The Zee Brothers Vol.1 & 2 Box Set [Zombie Exterminators]

by Grivante

  JJ pulled her hand back. “I can walk away by myself.”

  “JJ, don’t be like—”

  “Like what? Rejected? You said you didn’t want me!”

  The two shapes emerged from the house; an elderly couple dressed in blood-splattered nightgowns, probably the patriarch and matriarch of the Tucker family. They turned instantly toward the arguing voices of JJ and Jonah.

  “I didn’t say I didn’t want you.” Jonah glanced over his shoulder at Judas, who stood staring down at Mr. Carlisle at his feet. Mr. Carlisle had his eyes closed and his hands raised before him in a steeple.

  “Yes, you did.” She turned her head away, her hair snapping over her face.

  “JJ look,” he stopped, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to face him.

  She tugged her arm, but his grip was firm and he held her fast.

  “Judas is crazy about you. I can see it in him, and I don’t want him to get hurt. I said I wouldn’t pursue you, that I’d let him—”

  “What about you, Jonah? How do you feel?” She looked into his eyes, searching. “And what about me, Jonah? What about how I feel?”

  Jonah’s mouth opened, words not forming the way he’d have liked them to. Finally, he sputtered. “I like you, it’s just Juda—”

  “Guys,” Judas shouted. They glanced up and saw him pointing past them. The elderly couple was almost on them and another one, a young dead child, still in its pajamas, was coming out the door next.

  JJ used the moment to slip out of Jonah’s grip and turned to face the body of the old farmer as it approached. “How about you?” she taunted. “Do you like me?”

  The zombie growled as it approached, mouth gnashing at the air.

  “I thought so,” she said and stepped away in the opposite direction.

  Jonah did the same, leading the elderly female a safe distance away. They put them to rest with quick shots and Jonah walked over to Judas. He pointed to the young pajama-wearing zombie that had followed the elderly couple out. “Go take care of that one Judas, I’ll help Mr. Carlisle here.”

  Judas looked at the boy and then at Mr. Carlisle, whose labored breathing signaled the end was soon, and he didn’t know which option was worse. “Ok, bro,” he said shaking his head. “Sometimes this job isn’t a lot of fun.”

  “No, it’s not.” Jonah shook his head, lifted Brutus to Mr. Carlisle’s temple and pulled the trigger.

  From there, the trio took turns leading the dead from the house. They came in a steady stream for a few minutes, but never more than could be handled. Mr. Carlisle’s family and ranch hands were the last to emerge, having taken a while to turn.

  Aside from the taunts to lead the dead in a given direction, they said nothing to one another.

  Finally, when a few minutes had passed and no more of the farming dead emerged, JJ asked. “What now?”

  “We need to go sweep the house. Make sure that’s the last of them and then go investigate the source. Everyone reload,” Jonah said.

  Part XIX - Pots & Pans

  Inside, the farmhouse looked more like a slaughterhouse. Blood and carnage reigned. Half eaten appendages lay on the floor next to pools of green and red blood. A few partially devoured corpses that couldn't move their bodies, swung their arms around, trying to grab at the fresh meat they saw in Jonah, Judas, and JJ.

  The group made quick work of the dead they found remaining until they came to a closed door off the kitchen. Inside they could hear multiple forms banging about.

  “How many you think are in there, Jonah?” Judas asked.

  “I can’t tell. Sounds like a couple at least.”

  “How do you want to handle this?”

  Jonah looked around the large white kitchen. There was a small table with two chairs and little else. “You two grab those chairs, be ready to use them to hold them back if there’s more than I can handle.”

  A loud frustrated sounding groan came from behind the door. Jonah wrapped his left hand around the doorknob and held Brutus high. He waited as Judas and JJ picked up the wooden chairs and lifted them so that the legs pointed out before them.

  “I feel like a lion tamer,” Judas joked.

  JJ laughed, which made Judas smile.

  Jonah felt a knot in his stomach and bit on his lip, turning away before either of them could see his discomfort. He took a deep breath, turned back and mouthed, “Ready?”

