Home (Finding My Home Book 1)

by Nikita Parmenter

  I take another record-breaking fast shower but this time, there's an underlying excitement to put on Cash's shirt. I roll my eyes at myself as I dress and end up having to tuck the shirt into my jeans as it's ridiculously big on me. Once I’m dressed, I step up to the mirror and pull my make up out of my bag. I line my eyes with black kohl, add a bit of mascara and call it good, dropping the items back inside my backpack. I smile at myself in the mirror, it's stupid that I feel more secure wearing his shirt. It's pretty damn pathetic actually but what the hell. I dump my stuff in my room, already having secured my knives in the sheathes in my Jeans and make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, interrupting whatever conversation they were having.

  Jensen raises his eyebrow, smirking when he notices what I'm wearing. Riot, Rafe, Trick and Luc all narrow their eyes before turning and glaring at Cash. I chuckle and walk around the table to Cash, kissing him on the cheek as I walk past him towards the empty seat I'm assuming is for me.

  "Thanks for lending me your shirt" I grin at him. He leans back in his chair and puts both of his arms behind his head, grinning at the others and winking at me.

  I roll my eyes but can't quite suppress my smile. As if it was pre planned all of the other guys throw some sort food at him. I laugh out loud as he just picks up one of the rolls that hit him in the chest and takes a bite, grinning at Trick.

  "Thanks dude."

  Just as Trick opens his mouth to no doubt hurl an insult, Jenny interrupts.

  "Alright boys that's enough."

  "Sorry" they all say together causing me to burst out laughing again and Jenny sends me a smirk.

  We all load up our plates with food and it suddenly occurs to me.

  "What are you all still doing here?" I ask glancing round at all of them. All of them avoid my eyes and Rafe and Cash start rubbing the backs of their necks. I look to Jenny for an explanation.

  "They all refused to leave you. We figured it wasn't worth fight. It's not like when they were kids, we can't exactly just pick them up and take them home when they refuse to leave you now!" She chuckles and I join in, my heart melting that they refused to leave.

  I shove the last bite of eggs in my mouth and glance at the clock.

  "Fuck, we're going to be late" I scramble up and jog to the front door grabbing my backpack and helmet. "You guys are on your own, I'm not being late on my second day. I already caused enough drama yesterday, stupid Queen Bitch." I scoff jogging out the door.

  "What the hell does that mean?" Jensen yells after me, all of them following me to the truck I missed parked in the driveway yesterday.

  "Oh, I'm sure you'll see" I grin wickedly, "see you after school" I add hopping on my bike. I’m not naive enough to think that they’re going to want to hang out with me today, but that’s ok, I’m not sure I want all the attention that will come from hanging out with them anyway.

  I make it to school with time to spare and slowly gather my stuff together. The guys truck pulls up in the space next to mine and I mentally shrug. Before they get out, I make my way towards the front doors. Noticing all the looks that are being thrown my way from the other kids. I really hope the new girl sheen is going to rub off soon, I’m already sick of it. I spot Rylie and wave. She raises her eyebrow as she glances behind me, which is the only warning I get before a large hand messes up my hair just like he used to do when we were kids.

  "You, absolute dick, Riot!" I yell, ignoring the gasp from someone nearby, "here hold my shit" I say to Rafe shoving my stuff in his arms and taking off at full sprint after Riot, hearing Rafe chuckle behind me.

  As soon as I'm within jumping distance, I launch myself at his back, he stumbles to a stop but still manages to keep us both up right. My hand goes straight to his perfectly styled black hair and I scrub my hands all through it, making the perfectly styled mess now look like he’s been dragged through a hedge backwards.

  "Aww come on Ever, that took me ages" he whines like a child as he lets me down.

  I glance up at him admiring my handy work and loving his amber eyes laughing down at me.

  "I helped make it look pretty” I smirk as his eyes narrow, “besides, you started it" I grin.

  He chuckles and swings his arm around my shoulder, I tense at first but quickly relax, these guys are safe. As we make our way back to the others who are all pretty much rolling on the floor laughing, I start to notice something, I pinch Riot’s side lightly to get his attention.

