#MNGirl (Midwest Boys Series Book 1)

by A. M. Brooks

  “Dad was hidden?” Mila asks, pushing herself into a sitting position.

  “He was.” Mom nods. “He was being ordered to take over his family business, and until then, he had been okay with that. Then one day, he saw what they were doing to make money. Trafficking young girls. Some of them were younger than you, Mi. So he told the authorities, and they instantly contacted Matt’s dad, who was head of Rogue at the time. Your dad’s biological family was dangerous back then: a large criminal family with strong ties to the mafia. They had their own people inside the government, law enforcement, everywhere. No one could be trusted, so he was given a spot in Rogue. He lived in my house; we grew close and became friends. Jason was jealous and going through a tough time at his own home. He started drinking more at parties and not really caring if he spent time with me or Matt. Then he cheated. When Jason told me he was going to marry Stacy, I fell apart. I was depressed and hurt. I didn’t lose the man I loved to another woman but to a baby. How do you stay angry at an innocent baby? Your dad wanted to go to New York for college, and I decided to go with him. Along the way, we developed deeper feelings for each other, and before I knew it, I was pregnant with you, Say. And the rest is history.” Her shoulders lift, and she offers us a small smile.

  My head continues spinning with all the new information and things from my past that make sense now but didn’t before. “Matt said that dad accepted money from his old family, is that why he bailed and disappeared?”

  My mom’s hand pauses in my hair, before she continues stroking. I knew the topic would be painful for her. “We believe so, yes. Your dad’s family is very wealthy. Despite the crime, your dad is accustomed to that lifestyle. Having to be here, where everyone wore Wranglers and boots or Converse, rather than designer brand, was something he couldn’t handle. We had to work in college to save money in order to have things. He wanted everything to just come to him, without having to put in the work for it.”

  “Did you love him?” Mila’s young voice asks.

  “I did. I wanted a family, and he gave me you two. I will always love him for that,” she responds, but I hear the deeper meaning in her words. She loved my dad, but she wasn’t in love with him, not like with Jason. If they had stayed together, Jason could have been my dad. It’s a weird feeling and thought to have, considering all Silas has ever done is belittle his own father and tear him down.

  Mila and I both take the night to process the revelations my mom made today. Matt drops dinner off for us in my room, and we spend the evening retelling old stories and painting each other’s fingers and toes. My heart is full for the first time since we said goodbye outside that motel, six months ago. I don’t miss the texts Ciaran sends. I choose to ignore him. For now, I just want to put him in a box and shove it deep into the closet, where I’m keeping all my other skeletons that I know I’ll have to deal with someday.

  We get another full week together, before Matt announces that they have a new location. Matt, Jason and my mom have been working diligently to figure out who is behind the attack, so we can live normally. They have a plan in place that they think shouldn’t take more than a few more months. Mom and Mila are leaving tomorrow. They wanted to be here for the talent show tonight, though. Ciaran, Kai and Silas are always around, and I go out my way to ignore them. Part of me isn’t ready to open the box and the other part of me just feels plain vindictive. They deserve a taste of their own medicine. It doesn’t escape my notice that Matt is treating them harsher as well, and I wonder if he’s doing that for my benefit. I have a feeling my mom, Matt and Jason have all shared what’s been going on here for the past few months. My cheeks color, just thinking about it.

  “I’m happy you’ll be here for the talent show,” I tell Mila, while she curls my hair, before I leave for school. Now that Matt has lifted the quarantine, since we aren’t in immediate danger, I’ve been insisting I go back daily. The show is tonight, and I’ve been a ball of nerves all week.

  “Which song are you singing?” Mila asks.

  I smile and shrug. “You know me, Mi, probably won’t decide till the day of. It’s got to hit me just right, ya know? I like when songs speak to my soul.”

  “You’re so weird.” She rolls her eyes at me, and we laugh. I missed my sister. I’m happy to see she’s been well and that she looks healthy. She no longer has the haunted look in her eyes that she did our last day in that motel room. She’s thirteen going on seventeen and beautiful.

