by Emma Ashwood
As she let herself in to the small house she heard the baby giving a lusty wail and smiled.
‘There’s certainly nothing wrong with his lungs,’ she said to Pete who was preparing a warm drink on the stove. He looked flustered.
‘I’ve brought Ellie some bone broth; it’s been stewing all night. I remember my mother saying it’s the best thing for getting the nutrients back into a woman’s body; it will help her milk too. Pete nodded, though he clearly had no idea what she was talking about, but he looked relieved to have Tally here.
‘How is she?’ Tally tipped her head towards the bedroom door as she took off her shawl.
Pete sighed. ‘Quiet. She said she’s in no pain, or not any more than you would expect anyway, and the baby’s feeding well, but she seems not herself, Miss. She wasn’t even interested in naming him. I suggested John after my own father and she sort of went ‘yes that will do,’ but didn’t seem to care one way or the other. Is that normal?’
‘I’m sure it is,’ Tally reassured him, although she felt as worried as he was.
Ellie’s face brightened somewhat when she saw Tally, and Tally couldn’t help but notice how eagerly she pushed the baby – John now – into Tally’s arms. She sipped at the broth thankfully.
‘That’s lovely. I’ve been so cold.’
‘Do you think we should fetch Mags?’ Tally asked. Her knowledge was fast running out and Pete was right, though Ellie looked well enough she wasn’t herself. But then, who would be? The baby had come so fast, and beautiful as he was, had brought with him what could be a whole heap of trouble. Tally turned to look at Pete who was standing in the doorway.
‘We have to tell Jacob. I thought perhaps you and I could do it this afternoon? Before dinner?’
Pete nodded, sighing heavily, his whole body seeming to deflate, and Tally felt the weight of the burden he was carrying.
Ellie looked animated for the first time since the birth, her eyes wide and panicked. ‘What if he throws us out? How will I look after him?’ Seeing the fright in her face and the obvious concern for her baby, Tally realized that the disinterest Ellie was displaying towards the baby was likely down to fear of what would happen to him. She felt her insides clench with fear for this small family who had so quickly found their way into her heart.
‘I’ll talk to him. John is going to be fine, Ellie, I promise you,’ she said firmly. She passed John back to Ellie, who this time clutched him to her.
‘I’m going to fetch you some spare sheets and blankets; there’s plenty in a chest in the ranch. I doubt Jacob even knew they were there,’ she said, glad to be useful. As she left after kissing both Ellie and John, they watched her go. Pete met Ellie’s eyes.
‘She’s so lovely, isn’t she?’ Ellie sighed. ‘And she loves John, you can tell.’
‘Yes, lass,’ Pete said quietly, ‘I believe she does.’
Ellie looked frightened again. ‘Pa,’ she whispered, ‘What are we going to do?’
Pete didn’t answer her.
A desperate plan was forming in his mind.
Her arms now full of sheets and blankets rescued from the old chest, a bit musty but plenty of use left in them, Tally knocked on the door, not wanting to just keep intruding. There was no noise from inside the house, so she pushed the door open with her hip.
No-one seemed to be inside the room and Tally guessed Pete had gone out on the ranch, trying to make things look as normal as possible. She walked quietly over to Ellie’s room and popped her head around the slightly open door, expecting to find Ellie and the baby both asleep.
The room was empty.
Tally put the sheets down on the small bed and tried to swallow down the sudden panic that rose in her. Perhaps she had gone for a walk? To get some fresh air? But even as she thought it she knew that was wrong. Ellie needed rest and besides, she wouldn’t have risked being seen.
They were gone. They had left the ranch, rather than stay to be kicked out; Tally knew it with a certainty that dropped into her stomach like a stone. Her heart ached at the thought of never seeing them or John again. And where would they go? Who would take them in?
Then Tally heard an unmistakable snuffling sound coming from the other side of the bed. She leaned over and saw John, carefully wrapped in a thick blanket and lying in a wooden drawer placed on the floor so as he couldn’t fall of the bed, no doubt. But why would Ellie leave him alone? Tally wondered for a horrible moment if the girl was going to do herself a mischief, if she had been driven to despair by her circumstances. She had heard of that happening. But as she picked up the baby and placed him on her chest she saw the piece of paper pinned to his blanket. With hands shaking, Tally laid John across her lap and opened the letter.
Miss Tally, it read in Pete’s messy scrawl, forgive me I beg you, but I see no other choice. Jacob is growing more and more unreasonable by the day and I fear even your warm heart won’t melt him. I fear he will throw us all out, and what future will poor Ellie and John have then? I have relatives I can try my luck with, but I know they’ll never let Ellie stay with the baby, so the best thing I could think of to do was to take Ellie there and leave John with you. We saw how you cared for him and know that will look after him better than we can. Perhaps this way Jacob will be more lenient. We thank you for your kindness and pray you will forgive us. I don’t know what else to do. Underneath, in a childish scrawl that must have been Ellie’s, she had written, Please look after him. Keep him safe.
