Sustaining: A Reverse Harem Series (To Tame a Shifter Book 4)

by A. K. Koonce

  Sinister guides the ship with ease, and I have to admit, the journey out to Isolde Island is a far less creepy in the daylight. Rays of the sun beam off the sea, casting it in a glinting image of white, and I hold my attention there as I think about Chaos’ question.

  “Well, the drop of someone she’ll love forever, that’s easy. The moment you need my blood, just say when, love.”

  Three dragon shifters narrow their eyes on the arrogant demon who only smiles mischievously back at them.

  “Blood. That seems…dark. Can’t I just have a drop of…something else?” My lip curls, but it only makes Sin smirk a little more.

  “Well, the only other drop of something you can have from me seems just slightly inappropriate, but I’m not going to tell you no.”

  “Blood it is.” I nod to him, and despite getting all our supplies sorted out, I’m still incredibly nervous.

  “What about the pain part?” Chaos asks.

  “A part of pain that I caused,” I whisper the words out, but they hold more weight than they did before. Because I understand them now.

  I open my palm, and there lies a small glass vial. A single drop of liquid is the only thing inside. I haven’t stopped holding and thinking about it since we sailed away from the shore.

  “It’s my mother’s teardrop.” The pressing guilt in my chest makes my words hard to say, but at least I’m one hundred percent certain about this one. This is most definitely the pain I caused.

  Kain pushes off from the spot he was leaning against, and his body surrounds mine in an instant. Big palms push down my arms so slowly he’s all I feel. The cold wind no longer exists, it seems. All that matters is the feel of his hands on my body. Slowly, his fingers wrap around that little vial, and he takes it from me and slips it away into his pocket without asking.

  It’s strange how much easier it is to manage the emotions building inside my chest when he takes that little symbol of guilt and carries it for me.

  It’s odd, but it does help.

  “I think this is about where she should be.” Sinister halts the ship, and I suddenly realize we’re staring out at the little island once again.

  The appearance of the trees and sand are no longer dark and ominous. Blooming colors splay all across the tropical land. It’s beautiful really. I can see why that mage picked here to live.

  “So, I’ll just go down, steal a fist full of mermaid hair, and we can get the fuck out of here.” Chaos nods, but he and I both know that’s not the plan.

  “I have to do it.”

  “No, no you don’t. You’re not going down there to be fish food, Tamer.” Rime doesn’t hold the gentle subtleness that Chaos does. He’s all hard edges and sharp tones, and it really does nothing whatsoever to make me want to side with him.

  “All of these things are things that I have done, therefore, I think I will have to be the one to collect them.”

  Rime’s cold gaze holds on me, and I can tell there’s a million and one things he’d love to say to me right now if he didn’t have his jaw tightly locked shut. On slow, predatory steps, he comes toward me. His long fingers brush against my neck until he’s cradling my head with the gentlest touch. His thumb skims across my lower lip, and I want to lean into him so badly, but the stubborn part of me won’t allow it. So I keep my distance and tilt my head up to the beautiful ice dragon. The way he watches his thumb against my lips makes me wonder if he’s mentally cursing my fucking mouth right now.

  “You’re infuriating when you’re determined, my Tamer.” His quiet words hum against my lips, but he never leans forward to close the space between us, he lets it build there until I physically need to feel his mouth on mine. “If you don’t resurface in two minutes, I’m coming down after you. You’ll have more than just reefs to worry about if I come into that ocean in search of you.” Just the faintest feel of his lips against mine feathers across my mouth, but he pulls back before I can even lean into him.

  Kain’s hand brushes over mine, his bright eyes held on me as he stares at me as if he’s forcing his own strength and determination into me with a single look. When I step closer to the edge, Chaos takes my hand, keeping my balance as I lift one leg over. Sinister’s at my side in an instant, and when he takes my other hand, I feel his powerful magic tingling between our fingertips, poised and ready. Carefully, I slide my other leg over the edge. For just a moment I sit there, staring down at the calm waters. Secretly, I know none of them will actually allow me to dive into the water alone. The moment I’m under, all four of them will be jumping in after me. It’s sweet that they pretend to listen to me, though.

