True Blue

by Connie Bailey

“How did I not know about this?”

  “You’ve been kind of unavailable this year with the paper and the play and stalking people.”

  “Have you missed me?”

  “Actually, yes.”

  “Then I’ll make more of an effort to spend time with you.”

  “Do I have to play Nancy Drew with you?” “Do you want to?”

  Rolly grinned. “Yeah, I do kind of.”

  “Then we’ll definitely be spending more time together.”

  Chapter 6 “Hey,do you have a light?” Blue turned from the view of the nighttime campus spread out below to see who’d joined him on the roof of the theater. Astor Aldrich stopped beside him and held a cigarette to his mouth. Blue flicked his lighter, the sudden brightness throwing Astor’s aquiline nose and full lower lip into stark relief.

  “Thanks,” Astor said. “I quit this summer, but this play is driving me to smoke again.”

  “You’re really…regal as the duke,” Blue said. “When you’re in character, it’s hard to believe it’s you under the fake mustache.”

  “Thanks again. You’re really good as Rosalind.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I mean it. When Peyn first brought you in, I wanted to smack him, but you’re really good.”

  “So I make a good girl, huh?”

  “Not exactly. I don’t think you could pass for a woman, if that’s what you mean. But you do say the lines with the feelings I imagine Rosalind would have, especially when you’re speaking as Ganymede.”

  “Um, thanks,” Blue mumbled.

  “I mean it. Some people at this school might give you a hard time because of the way you look, but I think it’s cool that you do your own thing.”

  “Give me a break. You’re like the most conservative guy here. Isn’t your dad on the board of trustees?”

  “He’s the head, but so what? Does that make my opinion less credible?”

  “No, I was just surprised.”

  “Cool. Sometimes I get pissed off about the whole Prince of the Preppies thing. I didn’t get a choice about the family I was born into, you know.”

  Blue hesitated a moment before he replied. It was so strange to be having a normal conversation with Astor Aldrich. “I was coerced into acting, but the more I do it, the more I like it.”

  “Wait until you hear your first applause and know those people are clapping for you.”

  “Um, I don’t know if I’ll like that part or not. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m terrified of performing in front of an audience. Peyn seems to think I’ll go on autopilot once the play starts, but I don’t know.”

  “We’re doing enough rehearsal that you should be able to play this role in your sleep.”

  Blue smiled. “It’s kind of fun in a weird way, playing a girl playing a boy.”

  Astor smiled back. “I like the way you put that. Hey, do you drink coffee?”

  “I used to live on black coffee and cigarettes.”

  “My sister sent me some Kona beans from Hawaii. Why don’t you stop by my room sometime and I’ll make a pot?”

  “If I have time,” Blue said vaguely, and headed for the door to the stairwell. “We should probably get back before Peyn comes looking for us.”

  “Yeah, I guess we should. I just wanted you to know that it’s fun working with you,” Astor said, as he followed Blue down the short flight of stairs.

  “Yeah, you too.” Blue looked over his shoulder and smiled as he reached the bottom of the steps. Peyton looked up from a sketch of a new background for the rustic cottage and his heart felt like the fish must feel when the hook sinks in deep. Then Astor emerged from the stairwell and Peyton’s fist clenched, crumpling the piece of paper. There was no mistaking the interest in the look the other two young men exchanged, even if they didn’t realize the significance of it. Peyton thought his head might literally explode. It was too rich that Heydn would throw Blue away just so Astor Aldrich could pick him up. That was like going from the trailer park to the palace in one swoop. And once again, Peyton was on the outside looking in.

  “Hey, Blue,” Peyton said, as practice broke up. “Can you hang around for a minute?”

  “Sure.” Blue put his backpack down and waited until the rest of the cast was gone. “What’s up? Do you have some new pages for me?”

  “No, I want to apologize. I acted like an ass when you were with Heydn. I understand why you had to pull back from me, but if you ever wanted to be friends again, I’d be honored.”

  “You know, it’s pretty cool that you never said ‘I told you so.’”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “Because you were right. You tried to warn me and I shut you down.”

