Orc Glitch- The Mad King

by KJ Harlow

  Flulia had almost sunk into the horizon; there were two, maybe three moonshifts left before the blue moon would disappear and a new cycle would begin. She dredged up a thick, misty drizzle for the two travellers as a parting gift. Cal closed his eyes, feeling the droplets beading on his face. The excessive orc stench dripped off his body.

  “Cal.”

  “Mm?”

  This time, Kai had stopped walking while Cal kept walking. He thudded into something hard and muscular, lost his balance and fell over. The bridge shuddered, unprepared for the sudden impact. An orc, similar in size to Lars stood over him. Mist beaded on the razor sharp blade of the axe that he had hefted over his right shoulder.

  “Who are you and where are you going with my loot?”

  12

  ‘Orc’ vs. Orc

  20,155th Cycle

  27-Flulia

  “I am Callahan, Captain of the Rawdriad Loot Hoarders.”

  Where the hell had that come from? He got to his feet, not taking his eyes off the orc in front of him.

  Out of nowhere, Laish’s cool, measured voice filtered into Cal’s memory.

  Orc Captains can speak Common Tongue.

  The large orc narrowed his eyes. “Rawdriad? There is no horde in Rawdriad.”

  Holy crap, this guy was a Captain. Maybe he was the leader of this horde. His yellowing tusks extended and curved up forward, almost reaching his dark eyes. A shock of scraggily, dark green hair hung limply off his head. He had faded gold piercings on his nose, three on his left ear and five on his right. He swung his axe down, thudding it into his other hand.

  “And you are?” Cal tried to make himself sound as authoritative as possible.

  The larger orc glared at him. After the longest time, he grunted. “Crusk.” Should he shake his hand?

  He brought up the orc’s details:

  NAME: Crusk

  CLASS: Orc Captain

  LVL: 39

  HP: 478/478

  MP: 356/356

  This was bad. Even adding together their levels together, Kai and Cal were still a fraction of Crusk.

  “You didn’t tell me where you were going with my loot.” His eyes flickered up to the Kai, standing defiantly behind and a little to Cal’s right. “And why do you have one of those Wwerecat scum with you?”

  “Down boy!” Cal threw his arm out just as Kai started forward. Kai turned to Cal, trembling with rage. “I picked him up on my way through the forest. He was wandering around, challenged me to a duel and lost. So he’s now my pet.”

  I’m sorry, please, don’t do anything stupid. Cal’s gazed up nonchalantly at Crusk, trying to low-key restrain the fuming werejaguar. Crusk cocked his head slightly, appraising Kai. He seemed to have momentarily forgotten his first question.

  “Why are you so far from the forest? And where is your horde?” Crusk demanded.

  “Why all the questions?” Cal retorted. The drizzle that had swept through before had now left. He could smell his orc body odor get stronger and stronger. He thought that the orcs from before were strong. If they came back now, there was no way that he would be escaping. And Kai. As annoying as he was, he couldn’t just let him get slaughtered.

  Crusk furrowed his brow, turning his axe in his hand. “You seem to be forgetting that I’m bigger than you, Cal.” Crusk minced up Cal’s name like a meat grinder.

  “CRUSK!” A few of the orcs from before stood at the edge of the plateau. They avoiding stepping onto the bridge, as if they were dogs trained not to set foot into their master’s house. “WARRAMYOW, ORRRK ZAKAZAK!”

  Shit, their cover had been blown. “If you’ll excuse me…” Cal made to step around Crusk. The air rung as his axe swung down like a guillotine, inches away from Cal’s tusks. His startled reflection in the polished metal stared back at him.

  “You’re not going anywhere.”

  “H-hey don’t rip it!” Cal yelled.

  Crusk had confiscated Kai and Cal’s weapons, as well as the Adventurer’s Satchel. Having risen from his slumber, Lars was standing a few yards away. He held the satchel daintily, as if it were a handkerchief. Pinching it between his enormous thumb and forefinger, he upended and shook it violently, but nothing fell out. Being a craft-woven item, it probably also had security measures embedded in that prevented anyone from stealing the bag and taking its contents.

  “Why don’t you speak orc to it, Orc?” Kai brooded in the corner of the makeshift cell. A couple of big orc guards stood by the only way in or out.