  "Ow" he squeaks like a girl; I raise my eyebrow and he puts on an exaggerated deep voice, "what was that for?"

  I chuckle before replying, "everyone’s staring" I state.

  He glances around and shrugs, "so what?"

  Before I can question him more, we arrive back to the guys and Riley joins us.

  "That was fucking hilarious, Ever" Rylie chuckles.

  Rafe holds his hand out for a fist bump, which I happily give him, before taking my stuff back off of him. The guy’s move to surround me as we move into the school and I raise my eyebrow at Rylie who shrugs.

  "Hey guys, what's with the protective military like formation you've got going on right now?" I ask bluntly.

  They all tense before Luc finally answers me.

  "We know there’s something more going on and that you could be in danger, we don’t want to lose you again. It’s automatic for us to walk you like this."

  My heart melts as the other guys all agree but panic soon follows. I don’t want these guys knowing anything about what might be coming for me, it’s too damn dangerous.

  Also, how is it natural to walk in a protective formation around someone?

  More questions to add to the pile I’ve creatively named, who the fuck are these guys really?

  Catchy huh?

  "Awww, that's so fucking cute" Rylie adds, causing the guys to shuffle awkwardly.

  "Ain't it though?" I reply grinning, dismissing my thoughts for later.

  The bell rings and not giving a shit about what the idiotic kids think, since they are still sending us side glances and not being that subtle about it. I reach up and kiss each of them on the cheek. As we walk in the room, I notice Rafe following and raise my eyebrow.

  "I thought no one else was in this class with me and Ry?" I ask.

  He shrugs and signs, "I didn't want to miss out on the kiss goodbye" he grins his mini grin for me and I chuckle.

  "Dork" I say affectionately, as butterflies start to swoop in my stomach, he just nods in response his grin widening.

  Me and Rylie take our seats in the middle of the room and Rafe takes the seat behind me.

  Protecting my back as always.

  Class starts and although I really should be paying attention, I can't help but let my mind wonder over the events of the last day. I can't believe it's only been a day.

  The guys haven't left me yet, I haven't lost them, which is definitely unexpected. I thought at the first sign of what my life was like, they’d want me gone but maybe I didn’t give them enough credit? A tiny bud of hope starts to bloom, and I try desperately squash it. Especially since they've only just scratched the surface of what my life has really been like since I was forced to leave. I’m not ready to share those stories, none of them are happy. Even the ones where I’m protecting someone else are decidedly bloody.

  I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to share with them what my life was really like, I don’t want them to look at me differently. They don’t need to know the things I've had to do in order to protect myself, things no one should have to do or the stories behind each one of my scars. Hell, they don’t even know I have scars in the first place and there’s no reason they ever need to find out about them.

  My story gets worse the more it's told not better and I'm finally Home. I'm finally feeling somewhat safe for the first time since I was made to leave all those years ago and I'm not about to risk having that messed up by letting my guys know the extent of what's happened in the past.

  The past is the past and for everyone�
�s sake it needs to fucking stay there.

  That's another thing I keep seeming to forget, these guys are not mine anymore. I have to stop thinking of them as mine, it's only going to cause me pain in the long run. I know that, but my stupid brain doesn’t seem to be able to make the distinction. Maybe it’s got nothing to with my brain though, maybe it’s my heart. The bell rings jolting me out of my melancholy thoughts and making me realise that I managed to daydream the entire lesson away.

  Shit.

  "You ok girl?" Rylie asks.

  "Yeah just thinking" I reply frowning.

  She leans in close, speaking quietly so Rafe, whose walking on the other side of me doesn't hear.

  "You want to talk about it?"

  I think for a minute, actually it might help to talk to someone, “after school?" I ask.

  "Sure, I know somewhere we can go!" She agrees. "I managed to sweet talk my dad into letting me have my bike back" she grins speaking normally once again.

  "Hell yeah, oh actually that's something I've been meaning to ask you" I grin, this time lowering my voice, "any races around here? I'm getting restless."

  Rafe tenses next to me and pulls out his phone, his fingers flying across the screen. I'm focused on Ry’s answer though, so I just leave him and his weird reaction to it.