  “I would rather have been wrong than see you hurt.”

  Blue’s head drooped, but he didn’t speak.

  “I’m sorry,” Peyton said.

  “Thanks. I thought I was going to die for a couple of days, but when that didn’t happen, I got on with what I had to do. As long as I’m in class or at rehearsal or painting scenery, I’m okay.”

  “I wanted to be there for you, but I didn’t think my sympathy would be welcome.”

  “I appreciate you leaving me alone. And I appreciate that you tried to save me, but honestly, I was so in love with him that I wouldn’t have listened to anyone.”

  “I can’t blame you for wanting to be loved.”

  Blue’s chin dropped to his chest and his hair fell forward, throwing his face into shadow. “I loved him so much. I gave him everything and he…”

  “You don’t have to tell me,” Peyton said.

  Blue took a deep breath. “He said he outgrew me, not in so many words.”

  “That son of a bitch. So you were just an experiment to him?”

  “That’s what he said.”

  “That dumb son of a bitch. I almost feel sorry for him. He threw away the best thing that will ever happen to him and he’s going to spend the rest of his life in denial.”

  “You’re actually cheering me up.”

  Tentatively, Peyton reached out and squeezed Blue’s shoulder. “Just don’t cry,” he said. “Not only will you look like a raccoon, but I’ll start crying too and that’s not a pretty sight.” Peyton’s kind touch undid Blue. His tears started to fall and he couldn’t seem to turn them off. When Peyton put gentle arms around him, Blue put his head on Peyton’s shoulder and let the weeping run its course. Tenderly, Peyton rested his head against Blue’s and held him until his sobs abated.

  “Thanks,” Blue said, as he pulled back. He wiped at his face with his sleeves and looked at Peyton. “How bad is it?”

  Peyton tried not to laugh, but couldn’t hold it in. “I’m sorry,” he said, with his hand over his mouth. “But you look hilarious. Here.” He held out his compact mirror.

  Blue looked at his red-and-white-blotched face and swollen eyes ringed with smudgy black and a smile broke out. “What a mess.”

  “If we were doing Macbeth, you’d make a great witch.”

  “I’ve missed your smart-ass remarks.”

  “You don’t have to. It’s not like me to beg, but I’d really, really like us to be friends again.”

  “Me, too.”

  A short silence was broken by Peyton. “I really missed you at Halloween. The party at Giddie’s was off the rails. Twelve people came dressed as a dragon.”

  “I was planning on being there, but I had the big fight with Heydn and I just didn’t feel like going out after that.”

  “Can I ask what the fight was about?”

  “My Halloween costume, supposedly. He thought it was too slutty.”

  “Asshole.”

  “I don’t know. I think he’s just…confused about a lot of stuff.”

  “Are you actually making excuses for the jerk that broke your heart? Don’t you hate him?”

  “I want to, but I just can’t. I’m mad as hell sometimes and sometimes I hurt so much that I just want to disappear, but I don’t want revenge or anything l
ike that.”

  “I would. I’d want to hurt him as bad as he hurt me.”

  “I don’t want to hurt Heydn.”

  “You’re too good,” Peyton said. “Hey, it’s not too late. Why don’t we catch the bus and go get a smoothie or something?”

  Blue shook his head. “Not tonight, okay? I’m tired and I still don’t have scene three by heart.”

  “Another time then.”

  “Let’s plan on it after rehearsal tomorrow.”

  “Fine,” Peyton said casually, as if it didn’t mean the world to him.

  Blue shouldered his backpack and headed for the exit. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Hey,” Peyton called as Blue pushed open the door. “What were you going to be for Halloween?”

  “I made a Kat Kaoru costume. Combat mode.”

  Peyton swallowed, picturing the skintight black clothing on Blue’s lithe frame. “Ears and all?”

  “Of course. I said combat mode, didn’t I?”

  “I’d love to see it sometime.”

  “You might have to wait for a year, unless an anime convention comes up within traveling distance.”

  “Maybe we could have our own con at Acton.”

