Sustaining: A Reverse Harem Series (To Tame a Shifter Book 4)

by A. K. Koonce

  Until cold metal slips into my hand and his fingers press into mine, forcing me to hold the object. And then a gasp sneaks from his lips, fanning against mine. Warm liquid slides between my fingertips, and I stare down in surprise to find that he’s sliced a perfect line diagonally across his left palm, using my other hand that’s holding a sharp dagger I’ve never seen before.

  “Sinister,” I barely get his name whispered from my lips when his mouth presses firmly to mine, his tongue slipping between my parted lips as his blood continues to warm my hand. The wound pulses against my touch until the tingling sensation of his magic smooths the skin into a thin, healed line.

  “I love you, Arrie.”

  When I look up at him, long dark lashes flutter as he seems to force himself to keep his eyes closed. It oddly feels like he’s afraid to look at me right now. I’ve never in my entire life seen the strong demon appear anything but composed. He said he loved me and now he’s afraid.

  I hate that.

  I drop the dagger from our hands and turn until I’m pressed fully to him, his hands taking my hips in a firm grip as my damp fingers thread through his soft, inky hair. My heart’s pounding as hard as his is against my chest. But when I speak, those gentle, whispered words are all that matter.

  “I love you, too, Sin.”

  His lashes flutter but never open as a slow smile pulls wide against his lips. Then he’s kissing me again. It’s a hard press of his lips on mine, and it reminds me of the delicious night we spent together on the ship in the middle of the dark ocean.

  Everything about this man is everything I’ve always wanted. He’s strong and fierce but gentle and caring.

  He’s…everything I never let myself have for so long.

  And now he’s mine.

  “Ah, to be young and in love.” Her voice is airy and accompanied by a frosty chill that settles in around us.

  My gaze lifts, and there, standing in the mud, surrounded by snow that seems to radiate off of her rather than the sky above, is the Solstice Queen. A pale-white gown makes her skin flawless and porcelain-looking. A heavy white cloak covers her delicate shoulders, and she seems entirely out of place among the forest.

  “You summoned me. I’m impressed by your growing magic.” A small smile tilts her lips, but it only softens her features a little.

  Slowly I stand, my dress covered in dirt and demon’s blood. We study one another for several passing seconds, and I can’t explain why I know without a doubt, she and I are the same. Something in us, aside from that brooding magic, is the same.

  It’s an unexplainable connection.

  “You want to know why,” she says quietly. Her hands fold neatly in front of her, and she watches me closely as I nod to her. “It’s a long story, Arlow.” She pauses, but it seems it’s a long story she’s ready to tell. “Decades ago, King Barron was determined to chase out people like us.” She smooths the front of her pretty gown and tilts her chin back up. “I’m getting distracted and I need to be precise in delivering what the summoner wants. I met a charming demon named Kreedence Savoy.”

  When I realize she’s telling me exactly what I feared all along, anger claws deep into my stomach. She knew him. All along.

  “I told him I just wanted a single ally in this world. That I needed someone young. Someone who could match my strength and help us get back all that we’d lost.”

  Vomit burns up my throat.

  “He searched the entire continent.” Her bright-green eyes beam with pride as she stares at me. “There’s only a few of us here and there. You’re the youngest. You’re the final one, Arlow.”

  Seconds pass while she looks desperately at me, and I stare astonished at her. Her hand lifts just slightly, and that small move brings Rime closer. He stands just inches from her, and the amount of poised regality it must take for her to pretend like he’s not growling in her face is amazing.

  She waits for my response. I honestly don’t know what she expects me to say to that. So I go with brutal honesty.

  “You fucking sent Kreedence after me?”

  It was her. I didn’t meet the one man who both made me stronger and pitifully weaker by happenstance. He hunted me. He hunted me the way three dragon shifters did, except when he found me, he never once cared for me. Not even when he lured me in with all that charm and all those lies.