  Another text pops up on my phone, and I swipe it away with the others. I’ve been ignoring him. I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I start to hum while Mila continues adding curls around my head, when the perfect song clicks. “I need a guitar,” I whisper to myself, before picking up my phone and shooting a text to Kai.

  Ariel: Since you owe me for being a douche, can you play guitar?

  Kai: I will play anything you tell me.

  His answer is quick, and I smirk. I quickly shoot back my song choice and a guitar version I found online, along with instructions that I want to sing a slower version. Kai texts back immediately that he will have it learned.

  A few hours later, I wait in the wings of the school auditorium for the performances before me to be over. Everyone is in the crowd. My family, my new friends, the whole school and even Silas. I rub my hands down my destroyed jeans. I chose a country vibe for tonight, pairing the jeans with my white button up top and a black leather jacket. It’s comfortable, and for once, I feel like myself. I pace back and forth, lost in my own thoughts, when a hand snatches my wrist and starts pulling me out the back doors.

  “What the hell, Ciaran?” I yank my arm, but it’s no use. His grip is steely. “You keep ignoring me,” he accuses, yanking me around and shoving my back to the brick wall of the building.

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” I tell him and try to step around him, only to have him crowd my space further.

  “You could give me a chance to explain.” He grips my chin between his fingers. Tears rise to the surface of my eyes, and I will myself not to cry.

  “Nothing you say can change what you guys put me through.” My voice comes out gravelly and low. His face turns harder, that jaw of his locking up. “You made me miserable for months. I was ignored and bullied; you tore me down as a person. Ridiculed me for wanting to be me, like I was this horrible person. I took everything you gave me to heart, really thinking it was because of my dad and what he did. I lost things that night, too, but I didn’t think I could feel that pain because your friend lost more. You hate me, but you don’t know me. You’re blaming me for events I had no control over. My world is destroyed, but you’re breaking my heart.”

  Tears fall freely from my eyes and cascade down my cheeks. Ciaran dips his head down with a growl and licks them away. My body betrays me and leans against him. The truth is I want him to take my pain away. I want to move on, but I don’t know how to do that.

  “Don’t,” I whisper, my hands fisting in the fabric of his jacket.

  “I can’t walk away from you, Say. I know things are fucked between us right now, but I’ll talk to you until I’m blue in the face if that’s what you want. Just don’t ask me to stay away from you. I don’t hate you,” he tells me fiercely, before his lips attack mine. His body grinds into my chest, shoving me back and farther up the wall. His hands roam and tug at the different articles of clothing, trying his hardest to get to as much of my skin as possible. I feel his fingers at the button of my jeans before they give way and are pushed down by his hand. His fingers shove between my legs and push my panties to the side. His thumb swirls around my clit, and everything clenches. Ciaran drops to his knees and tugs one of my legs out of my jeans, before throwing my leg over his shoulder and opening me wider for him. His mouth dives in, licking between my legs, until my fingers are twisted in his hair, and I grind shamelessly against his face, riding the pleasure he’s hell-bent on giving me. His teeth graze around the sensitive nub and that’s all it takes for the wave of my orgasm to cr
est and crash through me. It’s powerful. The physical experience of it robs the air from my lungs, and my legs threaten to give out.

  Ciaran doesn’t rise until my hips stop moving against him. He helps me put my booted foot back into my jeans and shimmies them back over my legs. He comes back to my mouth and bruises my lips with another kiss, running his lips all along my mouth and thrusting his tongue, so I’m forced to taste myself on him. It’s a dirty kiss that I can’t get enough of.

  He pulls back when we’re both breathing hard. “I need to go back in,” I tell him. In my post orgasmic moment, all the reasons I’m still mad at him come rushing back.

  “When can we actually talk? I need to talk to you, Say. I can’t take the distance anymore.” His forehead rests against mine, his hands resting on the wall on both sides of my head. I’m caged in, surrounded by Ciaran, enveloped by his warmth.

  “I want to spend time with my mom and Mila before they leave,” I tell him.

  “Okay, so after?” He pushes again.

