Trouble in Loveland (The Loveland Series Book 1)
Page 14
He chuckled. “Are you really?”
“Yes. And if I remember correctly, you asked me to dance.”
“I was obligated to.”
I stopped running and gave him an incredulous look. This wasn’t going in the direction I wanted it to.
He stopped and grinned at me. “If I’m going to toss gems out there, you can’t take them seriously.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
“Charlee, dancing with you was the highlight of the night, and you didn’t do anything to ruin my date, that was all me.”
“My dad mentioned she kind of let you have it and my name was mentioned.”
“That it was, but again, that was my fault, not yours. I probably should have been more of a gentleman and averted my eyes when it came to you, but in my defense, you made that difficult.”
“How’s that?”
“You looked very grown up and you dance well.”
“That’s what happens when your best friend is cheer captain and on the dance team. And by the way, I prefer beautiful to grown up.”
He reached up and touched my cheek. “I’m sure you do, it’s just I’m having a hard time reconciling how I feel about you right now.”
“I’m not a balance sheet.”
“No, you’re not, but you’re my partner’s daughter and quite a bit younger than me. And most importantly, I’m a dad. Anything I do affects Josh. I need to be careful.”
I thought for a moment of all the things I could say to help put him at ease, reasons why we would be good together, but then I realized that no matter how much I wanted to be with him, I wanted it to be in the right way. I didn’t want to be with anyone that was unsure about me. I remembered Jay trying to convince me of all the reasons we were perfect for each other, and it all sounded wonderful and right, but in the end I couldn’t, because it didn’t feel right. “I understand.” I turned to finish our lazy jog.
He didn’t follow right away, but he easily made up the hundred yards that separated us. “So that’s all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say? If you’re not sure, I’m not going to throw myself at you.”
“I would never accuse you of that, but tell me what you think. Don’t you have any reservations?”
“Other than your hesitation, no.”
“Really?”
“Really. And if you’re looking for me to convince you, I won’t.” I sounded more mature than I felt. I really wanted to convince him, but I knew that was wrong. I found it in myself to run rather than jog, the adrenaline helped.
Ryan kept pace, but he didn’t say anything, and neither did I. My hopes had been dashed, but I was proud of myself for not acting like a silly schoolgirl.
As we neared Ryan’s fence, he slowed down and reached for my arm. “Hey, no matter what, I still want to be friends.”
I nodded my head. “See you later.” Saying you wanted to be friends was like a death sentence to any relationship.
“Yeah, see you in a bit.”
Oh yeah, work was going to be pleasant. I mean awkward.
I spent longer than normal stretching out in the backyard. That so did not go how I wanted it to. I had been hoping he would be asking me out, and I felt kind of moronic now that there was no doubt in his mind how I felt about him. No pain, no gain, right? Too bad this was all pain and no gain.
I was more than grateful my dad wasn’t in the kitchen when I came in; it allowed me to retreat to the basement, nurse my wounds, and regain my composure. Maybe Ryan was right, we shouldn’t even consider dating while we worked together. If things went south, it could be all sorts of uncomfortable. Even still, I knew in my heart we could be great together. I decided to really start looking at psychology programs and for an apartment.
“You’re quiet this morning.” My dad noticed on our drive in together.
“Long weekend.”
“Is that all?”
“No.”
“Ryan?”
“Yep.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope.”
I could see him grin before I turned and looked out the window at our fellow motorists.
“You want to do lunch today?” My dad was doing his best to make me feel better.
“If it includes French fries, yes.”
“Lots of them.”
“It’s a date, then.” The only date I would be getting.
My dad reached over and touched my knee. “Don’t worry, he’ll come around.”
I looked over to him with a questioning glance.
“I’m pretty smart for an old guy.”
I laughed quietly, it helped lighten my mood.
I was feeling better as I settled in and started my day with finishing off second quarter reports. It was mind numbing, but at least it kept my mind off Ryan. Right before lunch, my mom called. She rarely called me first anymore, so I was pleasantly surprised. Too bad, it was anything but pleasant.
“Mark and I just saw some of the wedding pictures that you posted on Facebook and Instagram. We were shocked.”
“Why?”
“You looked like a hussy.”
“Wow. Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m just saying, I thought you knew better than to dress like that. What did your dad say?”
“He said I looked beautiful.”
“Well, nobody’s saying you aren’t.”
Except for her. Ever since she and my dad divorced, it was like suddenly I was competition and complimenting me meant lessening her. I had put up with it for years, but I was done.
“You know what, Mom? I would like it if, for once, you called me to see how I’m doing instead of pointing out what you think my perceived faults are. Heck, I’d like it if you just called me at all.”
“Well,” she said. “I didn’t realize what a terrible mother I was.”
Here we go again. The guilt trip. This time I wasn’t falling for it. “I’ve got to get back to work. Talk to you later.”
She hung up. That was mature.
The day was getting better and better.
By the time my dad and I made it to lunch, I was ready to order a double order of fries, ice cream, and for good measure, a stick of butter. Just kidding about the butter, unless it came with popcorn.