  “Did you know? Did you know how much he hurt me? He made me afraid to even live. And even after he’d died”—my voice chokes on the last word because I strangely can’t admit that I murdered him out of pure rage—“even after he was gone, he still hurt me so badly I couldn’t even trust myself, let alone another man.” Dampness runs down my face, and her attention lowers to the feel of the emotions streaking down my cheeks.

  “I didn’t instruct him to hurt you, Arlow. I instructed him to strengthen that quiet magic inside yourself.” Before I can spew the anger ripping up my throat, she continues on. “A single man destroyed our people. He took our lives away, not Kreedence, not me, but him!” Her gaze has so much depth and passion right now, but it’s carefully composed. She’s in control of everything in her life and she knows it. She knows who she is and she knows where she’s going.

  She’s everything I’ve always wanted to be.

  But I know a liar when I see one.

  “We are owed so much. I’m going to ask you this one time, Arlow. Come with me to Attika. Help me, help us. If you help me, you and I will never have to hide, I promise. Together, the two Kingdoms could be ours.”

  There’s a small rebellious part of me deep in the back of my mind that’s rising to say she’s right. My life, Aggie’s life, my mother’s life, it was all taken from us all because the King of Minden was a scared little man.

  People fear the things that are different. Fear can be a dangerous, deadly thing.

  But so can vengeance.

  Ellise isn’t here to right a wrong or to save the last remaining mages of this world.

  She’s here for power that isn’t hers. Just as she was all those years ago when she herself started all of this.

  “No.” My jaw locks tight after I’ve said the single statement.

  “No?” Her pale-blonde brow arches. “You’re turning your back on your people?”

  The fury she evokes inside me is proof that the similarities between she and I aren’t enough to make us true allies.

  “No. You don’t want to liberate us. You want to rule us. You want exactly what you wanted all those years ago. And you and everyone you gather will die in the name of a crown that isn’t yours.” My voice trembles with all the effort it’s taking to control my tone in front of her.

  Her hand snatches out for me, and I can faintly see her fading right before my very eyes. She’s delivered what the summoner needed. And now the power of this magic is ripping her right back to whatever hiding hole she came from.

  Rime’s fist clutches over her wrist before she ever touches me, and her image flickers out of focus, but he holds her in place away from me. His icy gaze is an eerie emptiness, and I know he’s not afraid of the most powerful mage in all the land.

  The way her face slowly turns to him reveals a similar look of quieted rage. That single, familiar look twists my stomach, but I’m not sure why. The two stare at each other. Smooth, pale features appraise one another. Blonde hair as white as snow lifts in the breeze, and it clicks in my mind just before she speaks.

  “I had a son who was hidden away from the world. I had a son who would have ruined my chances at a royal wedding. I had a son I abandoned in the coldest part of the Attikan Kingdom.” Her features flicker out once more, but it’s as if she’s holding herself here with us with the force of unseen magic. “He wasn’t like Linden. He was strong, and I knew that strength would help him survive.”

  Rime’s knuckles tighten so hard his fist shakes as he grips her slender wrist. Frost wafts from his lips with every heavy breath he releases, but he never once replies to her confession.

  Her other hand
wraps around his, and then she’s staring at me. This time when she flickers, shuddering out of focus like she might disappear entirely, so does Rime.

  My breath catches, and I’m suddenly reminded of those ominous words Aggie said to the ice dragon all that time ago: You will be the hardest to break but the easiest to love. The worst to lose.

  “No,” I say through gritted teeth.

  Another bout of transparency flickers over them, and my hands lift to think of some sort of magic to protect him.

  The hard-headed shifter never even let me tell him I loved him. I can’t lose him. I won’t. Agatha might be a Sight Seer, but she can’t always be right. She just can’t.

  “If I stole something you loved, would you follow me then, Arlow? Is that what it takes?”

  “No.” The word shakes from me, grinding out as the magic in me builds to an unsustainable high.

