He's Not My Boyfriend

by Jackie Lau

  She tried to push her family out of her mind and think about tomorrow. She’d never dreaded a conversation with her boss so much, but it was the right thing to do. If she didn’t tell him the truth, she’d feel like she didn’t have any integrity. What exactly should she say?

  Her mind turned to Alex. What was he doing right now? Was he at the gym, building his muscles? Why was she suddenly experiencing a desperate urge to lick his abs?

  God, she was such a mess.

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, Iris knocked on the door to Scott’s office.

  “Come in,” he said.

  She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. Lowry Engineering was too small to have a human resources department, so she had to go to her boss.

  “I have to talk to you about something,” she said, taking a seat. “It’ll only take five minutes, I promise.”

  He pushed aside the drawings on his desk. “What is it?”

  The air-conditioning in the office was on full blast, but she was sweating.

  “The East Markham Hospital project,” she said. “I... I have developed a personal relationship of sorts with the site supervisor, and I know this is a conflict of interest.”

  Scott put his elbows on his desk and leaned forward. “Did he harass you? Did he...force himself on you?”

  “Oh, God, no. Nothing like that. Anything that happened was consenting.” Her cheeks burned. “I am so, so sorry. I don’t believe it affected my work at all, but I had to tell you.”

  His face betrayed no emotion. “Has this been an issue with any other projects you’ve worked on?”

  Iris shook her head vigorously. “No, and I promise it won’t happen again.”

  She felt like crying. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten herself into this situation, couldn’t believe she’d behaved so foolishly.

  She never should have said yes when Alex invited her out for coffee.

  “Alright,” Scott said. “I think it’s best that I reassign the East Markham site visits to Chris. I won’t tell him the reason.”

  “Thank you.” Iris twisted her hands together and waited for him to get angry. Was Scott thinking about how this probably wouldn’t have happened if he’d hired a male engineer?

  But his expression remained impassive.

  “You can go now,” he said at last.

  She drew her eyebrows together, a bit confused by his response. He’d simply accepted it, hadn’t even said he was disappointed in her.

  She wouldn’t question it, though. She left his office and headed back to her desk, where she started organizing the papers strewn about the large surface.

  “Is everything okay?” Emma asked. “You just talked to Scott, and now you’re cleaning your desk.”

  Iris managed a small smile. “I’m fine.”

  Emma stood up. “Come on. Let’s take a five-minute break.” She pulled Iris outside, and they sat at the picnic table at the back of their office building, where no one else would hear them. “Tell me what’s up. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

  Iris knew she could trust Emma. She just hated to think of her mentor losing respect for her, but the words tumbled out of her mouth anyway.

  “The site supervisor on the East Markham project. Alex Kwong. You met him, right?”

  Emma nodded.

  “We were sleeping together. Actually, it was more than that. I even took him to meet my grandmother. And you’re not supposed to be too friendly with the general contractor because you need to be able to take them to task when something isn’t going right. I’m sure I could have done my work effectively, and I doubt Alex would say anything to anyone else at work, but if it came out, it would look awful. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t happening and wait for everything to blow up.” Iris blew out a breath. “Now I feel like I’ve disappointed every female engineer. Like this reflects badly on all of us.”

  “You told me you had a one-night stand before you met on site,” Emma said, “but more happened after that?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you still seeing each other?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Emma’s eyebrows shot up. “I doubt you would have allowed this to happen unless there was something... Well, I hate to use the word ‘special,’ but that’s what comes to mind. Something special between you two.”

  Iris snorted. “You’re making it sound like we’re in love, but we’re not. I lack professionalism, that’s all.”

  “You told your boss, even though I’m sure that was an awkward conversation. I don’t think most people would have been so forthcoming.” Emma paused. “Alex isn’t married, is he?”

  “No. I never would have done it if he had been.”

  “What did Scott say?”

  “Not much. He just said he’d put Chris on the project.” Iris put her head in her hands. “How could I have been so stupid?”

  “You’re human,” Emma said. “I know sometimes it feels like women aren’t allowed to be human, like we have to be absolutely perfect to garner as much respect as a barely-competent man, but we are human. You do good work, Iris, and Scott is a reasonable person. It’ll be okay. We all screw up sometimes.”

  Iris didn’t like Emma saying that she’d screwed up; it pained her to hear someone else speak of her relationship with Alex that way, even if she herself considered it a mistake. A woman would be lucky to have Alex as a boyfriend.

  A woman who had any interest in relationships, that was.

  * * *

  It was two o’clock on Tuesday afternoon, and Alex was at the trailer, expecting Iris to show up any minute. She usually came right when she said she would, as though she was never affected by traffic delays. Strangely, however, she’d told her plans to the project manager this time, rather than texting Alex.

  Fifteen minutes later, he was about to send Iris a message when an unfamiliar car pulled into the parking lot. A young man stepped out. He put on his safety vest, hardhat, and work boots before heading over to the trailer.