  "I got you girl; I'll explain after school. There's one on tonight actually," she winks at me, "I've got a feeling you’re damn good, those of us who've spent every fucking day close to dying, tend not to be actually afraid of death, meaning we can take risks normal well-adjusted people wouldn't" she chuckles darkly and I grin in response, she understands more than I could've hoped for.

  Rafe is practically ridged at my side and I glance at him in confusion. He gives me a tight smile in response and goes back to typing on his phone.

  "I'll speak to my guy and see what I can do about getting you in the race without the upfront fee."

  "Tell him, Hel with one 'L' wants to ride."

  "No fucking way, that's you! Of course, it fucking is. Shit girl" she pauses and then pulls me to the side of the corridor, Rafe following, a frown like thunder on his face. "Look I don't know all of your situation, but I know enough. Are you sure it's safe to use the name you used back wherever you’ve come from?" she points out concerned.

  I suck in a harsh breath, I'm such a fucking dumbass.

  "Good point, think he'll let me race without the name?" I ask, my body practically vibrating to feel the rush and danger of pushing myself and my bike to its limits.

  "He owes me a favour" she winks, and I chuckle, following her down the hall to our next class.

  Before we enter Rafe gently grabs my hand and taps his cheek. I look at him confused for a second before it finally clicks, and I stand up on tip toes as he bends down so I can reach and kiss him on the cheek.

  "Dork" I whisper and his chest rumbles in a laugh.

  I smile at Trick as I enter the classroom and take the spare seat between him and Rylie. Queen Bitch glaring at me the entire time. That reminds me, I lean over to Rylie, lowering my voice so the teacher won't hear.

  "What's Queen Bitches name?"

  "Selena" she chuckles.

  Good to know.

  "Ever" Trick says sternly.

  I study his features and realise that I'm in trouble for something, but I can't for the life of me figure out what I've done?

  "What?" I whisper harshly.

  "Everleigh, I understand that you are new here, but the rules are pretty universal no matter where you’ve gone to school, no talking in class." The teacher snaps harshly.

  "Sorry, Sir" I grumble, shooting a glare in Trick’s direction.

  Ass.

  I spend the whole of the lesson aware of Trick’s eyes on me and not in the sexy way, not that he'd see me like that anyway but still. He's definitely pissed but I can't quite work out why. This is the first time I’ve seen him since saying goodbye, I have no idea how I’ve managed to do something to piss him off in that time, that takes skills I don’t possess, to annoy someone without even seeing them.

  We've got lunch next, so I'm not sure when he's planning to talk to me since we sit at different tables but I'm guessing it's going to be fairly long-winded talk if his intense stare is anything to go by. Jenny gave me money for food on my way out of the door this morning despite my protests and I'm not missing out on food to have what I think is going to be lecture, no fucking way. He can scowl at me from across the lunchroom along with the rest of them, if Rafe’s mood earlier is anything to go by, then they’re all going to be pissed at me for something. As soon as the bell rings I jump up, stuff everything in my bag, throw an apologetic grin Rylie’s way and hot foot it to the cafeteria.

  "Ever" Trick growls from behind me.

  "Sorry, don't know an Ever." I throw over my shoulder, Deja vu hitting me from when I ran from them all yesterday.

  For once my lack of height is a massive advantage and I dodge and weave through the crowded halls leaving him behind. As soon as I get to the cafeteria, I speed my way through the lunch line and pile my plate high with all manner of foods. As I'm walking towards the same table me and Rylie sat at yesterday, one of, I want to say Selena, but I can’t really remember, the queen bitches’ followers sticks her foot out. I glance down at it and then up at her raising my eyebrow and glancing over her, she’s got the typical perfect thing going on although she's caked in so much makeup I've got no idea if that's what she really looks like.

  Her Auburn locks are actually really pretty and if she was nicer, I'd tell her I loved the colour, apart from the fact it's been flat ironed within an inch of its life. Dressed the typical way for these sorts of people, in a too short skirt and a too tight top and fucking stilettos . . . At high school. I find I'm utterly unimpressed by the entire image she’s trying to achieve it's just, fake.

  Flipping her the bird, I step around her foot.

  Absolutely pathetic.