“You still upset about Ryan?” My dad perused his menu.
I was still huffy and puffy about the phone call with my mom. I had to stop myself from crying several times.
“No.”
“CJ, you’re not a good liar.”
I set my menu down and looked at my dad’s concern-filled eyes. “Did you find what I wore to the wedding distasteful or slutty?”
His eyes widened to the max and he coughed a little. “Why are you even asking that?”
I couldn’t tell him the truth. As much as my mother had hurt me over the years, I still felt like I needed to be loyal to her. I still blamed my dad for what he did to her. “You didn’t answer the question.”
“No, honey. You could never be either. Sure, as your dad, I would like to see you in body armor every day, but you were lovely beyond words, not only in dress, but in your mannerisms.”
A tear escaped. I quickly wiped it away. “I love you.”
“I love you, kiddo.”
A dad, fries, and milkshakes are the cure for almost anything.
I went back to work feeling much better, but the afternoon dragged on as I feared it might. I spent a lot of it on the phone talking to a poor woman named Shelley whose husband died recently. Apparently, he was the one who had handled all the payroll items for their company; she had no idea what to do. I walked her, step-by-step, through the process of compiling and then transmitting their data to us. It literally took about ten times before she got it. I had a feeling I would be walking her through it again the next pay period. I didn’t mind. I felt terrible for her.
Besides, we had an interesting conversation about the man who frequented my thoughts. Ryan managed this account lo
ng ago, and he made quite the impression on Shelley and her husband Barry. From the sounds of it, Barry had been sick for some time. When he first became sick, Ryan personally went to their place of business and streamlined their accounting and payroll processes to make life easier for Barry. He also visited Barry in the hospital and even attended his funeral. I had no idea. I think Shelley was as big of fan of Ryan as I was. She was in tears talking about the kindness he had extended to her family. I wasn’t surprised by the news. Ryan was a good man. He was kind and thoughtful, but in a quiet unassuming sort of way.
Sure I was attracted to him physically, but the attraction was more than skin deep. I was attracted to the kind of person he was, even if he was frustrating me at the moment.
Right before it was time to leave for the day, I had a surprise visitor. I hadn’t seen him all day, which I would have normally considered a tragedy, but not today. I was still feeling a little awkward with where we had left things that morning.
“Hey.” He stood at my door, running his fingers through his hair.
I wouldn’t mind giving that a go. Focus, I told myself. “Hey, how was your day?”
He stepped into my office, if only just barely. “Productive. How about you?”
“Same.”
“Great.” He sounded unsure.
“Did you want my list of transmitted reports? Because I already emailed them to you.”
“No.” He smiled. “I saw them. I’m sorry I didn’t respond, I’ve been wrapped up with some clients that extended their annual tax returns, and they aren’t being very forthcoming with the remaining items I need.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“Not really.”
“There’s always tomorrow.”
“Speaking of tomorrow.” He walked closer to my desk. “I hope that you’ll still run with me. I don’t want to lose the relationship we already have while I’m trying to figure things out.”
I thought about it for a moment. It was hard for me to be around him. I didn’t like limbo land, but I did value our friendship and him. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I’ll be the one in the pink shorts.”
He smiled in relief. “Those are my favorite pair.” He walked off without another word.
I smiled to myself, and the stupid butterflies did a small happy dance. I told them there wasn’t anything to be happy about yet and not to get their hopes up.
We met every morning to run, but Friday. We both tried hard to keep our conversations light and platonic. For me, it was easier said than done. I felt like what I’d wanted for so long was so close I could taste it, but on the other hand it seemed further away than ever.
I drove myself into work since my dad had a business dinner with a potential new client. I admit that thought gave me heartburn. I didn’t even know who it was with and he wasn’t married, so what he did was his business, but it brought back a lot of very painful memories. It didn’t help that I had received a scathing email from my mother the night before outlining how hard it was to be a mother in her situation. I would never understand, and she just prayed that I would never have to endure the heartache and humiliation she had to, but that I was asking for just that if I kept dressing like a floozy. I didn’t even respond. I deleted it and counted the days until Krissy was back from her ten-day honeymoon in the Bahamas. I needed a friend.
On the drive in, my phone rang and I picked it up on the Bluetooth.
“Hello.”
“Charlee?”
I didn’t recognize the voice. “This is she.”
“Hey, this is Aidan, Chance’s old roommate. We danced at the wedding.”
“Oh, hi.” I remembered who he was, but I wondered why he would call me or how he got my number.
“Maviny gave me your number.” That cleared it up. “I know this may seem last minute, but I was hoping you would like to go out tonight.”
Huh. Did I? It’s not like I was dating anyone, even though I really wanted to be. But, the thought of being home on another Friday night by myself depressed me. “What did you have in mind?” Please don’t say a movie.
“My parents own a ranch near Estes Park. How does horseback riding and a picnic sound?”
Uh, perfect. This guy was good. “Sounds lovely.”
“Great. Can I pick you up at five?”
