Ex

by Maya Chase

  “Well, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Just be civil,” she continued. “I know things didn’t end well but do take the higher road.”

  “Don’t worry mom,” she laughed.

  “Ok, well I’ve said my piece,” she replied, smiling at her daughter. She took another bite of the ravioli and let out an audible yum. “You’ve got to try this, James.”

  “Don’t mind if I do,” he said, taking a pocket of the pasta on his fork. It was delicious; everything was. It was difficult to go wrong at Sofia’s.

  The Morgans talked away the evening in that cozy dining room. Patrons filled their bellies and wait staff flitted back and forth between tables, querying their satisfaction, collecting glasses, pouring drinks, processing payments, smiling, delivering ever more dinner rolls. Amy was glad to be home, and glad her parents had taken the time to book a meal for her return. When the door swung behind them and ushered them onto the warm evening street the sun was just setting, the long summer day just coming to an end. The clamor and heat of New York that had been quieted by the comforting walls of Sofia’s rushed to greet them, and as streetlights flickered to life and lamplight drifted from apartment windows into the darkening city night Amy and her parents walked home, happy to be together again. For the moment, any anxiety Amy had felt about Jalen was put to rest.

  THREE

  Jalen tried to wrestle the controller from his younger brother, Herb. They were playing Grand Theft Auto in Herb’s room, chatting away the afternoon and downing bags of barbeque flavored potato chips.

  “Look at this,” Herb said, pointing to a building in the game. “Like, is that real?”

  “I think it is, it looks familiar.”

  Herb had been asking pretty much the same question all afternoon. Since the game’s map was based on Los Angeles, he stopped his stolen car every few blocks to point out one conspicuous building or another and ask Jalen if he’d seen it. He’d stopped in front of the big Oriental cinema, a Chinese-gabled building on the boulevard. Jalen looked it up: yes, it was based on a real place. Now could he please have a go, they’d been road tripping instead of actually playing the game for far too long now.

  “Cool, and how about that one.”

  “It’s a fucking gas station, Herb. I don’t know,” an exasperated Jalen laughed, remembering why he loved and hated spending time with his brother. “Now gimme that.”

  “Just one more, I wanna see how you’ve been living in LA.”

  “Not like this bro,” he chuckled to himself, taking another handful of the chips.

  “Fine, then what’s it like. Do you fuck bitches?”

  “Jesus, Herb.”

  “What?”

  “Not really the language I’d use,” Jalen said. “Girls aren’t bitches. Is that what you guys say at school?”

  “Whatever, man, you know what I mean. You been laying pipe?”

  “Ok, fine,” Jalen gave up, not wanting to fight him on it. Let the parents handle it. “I’m doing fine with the ladies but I think I’ll keep that to myself.”

  “Then I bet you haven’t been having much luck. Sorry, bro,” Herb needled. “Better luck next year I guess.”

  “It’s not that bad,” Jalen said, folding. “I’ve had a few here and there. I’m just not going to discuss my sex life with my brother, now can you hand that over?” He took the controller. And it really hadn’t been bad. He’d met girls at parties, through mutual friends, and one classmate of his, Amber, had even come up behind him to tap his shoulder after class. A little banter, and the two of them had skipped classes for the rest of the day, legs intertwined and laughing smiled spread across their faces as they shook the dorm room twin bed. Besides Amy, Amber had been the only girl he’d fucked who could take the full length of his cock. It was hard to cum when a girl could only take the first several inches, but Amber was incredible. She’d turned onto her belly and lifted her ass for him, begging he pound her as hard as he could. And oh boy he did: she wailed and bit hard on her pillow, her pussy dripping wet to accommodate his deep thrusts. She’d shuddered when he came inside her, the pressure unbearable. He was the first man to make her cum just by plowing her, she’d told him. They’d cuddled and kissed and had a few more sloppy rounds of sex: she’d ridden him, crying out with no pillow to bite on, and he’d held her legs against his chest as she lay on her back taking his long dark length fully into her body. So no, no he would not be discussing his sex with Herb, eager as he may be to know the secrets college girls kept.