  I have a little time until any water women know I’m there. I can use my magic if things go bad. And, if all else fails, Rime will drop down there like a fucking vengeful stone ready to obliterate the beautiful sea just to find me.

  That’s…reassuring.

  The gentle water now sounds loud and crashing because it’s all that I’m focused on and all I can hear.

  A long, unsteady breath shakes through my lungs, and I mentally try to calm the frantic nerves within myself. I’ll just count it out. On the count of three. I can do this.

  One. Heavy exhale.

  Two. Painfully deep inhale.

  My feet press flatly to the wooden ship, every muscle in my body tense for the leap.

  And then water rains down on me, slashing so hard its painful against my skin. A woman coils herself higher and higher, her black, scaly tail winding to raise her poised body up to meet mine. Piercing eyes narrow on me, and a sharp jawline hides the sharper teeth that I know she’s clenching tightly together.

  “How dare you.” The tone of her words is a strangely beautiful sound of aggression. Her slender hand lifts toward me, fingers tensing as if she might strangle me even with the several feet separating her from me. “You murder my mother and you have the mortal stupidity to come back to our cove?”

  Chaos’ and Sinister’s hold on my hands become a bit tighter, and I note how much closer both of them are now, leaning their chests against my arms.

  “We didn’t come here to harm anyone. That was never our intent.” I slowly untangle my hands from the two men at my sides and try to show some sign of amical demeanor. I sit on the edge, teetering but keeping my balance against the washing sea and the gentle breeze.

  Another violent spray of water hits my body, jostling my balance, and then a second woman is coiled up behind the first mermaid. And to my shameful horror, she’s holding the dead mermaid Queen in her arms. The woman’s skin tone is a deep-blue color, her arms dangling while her glittering black tail cascades down into the sea. The second woman has enormous silver eyes, but they’re not clouded with rage. Hers are big and filled with tears.

  “My mother brought our people to this island decades ago. She said a woman, a woman just like you, would take care of us if we took care of her,” the woman in front of me growls out. Her thin lips never tremble once because the tightness of her jaw won’t allow it.

  “That woman said I needed—” I try my best to phrase this as peacefully as I can, but it seems that’s not really possible. “She said I needed a single strand of hair from the person I last harmed. I’m not here to hurt you and I truly wish the attack last night would have ended differently.”

  “You!” The single word is a shrieking sound that clatters the very waters of the sea. Water slashes violently into our ship. “You have the disgusting nerve to ask me for a hair from my dead mother’s head?”

  “I—” My voice feels lost within my throat, and the pain filling my chest makes it impossible to breathe.

  “Leave. Now. And never come back to my cove.” The sharp point of her chin rises, and just as quickly as she rose, she descends. Her hair twirls as her tail coils down, down, down. And then she’s gone.

  The young girl holding the mermaid Queen’s body stares wide-eyed at me for several long seconds, tears streaming down her cheeks the whole time. I feel…pathetic. Ashamed.

  “I�
��m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you,” I whisper.

  Her tail arches, bringing her tear-streaked face inches from mine. She’s so close I can feel her shuddering breath against my cheek. Sharp white teeth reveal as she hesitates to speak to me.

  “You said you needed the hair from the person you last harmed.” Her alluring tone is just as beautiful but hauntingly sad.

  I nod quietly.

  Every one of her lashes glitters against the sun, both from the sea water dripping down her skin and also from the tears leaking from her eyes.

  “You killed my mother.” A single breath fills her lungs. “The last person you harmed then, was me.” The emptiness of her voice cuts into me, and I’ll never regret fighting for my life but I’ll always regret the way I hurt this girl.

  I know I’ll remember the lost look in her silver eyes for the rest of my life.