  “Hi,” he said, extending a hand. “I’m Chris. I’ll be taking over from Iris.”

  “What happened to Iris?” Alex asked.

  Chris shrugged. “Not sure. I think she’s really busy with another project, so the boss asked me to do this for her.”

  Alex stared at Chris. Why hadn’t Iris told him this was happening? He’d just seen her on Saturday. Or maybe it had happened yesterday or today, but still. Why hadn’t she texted him?

  What was going on?

  * * *

  Alex called Iris immediately after Chris left. She answered on the first ring.

  “Why didn’t you come to site today?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  Yeah, right. “Do you want to tell me what’s happening?”

  “I can’t work on this project anymore. Because of you. I told my boss about us. Don’t worry, I didn’t say much, but I had to explain my conflict of interest.”

  “I don’t understand. Why can’t you work on this project?” It wasn’t like Alex was her boss.

  She sighed. “I’m the engineer on the project. I have to make sure everything is done correctly. If there are any problems, and it comes out that we were sleeping together...” She sighed again. “This is for the best.”

  “Shit,” he muttered. She was right, but it had never occurred to him. However... “Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t find out until Chris showed up on site.”

  That, more than anything, told him there was something wrong between them.

  “I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” Iris said, and her words nearly knocked the wind out of him. “This has screwed up my life enough as it is.”

  “You’re off the project now,” he protested when he found his voice. “The damage has already been done.”

  “I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “Explain.”

  “We’re essentially in a relationship, and I never wanted a r
elationship with anyone. I always wanted to keep my freedom and independence. When I realized the conflict of interest problems, that knocked some sense back into my head. Relationships just cause trouble.”

  On one hand, he understood. He’d thought that way before, too.

  But his mother had told him that one day he’d meet the woman who would change his mind about relationships and marriage.

  Some people never wanted those things, and that was fine, but Alex wasn’t one of them. And Iris was the woman who’d changed his mind.

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, too stunned by the realization.

  “Come over after work,” he said, his voice rough. “We need to talk.”

  * * *

  Iris drove straight to Alex’s apartment after work and parked on the street in front of his building. She took a few deep breaths after turning off the ignition, her hands still gripping the wheel.

  He’d asked her to come over, and she hadn’t protested. She felt like she owed him this. They’d been close enough that an in-person ending to their relationship was in order.

  How the hell had she found herself in this situation?

  She got out of the car. Just a quick conversation, and then she’d head home. This would be the last time she saw Alex.

  The thought was a punch to her gut.

  He’d become an important part of her life in the past few weeks. She didn’t want to think about what life would be like without frantic make-out sessions against his front door, lazy mornings cuddled up in bed, burnt scrambled eggs.

  She pushed those thoughts aside and marched to his door, head held high.

  Her resolve faltered as soon as she saw Alex, his expression serious, his eyes practically burning holes through her. He closed the door behind her, and without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her body against him, his kisses wet and searing.

  She could tell him to stop, but she didn’t, because God, it felt so good to be in his arms, to revel in how physical things could be between them.

  But it wasn’t just a physical relationship. It was more than that.

  “You can’t tell me you never want to do that again,” he growled, his lips a hair’s breadth from hers.

  “There are other men out there. It’ll be simpler with them. I don’t need you.”

  It felt like a lie, but she didn’t take it back.

  “Fuck, Iris. It wouldn’t be like that with anyone else.”

  “You’re really full of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “You’re scared,” he said. “You think you’re tough. Strong. And you are, but you’re also really fucking scared, just because you woke up in my bed the past two Saturdays. That’s too much for you.”

  “What the hell happened to you? The night we met, you just wanted to use me to forget.”

  He trapped her between his arms, against the door, and God help her, it thrilled her, the pressure of his hard body against hers.

  “You happened,” he said simply.

  Her emotions warred inside her. A part of her couldn’t help but be pleased she’d captured this man’s attention and affection.

  But dammit. She didn’t want this.

  Why not? a small voice inside her asked.

  And then he kissed her again. He kissed her thoroughly, his hands moving all over her body, showing her that no, it really couldn’t be like this with anyone else.

  Iris had been with many men. She had lots to compare him to.

  “You’re right,” she whispered. “It’s different with you.”

  It had been different since the beginning, if she was honest with herself, but even more so now that they really knew each other. The conversations they’d shared, the comfort they’d offered each other—it mattered. She’d resisted when Emma said he was special, but it was true, much as she loathed to admit it. Alex had snuck in past her defenses somehow; this never would have happened with anyone else.

  How could she give this up when it brought her so much pleasure? It was impossible.

  There was nothing to do but surrender.

  He hurriedly unbuttoned her pants and slipped his fingers inside her.

  “Alex,” she murmured.

  He was on his knees now. He pushed down her pants and underwear and began licking between her legs, running his tongue along her slit, circling her clit.