  “I don’t need advice from you, wise guy. You’re just lucky your attack didn’t kill that guy.”

  “I was giving him my spear as the captain requested. Not my fault that he got in the way of it.”

  Cal sighed, leaned against the wall and slid down. “How did he know that I had taken his loot?”

  Kai stood up, not wanting to be looking eye to eye with Cal. “What sort of orc are you? Everyone knows that orcs have a knack for smelling treasure. Once they have touched it, their scent rubs off on it.”

  Cal pursed his lips. If he had known that, he might have taken less. Cal sighed, hanging his head between his knees. “Look , I’m sorry–”

  “You don’t get to apologise. We need to get back Grandmother’s satchel and my spear and get out of here, preferably whole.”

  “ZZZZZZZZHHHHHHH.” The orc on the right expelled loudly and Cal and Kai stopped bickering. Cal stood up again, planted his hands on the window sill and stared out at Lars. He had lost interest in the satchel and had become distracted with some butterflies that were fluttering about. He swung his hammer at them, accidentally taking out the side of a building, the satchel scrunched up in his other hand.

  Cal closed his eyes. He flicked open his stats to help center himself:

  NAME: Callahan Rogers

  AGE: 29 (Earth)

  CLASS: Orc Fighter

  LVL: 14

  HP: 175/175

  MP: 232/232

  AFF: Earth (x27)

  STR: 29+2%

  DEF: 30+1%

  AGL: 29+3%

  INT: 33+1%

  ABILITY: Examine, Verdant Whisper

  SKILL:

  Earth Wall – Level 5 – Next Level in 91%

  Earthquake – Level 3 – Next Level in 27%

  WEAPON: Axe – Level D – Next Level in 88%

  x27? He looked to the east. Cal couldn’t see the earth moon completely, but he could feel her presence in the soil. She would be bearing down on Flulia right now, trying to hurry the water moon to the back of the queue so she had her time to shine. Cal absent-mindedly raised a mini Earth Wall one inch high and a foot across and wide in front of him. Crusk hadn’t taken away the gloves for some reason, though he wasn’t complaining.

  “So? What’s the plan?”

  The tiny earth platform crumbled. “I can’t think with you bitching all the time.”

  A shadow lumbered to the entrance and the two orc guards stepped aside. “Where have you put my loot?” Crusk rumbled.

  Cal looked up at the large orc. He didn’t know what his underlings had said to out him, but it was safe to say that he couldn’t pretend anymore.

  “If you let me and my pet go, I’ll show you where I hid the loot.”

  Crusk lunged in and grabbed Cal by the collar of his rubberoak armour. “You don’t get to bargain!” He yelled in his face, spittle bouncing around in his mouth. Cal shut his eyes and held his breath. He gagged and dry retched, causing Crusk to drop him to the ground in disgust.

  “MARMZOA!” Crusk bellowed. Lars ambled from where he had been playing with butterflies and stood behind his captain. “KABARN.” Crusk pointed at the satchel Lars clasped in his hand. Lars tried to hide it behind his back, as if it were a teddy bear. Moving with frightening speed, Crusk cracked Lars on the cheek with a backhand fist, sending him sprawling. The legs of the watch tower cushioned his fall before they snapped under his weight. Crusk strode over and pulled the satchel out of Lars’ fist. He made his way back to Cal, fl
inging the satchel at his feet.

  “Give me back my loot.”

  For a moment, Cal considered telling him that part of it was his, but after witnessing the force at which he crunched his comrade in the face, he bit his tongue.

  Kai snarled quietly, watching the satchel glow faintly as Cal reached his hand inside. All that leading the orcs on a wild werejaguar chase for nothing.

  Cal first pulled out a fistful of shards. He held it out to Crusk, dropping it into his open hand. Cal kept pulling out handful after handful until the shard wallet inside the satchel had been emptied. With shards falling out of his overflowing, cupped hands, Crusk dropped them all onto a worn, wooden table he had taken out of one of the houses.

  “There’s more.”

  Cal sighed. He reached in, pulling out the Noble Sword of Alacrity, Healing Staff and Mana Potions. Crusk took them all, digging the staff and sword into the dirt and standing the potions up with the shards.

  “That’s everything.”

  Crusk drove his shoulder into Cal. He flew 20 feet and slammed into the side of a house. Cal coughed, dark-green blood marring the grass.