  The cars zipped past, the dull colors of the game flashing by as Jalen sped along the loop road. He crashed, his character’s body flying through the windshield and crumpling like a paper doll against the grille of an oncoming truck. He handed the controller back. He’d never had the touch for this; furthermore, he was annoyed that his parents had folded so easily to Herb’s demands for a console when he’d gone without one all through high school. Oh well. Herb took them back toward downtown Los Santos, cruising up to the Vinewood sign and stopping the car.

  “So, Jalen, if you’re not gonna tell me about California girls, then you’d better tell me whether this sign exists in real life.”

  “Not like that it doesn’t. Fuck off and give me the controller back, Herb. Don’t be annoying.” The two brothers continued, falling back into the rhythm siblings have. It was good to be home, Jalen acknowledged, even if he had to put up with this.

  As the evening approached and he waited for his mother to call for dinner Jalen lay on his bed. The blue duvet of his youth was worn, but comforting, bringing with it shards of memories throughout childhood and adolescence. Dark nights of youth when his mother read him a bedtime story and turned off the light as she left the room. Warmer nights, high school nights, when he lay here with Amy and she let him touch her breasts for the first time. She’d wanted him to: “I know I’ll like it. Don’t be nervous,” she’d giggled. Now he flipped through Tinder. All sorts of girls flickered before his eyes: demure book types, edgy artist girls in turtlenecks, girls flaunting their large breasts, girls with cats, athletic girls who could outrun him in any event, girls with dogs. Jalen unconsciously compared each and every one to Amy. Somewhere in the back of his mind he regretted calling it off. He knew she’d gotten together with another guy pretty soon afterwards. Maybe she was happier with him. He was pretty sure his name was Henry. And sure, he’d slept with a few other girls himself. Amber. But he’d compared her to Amy, even then, in the midst of what sex any other freshman boy would kill for. Soon Jalen realized what he was doing, and the comparison became conscious. He put the phone down after a while; he couldn’t bring himself to swipe on any of them.

  Just as his mother called him to dinner Jalen’s phone buzzed. He’d left it lying by his head, worn out from looking through girls he couldn’t want. It was Dev, his best friend from high school.

  —Hey man, I’m throwing a party Saturday at my place. It would be great if you could come. The whole gang’s gonna be there and we can all catch up. Lmk asap I’m buying drinks later.

  FOUR

  True to her word Amy tried her best to search for a summer job. She would rather die than work retail, and she’d rather suffer the humiliation of taking a temporary position under either her mother or father’s offices than work in food service, but she hoped to find something professional, yet not too demanding, for the length of the summer. It was a difficult screen. Nobody wants college freshmen, and beyond that nobody wants college freshman for a semiprofessional role. She clicked on a link for a file clerk at a downtown law firm Kutchensen Howard & Belson. Scrolling through the page she looked the like of the job. They firm handled mostly intellectual property law, not that it mattered when you were filing documents. Amy clicked on the button to apply, and uploader her skimpy resume.

  Back on the main page after submitting her application she let the cover reel run, reading more about the firm. Ideally she would have done this before applying, but it couldn’t hurt now. A man’s face she recognized pop
ped up in the slideshow: Ross Howard, founding partner. Ross has been with KH&B since its founding in 1996. He earned his undergraduate degree in psychology at CUNY and went on to…

  “Shit.” Amy closed her laptop and flopped backward on the bed. She’d just dropped her resume to Jalen’s dad’s law firm. He wouldn’t see it, though, she comforted herself. Surely some receptionist or lower level clerk would scan her resume and reject it out of hand: another unqualified freshman looking for easy money. The gears spun in her head as she fretted, anxiously blowing the problem up in her mind, bigger and bigger with each turn of her brain, like a balloon ready to burst. Questions. Jalen. Worries. Jalen. Job. Jalen. Jalen. Jalen.

  Amy heard the front door open and the quick clomp of her mother’s shoes being kicked from her feet.

  “Amy?” She called out.

  Amy brought herself back to earth. Everything would be fine. She’d find more jobs to apply to later. Plus, she should have some fun for the rest of the day anyway.

