought nothing would ever be harder than losing Cessy, but as he looked at the boy, so absolutely in love with a baby he’d spent nine months denying, Zac knew the truth of it. If Arthur came back and took Eli and the baby from him, there wouldn’t just be a hole in his heart.

  His heart would break.

  Zac wasn’t sure he’d survive it.

  “Ariel, we’re going to go and let you and Charlie bond with your baby,” Eli said. “You call me if you need anything.”

  “I will. Thanks, Ms. Cartwright. Eli. Thanks for everything.”

  “You’re welcome, honey.” Eli leaned down and kissed Ariel’s forehead again.

  They all started to walk out of the room but stopped as Ariel called, “Ms. Cartwright. You talked to my parents, right?”

  Eli took Zac’s hand before she spoke. “I’m sorry, Ariel, but—”

  “No, it’s okay, Ms. Cartwright. I didn’t expect it to make a difference.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow morning.”

  “She didn’t expect it to make a difference, but she hoped,” Tucker said when they’d safely shut the door. “I’d like to kick their asses.”

  “Got to admit, me, too,” Eli said. “But Charlie came. Did you see his face as he looked at Nora? I hope he’ll stay involved, even if Ariel and Charlie don’t make it as a couple. Babies deserve to know their father.”

  Zac knew she didn’t mean to, but Eli’s words hurt. She looked so tired that he didn’t have the heart to say anything.

  “Eli, are you riding home with me, or…” Tucker paused.

  Before Eli could ask to ride with him, Zac said, “I’m going straight into work today, then I’m heading home to sleep, so if you don’t mind riding with Tucker?”

  “Sure, that’s fine.” Eli looked confused. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” But he wasn’t. Wasn’t at all. The image of Ariel, Charlie and Nora was giving way to one of Eli, Arthur and their baby. Zac tried to shut it out, tried to tell himself he was being foolish, and yet, he couldn’t kill his doubts.

  “I’ll talk to you later,” he promised and stalked away.

  This was his problem. Not Eli’s. His.

  And one way or another, he’d fix it.

  He just wasn’t sure how.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “The last weeks of a pregnancy are emotional for all moms-to-be, not just teens. There’s no way to ignore the fact the baby you carry is a separate and individual person. It moves, it sleeps…it even gets hiccups. The baby is becoming more real by the day, and while that is exciting, you’re about to leave behind the life you knew and step into an unknown future.”

  —Crib Notes: Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting for Teens, by Mary Jeanne Lorei

  IT WAS MID-MAY and spring had finally arrived in Western Pennsylvania. After a long winter, it was good to see the sun, to see the landscape green, and it was especially lovely to be able to go out without a coat on every day.

  The without-a-coat part was especially nice for Eli since she hadn’t been able to button hers since sometime in April.

  Tonight was the last childbirth class.

  Somehow that made the fact the baby would arrive in mere weeks seem more real.

  Eli said goodbye to their classmates and took one of her pillows. Zac took the other one and followed her out of the classroom. When they reached the hospital parking lot and got in the car, Zac turned on the radio. They listened to one country song after another on the drive back to Whedon.

  The music was loud enough that conversation was all but impossible. And while Eli enjoyed country music, she enjoyed talking to Zac more. The fact that things had been off between them was becoming more and more apparent with each passing day.

  They stopped at O’Brien’s for their usual after-childbirth class dinner.

  “You’re very quiet,” she said once they’d ordered. Even the thought of eating O’Brien’s cheese soup, her current pregnancy craving, couldn’t shake her sense of foreboding.

  “Just one of those nights.” With no subtlety whatsoever, he changed the subject. “How’s Ariel?”

  “She’s doing great. And so’s little Nora. Ariel’s eligible to have a tutor until the end of the year. She’s planning on attending her graduation ceremony. Every year moves quickly, but this year…?” Her hand rested on her giant stomach. “Maybe it’s that I’m pregnant. It just feels surreal that the baby will be here soon. My mom’s about ready to burst with excitement.”

  Her parents had arrived home the week after Ariel delivered, and her mother had tried to make up for lost time and lost shopping by personally buying out every baby store within a twenty-mile radius. “Did I tell you that Mom’s already embroidered this gorgeous sampler for the baby’s room? She’s just waiting to fill in the name.”

  “That’s great,” Zac said.

  Eli could pinpoint exactly when things had changed. The night Ariel gave birth. What she couldn’t pinpoint was what had happened. All she knew was there was a distance between her and Zac.

  “Hey, talk to me. Things aren’t right, and I don’t know why, but…I love you. You made me believe you loved me, too, but lately, I’m not so sure,” she tried to explain.

  That got his attention. He reached across the table and took her hand. “Eli, you can doubt many things. Frequently lately, I’ve doubted my own intelligence, but never doubt I love you. I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried, and I love the baby. But I—”

  “Elinore?” a voice interrupted.

  She didn’t need to turn to see who was there. To the best of her knowledge, Arthur Stone had never ventured into O’Brien’s restaurant. But tonight, he was here.

  Of course.

  Arthur seemed to have developed a knack for interrupting her life at the most inopportune times.

  She tried to think kind thoughts, to feel bad for Arthur and his upset plans, but all she could manage tonight was irritation. She was tired of making excuses for him. Ariel had been right when she said it was just too bad Arthur Stone’s life was thrown into chaos with the news of this baby. Eli’s had been, too, but she’d managed.

  And here he was again, getting between her and Zac.

  “Arthur.” Her voice sounded colder than she’d meant it to.

  He visibly flinched. And Eli couldn’t help but notice he looked older. When they’d dated, she’d never really thought of the age difference between them. Now he seemed aged and tired.

  She looked at Zac and realized
she hadn’t given a thought to their age difference in a long time. What had seemed like such a big obstacle didn’t matter at all to her now.

  “How are you?” Arthur asked.

  “I’m fine.” When he didn’t ask, she added, “So is the baby.” Two times Arthur had stood her up for appointments.

  “Could we possibly meet sometime next week?” he asked.

  “About?” she countered, although she didn’t need to. She could almost write Arthur’s script. He missed her, and maybe he’d try again to get involved with the baby.

  As she stared at him, she knew she didn’t want him to try again. She just wanted him gone. She felt guilty, but tried to remind herself what she always told her students: You can’t help the way you feel, but you can help the way you act.

  “I really need to talk to you. In private.” He glanced at Zac, his meaning clear.

  She sighed. Arthur’s indecisiveness might be driving her crazy, but she saw Zac and knew it was hurting him. She remembered his pain-filled story about Cessy and no longer wondered why he was distant. Of course. He was worried about this…loving the baby and losing it to Arthur. She didn’t know how to ease that worry.

  She wanted to tell Arthur to get out and leave her and the baby alone. They had Zac. They didn’t need Arthur.

  But she didn’t.

  Couldn’t.

  As much as she’d love to.

  “Fine. We can talk. But I’ll tell you what I’ve been telling you all these months. You have two choices. Be a part of the baby’s life, or not. There’s no longer any choice when it comes to us. Ever.”

  Arthur didn’t respond, but simply said, “I’ll call you, then,” and left.

  Eli loved living in a small town, but at this moment, she’d give anything to be in a big city, where bumping into people just didn’t happen like this.

  She studied Zac, and knew he was thinking about the baby, about Cessy, about Arthur.

  She knew he had to be because she was. “Zac, this is killing you, isn’t it?”

  “I won’t lie. It is. But that night, after I’d told you about Cessy and we made love, I swore I’d be here for you and the baby. I’m in this. And I understand that you’re connected to Arthur. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”