  A sweet smile curves her lips. It all happens so fast. The shuddering translucency quickens, and I just know what she’s going to do to me.

  She’s going to rip away a part of me that I can’t live without.

  And I won’t let that happen.

  They fade. So, so quickly they fade out of existence right before my very eyes. I slide my hand into his, our eyes meeting with a passing look of surprise and fear.

  I think somewhere in the darkness, somewhere in the whipping pull of time and space, I say it, but it’s lost in the void.

  Just as the Solstice Queen tears the three of us away from Warf, I say the one thing he always asked me not to say.

  “I love you.”

  Twenty

  Love and Lies

  I wake moments later, and memories swirl through my messy mind, but I do remember exactly what she did.

  I thought Agatha meant that Rime would be taken away from me. In my irrational fear of her confusing prediction, I thought that he’d be physically taken from me.

  Now that I stand in the cold dungeon, I realize I misunderstood entirely.

  Ice is slick under my bare feet, numbing my bones as I cling on to the bars of the cell. Several other cells are lined right next to mine among the shadows but I don’t focus on them or their occupants. Just outside my makeshift prison, in the dark, enormous dungeon room, Ellise lays the unconscious shifter to the floor. His pale hair is stark against the damp stone, and it hurts me to see him so weak and fragile looking. Magic flares to life in my fingertips, but when I lift my hand to fling that power at her, it simply burns against my skin. It presses to escape, but something out of my control doesn’t allow it to come tearing out of me.

  “Magic isn’t an option, my dear.” She doesn’t look at me as she gets to work on setting something up on a table near the far wall. “I’ve enchanted that lovely cell you’re in to prevent any ill-wishing magic to blossom. Just a precautious measure, you understand, my friend.” She smiles to herself as I grind my teeth and pull as hard as I can against the barred door that’s separating Rime from me.

  “I won’t hurt him, don’t worry.” Pure white light flashes across her features, the light crawling across the dimness of the room, and her smile only intensifies. “I prepared a few taming devices that I think you’d be interested to hear about.” She turns and reveals a circular object. It beams with so much brightness it has a halo appearance.

  She kneels at Rime’s side, and everything in me wants to climb the bars of this place until I find a way out just to throw myself protectively across his unconscious body.

  “I have a feeling you might still be a bit reluctant to help our cause but I assure you I intend to use all power provided to me with the very best intentions for our people.” She glances up at me just as she lowers the glowing halo to Rime. It shines over his pale hair, and she slowly fixes it into place with a terrifying electric sound. “This magic-infused device drives out the voice of humanity in their thick, beastly skulls.” Her fingers brush sweetly against his temple as she adjusts the halo. “It allows their dragons to come forth; it strengthens them as a man and as a beast. It unifies them in a way that will really benefit all of us.”

  The muscles in Rime’s arms cord, tensing so slowly as he locks his fingers hard into his fists until every single part of him is carved into an image of frightening strength. My breath catches as I stare wide-eyed at the man lying on the ground, his sharp but beautiful features contorting with a look of blatant rage that I’ve never seen before.

  Frost-kissed eyes open. He stares up at the woman above him, her fingers still softly touching his grinding jaw. The way his chest rises and falls, the sweat that trails down his temple despite the cold, and the simple way his arms keep tensing like an actual beast might rip right out of him has fear physically trembling through my hands as I lean my face between the icy bars of my cell.

  “Rime,” I whisper. I say his name like I’m not even sure if I’ve ever spoken it out loud. It hurts to say. It hurts so badly, cracking open my chest so deeply I gasp from the feel of it.

  I hate saying his name because I’m terrified of what the response will be.

  His head tics, turning slightly but not fully toward the familiar sound of my voice. He doesn’t look away from the Solstice Queen.

  “Rime?” The quiet, unsureness of my voice hurts my throat to even get the simple word out.