  “You’re a lunatic,” Blue said, as he went out the door. “I like that.” Peyton basked for a few moments in the warmth of the renewed friendship and then went to collect his laptop and master script. Mr. McIntyre had been very good about leaving the student production to the students, only dropping in a couple of times a week to check on their progress. Peyton was enjoying the chance to stretch his creative impulses and the unlimited access to the theater department’s resources. He’d been joking with Blue about holding an anime convention, but the idea lodged in his brain like a piece of grit in an oyster. By the time he reached his dorm, the notion had grown layer by layer into a concept for a play. Flipping open his laptop, he began to type.

  Chapter 7

  “Areyou ready?” Peyton reached out and adjusted one of Blue’s cascading ringlets.

  “This wig is heavy and hot.”

  “It’s definitely hot,” Astor Aldrich said as he arrived backstage.

  “Eat me,” Blue said automatically, as he’d responded to everyone’s comments on his first appearance in full costume and makeup.

  “Have you got a spoon?” Astor replied. “Where’s your hat?” Peyton asked before Blue could speak again. He loathed it when Blue and Astor got into one of their little banter sessions. The sexual tension made him want to scream at them to just go get a room and get it over with. In the interests of cast morale, he was not above using his power as director to nip the repartee in the bud. If anyone were going to be witty, it would be him.

  “Buckles is putting another feather on it,” Astor said, smoothing his false mustache.

  “Stop touching that,” Peyton barked. “And you,” he turned to Blue. “Leave the wig alone.”

  “It seriously itches under there.”

  Peyton took a mechanical pencil from an inside pocket. “Here. Use this to scratch with. Carefully.”

  “It’s just the dress rehearsal, Crane,” Astor said. “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

  “Yes it fucking well does, Aldrich.”

  “Easy, Peyn,” Blue said. “It’s too early to blow a fuse. Wait until the third act at least.”

  “It would just be nice if everyone in this production shared my commitment to excellence.”

  Astor snorted. “You should be on stage.”

  “Why would I want to act when I can use actors as my puppets?”

  “Are you trying to piss me off?”

  “We’re all nervous,” Blue said. “I’m going to go get some water and look at my first lines again.”

  “I guess I’ll go see if my hat’s ready,” Astor said.

  “Good,” Peyton said. “Sorry I got sharp with you. I just want this play to be a success.”

  Astor nodded. “No harm done. I’ll be right back.” Peyton asked Blue to bring him a bottle of water and went to peek around the curtain at the token audience of stage crew, musicians, and Mr. McIntyre. He took a few calming breaths and reminded himself not to make the mistake he’d made with Heydn. Bad-mouthing Astor would only drive Blue away again. Maybe Blue would never love Peyton the way Peyton loved him, but Peyton would go on loving him anyway and he still wanted to be part of his life. If that meant he had to smile occasionally through a cute story about something Astor said or did, then he would swallow that bitter pill wrapped in the sweetness of Blue’s company.

  The dress rehearsal went well with only a few minor hitches that could easily be fixed before tomorrow night. While most of the cast was getting out of costume, Blue hurried out the rear exit and lit a cigarette. Looking up at the stars, he blew a long plume of smoke in a relieved sigh.

  “I thought you quit that nasty habit.”

  Blue’s blood froze in his veins and it took a monumental effort to turn his head and look at Heydn. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his lips cold and stiff.

  “Takin’ a shortcut to the lakeshore path.” Heydn paused. “God, look at you.”

  “I’m in costume for the dress rehearsal.”

  “I figured. How can you humiliate yourself like this?”

  “What do you care?”

  “Of course I care. Do you think I can just stop carin’ about you? What kind of person would that make me? I just can’t be with you.”

  “Then what I do is none of your business.”

  “There are people at this school that might make it their business.” “I can’t believe you’re threatening me.” Blue blinked, willing his tears not to fall. “All I’ve wanted since you walked away from me is a chance to talk to you, to try and find a way to get you back, and now that we’re talking, I remember why you walked out and I know that nothing I say will make a difference.”