  “In here, Mom.”

  “Been up to much today, hon?” Her mother’s voice approached. She came to the doorway, leaning on the frame and surveying her daughter’s room. Amy’s suitcase lay open and empty in the middle of the floor, and Amy lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

  “Not much really just looking for jobs.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You don’t look so great is something wrong?”

  “Nah nothing’s wrong. Just tired.” Amy sat up, propping herself up on her elbows and shaking the worry from her face.

  “Well, tell me when you’re ready if it doesn’t just blow over.”

  “Oh, mom.” Amy laughed. She couldn’t hide anything from her mother.

  “I’m home early, want to do something?” She asked, changing the subject. “Come on, let’s go get some takeout for when your dad get back.”

  New York in May is much nicer than New York in June, but it was already getting hot that time of year. The sun was high in the sky, the longest days of the year rapidly approaching and 5:30 becoming a second noon.

  “Let’s go across the park,” Amy’s mother suggested, putting a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and giving a gentle nudge. “You still look glum, Amy, what’s eating you?”

  “It’s not much Mom, just embarrassing.” They crossed onto the grassy tree-lined paths of Central Park. “I just accidentally applied for a job at Jalen’s dad’s law firm.”

  “Accidentally? Isn’t Howard in the name?”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “Amy, Amy, Amy,” her mother laughed, shaking her head. “I’m sure it won’t matter.”

  “I hope not,” Amy laughed, too, the anxiety dissipating.

  Across the park they came to one of the billion Chinese take-out restaurants in Manhattan and ordered a few of the various combo meals drenched in truly American sauce. Nothing Chinese about it at all, but they didn’t mind.

  “Maybe Jalen could get you that job, Amy,” her mom ribbed. “I think he owes you one anyway.”

  “Mom! He does not. I haven’t talked to him in months.”

  “Oh sweetie I’m just kidding. Can you hold this my phone’s vibrating.” She handed over the paper bag and answered. A business call.

  Looking about the park as they walked Amy took in the sycamore trees, their spotted grey bark like camouflage. People jogged over the footbridges and sat on benches looking out on the ball fields. This whole city had been hers and Jalen’s. No, she would let sleeping dogs lie, no matter how much she missed him. And she acknowledged that she did. Maybe she could have fought harder to keep him: called him up, pleaded. No, she would have seemed desperate. He was an ex, now, nothing more. She would go home, have dinner with her parents, and text her friends. Maybe she’d even meet a cute boy on a night out; you never know.

  Back on her block Amy handed the paper bag back to her mother to check her own phone which had buzzed in her pocket. There was a party going on the next day, a text read. Be there, or be square.

  FIVE

  The bass thumped loud. People had gathered in the several rooms of Dev’s Madison Ave apartment and the drink was flowing. Dev had gotten the good stuff, dark beer from upstate and imported red wine and scotch. He surely intended to throw the finest party of the summer and set it off on the right foot. Friends from high school and Dev’s pals from NYU mingled, and before long the chairs and sofas in the main living room had been shoved aside to clear a dance floor where young bodies moved and gyrated against each other like it was the roaring twenties again. And if anyone were to be our Gatsby, Dev was the man.

  “Got a drink, man?” Dev threw an arm around Jalen. They’d been best friends all through high school, and while they hadn’t talked much that year, the excitement of their new environs distracting both, the bromance had not vanished.

  “Yeah, I’ve been sippin’ all night, Dev, this is great. Fucking amazing party, bro.”

  “Thanks, means a lot,” Dev shot back. “Maybe you can pick up a new girl tonight. I only just heard about you and Amy earlier. You shoulda told me, man.” He gestured to the dancefloor with his free hand, the one that held a long-stemmed glass of wine. “Anyway, there’s plenty of opportunity out there Jalen.”

  “I know,” Jalen said. He smiled at his friend. “I’ll see what I can do. Tell me about NYU, though, you said you wanted to catch up.”

  “Yeah, man it’s been a lot. Honestly it was a hard year for me,” Dev started. “But hey, let’s sit down if we’re gonna do this.”

