For Their Child's Sake

by Jules Bennett

  She adjusted her covers and slid beneath them. Her foot brushed against the coarse hair on his leg. She stilled; her breath caught. Once upon a time such a simple gesture would lead to more touching. Now she didn’t know what to think or even how to react.

  “I’m sorry you cringe when you touch me.”

  Tara’s heart sank. “I never want you to think that touching you bothers me. But I haven’t had a man’s touch in a year and you’re so familiar, but...”

  She hadn’t meant to let that revelation out. Not that she had been looking and not that she was interested in any other man. Sam had been it for her and she wasn’t sure she wanted to do love again. Besides, they were still married and she would never go against her vows.

  “I’ve missed your touch, too,” Sam whispered in the dark.

  Silence settled between them. Beneath the covers his hand found hers and he slowly laced their fingers together. She closed her eyes and bit her lips, trying not to cry or tell him she’d ached for him.

  “Good night, Tara.”

  Tears pricked her eyes at the simple gesture of his hand in hers. She had seen the hunger in his eyes earlier, she knew that he still wanted her, but he was using restraint and putting her needs first.

  The problem was she had no clue what her own needs actually were. Because the female side of her wanted to forget everything and let him do anything he wanted, but the realistic side told her this was not possible and she was in for a long night.

  Chapter Eight

  “What the hell is that?”

  Tara laughed at Kate’s expression. “Well, that is our new dog, Daisy.”

  Kate sat her purse on the accent table inside the front door. She reached her hand out to the curious dog who had come over to sniff her.

  “I’m pretty sure this is not the Daisy I remember,” Kate exclaimed as she got multiple kisses from the new giant Daisy. “Are you guys seriously trying to pass this dog off as her old poodle?”

  “No, this is Daisy Part Two.” Tara led the way toward the rear of the house and into the kitchen. “And this is all Sam’s idea. He really is trying, but some things are not working as well as others.”

  “And how is this working out with you and Sam?” Kate asked as she took a seat at the kitchen table.

  Tara leaned against the countertop and gave a shrug. “We are taking it day by day, but as you can imagine this is difficult for everybody.”

  “Has Marley regained any memories?” Kate asked.

  “Just that we were all supposed to go on a beach vacation, but that was planned right before Sam left. Unfortunately, that’s the time frame where things get a little hazy with her memory.”

  Tara had already started looking for beach houses on the East Coast. She’d found several right on the beach, but most were either already rented or too pricey. She and Sam would have to discuss options. She didn’t know what would be worse, the hours-long car ride with Sam or frolicking on the beach playing as a family.

  “Wow,” Kate gasped. “So you guys are going to take a real family vacation? Even with everything going on?”

  Tara nodded and went to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. She handed one to her friend and took another for herself. She needed a distraction. The more she discussed this inevitable vacation, the more her nerves kicked into overdrive.

  “That is what Marley wants,” Tara stated. “We are doing anything we can to help her regain her memory. She’s been home a few days and so far all she’s recalled is that the original Daisy died. I’d like to get some sort of happy memories in her bank.”

  Kate rested one hand on her belly and clutched her water bottle with the other. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “I don’t even know what I can do to help.” Being so confused and vulnerable was most infuriating. She wanted her daughter healed right this second. “I don’t know what we’re going to do when she regains her memories and realizes that Sam and I have split up. I’m so afraid she’ll hate us for lying or she’ll feel deceived, like she can’t trust her own parents.”

  Kate offered a sympathetic smile. “She will see that her mom and dad came together to help her. She loves you both, so don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  Tara prayed that her daughter would feel that way once all was said and done, and she regained control of her mind. Tara wasn’t so sure a five-year-old could fully comprehend the sacrifices made by her parents.

  “So, are you really keeping the massive dog?” Kate asked as Daisy came up beside her and took a seat.

  Tara laughed and shook her head. “At this point, I don’t have a choice. I’m outnumbered when it comes to the new Daisy. The slobber kind of grows on you, in a weird sort of way.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” Kate stated as she patted Daisy’s head. “Gray and I decided on baby names. Do you want to hear them?”

  “Of course I do,” Tara exclaimed. “It is killing me that I don’t know if it is a boy or a girl. I guess I’ll buy things for each and take back what you can’t use. My credit card is so ready for a baby shopping spree.”

  Kate laughed and patted Tara’s arm. “Calm down. We don’t want our little one spoiled right off the bat.”

  “Fine.” Tara pouted. “But I’m still going to spoil Baby Gallagher a little.”

  “Considering we’re living over the bar, it’s not like we’re decorating the nursery pink or blue,” Kate explained.

  “Babies never know what their room looks like. Too many people get caught up in stuff that isn’t important.” Tara crossed to the kitchen table and took a seat. “The most important thing is love and security, and you and Gray will provide both. And the toys and fashionable clothes I’ll provide.”

  Kate rolled her eyes and winced as her hand clutched the side of her belly.

  “What is it?” Tara asked.

  “Just Braxton Hicks,” Kate hissed. “Damn things have been attacking out of nowhere.”