  She thrust her hands into his hair and held him against her as he pleasured her with his mouth. God, he felt so good.

  He looked up at her for a moment, his lips glistening with her moisture, and it was so fucking hot. Then he dove between her legs again, giving her exactly what she needed to climax and cry out his name.

  Afterward, she slid to the floor, her legs feeling like jelly. He sat beside her.

  “You never let a man take care of you, Iris,” he murmured, his lips sliding up her neck. “But I’m going to take care of you now.”

  Gently, he pulled off her pants and underwear and socks, and then he unbuttoned her short-sleeve blouse, kissing her bare skin as it was revealed to him an inch at a time. Her bra was last, followed by his mouth on her breasts. He sucked her nipples, swirled his tongue around them.

  She almost melted into the floor.

  He scooped her up in his arms and took her to the bedroom. He laid her down on her back, and then he undressed in front of her. Her breath shuddered as more and more of his gorgeous body came into view.

  She was used to exploring new bodies when she had sex, but she’d been with Alex several times now, had run her hands all over him. Knew exactly how he reacted when she scraped her fingernails over his back and trailed her hand down his abs to his cock.

  She knew him.

  And she liked that.

  He crawled across the bed until he was on top of her. He kissed her again as his hand slipped between her legs, sliding through her moisture, touching her folds.

  “You drive me crazy,” he said.

  “So do you,” she whispered. “So do you.”

  She could hear the wonder in her voice. How had she gotten to this point with him?

  But it didn’t matter, not now, because he was touching her and it was bliss.

  He watched her face as he stroked her, and she reached between his legs and wrapped her hand around his cock, needing to feel what she did to him. He hissed out a breath. She knew she couldn’t touch him for long or he’d come in her hand. Someday, but not now. She needed to feel the pressure of him inside her.

  She released her grasp as he slid down her body and licked between her legs again, making her spiral up and up, and then come crashing down in the most marvelous of ways.

  She was soft and malleable afterward, and he rolled her onto her stomach and adjusted her so she was on all fours. As he opened the condom packet, she trembled, eager to feel everything he could give her.

  He pushed his sheathed cock inside her from behind, ever so slowly, and started to move within her.

  She’d never thought of this as a terribly romantic sex position. More like something you did when you wanted it rough and dirty, which was often what she wanted.

  But today, with Alex, it was different.

  She was consumed by him, and she reveled in it.

  Her legs were weak and her knees slid back until she was lying on her stomach, her hips tilted up to allow him entry to her body. He lay on top of her, his chest against her back, and she turned her head to the side so he could kiss her as he moved—deep, satisfying strokes—inside her.

  “You’re mine,” he said, his mouth at her ear.

  “Yes,” she said in a daze. “Yes.”

  “I can give you everything you desire.”

  “Yes.”

  “You do need me.”

  “Yes.”

  “I need you, too,” he admitted, his lips sliding down to kiss her neck.

  He thrust into her harder, and she gasped. He did it again. And again. And then she was crying out, trembling in his arms for a third time, feeling like s
he was utterly under his spell.

  He rolled her onto her back and pushed into her again. He rocked his hips against her as he looked down at her, beads of sweat on his forehead.

  When he came inside her, he growled, and she could feel the echo of it in her chest.

  She smiled at the pleasure she could give him. It didn’t matter what she’d done for other men in the past; all that mattered was that she could please Alex.

  He went to the washroom and when he came back a minute later, he lay next to her in bed and ran his hand over her chest, her breasts, her stomach. It wasn’t a desperate touch like it had been before. Rather, a gentle, exploring touch.

  “You make me feel like I’m alive again,” he said.

  “Hate to break it to you, but you’ve been alive this whole time. You’re not a zombie.”

  He playfully bit her shoulder, but his words were serious. “I felt like I’d separated myself from the world. It was necessary, when my mom was very sick and just after she died. I had to keep myself functional, be the person everyone could depend on. But now, with you, I can let myself feel things I couldn’t feel before, and it’s okay, because you’re here with me.”

  “You’re awful mushy.”

  “It’s your fault.”

  Dimly, she recalled that this wasn’t what she’d intended when she’d driven to his apartment after work. She hadn’t shown up at the construction site today; she wasn’t going to work on the project again because of her conflict of interest. She’d intended to simply have a quick chat with him and then be on her way.

  However, she was weak where Alex was concerned.

  Maybe it was okay to be with him. They didn’t have to make any serious decisions about their future now; they could simply see where this took them.

  He pressed kisses down her spine, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this boneless and relaxed. Everything was changing, but it was okay because he was here with her.

  She sighed. “I should go home.”

  “Stay. We’ll eat wontons again.”

  “Ngin Ngin is expecting me for dinner.” Though Iris did desperately want to stay with Alex. “You can come, too. She likes you. There’s always lots of food in the house. We’ll make it work.”