  Just before I'm out of earshot she calls after me, loud enough to quiet the entire cafeteria.

  "They'll never really want you, you’re just the flavour of the day nothing but a cheap little whore. No one will ever want you; I mean look at you. You're disgusting" she casts a disgusted look over me, her eyes pausing on my covered thigh, the one with the scar. "You're damaged and I'm betting in more ways than one" she sneers.

  The whole cafeteria is deathly quiet. Waiting to see what my reaction will be. The truth is, she’s actually right on the money. She’s just voiced thoughts that I've been thinking myself. I'm aware of the doors opening and more people entering as I take a step closer to her, a dangerous smile playing on my lips. I let my demons shine in my eyes and feel a massive sense of satisfaction as her pupils dilate and she swallows in fear.

  "You know the thing about being damaged?" I ask my voice deathly calm, "you've got nothing left to lose" I grin widely, "I know exactly where I stand with them and I know what's more than likely going to happen as more of my demons come out to play" I smirk and lean even closer, whispering, "I'll tell you a secret though, I'm going to enjoy every second of it whilst it lasts" I reach my hand up and she flinches making me laugh as I tap her cheek lightly a couple of times, "crawl back to where you came from sweetheart, you can't break the already broken, it'd be pointless to even try" I turn back around ignoring the hush of the cafeteria and walk to my table taking the side with bench and casually start eating.

  I hate bullies but more than that, I hate observant bullies. Conversation soon starts back up and Rylie plops her tray opposite me.

  "You know nothing she said was true right?" she says studying me.

  I just shrug, it was but there is no point arguing about it with Rylie.

  "Ever seriously ..." she starts but gets interrupted as the guys sit down.

  "We didn't hear all of that Ever, but we heard enough" Luc says leaning in close and brushing some hair behind my ear. "Don’t listen to anything she says, she just a jealous bitch."

  "Ain't that the tru
th" Cash grumbles.

  Riot leans in close, his eyes capturing mine, he lowers his voice so only I can hear.

  "I'll dance with your demons Dragonfly, if you’ll dance with mine?" Molten flames light his amber eyes and I realise once again that a lot more has changed since I've been gone. I'm not the only person with demons now. I kiss him on the cheek, letting my lips linger a second longer than I should've.

  "Deal" I whisper softly.

  I turn back to the others and smile tightly aware that they can probably tell it's fake. "I won't listen to her guys, don't worry. I've dealt with a hell of a lot worse, the last bully I dealt with got a bit stabby" I chuckle and they all stare at me in shock.

  Granted this isn't a great story, it will just make the glaring differences between us even more obvious but it's not one of the worse ones and it'll distract them enough for me to put on a better fake smile.

  "What?" I ask around a mouth full of burger, lady like I know, before picking up my fork and starting on the pasta.

  "Please tell me your joking" Jensen says wide eyed.

  "Nope, look" I pull up the sleeve of my jumper and reveal an inch-long scar on my forearm near my elbow.

  "Holy shit" Riot curses, gently bringing my arm closer to him to inspect. I switch my burger to my other hand and keep eating because food.

  He pokes it lightly and I smirk at him until he leans forward and gently places a kiss on top of it. My heartbeat quickens as he raises his eyes to mine.

  Fuck. No one has ever kissed me with so much care before. I'm no virgin but this right now feels a hell of a lot more intimate than anything I've done before. I clear my throat and glance away, catching his smirk at the last minute.

  "Dick" Trick grumbles from across the table causing the rest of the guys to chuckle. Rylie saves me from further embarrassment sort of.

  "Hey Ever, I've gotten to know you fairly well already so what did you do to make her stab you?" she smirks.

  The guys all turn to me and Jensen raises his eyebrow.

  Well fuck.

  "Erm well she'd been hurling insults at me, cornering me with her group and beating the shit out of me and then she spiked my drink at a party. I saw her do it fortunately but still. I couldn't get caught fighting again or I'd get suspended AGAIN and I couldn't afford to have another suspension on my record" I pause hoping maybe they'd focus on the whole suspension thing to distract them so I don’t have to finish telling this story, it’s not my proudest moment even if it did get the job done, her gone.