  They both nodded, looking more relaxed than they had for the last hour.

  Jonah let out the breath, twisted the knob and opened the door.

  Behind it, he discovered an overloaded pantry, heavy with the scent of aged goods stored too long. A single light bulb, mounted in the ceiling, lit the small room and cast shadows. The shelves teetered with large cans of food, boxes, and ancient dust covered canning jars that looked as if they'd been there since before the Great Depression.

  On the ground was a single zombie, its focus intent on a box on the floor in a back corner, under the bottom shelf. It growled and strained, its arm reaching to get at whatever was inside the box. The box sat behind a few large, heavy bags of flour and sugar.

  “Hey, meat sack,” Jonah called out.

  The zombie snapped its head around. It had been a middle aged man, a large chunk of its neck was missing. Seeing something more easily accessible than whatever it had been trying to get at, it turned and stood.

  “How many are there, Jonah?” Judas asked.

  “Just one,” Jonah said, stepping back from the opening. There was another door off the kitchen which led outside. Jonah opened it and turned back to the pantry. “C’mon now, follow me.” He waved his arms around and kept the zombie from noticing his brother and JJ.

  The zombie followed Jonah.

  JJ looked at Judas who, like her, still held her chair at the ready. A loud clang of metal on metal from the pantry made them both jump. They stared at each other with wide eyes. Surely, Jonah hadn’t missed one?

  Judas stepped in front of the door and peered in. The floor was clear, there was nothing to see, then the clank of metal on metal sounded again.

  “What is it?” JJ whispered from behind him.

  “I don’t know. There’s something back in the corner.” He fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a flashlight, clicking it on.

  “Another zombie?”

  “No,” Judas glanced back at her as they heard the distant blast of Brutus. “This is something else. Maybe someone hiding.”

  He moved in closer, ready to find out what it was, but jumped when JJ touched his arm.

  “Sorry,” she said, moving in closer. “I didn’t want you to be alone. What if this is where it started?” Her voice shook at the last bit.

  Judas shook his head. “No, we learned from Mr. Carlisle when we first got here that it started out in the pasture. This,” he gulped, “is something different.”

  JJ’s fingers tightened around his sleeve as they inched closer.

  Judas hadn’t been scared before, but something about JJ’s presence, the way she clung to his arm for protection and then the clang of metal on metal, set the little hairs on the back of his neck tingling. Something definitely moved below. He cast the light into the corner, reached down and tugged one of the heavy flour sacks out of the way.

  A large and old cardboard box sat on the tiled pantry floor, crammed under the shelf. He pulled it out. The back corner was crushed and a large hole opened where it caused the flaps to separate. A lone eye stared out at them.

  Judas rested on his knees and turned to look at JJ as she knelt beside him. They heard the sound of Jonah’s boots entering the kitchen.

  “Open it,” JJ whispered.

  Judas put the flashlight in his mouth and reached out with his free hands to pull the flaps of the box open.

  “Ooh!” JJ let out a soft gasp as the cardboard peeled back.

  “Mew?”

  Inside the box, two over-weight kittens, one gray and black scrunched low at the bottom of a large pot, the other
, gray and white sat in a shallow pan.

  JJ burst into giggles. “Oh my gosh. They’re so big, I bet they say moo instead of meow” She reached in, scooped them up and held them against her chest. They purred and licked at her cheeks. She beamed at Judas. “My hero!” she said and kissed his cheek, which instantly turned red and warm.

  He pulled the flashlight from his mouth and said, “Jonah saved them. I only opened the box.”

  She stood, cradling the cats in her arms, and turned to see Jonah standing in the doorway watching. His face was expressionless. She walked up to him and held up the kittens. “Jonah, meet Pots and Pans. Sometimes we don’t choose our families. They choose us.” She raised up on her toes and kissed his unmoving lips. “I choose the two of you.” She glanced back at Judas. “We’re just gonna have to figure it out.” She stepped past Jonah and strode outside with the kittens.

  Part XX - Toxic Relationships

  “This is what caused the outbreak?” JJ asked, reaching back and tightening the strap on her gas mask.