“Yes. I’ll text you my address.”
“I look forward to it.”
I kind of did, too. I didn’t know how long it was going to take Ryan to work through his issues, if he ever would, but I wasn’t going to sit around and pine for him in the meantime.
I walked into the office with a little spring in my step. Aidan, from what I remembered, was handsome and tall, which was a must for me. I also remember he had cowboy written all over him, which totally worked for me, too.
I stopped by my dad’s office first. “Hi, Felicity, is my dad with anyone?” His door was closed.
“Well, don’t you look pretty today.”
I loved Felicity. She looked very pretty, too, in yellow.
“He’s meeting with Ryan,” she informed me just as my dad’s door opened and Ryan walked out.
Gosh, did he look good. He smiled when he saw me. “Hi, Charlee.”
I tucked my hair behind my ear. I felt my heart rate increase exponentially. He had that effect on me. “Good morning.” I noticed Felicity smiling between us, like she knew something. I took that as my cue to walk past Ryan and into my dad’s office.
Ryan didn’t move, he just let me pass by. Oh, he smelled good. I really needed to get the name of that cologne.
“Hey, kiddo.” My dad was happy to see me. “What can I do for you?”
Ryan still wasn’t going anywhere, so I wasn’t sure what to say. I looked between both men. Why wasn’t Ryan leaving?
“I wanted to let you know that I probably won’t be home when you get back from your dinner appointment tonight. I didn’t want you to worry.” I was going to leave it at that and tell him later where I would be and who I would be with. That was a nice thought.
“Big date tonight?” There was a gleam in his eye.
I turned so only my dad could see my face and gave him my what-do-you-think-you’re-doing look. He smiled like he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Something like that.” I tried to play it cool.
“I hope you have a good time, honey.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I said through gritted teeth. I turned to find Ryan looking at me with some intense confused eyes. “See you later.” I wasn’t sure what else to say to him.
He didn’t respond other than to nod his head.
I walked to my office feeling warm. I wasn’t sure if it was out of embarrassment or being around Ryan. Probably a good dose of both. My dad and I were going to have a little chat later.
I had a hard time concentrating on my work, which seemed dumb. Ryan and I were only friends, and it was perfectly fine for me to have a date. Ryan hadn’t given any indication he had decided that he wanted to date me. We were basically running partners and friends.
I skipped my lunch break since I was leaving early. Leaving early meant I unfortunately ran into Ryan in the parking lot. He always left early on Fridays so he could get Josh. I waved at him. “Have a good weekend.”
He turned from his Ford Explorer and began walking my way. Why couldn’t he just leave? My waving goodbye wasn’t an invitation.
He met me at my car. “Josh was hoping to see you tonight. Are you going to be busy the whole night?”
“That’s the plan. Can Josh come and play tomorrow?” I felt like I was making a playdate for myself.
“That’s a long date, I guess I can safely bet it’s not the movies.” He ignored my request for a playdate with Josh.
“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it were.”
“Yes, of course. That would be too boring for you. So what does this guy have planned that is first-date worthy for you?”
I wasn’t sure what to make of this conversation and
why I was even having it. Didn’t he get that it was him I wanted to date and for him I would have even gone to the movies, yet there he stood asking me what my plans were for the night with another man? Why did he even care? I decided to play along, though I was annoyed with him. “Horseback riding and a picnic.”
That wiped the smirk off his face. “Hmm . . . It seems a little overkill for a first date.”
“It’s terrible that there’s a man who feels I’m worthy enough to ask out and then heaven forbid he tries to impress me on our first date.”
He stepped closer and took off his aviators. “Charlee, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to take it that way.”
“I’m going to be late. I need to go.”
He reached up and touched my arm. “I’m sorry I kept you.”
“Tell Josh he can come over tomorrow or Sunday if you’re not busy. I would love to see him.”
“He’d like that . . . I’d like it too.”
“See you later.” I turned, opened my car door, and got in. I sat there for a second. I wasn’t even sure now that I wanted to go on my date with Aidan. I was drawn to Ryan. I was about to turn on my car when my phone’s text alert went off. I picked up my phone.
Your date is one lucky guy.
There was no luck involved. He asked and I said yes. I texted back. Then I threw caution to the wind and put my heart on the line. You should try it sometime. I hesitated to hit send, but at this point I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. My thumb made direct contact with the send button. I tossed my phone in the passenger seat. Why couldn’t he be the lucky guy?
I rushed home and changed into jeans, a t-shirt, and boots. I tried hard not to think about my neighbor who I got along famously with. Our morning runs were basically long, drawn out talks.
As I looked into my floor-length mirror and did one more hair and makeup check, I thought maybe I should give up on the whole Ryan thing. Who cared that he made me laugh and that we both loved spicy food? Or that we both saw the genius in John Hughes movies? Not to mention that I was completely in love with his kid and I loved how he loved his son. Who cared that when he touched me I felt connected in a way that I never had before? I cared, that’s who. These were not good thoughts to be having when a different man was on his way to pick me up.