  “That’s because you’re smart.” Heydn paused and finally looked Blue in the eyes. “We had a lot of fun together though, didn’t we?”

  Blue drew breath to answer, but was interrupted by a shout from the south corner of the building.

  “Hey, Case!” Logan yelled again. “Allie’s here. Move your ass.”

  “Guess you’d better get that ass moving,” Blue said, throwing down his cigarette. He suddenly couldn’t stand the taste and ground it out viciously with the toe of his dainty slipper.

  “We’re goin’ on a run.”

  “So run.”

  “Case, what the hell are you doing?” Allerton shouted. “No time for a hand job, bro. Come on!”

  Blue opened the back door, gathering his skirt with one hand. He stepped on the hem anyway and stumbled, going down on one knee and banging his head against the doorframe. “Sorry, Case,” Allerton called. “I didn’t know you were getting a blowjob. Take your time.” Heydn hurried to where Allerton and Logan stood as Blue got slowly to his feet. “Come on; let’s go,” he said.

  Allerton led the way past the barn to the beginning of the bridle path. “Just what were you doing back there?” he asked as they started jogging.

  “I forgot a couple of things when I switched rooms.”

  “Things like your sperm bank?” Logan snickered.

  “Shut up, Logan,” Allerton said. “Did you remember to invite Heydn to the party?”

  “It slipped my mind.” Allerton smacked the back of Logan’s head. “Here’s what’s happening,” he said. “Logan’s girlfriend is back at her daddy’s place and he’s off skiing with some bunny that’s about a year older than her. She’s understandably pissed and needs help destroying his liquor cabinet. She’ll pick us up, but she can only take four and I’ve included you.”

  “Thanks. Sounds like a blast.”

  “Bennie’s going to try and get some of her friends to show up, too,” Logan said.

  “Finally, some pussy.” Allerton patted his crotch. “Wake up, boy; the bitches are coming.”

  “Just remember; they’re not all nymphos like Bennie.” />
  “Are you really going to marry her?”

  “Hell, yes. First of all because of the aforementioned nymphoism. Secondly, because Bennington Shoshanna Kaplan is richer than I am, and third, because it will royally piss off my mom.”

  “Nymphomania,” Heydn said.

  “What?”

  “The condition is called nymphomania, not nymphoism.”

  “I don’t give a shit,” Logan said. “I’ve got a lifetime pass on the debutante ride.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Yeah, I guess. She’s hot in a Jewish princess kind of way. Nice tits. She throws a hissy once in a while, but I figure I’ll buy her a diamond bracelet or whatnot and the meat curtains will open again.”

  “I can tell you have a lot of respect for her and women in general.” Allerton slapped Heydn on the back. “Hey, bro. No teasing of the Logan. He’s not equipped to fight back, you know?”

  Neither are your victims,was on the tip of Heydn’s tongue, but he didn’t say it. “Maybe he needs to go back to the shallow end of the pool then.”

  Allerton laughed. “You’re a pistol, Case, as my daddy would say. You should meet him sometime. He’d like you.”

  “I’d like to meet him.”

  “Yeah? Then you’ll have to come home with me for Thanksgiving. Unless you already have plans.”

  “No plans. I’d love to have Thanksgiving with your family.”

  “Then it’s settled. I’ll call Mumsy and tell her to tell the staff to put out another plate.”

  “What about me?” Logan asked.

  “You can come if you want to, but I thought you were going to Cancun with Bennie.”

  “Guess she’d be pissed if I blew her off.”

  “Probably,” Allerton said. “And you’re starting to lag already. Come on; let’s pick up the pace.” The three young men increased their speed and conversation ceased until they finished the run. Heydn said goodnight to the other two and headed for his dorm. He felt pretty low for not standing up for Blue, and even lower for not giving him a hand when he tripped, but to offset his guilt was the promise of a Thanksgiving holiday with the King family. He would finally walk into one of the mansions of the people his mom worked for and as a guest, a friend, an equal.

  “Hey, whoa,” Astor said, as Blue brushed past him. “Peyton’s been looking for you.”