  -47 Damage!

  Crusk ran over to Cal with the speed of a bus, his basketball-sized fist raised. Cal pulled the gloves off, throwing them into the ground.

  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, take them. That’s everything.”

  Crusk’s fist hung precariously in the air. He swung it down, but only to pick up the Craft Gloves. Cal groaned and rolled onto his back. The earth beneath cradled his body, trying to repair the damage the orc captain had done.

  “Cal.” The werejaguar ran over and stood a few feet away from him. He hovered indecisively.

  “Let’s go,” he said, head back towards the apothecary. The other dozen real orcs leered and jeered at Cal and Kai. Cal couldn’t help but eye the loot he had surrendered, resting on the table.

  “Crusk,” he said, walking up to the captain. “Give us back our weapons.”

  “That was never part of the deal.”

  Cal clenched his fist. He wanted nothing more than to punch Crusk in his oversized balls right now. He’d get his head smashed in and he and Kai would respawn at their last check point, outside the village. The only problem was that that wouldn’t get them any closer to Thaylia.

  “OK, OK. Out of the goodness of my heart, I will give you back your weapons and let you go.” He laughed and his stupid horde, not understanding a word of what he said, guffawed along. He grunted, commanding Franklin to bring the weapons. He saluted and scurried away. Shortly, he arrived, carrying Cal’s axes in one hand and Kai’s spear in the other. Kai snatched it back, not bothering to hide his attempts to clean the spear where Franklin had touched it.

  Holstering their weapons, the two travellers began to make their way out of Gresshia. “What’s the hurry, captain?” Crusk mocked.

  “Go!” Cal said. He and Kai broke off into a run. The ground shook and seconds later, Crusk had rushed passed Cal, twisting in midair and grounding himself by digging his hands into the dirt. Damn this bastard was fast for a mutated warthog.

  “I’ll let you go after my boys have had a chance to play.”

  Cal and Kai stood in the middle of the ring of leery orcs. From one end to the other was 20 yards across. They brandished their weapons, their hoots and grunts a cacophony that seemed to make Sibelle turn a shade of green-brown.

  “Examine,” Cal said.

  NAME: ?????

  CLASS: Orc Grunt

  LVL: 25

  HP: 277/277

  MP: 141/141

  This was the first orc – Cal decided that he would be called Terrence – that had gotten his filthy mitts all over Cal’s treasure. He stood at the other side of the ring, shifting his weight between his feet. A dull axe with a large, crescent moon blade was in his hand.

  “It’s not often that we can fight other orc captains.” Crusk said from the edge of the ring. He was sitting on the fallen watch tower, sipping on a mana potion as if it were a strawberry milkshake. “Remember now, you represent the Rawdriad Loot Hoarders, make them proud!” He pulled out a bugle dangling from his waist and blew. The dull sound sullied the air, echoing erratically amongst the mountain peaks.

  Terrence charged at Cal and Kai, axe raised. He swung it in a wide, horizontal arc; Cal and Kai had to split up just to avoid it.

  “Remember what we said!” Cal yelled across the ring to the werejaguar.

  Kai grunted, keeping his eyes on Terrence. They wouldn’t attack him. They would just keep circling, avoiding and dodging his blows. Once he got too tired – which he would eventually – they would strike a finishing blow. Cal wanted to avoid showing his Earth Craft unless he had to, especially to these orcs.

  Kai and Cal stuck to their plan. A few times, they were forced to engage with Terrence, parrying or blocking his attacks. His initial swagger was faltering, his frustration bleeding out of the cracks. His wild swings became more and more laboured, his steps not as nimble. The orcs around the ring stopped cheering, grumbling instead at the slow going strategy.

  “YAGAR! TORA SEZ WARAG!” Crusk commanded. The battle paused. Terrence, puffed for a moment, before subbing himself out and swapping with a fresh Orc.

  NAME: ?????

  CLASS: Orc Grunt

  LVL: 28

  HP: 310/310

  MP: 180/180

  “Hey, no tag teaming!” Cal protested, pointing at the new grunt.

  Crusk shrugged, sipping at his mana potion.

  The new challenger – Phoebe – was faster than Terrence. She attacked with greater ferocity. Several times, Cal was tempted to throw up an Earth Wall. He managed to roll or dodge the attack, but only just.

