Married in Name Only

by Jules Bennett

  She settled back against the seat and glanced at Lucas’s text again. He’d simply said he was home and he’d wait up for her, but hoped she was having fun. There was no mention of his findings, nothing that hinted as to what he’d been doing.

  Paisley tried to relax her breathing, to calm herself so she didn’t just go in and explode all over him. She truly did want to give him a chance to defend himself.

  The idea that she was a pawn in his grand scheme to get to Sterling sickened her. After all they’d been through in the past, all they’d been through just in the past few weeks, she didn’t want to believe the worst.

  The car pulled in front of Lucas’s condo building, and Paisley didn’t wait on the driver. The car had barely rolled to a stop before she jerked the door handle and bolted out. She headed into the building and typed in the code at the elevator with shaky hands. When the doors opened, she clutched her purse to still her nerves and watched the numbers light up as she ascended to the penthouse.

  The moment the doors slid open, Paisley pulled in a deep breath and stepped into the suite, placing her clutch on the table next to the elevator. Lucas came from the hallway, his hair a mess from his hat, his shirt unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up on his forearms. There was a wariness to his heavy-lidded gaze, but he offered her a smile that never failed to curl all around her heart.

  “Had I known you were going out looking so sexy, I would’ve made sure I was back in time.” He reached her and slid his hands up her bare arms. “Red is your color.”

  When he started to pull her in, Paisley flattened her palms against his chest and took a step back. Suspicion quickly replaced the exhaustion.

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  “Where were you today?”

  He stared at her for a moment, then shook his head and raked a hand over the back of his neck.

  “I was working,” he murmured. “There’s something you need to know.”

  Paisley’s heart quickened as nerves like she’d never known consumed her. She knew. She knew before she even opened her mouth, but she had to hear him say it.

  “Does this have anything to do with your revenge against Sterling?”

  Lucas didn’t flinch, he didn’t look surprised, he didn’t even attempt to deny the allegation. The truth settled heavily between them.

  “My work today had to do with you,” he stated, as if that explained all the missing pieces he’d conveniently kept from her.

  “Which I’m sure just pushes your agenda to bring justice to Sterling.”

  Lucas nodded, a dark look clouding his eyes. “I hate the man. He ruined my father’s business and I won’t apologize for seeking justice or for trying to honor my father.”

  Paisley let out a humorless laugh. “You must’ve really loved it when I stepped into your office and wanted you to research him. I just handed you a golden ticket to get the ultimate revenge if I was his daughter.”

  He stared at her for another minute before blowing out a sigh and turning from her, muttering something beneath his breath.

  Paisley watched as he paced in front of the wall of living room windows. The dark night behind him only added to the mystery of this man. The man she’d thought she’d known so well...but she’d been so blinded by love. Or was it foolishness? At this point, weren’t they the same emotion?

  Maybe that was what sickened her most. She’d wanted to believe there was no hidden agenda. She’d wanted to believe that when he’d said he wanted a child, that maybe that was the only stipulation.

  Like a damn fool, she’d been ready to give everything to him. Her heart, her life, her future.

  Lucas had his back to her, staring out into the night. She wanted to know what was going through his mind, but at the same time, she didn’t know if he’d just spout off more lies and keep the real truth hidden like he’d been doing.

  “Sterling is a bastard and, yes, I did see you as a way to get back at him if you turned out to be his daughter.”

  He turned to face her, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But so much changed between us and... Damn it. He’s not your father.”

  Paisley heard the words, attempted to process them, but could she believe anything he said at this point? How could he be so sure about Sterling? Who had he spoken to?

  She had so many questions, but would he give her the answers she wanted, the ones she deserved?

  On shaky legs, Paisley made her way across the room and rested her hands on the back of the leather chair. As much as she felt she needed to take a seat, she wanted to look like she was strong, in control—though she felt anything but.

  “Why should I believe you?” she asked.

  “I’ve been going through the boxes you’ve brought,” he started. “I searched through some of Lynette’s old planners last night and another letter slipped out. She wrote it to a Jeb Smith, but never mailed it. The letter said—”

  “I want to see it,” she demanded, barely holding her emotions together.

  “Paisley—”

  “Now.”

  Lucas stared at her a minute before he crossed the room toward her and pulled a folded paper from his pocket. Without a word he handed it over. Paisley attempted to calm her breathing and will her hands to stop shaking before she opened the note. Anything inside here was clearly going to alter her future, and now that it came down to it, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to know the truth.

  Carefully, she unfolded the letter and read each word her mother had written. The emotions flooded her from so many angles. Seeing her mother’s beautiful cursive writing had a knot of loss forming in her gut. But Paisley pushed through that pain as she experienced another round from the fact this Jeb Smith could be her father.

  Paisley had never heard that name in her life, but from the way her mother demanded child support, Paisley wondered if this was real. At this point, she wasn’t sure if even her mother knew who the father was.

  The only thing that was clear now was that Lucas had lied to her and that hurt more than not knowing the truth about her father.