  His gaze cuts to me, seeing me for the first time in the shadows of the room.

  Stiffly, he stands. Ellise stands as well, and she keeps a curious attention on the shifter’s back as he prowls toward me. Even the way he walks is different. His movements are no longer that quiet confident demeanor. It’s all stalking, dangerous aggression.

  He stops several feet from my cell, pacing slowly while his skeptical gaze shifts across my features. He takes in every dirty inch of my yellow dress. He sniffs at the dry blood coating my hands. And then he looks directly into my eyes. A rumbling snarl shakes from his chest. He steps closer and the vacantness of his eyes makes me flinch when his nose touches the side of my cheek, breathing me in in angry huffs of aggression. He slowly exhales, his teeth opening to release the low growl crawling up his throat, and I’m almost certain he might snap at me.

  Instead, he grinds his jaw tighter.

  And then walks away.

  That’s the worst of it. Watching Rime turn his back on me and walk away like a stranger, that’s the very worst thing she could have done to me.

  All the emotions in me come crashing down as he leaves me behind. My lips part with a sob striking up my throat. The anger and the pain that slices through my chest comes tearing out of me in shaking breaths and quiet tears.

  That lying bitch. I know him. I know Rime and I know his fucking dragon. His dragon trusted me. His dragon trusted me before Rime even trusted me. Whatever her fucking device is pushing to the front of Rime’s mind, it isn’t his beast.

  “Rime and I are going upstairs, Arlow. Lots of catching up to do.” Ellise claps her hands together as she faces me with an enchanting smile that I want so badly slap right off her mouth. “I have planning to do. Kingdoms to conquer. People to help. My time is precious, and it cannot be wasted. Your mate and I will return. We will come back down tomorrow at dawn, and when I return, I want your answer. Will you help us? Don’t answer me now. Just consider it. It is a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Rime and I will do this with or without you, but I know—I know—you are capable of greatness, Arlow.” It’s an inspiring little speech that makes me want to spit in her fucking face at the end.

  She turns, Rime follows, and then, the two of them trail up the dark stairway on the far side of the room.

  I can’t help but keep my eyes focused on the light of the halo shining down on Rime. I keep my gaze trained on the receding sliver of that light. It’s the last little fading piece of him. Until it’s gone entirely.

  Leaving me alone in the dark.

  I slide to the floor, letting the coldness of it sink into my bones. A small dip of self-pity attempts to crawl down into my stomach, but I clench my teeth against the s
ad turn of my thoughts. I force the miserable pity away and I think about every single terrible lie I’ve ever told in my life.

  They’d be comical if everything wasn’t falling apart right now.

  I can get through this though. I know I can.

  I’ve spent my entire life lying to people just to survive. Honestly, that’s what I’m really trained in. I’m a mage of lies. A beast tamer is just a hobby.

  A liar. That’s what I really am.

  And it’s suddenly the one good quality about me.

  Because my ability to lie to the most powerful mage in the world, that’s what’s going to save us now.

  The End.

  Thank you, guys, for reading! This one was one of my favorites to write in this series. The truth came out. Not just about Arlow’s feelings for a certain sexy demon, but also about the history of mages.

  The next book, Reigning, is the final story to this series, and I’m both excited and a little sad to send it out to you guys! It’ll be here soon! Preorder your copy of Reigning today!

  Reigning Preorder

  Also by A.K. Koonce

  The Mortals and Mystics Series

  Fate of the Hybrid, Prequel

  When Fate Aligns, Book one

  When Fate Unravels, Book two

  When Fate Prevails, Book three

  Resurrection Island

  The Royal Harem Series

  The Hundred Year Curse

  The Curse of the Sea

  The Legend of the Cursed Princess

  The Hopeless Series

  Hopeless Magic

  Hopeless Kingdom

  Hopeless Realm

  Hopeless Sacrifice

  The Harem of Misery Series

  Pandora’s Pain