  Jonah nodded. “Yeah, from what Mr. Carlisle said, one of the Tuckers’ accidentally uncovered this tank on his property, ruptured it and...” he motioned to the dead cows.

  “But where’d it come from?” she asked.

  Jonah looked at Judas, who stood a little ways away with Xanadu. “Corporations have been known to illegally dump their problems before. Remember Erin Brockovich?”

  “What kind of company would put a toxic, zombie creating poison out here?”

  Jonah stepped down the hill, moving closer. The tank, with its rust spots and worn paint, appeared to have been underground for several years. The dirt caked on it had been partially washed away by the rain. On the far side, he found what he was looking for. A symbol he suspected would be there but had rather hoped wasn’t.

  Two letter N’s, intertwined and wrapped in a circle. He nodded at Judas and pointed at it. Judas’s gas mask bobbed in acknowledgment, then side to side in disgust.

  “What is it?” JJ asked, looking between them. “What’s going on?”

  Jonah walked up from the remains of the storage tank and lifted his mask. “It’s owned by the company we used to work for.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s how we got our start as zombie exterminators. We used to work for this scientist, sh—”

  “Dr. Nitsau,” Judas blurted out. “The Nitsau Corporation. They performed experiments on different zombie causing agents. We did security, body guarding and clean-up.”

  JJ’s face scrunched up. “The Nitsau Corporation? Wasn’t that the one whose CEO went missing a few years back?”

  “Yeah,” Judas shot a wide-eyed glance at Jonah. “That’s the one.”

  “What was a pharmaceutical company doing researching zombies?”

  Jonah & Judas both turned to look at the tank, neither willing to answer the question.

  Free Bonus Story - Pests B' Gone

  Part I - Training Day

  “Now, I’m telling ya,” Burt pointed into the crawlspace, “mice can kill a man. Well, mouse crap can kill you, if you breathe it in. No, I’m not talking about doing a line of it either, I mean just breathing it in when you're working in tight spaces like that. Mr. Lancome really wants me to show you how to do this job right. He’s had a lot of trouble with his last few employees. Keeps having to fire ‘em.”

  Aside from the bathroom light above them, there was little to no illumination below. Jonah could only see a broken wooden mousetrap and the telltale black football-shaped droppings of mice.

  “Now,” Burt continued. “Pests B’ Gone’s regulations state you must always wear proper res-pear-atory protection. You can either wear one of them paper masks they put in with your shirts, or do like I do and,” he held a small translucent candy between his teeth and continued to talk. “Ya kin keep one uh tees,” he sucked it back in, “menthol cough drops in your mouth, and breathe in that instead. It’s the smell that gets you, after all.”

  Jonah and Judas shared a glance.

  “I don’t think that’s how it works,” Judas said.

  Burt cocked his head away from the hole to look at Judas. “It’ll also keep your nose from itching when you’re spraying the poisons. Now, let’s get down there. Turn your lights on!”

  The brothers shook their heads and each put on the small paper masks the company had provided.

  “It’s a job.” Jonah shrugged.

  Jonah dropped through the hole after Burt but didn’t move out of the way in time to allow room for Judas. “Ow!” he shouted as his brother stepped directly on top of him. “Dammit Judas, wait a moment!”

  “Sorry,” Judas pulled himself back out of the hole and waited until Jonah was completely out of sight.

  In the dark space underneath the home of Mr. & Mrs. Olson, their lights bounced from corner to corner, inspecting the space. Burt pointed to a spot where water pooled atop the black plastic ground barrier.

  “See there, we’ll need to set traps all around that. There’s a drip coming from the pipe above. Judas, take your bag of traps over dere.” Burt shifted the cough drop in his mouth and took a deep breath.

  “Ok, Burt,” Judas said and crawled toward the water.

  “Now, Jonah,” Burt continued, “crawl around the perimeter and look for places where the plastic is loose, or where there are piles of mouse dung. That’s gonna be where they’ve got their burrows. Find the opening and set traps around it. Just be caref—”

  “Ahh!” A cry came from Judas, and both Jonah and Burt turned their heads and lights in his direction.

