Dare to Dream

by C. J. Welles

  What was left of my heart got ripped from my chest and is laying on his driveway. There’s no way I can talk to him now.

  I'm totally stuffed by the time I reach the main road. My eyes are stinging from crying, my throat burns, and my legs feel like jelly from running. My whole body aches all over and I feel mentally drained.

  I rest against the gate for a few moments to get my breath back. What the hell am I going to do? I'm in the middle of nowhere. I know there’s a gas station up ahead a few miles. I head towards it and I'm nearly there when a car pulls up alongside me. I don't look and keep walking. I know it's not Jace, I can tell his truck from a mile away. I pray it’s not Bryson, I don't think I can take any more punches from him while I’m down.

  The car drives ahead and stops at the station. Once it’s in the light, I can see its Jace’s mom’s car. When the door opens, I sigh when I see Jane step out. She is probably the last person I want to see, considering I’ve just broken up with her son. But I’m also relieved it’s not anyone else.

  I cringe when the passenger door opens, and Makayla is there. She’s bound to know. They all would have heard it. They all know I was a prostitute.

  Fuck my life.

  I walk to the car. I can't avoid them. I'm not rude and they haven’t done anything. It’s all on me.

  Jane places a hand on my shoulder. “Come on sweetheart, we’ll drive you home. You can’t be out here.” I really want to say no. She doesn’t have to go out of her way for me. But I don’t have any other options and I am buggered.

  The whole trip home is awkward. Really fricken awkward, and none of us talk.

  I can only imagine what they think. Actually, I know roughly what they most likely think. The same as everyone, that I'm a low life slut. I'm about as low as the dirt under their boots.

  *

  PULLING UP TO my house, I jump out and go to thank them for the lift. But Jane bets me. “Is it okay if I come up?” she asks, and I nod. I can’t say no after she just brought me here.

  She turns to Makayla “Do you mind waiting in the car sweetie? Just for a few minutes?”

  “She can come up as well if you don’t mind. I’ve got nothing to hide,” I offer. Makayla probably knows more than Jane anyways. Jane nods and we all get out and head to my apartment.

  Once inside it feels like hours before Jane speaks. She keeps looking at me then Makayla. I take a seat on the couch and the other two follow my lead.

  "Honey, you can relax,” Jane says, “I am not here to have a go at you. I also don't think any less of you. Jace filled me in with his angry ranting. But I want to hear from you. There must be a story from your past, not many girls would choose the life you lived if they had options." I go to talk, but she raises her hand to stop me. "I wasn't having a go at you. It is your life and I’m not here to scold you for it. I’m here for you."

  I brush away a tear that slips down my cheek. I didn’t think she was having a go at me, I’m crying because she is being so kind about it. I have not cried in nearly four years. The last time was on the bus from Austin to Dallas. And now the past few hours, I’ve spent most of the time crying.

  "No, I didn't want to live like that. I was set to become an attorney, I was smart and nearly the top of my class. In sophomore year, I had a 4.0 GPA and was due to be accepted into Baylor College," I pause and lower my head. This is the hardest part. Going over what my step-father has done to me.

  I spend the next two hours telling them everything from my past. Everything from when I was fourteen up until I met Jace.

  By the time I have finished, Jane is sitting on one side of me and Makayla on the other. Jane sobs through most of the story, and I feel bad for making her cry. Makayla gets up and gets me a drink when my throat is so sore that I can’t talk properly.

  I always wish I could turn back to when I was fourteen. I wish I had just left back then, or that I could have made more of an effort to stop him, somehow.

  But I have never wished more than I do now, that it never happened. I wish my life could have followed a different path. That I lived a different life and made different choices.

  Jace’s family and most of his friends are so lovely and kind. I don’t want to lose them from my life. I don’t want to lose Jace. But it’s how it goes. I’ve finally found an amazing man who is everything to me and has my heart, and now he is basically ashamed of me.