  Damn it, this wasn’t going to work. As if reading his mind, Kai made his move. His fire spear came alight, temporarily silencing the horde.

  Phoebe spun around, looking at the werejaguar. She seemed slightly taken aback by the powered up weapon but spurred on by her comrades, she charged at him. She leaned back, about to launch herself into another slicing arc when Kai thwacked his flaming spear onto her head. She pulled out of her attack, stumbling towards Kai. He stepped out of the way, watching Phoebe tumble into the arms of an orc. He pushed her back up, slapping her across the face before pushing her back into the ring.

  Phoebe shook the confusion away, refocusing his attention on Cal. She charged at him, her axe now raised above her head. Cal easily dodged her attack, aiming a hack at her ribs as he zipped past. Cal stood with Kai, watching the Orc clutching her side, down on one knee, her back towards them.

  Kai ran at Phoebe, jumping into the air. He thrust his spear into the Orc’s fleshy lower back, where the liver would have been if she were human. Phoebe howled as the spear penetrated her skin. It only made it in about an inch, despite the force Kai used.

  She stood up and swung around, axe whistling through the air. Kai, released his weapon just as the sharpened metal zinged past, clipping off part of his chest fur. She clasped the spear with her other hand and yanked it out, throwing it to the ground. Cal picked it up and tossed it back to Kai.

  “Launch her, Cal!” Kai yelled. “Use Earth Wall, get her as high as you can. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Cal saw Crusk get off the watch tower. The empty mana bottle smashed into a thousand pieces as he flung it full force into the ground.

  “Come on!” Kai yelled. He pulled away from Cal, standing on the edge of the ring. Phoebe got to her feet again, stumbling slightly. Secret’s out. No point hiding it anymore; Kai did just blurt the name of his signature move. Cal closed his eyes for one second. An individual grain of dirt was virtually invisible. Packed together, it could form a road. It could become impossibly hard. It could reach for the sky and punch through the clouds.

  Show time.

  He visualised a circular platform five feet in diameter slightly in front of Phoebe. When her foot touched it, Cal shifted it a few inches. Taken completely off surprise, P
hoebe fell face first into the ground. Some of the orcs laughed at their comrade’s misfortune. They ain’t see nothin’ yet.

  Cal opened up both hands and placed them side by side, palms down, at knee height. He took a deep breath. “Earth Wall!”

  Maintaining the shape, he dragged his hands straight up. The platform of dirt grew from a fraction of an inch in height to 1,000 feet in height in the space of 10 seconds. Cal smirked; Phoebe would have been flattened by the G-force. Maybe her bones would have all cracked from the pressure?

  “What?” Crusk said, pushing into the circle.

  Cal dropped his hands, turned around and leaned on the giant pillar of dirt. It was killing his mana, but the look on Crusk’s face was worth it.

  “How did you do that?” Crusk demanded. “What are you?”

  Cal stepped away from the pillar. “I’m an orc.” He slammed an open palm into Earth Wall. It shattered and crumbled, dirt raining down. Phoebe seemed to fall for a long time. When she landed, Kai was right underneath her, his spear pointed straight up. The werejaguar jumped out of the way, split seconds before Phoebe slammed into the ground right through Kai’s weapon. She didn’t thrash, flail or struggle. If the impact of slamming into the ground from that altitude didn’t kill her, Kai’s lance through her heart did.

  Critical Hit!

  -580 Damage!

  “Enough!” Crusk roared. His horde shrunk away. The orc captain strode into the ring towards Cal. He picked him up by his collar, hoisting him six feet into the air. Cal hadn’t been this close to death since the last time he had been at Gresshia. But somehow, as he stared at the orc captain’s frothing mouth and eyes trembling with rage, he felt calm. It could have been hubris from just killing an enemy several levels higher than he was, or it could have been Sibelle piling on the earth power into him.

  “You, me, battle, now!” He yelled, right into Cal’s face. Cal didn’t flinch; seemed like when they got angry enough the intelligence of orcs became impaired, if his sudden degradation of Common Tongue was any clue. Cal turned and glanced at Kai. He was standing on top of Phoebe, yanking his spear free from her chest cavity. With a look of disgust on his face, he wiped the blood onto her clothes, though this might have actually made it dirtier.