  Tara patted Kate’s knee. “I remember those. You only have about six weeks left. Everything will be worth it once you’re holding your little bundle.”

  “That’s what I hear, but I could do without these,” Kate complained. “Sorry, I’m grouchy when I get a false contraction.”

  “Understandable. Nobody wants them until it’s showtime,” Tara joked.

  Kate let out a long sigh and smiled. “There. It passed. So, where is Marley? I was hoping I would get to see her.”

  “Sam took her to visit his mother.” There wasn’t much else she could say and still be nice about the situation regarding her soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law. “We thought it was better that way instead of her coming to visit here.”

  “I don’t understand that woman,” Kate commented as Daisy rested her head on Kate’s lap.

  The sweet dog was apparently so happy to be free from the shelter, she loved on everyone. How could Tara say anything about drool puddles?

  “Well, first she thought we married too fast,” Tara explained, as if she could sum up her mother-in-law in only a few sentences. “She figured I was after a baby-daddy. Then, when I asked Sam to leave, she thought I was turning him away when he needed someone most.”

  Turning him away had been the toughest decision of her life. She’d heard the term tough love before, but she’d never had to implement it. Even now, she had layers of guilt recalling how ugly their words had been, how nasty their actions had gotten. Broken glass was nothing compared to shattered hearts.

  Thankfully they’d kept Marley sheltered from the brunt of their falling out. Separating parents was never easy on a child, but they’d done all they could.

  Well, Tara had done more because Sam had checked himself into rehab. But Tara had simply explained that Daddy was sick and had to go away to get better.

  “Turning him away was the only way he was going to get the help he needed
,” Kate reminded her. “He still loves you, you know.”

  Tara chewed the inside of her lip to keep from admitting or denying any such thing. “We were married. I’m sure he still feels something for me.”

  No need to express he’d said as much two nights ago while he’d been holding her hand in bed.

  Holding her hand. Like they hadn’t made love in that exact spot, like he hadn’t held her night after night in that very room. He’d simply held her hand and that simple touch had unlocked something in her heart that no kiss could have done.

  There was a tenderness about Sam that reminded her of the man she’d married. But did that man even exist anymore? Every part of her wanted to believe so. But that was also a dangerous way of thinking.

  “Sam stopped by the bar the other day.”

  Tara shifted her focus to Kate. “Is that right?”

  She knew Sam always hung at the bar, mostly to visit Gray, and Gray would keep his eye on Sam. Over the past year, Gray had been a huge help in keeping Sam on the right path. Gray had been big brother, best friend, counselor...whatever Sam had needed.

  Tara had kept her eye on him from a distance, praying and hoping he’d find his way. They’d kept their conversations cordial during drop off and pickup with the custody agreement. Sam had worked his ass off to crawl to the point he was at today and she was so proud of how far he’d come.

  “He was there to see Gray, but he got me, instead,” Kate stated with a smile and a shrug. “He’s carrying quite a bit of emotion around.”

  Tara nodded, torn over how much to divulge, even to Kate. Everyone was invested in Sam and his recovery journey, but at the same time, Tara didn’t want to say too much because her friends, Sam and even her own heart could take her words the wrong way.

  The last thing she could afford was anyone thinking there was some happily-ever-after at the end of this. She knew her friends wanted the best for both her and Sam, but not everyone was meant for a happily-ever-after.

  “He’s carrying quite a bit,” Tara agreed with a slow nod. “He told me he took indefinite time off to be with Marley and me. I worry with this new job that maybe he should go in so he doesn’t lose it.”

  “He’d do anything for you guys. There’s no job that compares to his family.”

  That familiar prick of burn to her eyes and clogged throat had Tara coming to her feet and crossing to the door. “Well,” she said as she cleared her throat. “Tell me those baby names.”

  Kate slid her hand over Daisy’s head and stroked her ears. “Obviously you and Sam are off the topic table, so I’ll give in and tell you.”

  Tara opened the screen door and waved her hand. “Come on, Daisy. Let’s go.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to send her out on my account,” Kate declared.

  Daisy galloped out the door, nearly knocking Tara over in the process. The poor thing had a tendency toward the clumsy side.

  “She hadn’t been out in a while and she needs to run around the fenced-in yard to work off some energy...and to dispose of that slobber outside.” Tara took a seat at the table. “Now, tell me the names. Wait, did you already tell Lucy?”

  Kate shook her head. “Not yet, so don’t say anything.”

  Tara patted the table. “Out with it.”

  “Well, if we have a boy, we’re naming him Liam Gray Gallagher to carry on with Gray’s Irish heritage, and if we have a girl, we’re naming her Fallon Katherine Gallagher.”

  Well, there went those tears she’d been trying to keep under control. “Those are beautiful. I can’t believe we’re going to have a little one in less than two months.”

  “Might as well be forever,” Kate said on an exasperated sigh. “I feel like my skin cannot possibly stretch any more.”

  “Oh, it can and it will.” Tara laughed.

  Kate cringed. “Don’t tell me that. I’m in denial and I know that my waist will never be the same.”