  “I don’t believe this or you,” she stated, refolding the paper and tossing it into the chair in front of her. “Sterling makes sense. He’s the type of guy my mother would’ve gravitated toward and he’s already been rumored to have had affairs.”

  The muscle in Lucas’s jaw ticked, his lips thinned. “He’s not your father. I went to see Jeb today and he was fully aware of you. He even had photos of you as a child. Apparently Lynette had given them to him.”

  Paisley’s vision wavered. Black dots swam before her. She shook her head, gripping the seat back and closing her eyes. There was a man out there who knew he was her father...and hadn’t sought her out. There was a man her mother had known for sure and hadn’t said a word about to Paisley.

  The emotions were too strong, her heart too raw to attempt to process what all of this meant. Had anyone in her life been truthful? It hit her then, hard, that she truly was alone.

  Lucas reached out to her and his hand rested on her arm. Paisley jerked away as she focused on him.

  “Don’t touch me,” she murmured.

  The last thing she wanted was attention out of pity. She was alone, right? There was no need to lean on someone who was just using her. She would get through all of this, somehow, and come out stronger.

  But first she needed to go home, be by herself and have a much-needed breakdown.

  “You looked like you were about to pass out on me.”

  She rubbed at her temples, then shoved her hair from her face. “I don’t need your help with anything anymore. Not the truth, not my health, nothing.”

  The light glinted off the rock on her hand and Paisley wasted no time twisting the bands off. She held them out, but Lucas merely glanced at them and back up to her.

  “They’re yours.”

  Paisley laughed
. “I don’t want them. Save them for the next woman you use or return them. I don’t give a damn, but they will not be leaving with me.”

  Lucas shook his head. “You’re not leaving.”

  Backing up a step, Paisley let out a mock laugh. “Like hell I’m not. If this Jeb Smith is my father, then we’re done. I told you from the beginning that this wasn’t permanent.”

  Yeah, she’d said those words, but she’d ignored them and had fallen face-first in love. She hadn’t taken her own advice and had totally ignored all the red flags as to why getting too emotionally attached was a bad idea.

  So here she was. Brokenhearted, barely holding herself together, and the daughter of a man she’d never heard of...and clearly a man who wanted nothing to do with her since he’d known of her existence.

  Paisley bit her quivering lip and turned away. She did not need a witness to her vulnerability and agony.

  “Paisley, don’t shut me out,” Lucas pleaded. “I wanted to find all the facts before I came to you. I was trying to make this process as painless as possible.”

  She whirled back around, swiping at the tear that had the nerve to escape. “What process? Finding my father or you lying to my face night after night as we made love? Did you even feel guilty for using me? After all we shared before, after what we were building now, where the hell was your conscience in all of this? Because I would never use someone I love.”

  His brows rose as he stared back at her without a word.

  “That’s right. I love you.” Another tear escaped and she didn’t bother wiping it away. She wanted him to see the damage he’d caused. “At least when I broke your heart years ago, I did it so you’d have a better life. I did it because I loved you so much. I never lied to you, not one time.”

  Lucas pursed his lips and gave a clipped nod. He glanced away, but not before Paisley saw a shimmer in his eyes.

  Could he actually have a heart, after all?

  “I won’t be staying here,” she told him. “I’ll come back and get my things and my mother’s boxes when you’re at work. My attorney will be in touch regarding the divorce.”

  His eyes darted right back to hers. “Don’t make any decisions out of anger. We need to talk about this.”

  “We’ve been talking,” she reminded him. “The story won’t change. You lied to me and used me. I thought we could actually have something together again. I was foolish enough to want to give you that family you mentioned. I was hopeful that you’d grow to love me again and maybe this would all work out. But that was all too naive and I can see exactly what this is and what this isn’t.”

  She started to turn, but he reached for her.

  “At least let me tell you about your real father,” he stated. “You have his face shape and the same mouth, the same dimple to the right of your lips.”

  Paisley stared down at her gold, strappy sandals on the glossy hardwood floors. She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want him to see the impact of everything he said.

  “He never wanted children,” Lucas went on. “He was paying your mother at first for child support, but then he got laid off from his job in construction. He kept telling her to just move on and leave him out of it. He thought you’d be better off without him as a father. Surely you can understand that.”

  Paisley didn’t miss his hint at the similarities between this man thinking she was better off without him and her doing the same to Lucas years ago.

  But this wasn’t the same. This wasn’t some young love trying to figure out their future. This was her life, her past, the part that shaped her into who she was today.

  “You can text me all of his information and I’ll take it from here,” she told him, heading to the elevator. She grabbed her clutch and hit the button. “My lawyer will contact you this week.”

  She didn’t turn around, didn’t want to look into his eyes again. The pain she felt... She couldn’t even put a label on such emotions, but she didn’t want him to see. Yes, she’d wanted him to know he’d hurt her, but now that pain bordered on soul crushing and heartbreaking, and she didn’t want to be seen as weak.