  She lowers, and my determination to do this one simple task lowers right along with her. At the last minute, her long fingers thread through her pale-white hair. She pulls, and when she lifts a lock of her hair up to me, I clutch it tight in my fist immediately, teetering dangerously over the edge, making Chaos lock his arms around my waist to stop me from diving in after her.

  She holds her mother to her chest, her face tilted up to me as the powerful sea pulls her down. “Never come back here,” she whispers.

  And then the ocean sweeps her under.

  I got exactly what I came for. I just didn’t expect the drowning guilt that came with it.

  Eighteen

  The King’s Arrival

  When the five of us trail down the dock and toward the village, Molly’s attention on my soggy attire is obnoxiously heavy. My clothes cling to my body, and I cling to that lock of hair as I hold my arms tightly around myself. We pass the steam room and the judgmental little woman standing in front of it.

  “I’m told the King is paying us a visit today. I intend to greet him personally. I think he should be aware of what’s happening in his own village.”

  I don’t lift my head to her. I don’t feed her desperate need for an altercation. I just have to get through this. The very little amount of energy I have is being reserved for someone a bit more important than Molly.

  Rime, on the other hand, always uses his energy frugally, so he apparently has plenty to spare. “I hear it’s hard to greet someone if you’ve recently had your tongue cut out.” The polite nod he gives her is as confusing as the threat he just subtly dropped by.

  His hands remain casually in his pockets as he walks behind me, but the cutting look he passes her steals the coloring from her features. The blood drains from her face, and she slips safely away inside the steam room without another word.

  I don’t think about her nasty threats as I make my way toward the bakery just down the warm cobbled street. It’s hard to let a few hateful words slip into your thoughts when all you can think about is how the one person you hurt the most, was the one person to help you when you asked. It restores something in my heart. All the constant suspicious glaring eyes of the villagers are insignificant to the single act of kindness the mermaid girl showed me today. It’s strange how little compassion it takes to dissolve so much hate.

  She helped me. I have no idea why, but she helped me.

  The men don’t coddle me. They let me hold myself together as we walk toward my mother’s shop. Kain’s big hand settles low on my back, warming me all the way through with the small touch, and his body brushes subtly against mine when he opens the door for me. A chime of bells ring overhead, and I halt there in the doorway to take a calming breath of salty oceanfront air.

  A goodbye that I’ve been dreading is coming.

  All that calm breathing and ridiculous focus I’m putting on filling my lungs and emptying them is interrupted by the very distinct sound of clunking horse hooves. It’s a repetitive drilling clacking that’s only drowned out by abrupt cheering from down the street. I pause to look past the door Kain is holding open.

  The sight of a shining navy carriage pulling up makes all my careful breaths halt, forgotten in my lungs. And the way Molly’s little legs wobble her ass on over to that carriage causes stinging vomit to crawl up my throat in place of the air I’ve abandoned.

  Fuck.

  Kain’s hand on my back grows heavy, and he shoves me inside. I stumble but rush into the calming scent of warm bread and sugary sweets.

  “Mom.” My voice is a sort of breathless scream as I stride behind the counter. My gaze shifts over the perfect mounds of dough rising on the back counter near the door. Flour is scattered here and there. The heat of the cooking bread warms my skin, but the actual baker of all of these goods is nowhere to be found.

  “Mom?”

  A beat passes as I peer into the back room. The teal tissue papers, ribbons, and white boxes are the only things back there.

  “I’m upstairs, I didn’t realize how much of a mess you guys made up here. There’s dried blood on the floor, Arrie. Blood!” Her lecturing voice is muffled, but I can hear the disappointment in her voice loud and clear.

  “Mom, I have to go.” A hammering thumping of my heart starts up as seconds tick quietly by, and I continue to stare up at the dark stairwell that leads to the attic space.

  “Okay, sweetheart. Give me just a minute.”

  “Mom.” To say my voice sounds frantic is a desperate understatement.