  The two friends made their way through the mass of people to the kitchen. Others fluttered through to grab drinks, but Jalen and Dev took stools in the corner and nobody interrupted. Jalen poured them both fresh cups of wine.

  “So go on,” he said.

  “Yeah,” Dev looked away. “I’m just not sure I was ready for the pressure, you know? I spent a lot of time partying,” he gestured to his guests. “Not like this, but you know. Still.”

  “I get it,” Jalen wrapped his hands around his cup, resting them on his things pensively. “It was a lot to get used to for me, too. Sorry I wasn’t in touch much, even the little time zone thing threw me. I mean I was busy trying to get my rocks off after breaking it off with Amy.” He took a drink. “And that didn’t go too well.”

  “Awe, sorry man. Women are tricky.”

  “Yeah no shit—”

  Their conversation was interrupted by the opening of the door to the apartment. People had been coming and going all evening, but at the sight of Amy in the doorway Jalen froze. She was beautiful; more beautiful than he remembered, wearing a thing silver chain around her neck that drifted dangerously close to her plump breasts. She wore a low cut black top and an incredibly short red skirt. He could see all of her. The outline of her hips which he used to hold tightly as she rode him. Her nipples through her braless outfit. Her hair was done up in a loose bun, and her eyes flashed over him, too.

  She saw a man she’d lost. His muscular arms and soft brown skin drawing her in with memory and regret. He hadn’t grown less attractive in their time apart; if anything he was more a man than when they’d parted. He’d grown slightly, and between his long powerful legs her eyes found the contours of his bulge.

  “Um, Dev…” Jalen stammered, whispering, suddenly at a loss for words. “I didn’t know Amy was coming.”

  “I mean, we’re friends, man,”

  “Yeah—”

  “Hey, Jalen,” Amy cut in, walking around the kitchen island to the men after taking off her light jacket. “It’s been a while.”

  “Um, yeah, hi” he said, still finding his tongue. “You look really nice, Amy”

  “Thanks,” she said, pulling at the edges of her skirt out of habit. The compliment really did flatter her. Sure, it was awkward, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. “You do, too.”

  “Hi Amy,” Dev said, welcoming her with a hug. And to Jalen: “I’m gonna check on the rest of the party.”


  Jalen’s eyes pleaded with Dev not to leave him standing there with Amy, but Dev didn’t bite. He stepped away, leaving the two looking awkwardly at each other by the cluster of bottles at the side of his kitchen island.

  “So,” Jalen said.

  “Yeah,” Amy replied, awkwardly. “Um, how’s California?”

  “It’s pretty good. Warm. Can’t complain.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Do you have a new boyfriend, Amy?” Perhaps his voice came out sharper than it should have. She flinched.

  “What, you jealous all of a sudden?” She asked defensively. Amy reached for a red cup and poured herself an ample shot of whisky.

  “No, um, I’m sorry. I was just asking.”

  “It’s fine,” Amy replied, downing the drink. “We broke up.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “You?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Ok.” And a moment later. “Ok, sorry I didn’t mean to be aggressive.”

  “It’s fine, neither did I,” Jalen said. The two had gotten that surface tension out of their system. Dance Monkey thumped and rose and fell in the background, almost overshadowed by the loud murmur of the partygoers. “Want a seat, Amy?”

  “You mean sit here and talk with my ex instead of going in and, like, dancing?”

  “I guess.”

  There was a long pause between them. Amy took a sip of her new drink. The air was clouded with differing emotions. Jalen could smell Amy’s perfume, a mix of the sea breeze and the flowers of an open meadow.

  “I mean, sure.” She sat on the stool Dev had vacated, facing him. “So, Jalen, what do you want to say to your ex?” She sipped her drink, meeting his eyes. In that moment she didn’t know what she felt. She’d loved Jalen so much. He’d broken her heart. He seemed so vulnerable here.

  “I don’t know, Amy.” Jalen sat there, moving his cup to his lips but not drinking. “I mean, I’m really sorry about how we left things. I shouldn’t have broken things off like that.”