  The doors slid open and she fully expected him to call out her name, to come up behind her and try to convince her to stay. But the doors slid open and Paisley stepped in.

  The second she turned, her eyes locked with his. Damn it. She hadn’t wanted him to be the last thing she saw as she left.

  But maybe this was what she needed to finalize this chapter on her life. The anguish on his face almost had her pausing, but no. He was good at manipulating people, manipulating her. If he had pain or angst, that was all on him.

  She had her own life to piece back together. As much as she still loved him, she just didn’t have the energy to play this marriage game any longer.

  Sixteen

  Silence was deafening.

  Lucas had heard the term before, but never fully comprehended those words until Paisley walked out of his penthouse.

  That had been five hours ago.

  Lucas stared out into the night from his living room. He still held on to the tumbler of bourbon he’d poured an hour ago. He had no clue what to do, how to be. He wasn’t himself without Paisley and he’d severed any chance of having her in his life.

  But he had no heart to give her. One time he’d thought he had, but he wouldn’t have treated her this way if he’d truly loved her. Using her had been a mistake, but for years he’d hated Sterling and the second she stepped into his office, Lucas had seen a clever way in.

  What he hadn’t seen was the woman he’d loved once, the woman who’d had the ability to hurt him. Instead, he’d seen anger and resentment.

  He was a damn fool.

  Lucas stared down at the glass in his hand and had every desire to throw it and hear the shatter, but that would solve nothing. Who the hell was he angry at? He was the only one who’d made a mess of this entire ordeal.

  But he’d found the answers for Paisley. That was most important. After all she’d been through, she deserved to know the truth.

  He hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her that her biological father was sick, but from here on out, that part of her life was out of his hands. He’d texted her the information she’d wanted and had gotten no reply—not that he expected one.

  Lucas turned from the view that had once been lit up with lights from the city, but now, in the middle of the night, was mostly dark. There was probably some correlation between that and his life, but right now he couldn’t figure it out.

  He took the glass to the bar and headed toward the bedroom. The second he stepped through the doorway, he realized his mistake. He couldn’t sleep in here. Paisley was everywhere. Her satin robe draped across the bottom of the bed, her heels placed near the closet where she’d stepped out of them yesterday, the perfume...damn. That floral scent was everywhere.

  Lucas stared at the bed they’d been sleeping in and knew he wouldn’t be back in this room for a long, long time.

  He marched across to the other side of the penthouse, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. One of the guest rooms would have to do. Maybe he wouldn’t see her there, maybe he’d sleep, maybe he’d actually be able to move on without her.

  But he knew the truth. Paisley had infiltrated his life on two separate occasions and both times when she’d walked out, he’d been left feeling completely gutted with no hope of what tomorrow would bring.

  * * *

  Paisley stared across the street at the simple bungalow owned by Jeb Smith. She’d barely slept last night because she’d been so nervous about today and confronting the man who supposedly was her father.

  Though if she was being honest with herself, she couldn’t sleep because she’d been back in her town house, alone in her bed and trying to get the ache in her heart to subside.

  But she couldn’t think about Lucas right now. Not that he was ever
fully out of her thoughts, but she had to push him to the back. This day was too important. The man inside that house could truly be her father.

  Inside her heart, she knew he was. Lucas wouldn’t have told her if he wasn’t 100 percent certain. Yes, he’d lied to her about Sterling to try to seek his own revenge, but Paisley couldn’t question this.

  She gripped her door handle and stepped from her car. Pulling in a deep breath, she smoothed down her maxidress and glanced both ways before setting off across the street. Maybe she should’ve worn jeans. Was a dress too formal? What did one wear to meet a parent for the first time?

  Nerves curled all through her, sending doubts shooting off in all directions. There was no turning back. She wanted to know, she deserved to know. She’d already lost one parent and she wanted the opportunity to get to know the other.

  She had no clue why her mother hadn’t just come out and told her who her father was or why she didn’t state his name in the letter. Perhaps she was trying to save him after all this time or maybe she was ashamed of her past. Paisley truly had no idea and she might never know her mother’s reasoning. All she knew was she was about to meet her father at long last.

  Paisley climbed the porch steps and glanced to the homey wooden swing on the opposite end. With a shaky finger, she pressed the doorbell and stepped back to wait.

  The click of a lock and twist of the handle had her pasting on a smile and ready to face whomever was on the other side of that door.

  A middle-aged man with silver hair and kind eyes stood on the other side of the glass door. The second his gaze locked with hers, his brows shot up, his mouth dropped in surprise. He quickly opened the door.

  “Paisley?” he asked, his tone laced with uncertainty.

  She nodded, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her. “Jeb Smith?”

  He didn’t confirm as he gestured her to come in. “I thought after your husband came by, you might follow.”

  Paisley stepped into the foyer and stood awkwardly as he closed the door behind her. When he turned to face her once again, he smiled and a piece of her fear melted away.