  “Yes,” I concede, my heart throbbing painfully.

  “Go sing, Baby.” He kisses me again, before disappearing around the corner.

  I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. My face is flushed, and my hair is sticking to the wall I’m leaning against. Running my hands over the strands, I rush back inside, right as Kai takes out his guitar. “There you are, I couldn’t find you, but we’re next.”

  “Okay.” I nod. The butterflies from earlier are gone and replaced with the knowledge that Ciaran is going to be out there. I honestly didn’t expect him to come. My song choice suddenly feels too personal.

  “We’re up,” Kai calls to me. Cheers erupt from the crowd when he steps on the stage, echoed by whistles and chants once I join him. Right away, I find my mom and Mila in the crowd. They’re standing and waving their arms in the air, cheering me on. My stomach settles instantly. I feel Ciaran’s fiery gaze and the sharp tingle between my legs flares to life again. I don’t search him out, though.

  Taking a seat on the stool next to Kai, I scoot the microphone closer. The audience dies down. Kai looks at me, and I nod for him to start. I put my heart and soul into singing Elise Lieberth’s version of “Holding Out For A Hero,” holding nothing back. Kai’s eyebrows rise, and he grins when I hit all the notes with perfect precision. I love singing, and I’ve been blessed with the ability to carry a note. I don’t flaunt it. I appreciate music, and all the gifts it has to offer.

  When the last note from Kai’s guitar strum dies out, the auditorium erupts in cheers. Kai takes my hand and pulls us down into a bow. I flash a smile, and we walk off the stage. Once we’re in the back, Kai lifts me off my feet and twirls me in a circle.

  “Holy fuck, Gossip Girl!” He laughs. “I had no idea you could hit notes like that.”

  I shrug. “It’s not something I do often.”

  “You should.” He smirks. “I honestly had no idea how this whole thing was going to go. I was thinking, even if you sucked, at least I played and then we’d be one step closer to burying the hatchet.”

  I laugh. “I’ll consider us even for now,” I tell him. We don’t stay too long at the school, anxious to get back to Matt’s house. My mom and Mila only stayed long enough to see me then left right after. Matt reminds us I’m supposed to be parentless, and it would be weird if I, all of a sudden, had a mom show up. We make it work just for the night, and I’ve never felt more grateful.

  I spend one more night sharing my bed with Mila, snuggling like old times. They both are leaving again tomorrow. My chest feels heavy with emotion. Our reunion was too quick. Knowing it could be months before I see them again, doesn’t bring me comfort. I want more than anything to go back to normal. My mom plays with our hair until we fall asleep. She hasn’t been staying in the room with us, and I don’t even want to think about what that could mean. The realization that everything is going to change is starting to sneak past my defenses.

  “Wake up, sleepyheads,” she calls to us, planting a kiss on my cheek.

  “What time is it?” I roll over asking. My shades are already drawn aside, and the sun is shining. For the middle of March, the weather has been warmer, and some of the snow is already melting.

  “Nine,” my mom calls cheerfully, and Mila groans next to me. I laugh.

  “I want to talk to you both about something quick,” she says. We both sit up, watching her closely. Her eyes sparkle, and her skin is glowing.

  “Ew.” I laugh. “Are you with Jason?”

  “Saylor!” She jokingly hits my shoulder. Mila and I fall into each other laughing. My mom’s face blooms red. She looks younger, the years of strain are finally disappearing.

  “I mean,” she pauses and looks down, biting her lip, “We may try dating again when all this is over.”

  “That’s great, Mom,” Mila answers right away, taking her hand in mine.

  “Yeah, Mom,” I tell her. “You deserve to be happy.”

  She sighs in relief. “I was worried how you would take it. Things are just crazy right now. The heart can be demanding, though. True love doesn’t fade.”

  I nod and have to look away. Her words hit truer than she knows.

  “Okay, hurry and get ready. We’re having breakfast before our ride gets here,” she calls over her shoulder, before leaving my room.

  “Are you really okay with that?” Mila asks, her little brow is raised quizzically.