  “What is it, Judas?” Jonah called out.

  Their lights showed Judas on his side, one of his arms appearing to disappear into the ground.

  He sat up, pulling his arm free. “The ground gave way, and I fell into some kinda hole. The earth just crumbled when I put my hand there.” He lifted his mask and spat a black stream of tobacco into the hole.

  “You okay?” Jonah asked.

  “Yeah, just scared me a little.”

  Burt spoke up. “That’s what I was trying to tell ya. Be careful of spots where the ground has been hollowed out by their tunnels. It’ll collapse right out from under you. Usually not too deep, but enough to give you quite a start.”

  “You’re telling me,” Judas said as he continued his way to the pool of water.

  A few minutes later, their traps set, they met by the crawlspace opening.

  “So that’s it?” Jonah asked.

  “Yep, we return in a week and do a check. Replace any traps that have caught something and keep going.”

  “This seems pretty easy,” Judas said. “And almost better than flipping burgers.”

  “It’s a dirty job and sometimes kinda gross, but every home’s got some sort of pest that needs dealing with. There’s always plenty of work for us exterminators.”

  They climbed out of the crawlspace and back into the tiny bathroom. Burt was the last one out, leaving the small wooden hatch wide open.

  “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been asked to exterminate?” Judas asked him as he stepped out into the hallway.

  “Oh, heh-heh,” Burt laughed and scratched the whiskers on his chin. “I’ve seen some truly crazy stuff. A basement full of badgers, a fallout shelter that had flooded and was full of fish. That was mostly catch and release stuff though. Return them to the wild. Had a hot tub once with over a dozen frogs living in it.”

  Judas laughed. “Think we’ll see anything that crazy?”

  “There’s no telling what the next call will bring in. Speaking of, let’s load up and get to the next job.”

  Jonah spied the open crawlspace door and pointed. “Should we close that?”

  Burt glanced back. “Oh yeah! Good idea. I’m always forgetting that and homeowners hate it. The last thing you want is a mouse getting out and scaring the lady of the house!” He turned back and shut it.

  “Is there anything we don’t exterminate?” Judas asked.<
br />
  “Oh yeah,” Burt nodded, his cheeks flushing. “Vampires, zombies, pretty much anything that’s already supposed to be dead and uh… I was once asked by an upset wife if I’d exterminate her cheating husband. Definitely a no-no.”

  “Really?” Judas asked.

  “Yeah.” Burt led them down the hall to the front door. “She was furious. She'd found hundreds of messages on his computer and stuff.”

  “What’d you tell her?”

  “Told her no. We don’t deal with that kind of problem. She asked me who did and, while I’ve got many cards in my wallet for other kinds of exterminators, I don’t have any for hitmen. Then she asked me if I would sell her some rat poison.” Burt shook his head.

  “Whoa!” Jonah exclaimed. “She was seriously pissed.”

  They walked out to Burt’s small truck.

  Judas, biting his lip and scrunching his face, peered at Jonah, then asked Burt, “So did you?”

  Burt stopped, pinching the cough drop in his teeth and stared at Judas. “Did I sell her some rat poison? No, I suggested she call a lawyer.” He shook his head.

  Judas lowered his own and muttered. “Sorry, I was only curious.”

  Jonah walked up beside him and smacked him upside the back of his skull.

  “Ow!”

  “I did help her out though,” Burt said as he opened his door. “I told her to mix saltpeter in with his breakfast. It’s a mineral that cause's a man to have trouble getting an erection. Kinda hard to cheat if you can’t get it up.”

  Both Judas and Jonah laughed at this.

  “I thought that was just an urban legend,” Jonah said.

  “I don’t know, but a few weeks later, I received a $200 tip in the mail from her.”

  The brothers’ week of training for Pests B’ Gone continued as they shadowed Burt, learning the ins and outs of pest control. After a couple of weeks, they were given their own trucks and they worked separately and occasionally together on larger jobs.

  Their last job for Pests B’ Gone was one of these group jobs.