  “You’ll bounce right back,” Tara assured her. “But no matter what you look like, having a baby is life changing and the most rewarding, stressful, important job ever. It’s seriously all emotions wrapped into one little being that you created.”

  Kate smiled and rubbed her belly. “I can’t wait. Gray has spurts of overprotectiveness, which can be sweet but annoying and then he relaxes. But then he reads something else online and worries again, so the cycle starts all over.”

  Tara had a pang of longing. She’d been alone when she’d been expecting Marley. Her jerk of an ex had abandoned her at the mere mention of pregnancy and she hadn’t met Sam until Marley was around two. She couldn’t help but wonder what Sam would’ve been like as an expectant father. Definitely attentive, most likely overbearing and hovering.

  “What’s that smile?” Kate asked.

  Tara blinked away the mental image and shook her head. “Just thinking of you and Gray as parents. You’re going to be amazing.”

  Daisy barked outside as car doors slammed. Marley stormed in the back door and ran through the house and up the stairs. The resounding slam of her bedroom door echoed into the kitchen.

  Kate glanced to Tara. “What happened?”

  Sam stepped in the door and Tara came to her feet. “Sam?”

  “She had a memory.”

  Chapter Nine

  “You never should have brought that damn dog here.”

  Tara paced across the living room. Sam merely stood at the base of the steps, his arm over the banister, and remained quiet.

  Couldn’t he say something? Anything? She wasn’t sure if she was gearing up for a fight to get out her frustrations or if she wanted him to agree with her. Mercy, she was a mess. She didn’t even recognize herself lately.

  Sam’s silence grated on her very last nerve. How could he be so calm when Marley was upstairs crying over the memory of losing her dog? Well, she’d already had that memory, but now she recalled how her beloved pet had passed and had relived the moment all over again.

  Precisely what Tara had feared would happen all along...and not just with Marley’s pet. All of this was going to get worse before it got better. When Marley regained all of her thoughts, she would learn they had been lying to her.

  “I brought the dog to help our daughter heal,” Sam said in that calm voice of his. He’d always been so in control...until that point when he wasn’t. “I know it was a rash decision, but at the time I would’ve done anything to see her smile.”

  Tara stopped pacing and stared across the room at him. His eyes settled onto hers, holding her in place. He’d always managed to do that. He could stop her with one look, one crooked grin that would send her heart beating even faster.

  “I’ve yet to see what would make you smile again.”

  His words hit her hard, but she did not have the time or the mental stamina to analyze what he meant for the impact they had on her heart or the future.

  “This is not about me,” Tara exclaimed, trying to stay focused on the real problem. “What did you say to her when she remembered how Daisy died?”

  Kate had left once she discovered there was a serious problem. Tara had promised to call her later and fill her in. Now Tara was still waiting for Sam to explain what had actually happened while they were at his mother’s house.

  “We were on our way home when a dog ran out in front of the car.” Sam stepped away from the staircase and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I slammed on my brakes and the dog continued to run across the street to the other side. Marley started crying and said she remembered Daisy getting hit by a car. I tried to explain that the doctor said because of the bump on her head some memories were missing and would likely come back in pieces. I really did not know what to say, so I tried to console her.”

  Tara knew he’d probably done all he could. Still, she wanted to place the blame somewhere for her daughter’s upset. But how could she target Sam
when this entire chaotic mess was due to an accident?

  Taking her hair behind her ears, Tara blew out a sigh. “I’m going to go upstairs and talk to her.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  Tara held up her hand and shook her head. “Let me handle this.”

  The muscles in Sam’s jaw ticked, but he ultimately nodded his head in agreement. She wasn’t trying to push him away—well, maybe she was. All of their emotions were running on high alert right now, and she wanted to console her daughter alone. Who knew what he’d promise Marley in an attempt to get her to smile again? Likely she really would end up with that iguana.

  Tara started for the steps, but Sam’s hand reached out, his fingers curling around her arm. The rough pad of his thumb gently stroked over her bare, sensitive skin, causing way too many emotions and way too many tingles for her comfort.

  “I know you keep wanting to do this alone, but I’m not going anywhere until she is better.” He leaned closer to her ear and whispered, “And until you see that I’ve changed.”

  Tara did not look at him. She knew if she turned her head their lips would brush and she simply could not afford that—not when she was still feeling their kiss from that first night.

  He slowly released her, and Tara headed up the steps to her daughter’s bedroom. She eased open the door and found Marley sitting on her bed hugging her stuffed mermaid.

  Without a word, Tara sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on her daughter’s leg. “I’m sorry you remembered seeing Daisy hurt.”

  Marley sniffed and continued to toy with the yarn hair on the mermaid. Like most children, Marley closed in on herself when she was hurting. Likely because she didn’t know how to express her emotions properly or she just didn’t want to. Tara needed her daughter to know she wasn’t alone.

  “Your daddy said he told you about the bump on your head making some of your memories go away.”

  Marley nodded. “Why can’t you guys just tell me everything?”

  “Well, the doctor thought it was best if you remembered on your own.”