  But also, if I hadn't lived the life I did, I may not have met Jace at all. I would not have had him to lose him. I’ll just have to be thankful for the time we shared together and cherish it.

  ∞∞∞

  Chapter 17

  Jace

  I'M LYING ON the couch in the front sunroom when I hear a car pull up in the driveway a few hours after mom and Kayla went after Callie. I look at the clock and it’s four in the morning. I sit up and look out the window. I can see them both walking towards the house.

  I don't know whether I am relieved or disappointed Callie isn't with them. My heart wants her here, but my mind is glad she isn't.

  Callie and Bryson together. I cannot get my head around it.

  Callie was a prostitute. I knew she was a stripper, she has stripped for me in the past. Jeez, that’s how we met. But a prostitute?

  God knows how many men my girlfriend has had sex with. Fuck, she's had sex with my best friend. Is he going to think of that when he sees her? The thought of Bryson seeing Callie naked makes me want to break things. The thought of him seeing her come apart from pleasure, hearing her sexy moans as she says my name when I fuck her. Did he make her come over and over like I do? Is my girlfriend going to be comparing me to my friend?

  I'm brought out of my thoughts when mom and Kayla enter the room.

  I jump up and slowly walk to them. Mom doesn't look happy at all. I look to Kayla and she looks at me with disgust. Next thing I know her hand flies out and connects with my face. “That’s for being a fuckhead,” she yells, then walks from the room.

  What the hell? What the fuck happened when they were away? I look back to mom. "Where is Callie?" I ask.

  She doesn't answer for a long moment. Her deep brown eyes, the same shade as mine, stare at me with the same look as Kayla.

  “At home,” she says sadly. Well, I’m relieved she’s safe. She continues. "Did you not think that maybe there was a reason for why Callie had a job she did? Did you not stop to think about her, before you ripped into her?" She turns and walks towards the door. "For the first time since you were born, I am ashamed of you. Both you and Bryson. You both owe Callie an apology if she ever talks to either of you again. And if she doesn't, I do not blame her." With that, she turns on her heel and walks away.

  What the hell? I’m so fucking confused.

  I drop back to the couch and fling my arm over my face. This is all too hard. It's too much to take in and I’m so fucking tired.

  What feels like only minutes later, I’m woken when someone kicks the couch. I turn my head and see Ethan sitting on the chair opposite, with a coffee mug in his hand. I look to the window and see its daylight outside, which means it must be after seven.

  “You look like shit.”

  “Thanks, man, that’s just what I want to hear when I’ve just been woken up.” I look at the clock and it’s eight-thirty.

  I groan and sit up. "Did you know?" I ask him first up.

  He shakes his head. "Nah buddy, I recognized her as the stripper from my bachelor night, but that is all. I only remember her because she was fucking good at her job. I remember she paid most of her attention to me and Bryson."

  "Do not say anything else,” I grind out. “I do not want to hear how my girlfriend rubbed her ass all up in your face and I wish I didn’t hear that she slept with Bryson," I groan again.

  "You do realize it's in the past. She didn't cheat on you with him," he says, pointing out the obvious. I know that, but still. "Plus, you did have sex with her best friend as well, and you didn't tell her."

  “I know. Fuck, I know. I’
m fairly sure we all know that now.”

  “Makayla was really upset when she got home this morning. She told me somethings, about Callie. Bry really fucked up and should have kept out of it. I don’t know what he was thinking.” He points to me, “You need to call her. And let her talk before you go ripping her down any further. You need to pull your head in and look after your girlfriend better.” With that, he walks out of the room. He pokes his head back in the doorway a few seconds later. “And don’t you go anywhere near my sister. You will only destroy anything you have left with Callie if you do.”

  I stalk up to my room and hop in the shower. I need to wake the hell up properly before I go having any serious conversations.

  *

  Callie

  I’M WOKEN UP to my cell ringing. I don’t reach it before it stops ringing, so I leave it on my nightstand. It starts ringing again straight after, so I grab it to see who is calling. Jace’s sexy face is right there on the screen. I contemplate whether to answer or not. Do I really want to hear anything he could possibly want to say to me?