  Words hum into the room as a figure steps in front of the thin teal curtain over the door. “I’m just saying she’s a girl like any other. You’d know a mage when you saw one. Arlow Winters is no mage. The woman can barely walk and talk at the same time, you said it yourself.” The proper tone of Linden’s voice teeters just slightly, and I realize his back is to me, blocking someone in front of him.

  His father.

  Sinister’s gaze locks on the two men just outside of the door, and with incredible silence, he waves his hand and soundlessly turns the deadbolt into place with the gentlest magic I’ve ever seen from him.

  I look to the men standing ominously outside the one place I’ve ever felt safe. My gaze shifts over the mess of white flour, and my finger swipes through it, feeling the familiarity of my childhood sift beneath my fingertips.

  It’s a shift in all four of them. Kain guides me toward the door at the back of the shop, Sinister keeps close behind me, and Rime and Chaos keep their attention held on the door while backing slowly away.

  The handle turns, and forceful pressure jars into the locked door just as the five of us rush out. My feet never stop—it’s a blur of brown bark and the cracking sound of breaking branches as we run out into forest. Tree limbs scrape against my skin, catching at my clothes, but I don’t pause once. The farther we run, the less and less trees there are until we halt in the middle of a chopped-away clearing. Splinters of lumber and tattered leaves scratch at my feet. I heave painfully for air, and it hits my lungs on burning inhales.

  There’s too much frustration building within me, but I try to relax. Now is not the time to be irrational. I need to think everything through.

  It probably wasn’t how my mother wanted it, though. Hell, it wasn’t how I wanted it either. But before we ran out, in the flour that I hope she notices once the confusion and anger have settled, is a simple note.

  It says ‘With love. Goodbye.’

  Nineteen

  Dangerous Secrets

  In the clearing, between several stumps and a nice divot of mud, I place the lock of mermaid hair.

  “Now, we’re doing this right now?” Sinister lifts his hands from his sides, and he’s barely containing his breathless outrage.

  “I’m limited on the places I can vanish us away to. Quite honestly, Attika sounds like a fucking vacation compared to all of this. I just need to know.” There’s so damn much I need to know.

  “It’s fine. Arlow actually needs to do it sooner rather than later, because if she harms someone new then it’ll be the mermaid incident all over again.” Kain nods sweetly, and despite
him taking my side, the word ‘incident’ grates on me. Maybe I’ll make a rule that we’re just no longer going to use that term anymore… “Get your answers, we’ll keep watch.”

  Kain’s big hand brushes down my knuckles before he slips me a tiny glass vial, and then Kain and Chaos turn their backs, watching for movement from the village we just left.

  With a deep breath, I lower myself, taking out the little glass vial of my mother’s lonely tear.

  “Will the King take your mother?” Rime’s attention lingers on the muddy area I’m throwing things into.

  “No. She’s smart. She’s made a perfect life out of being completely ordinary. She’s never had a slip up. Never used her magic in the entire time I’ve been alive. She didn’t tell me. I’d had slip ups that I didn’t understand when I was younger but I didn’t find out until I was older. I found out myself when I was thirteen and snuck out of my room to meet a boy. I fell. A scream tore from my throat for a long, long time, and I realized I was still screaming when I opened my eyes and found myself suspended, my face poised just above the smooth cobblestone street. When I told her about the levitation, she was furious. Now that I’m older, I realize she was just afraid. Over the next several years, I had so many slip ups just like that, and in all that time, she never did. She’s entirely ordinary. Ask any person in that village. Her mundaneness will protect her.”

  She urged me to embrace average. I just could accept it. And that rebelliousness of my magic caused my peers not to accept me.

  Until very, very recently when I met a few true friends.

  Sinister lowers himself at my side, his thigh brushing against mine as his hands push so slowly over my arms. His touch shivers down my skin until his fingers push through mine. I look over my shoulder at him, our noses nearly touching.

  A hint of a mysterious smile tilts his lips. As I stare into his bright, mischievous crimson eyes, all I want to do is ask him what he’s doing.