  “I don’t really want to start having family dinners with Silas,” I tell her honestly. “I also want her to be happy again, though.”

  “Me too.” Mila nods thoughtfully.

  I help her get ready and make sure all her stuff is packed before we head downstairs. Everyone is already at the table when we get there. We eat and laugh. My mom and Jason are sickeningly affectionate. I catch Silas watching them at times, too. I want to know where he stands on all this. Mom shared with me that he and Jason had a really tough and honest conversation and that they are going to work on their relationship. He doesn’t appear to be shooting daggers at her head, so I guess, for now, he’s okay with it.

  After breakfast, we clean up, and everyone starts a round of goodbyes. My stomach twists painfully, having to do this again. I just got them back, and it feels like I’m losing them all over again. My eyes take in my mom’s face, memorizing it. I can’t explain where it comes from, but I, suddenly, want to just stare at her like it’s the last time. When Mila wraps her arms around me, I grip her tightly and breathe her in. “I love you,” I tell her, that same sense of fear crawls over my skin.

  She pulls back and pokes my cheek with her index finger. “It’s not forever,” she repeats the same thing I told her last time in the motel bathroom. Tears sting my eyes at the memory.

  I’m swept into my mom’s embrace next. I mold myself to her, soaking in her strength and love. My arms tighten reflexively. It’s on my tongue to beg her to stay and not leave. I don’t want to be without her. “I love you so much, Saylor,” she whispers into my ear. “You are the greatest gift I never knew I wanted. I dreamt about you my whole life.”

  “Mom,” I choke, while she rocks me slightly. I don’t want to breakdown and cry in front of our audience. I grip her tighter, scared, a sense of foreboding trickling in my veins.

  “It will all be okay, Love,” she tells me, pulling back. “We’ll be back together soon.” I’m sure she assumes I’m just sad to see her leave again and maybe that is what’s wrong with me. I’m desperate to have my family together again.

  I nod, too scared to speak, in case the dam of tears breaks. I watch as they slide into the car with another Rogue member. I don’t move while they drive down the street or even once they’re out of sight. I don’t know how long I stand on the porch, before I feel a presence next to me.

  “Hey.” Silas clears his throat and shoots me a side look.

  I’m instantly on alert and hyperaware. “What do you want?”

  He sighs. “I’m sorry. I was an ass, and
you didn’t deserve it.”

  My gaze flicks to his face, looking for signs of a set up or the usual moody expression he wears. He just looks tired, though. “You talked with your dad?’”

  He turns his gaze back to the street. “Yeah. Looks like we might be siblings someday.” He attempts a joke and actually chuckles at the freaked out look on my face.

  We stand in silence for a few more moments, before he speaks again, “You should forgive Ci. He was being a loyal friend. We both should have worked harder to understand what was going on. That was on me.”

  “You didn’t make Ciaran do the things he did or say what he said,” I scoff.

  “I think you know more than anyone else how important your closest friendships are, and you’d do anything for them, right… #MNGirl?” he asks.

  I turn to give him a piece of my mind, but he’s already at the door. A shit-eating grin on his face. “Later, Sis,” he calls, and I flip him off in response.

  I hate that, of all people, Silas is the one to make the biggest point. I would do anything for Oaklynn and her for me. Those are the kind of friends you keep and you hold onto. It’s why I haven’t been able to give up the #MNGirl account.

  I sense him before he touches me. His chest brushes against my back. My eyes slam shut. My traitorous heart beats to life when he’s near. It’s unfair in an almost beautifully tragic way. Enemies to lovers usually is.

  “Talk?”

  Ciaran

  I keep my eyes on Saylor across the room. She still insists on eating lunch away from me, just to piss me off. She says it’s to not draw attention, but I call bullshit. Everyone already knows she’s mine anyway. Saylor is still scared. I’ve tried multiple times to talk to her about everything. Anytime I think we make progress, we make a turn, and then keep going in circles. So we sit apart at lunch.

  “You need to tone it down a bit, Dude,” Kai jokes next to me. These jackasses have already been cleared for their crimes, and I’m still in isolation.