  It stops ringing before I make up my mind. I roll over and try to go back to sleep. I keep tossing and turning but sleep doesn’t come though. I need to talk to him. I need to hear his voice. I need to know if everything is going to be okay or not. I pick up my cell and dial his number. It rings three times before he answers.

  “Hello,” I hear his rough husky voice say over the cell. My body relaxes into my bed from just hearing him.

  “Jace, it’s me.”

  “I know,” is all he replies with.

  This is really fucking awkward. I don’t know what to say. He’s the one who rang me first but he’s not saying anything. “Can we talk?” I ask.

  It takes a moment for him to reply. God knows what he’s thinking. I really wish I could see his face. I want to see if there is pity on his face or if he’s still angry. I don’t want his pity, I just want his love. I hear him sigh. “Yeah Angel, we can talk.” Things mustn’t be so bad if he’s calling me Angel.

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. Do you really think what you said last night?” I ask. I need to know if he does. I need to know if he thinks I’m a slut and everything else he said last night.

  “Fuck, I don’t know. I can’t remember half of what was said. I was too angry to remember.”

  “Do you think I’m a slut? I need to know Jace.”

  He sighs again and takes his time replying. Oh, God, I hope he doesn’t say yes. I can’t take any more hits to the heart. “No, I don’t Angel. I shouldn’t have fuckin’ said it. I know I can’t take it back, but I wish I could.”

  I let out a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding. “It’s okay,” I say softly.

  It’s not okay though. It’s far from okay. But as he said, he can’t take it back and I can’t take it back that I didn’t tell him sooner. I could hate him for his reaction and end our relationship for good. But all that will do is make me miserable. If he’s happy to stay with me, if he’s happy to work through this together then I am too. I love him, and I don't’ want to lose him. I can’t imagine not having him in my life.

  “I don’t like the idea of any man touching you, Callie,” he says, bringing me out of my own thoughts. “I hate the idea of anyone seeing your naked body. Seeing what’s mine. It made me jealous when I heard you speak about fucking Bryson. All I could see was red. The thought of my friend having his hands all over you,” he grates out. “I just couldn’t stand the thought of it.”

  God no, please tell me this isn’t over. Please.

  “But like you said,” Jace continues, “It’s no different than Krystal and me. Now, I know how you must have felt. And well, I’m as jealous as all hell.”

  “I wish it didn’t happen. I didn’t even see you there that night. I would have remembered your face if you had been there. I didn’t even put two and two together that you would know each other. Bry and I didn’t talk about where he was from or what he did. All I knew was he was at the bachelor party and we just talked about random things before-”

  “Don’t. Please do not say it. I do not want to know any more,” Jace gruffly says.

  “Sorry.” I wait a moment before talking again. “Is there any chance I will see you again?”

  “Do you really want to? Can you forgive me for the things I said?” he asks warily.

  I nod, forgetting he can’t see me. “Yes,” I croak out. My throat is sore from holding back tears.

  He offers to drive up, but I say I will come down, to him. There’s more room at the ranch. I don’t want to be stuck in this tiny apartment if things are going to be awkward between us. Plus, I have a hell of a lot of explaining to do. A shit load of my past I need to tell him.

  I tell him I will be down in a few hours. I grab a quick shower and get dressed, in cut-off jeans and one of Jace’s sweatshirts he hardly wears. Pulling it over my head his smell surrounds me, and it makes me feel like I’m at home.

  An hour later I’m pulling up in front of Jace’s house. I see his truck in the car shed so he should be close, unless he’s gone for a ride. I get out of my car and head towards the stables as I see Kaylee walking out. She smirks when she sees me, and I just want to rearrange her face with my fist.

  “What are you doing here? I think you’re a bit late. He doesn't want you anymore. He’s got me now,” she says, as I walk up to her.

  I know Jace doesn’t want her. He was happy that I was coming down here and I know he wouldn’t do that to me.