Tally clutched John to her, breathing in his sweet newborn smell, and felt as if her heart would break. For Ellie having to leave her child, and for Pete, who felt he had no choice. For John, who had no-one now except her.
And what would Jacob say? Tally looked down into the newborn’s sweet sleeping face and steeled her resolve. Jacob could say whatever he wanted, but she would protect this child even if it meant going home with him in disgrace.
Pete sat at the tiny wooden bench that made up the station, drawing his knees up against the cold, and looked wearily into the distance. He was acutely aware of Ellie shivering beside him even though he had given her his coat as well as her shawl and a blanket, and he felt wretched. Ellie had seemed to go for his plan to leave John with Tally; to give him a chance that neither of them could, in fact she had seemed relieved even. Neither of them had any doubt that Tally would care for John as if he were her own, and even if Jacob was cruel enough to throw out his own wife, which Pete couldn’t fathom, she had people who sounded kind and would take the child in. Either way John had better chances of thriving with Tally than he did on the road with Pete and Ellie in a fierce winter.
Even so, Pete felt what he had done was wrong. After her initial relief, Ellie had lingered over leaving John, staring at him as if she would capture his image in her heart. Since leaving, she had retreated into the same state of listlessness she had displayed following the birth. Now she sat next to him, crumpled up and shivering like a rag doll, barely speaking except in monotone syllables. Pete began to worry he would lose his daughter as well as his grandson.
‘It will be alright, Ellie,’ he said gruffly, wishing he had the confidence of his words. Beside him Ellie was silent.
Jacob strode into the house, wondering what the hell was going on. Pete had once again vanished from the ranch, and when he had gone to his house to see him, wondering if in fact Ellie was more ill than he had realized, and he may need to go for the doctor – he had found nothing but an empty place with a dead fire in the hearth. Add to that the fact that Tally was nowhere to be seen; he was beginning to get the impression something was afoot that he needed to be aware of. And he wasn’t very happy about it. This was his ranch, dammit, and suddenly both his new wife and best worker were both acting strangely.
He felt relieved when he came across Tally in the main room, building a fire. He looked around at the large room; somewhat shabby now but still grander than a great deal of ranch houses, and wondered when last, he had actually sat in it. His usual routine was to
work all day, eat with the men, dinner and early to bed. He avoided anything that felt like family, like home. Out there in the fields and the barn, that was his home, not this too-big house that was full of ghosts.
Except now, it was full of Tally, and she was certainly flesh and blood. He took a moment to admire her tending to the fire. Then guilt set in and he coughed to let her know he was there. She straightened up in shock and looked at him, her face blazing red.
‘Oh, Jacob! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. I was just trying to keep the place a bit warmer, I wasn’t expecting you in yet; it’s not dinner for a while…’ she trailed off, looking flustered, and her eyes darted to a bundle of shawls on the couch which she rushed to pick up. Jacob raised an eyebrow at her.
‘Is everything alright? Have you seen Pete and Ellie? Neither of them is at home, and Pete hasn’t showed for work. Is she still ill?’ When Tally just gaped at him with a guilty flush growing over her cheeks, Jacob felt himself becoming angry. Did everyone think he was a fool? ‘Tally,’ he said sharply, ‘Just what is going on?’
Tally swallowed and held out the shawl in her arms. When it made a soft bleating noise, Jacob’s first thought was she was tending to some kind of animal, then Tally pushed down the blanket to reveal a baby’s face.
A baby. A newborn. Jacob felt shock and a sudden grief squeeze his heart and he stepped back, glaring at Tally. ‘What on earth?’
Tally looked nervous, but she stood straighter and her eyes flashed with defiance.
‘It’s Ellie’s baby, Jacob. She had him yesterday. They were scared to tell you.’
Jacob frowned, not quite understanding what she was telling him.
‘Ellie’s, but how?’ At Tally’s raised eyebrow he felt himself flush. ‘I mean..”
‘One of your ranch hands. Apparently, he told Ellie he was going to marry her, then disappeared when he found out she was pregnant. Joe someone?’
Jacob shook his head. How had he not seen this happening? He had wondered why the boy had just suddenly upped and left when he was doing so well; it had never occurred to him to suspect anything would be going on between him and Pete’s daughter. He had always thought of Ellie as a child.
He tried to compose himself, although he still felt angry. At himself for being so blind and Pete for not telling him. And Tally, how did she know when he didn’t?’
‘So, why have you got the baby? Where are they?’ An awful thought hit him. ‘Did Ellie get hurt, during the birth?’
Tally shook her head, ‘No, she seems fine, thankfully. But Jacob – they’ve left. They left the baby – John – with me to look after.’
Jacob stared at her, her words taking a few moments to sink in, then he found himself shaking his head and stepping back away from her and away from the baby. He felt the grief rising and swallowed it down, replacing it with anger. His hands balled to fists at his sides.
There was no way this was happening, he told himself. They had all gone mad.
CHAPTER TEN
Chapter 9
Jacob stared at the bundle in her arms, and Tally found herself drawing the boy to herself protectively.
'Has Pete gone mad?' Jacob said, his expression stunned and bordering on angry. 'You're not looking after this! '
Tally winced at the word this, it made John sound inhuman. She glared at Jacob. 'How can you be so heartless? He's a child, innocent.' She thought the same could easily be said of his mother.
Jacob walked over to the fire, warming his hands, and said without looking at her; 'Maybe, but he's not your child. If I can't find Pete, he'll have to go to the orphanage. There's one about thirty miles south, I heard.'
'No!' Ellie was shocked at the force of her voice and Jacob whipped his head around to look at her, as surprised as she was. He still looked furious, but Tally bit back her nerves, her protective instincts and sheer exasperation at this man winning out.
'You're not sending him away,' she said firmly, rocking little John in her arms as he began to stir, 'I won't allow it. You made me Mistress of this house; well I say he stays.' She drew her shoulders back and set her jaw, determined she would not be cowed. Jacob just gaped at her.
'You can't just be wandering around with a baby. We haven't had enough time to...pass it off as ours. And the townspeople will talk; our reputation will be ruined. It’s a mouth to feed we can't afford, as well.'
Tally felt her anger growing as she looked down at John's sweet face. She was barely aware of what she was about to say as she found herself shouting at him.
'Is that all you care about, Jacob? Your reputation and money? Are you truly that unfeeling, that uncaring? Maybe you are, and Pete's right; I'm wasting my time here hoping for you to ever change and be the man I was so sure you could really be. Well, if the baby's not welcome then neither am I. You either find Pete and Ellie and bring them both back here to stay with the baby, or I will take him back home and say he's mine and that you left me, and I don't care about my reputation or yours!'
Jacob flinched at her words, his eyes widening with shock at her suggestion. 'You can't do that,' his tone was kinder now, trying to placate her, she knew, 'And you might not care about your reputation, but your parents will. The boy will only suffer.'
'Then we both keep him and raise him,' Tally said, 'or you go and find Pete and Ellie and beg their forgiveness. Ellie's only a young girl after all, and if you offer her your protection it will shield her from some of the hurt.'
Jacob paced the room, his expression unreadable, a mixture of anger and worry, and again that sadness Tally sensed but couldn't name. She watched him, hoping some kindness would win out, but when he spoke his tone was cold again.
'It's just not possible, Tally. And I wonder why you think I should be asking Pete's forgiveness? He's the one that has kept this from me for months, lied to me, and now takes off in the night without a word. And you've been colluding with them?' He looked genuinely affronted, and Tally shook her head in despair at both his arrogance and ignorance.
'You're blaming Pete? A man who has been nothing but loyal to you in spite of the way you've treated him?'
'The way I've treated him?'
Tally shook her head. 'You really are that blind, aren't you? Yes; the way you have treated him; speaking to him like dirt and leaving him and Ellie cooped up in that tiny house. He knew you would throw them out if you found out about the baby; they did this not because I've been colluding with them but because they could obviously see no other way. You wonder why he didn't tell you when you're so hard and uncompassionate. Why, your first reaction was to send the poor child to an orphanage!'
John let out a little whimper as if he could understand every word and Tally lifted him onto her shoulder, where he buried his warm face in her neck. Tally felt hot tears spring to her eyes and she met Jacob with the full force of her gaze. Jacob, for the first time, looked ashamed, but Tally was all out of sympathy for him.
'This is your fault, Jacob. You drove them away with the way you are. Just like you've been trying to drive me away ever since I arrived.' A hot, angry tear escaped, and she wiped it away furiously with her free hand. Jacob looked horrified at the sight of her crying. He stared at her for a long moment, his face twisting as if he were wrestling with himself, then his whole body seemed to sag, and he sat on the stool near the fire, burying his head in his hands. For a long moment he sat like that and Tally simply stood and stared, her anger subsiding into misery as she thought of the bleak prospects now before her. When Jacob raised his head to look at her however, she was amazed to see he was barely holding back tears himself.
'You're right,' he said so quietly Tally had to strain to hear him. 'I've driven you all away.'
Hearing the anguish in his voice, Tally's heart softened. She went to him, kneeling at his feet, John still cradled to her chest. Jacob looked down at the baby and away as if the sight of him hurt his eyes. Tally saw the flash of raw grief in his eyes.
'What is it, Jacob?' she asked, her intuiti
on prickling. 'What happened to you?'
Jacob stared into the fire, and when he spoke he sounded very faraway, his voice scratchy and hoarse, as though it pained him to speak.