  “Fuck off Kaylee. He doesn’t want you,” I state.

  “That’s not what he said when I was just sucking his cock. You can run along back to your whore house.” She must be joking. She’s the one who sounds like a whore.

  I step up to her. “Jace wouldn’t touch you even if you were the last chick on earth. He told me how shit you were in bed,” I growl. He didn't really because I don't want to know about their sex, at all. But I do remember him telling me he couldn’t get off with her. So that’s good enough for me.

  “Well, of course, I am shit, compared to you. You’ve had plenty of experience, so there’s no doubt you can please him, just like you have with hundreds of other men out there,” she says, in a snarky tone as she smirks.

  Oh, I wish I could gouge her eyes out. But I know it will only cause trouble for Jace and Ethan, so I keep my hands to myself.

  I get up in her face and growl. “You need to fuck off. If I see you near Jace again, I will hurt you. Do not cross me, I lived on the streets for months and I know how to look after myself,” I say in a deadly tone. I know I sound like gutter trash, but she needs to piss off. “If you say one more word about me or try to come between us, I will make you wish you were dead.”

  With that I barge past her, knocking my shoulder into her as I go. She screams, but I do not turn around. A few seconds later, Jace comes flying out of the stable door as I reach it, nearly knocking me over.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” he asks, concern showing on his face.

  I smile. “Nothing at all. Kaylee just didn’t like what I said to her after she told me she just sucked your cock in here.” He frowns and opens his mouth to talk. “Don’t worry, I didn’t believe her.”

  Walking into the stables, I walk to Brock’s stall and rub his nose when he nudges my arm. Jace stands next to me. “Want to go for a ride?” he asks, and I nod my head. I love riding. There’s nothing better than having the wind in your hair. It feels freeing to be out in the open space.

  Jace saddles up Brock and Ace. We lead them out of the stables and once there, he helps me mount Ace. Because I’m so fricken short I still need help, even after riding plenty of times. I follow him as we ride out the east side of the ranch. I haven’t been out that way, but I remember him saying there’s a small lookout that looks down onto a small man-made dam. It takes us around fifteen minutes to ride there.

  Hopping down, with Jace’s help, I then climb on top of the lookout. You can’t see far, but wha
t you can see is magnificent. It’s so nice being able to see only land and trees everywhere you look.

  I sit down and Jace plonks down next to me. He looks to me and my insides want to melt. He is so beautiful.

  He tucks a lock of hair behind my ears. “Angel, Ethan hinted to me something about you. He wouldn’t tell me anything. He basically told me to pull my head in and talk to you. You know you can tell me anything. I will not judge you, I won’t think any less of you and I promise I won’t look at you any differently. You are my girl.”

  I take a breath before speaking.

  ∞∞∞

  Chapter 18

  Callie

  I DON’T KNOW how to sugar coat it for him, I’m not used to talking about my deep buried secrets. It was easy to tell Jane and Makayla because even though I am close to Jane, I’m not attached to her like Jace. I don’t have a bond with them like Jace and I do.

  I know telling him about my past will hurt him, and I don’t want to hurt him. We’ve both had enough hurt in the past twenty-four hours. I contemplate how to begin, but when he reaches over and clasps my hands in his, I break down and I just blurt it out. “My step-father abused and raped me when I was younger.” I let out a deep breath and for once I feel like I can breathe easier. I feel the tension easing from my body.

  I jump when Jace leaps up from the ground and spins around to face me. His eyes are murderous, and his knuckles are going white from clenching his fists. If I didn’t know him, I would be shit scared right now. Six feet four of muscles attached to an angry Jace would be scary for a stranger.

  “Are you fucking serious?” he grinds out, in a deadly tone. Looking at him closer, I can see the veins are bulging on his neck from grinding his jaw. He is so angry. I look down to the ground. I feel like shit now for telling him. I don’t want him angry or upset. I felt good a minute ago from telling him, but now I regret it.

  “FUCK,” he bellows out and I flinch. He is super mad.