True Blue

by Connie Bailey

  Blue kept walking toward the dressing room and Astor followed. The rest of the cast had finished changing and Blue and Astor were the only two in the room.

  “Are you going to the dress rehearsal party?” Astor asked as Blue shucked his gown and put it on a hanger. “I hear there’s free pizza.”

  “I’m not hungry. I’d just like to change in peace, okay?”

  “You want me to go?”

  Blue leaned on the dresser, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t know what I want,” he mumbled.

  “You were very good in rehearsal tonight.” Astor paused. “Can I help you get your makeup off or something?”

  Blue looked up when Astor stopped next to him. “Could you just get the wig off?”

  “Sure.” Astor concentrated on removing pins, giving himself time to absorb the shock of seeing tears in the other young man’s eyes. He had the nearly overwhelming urge to put his arms around Blue and hold him close. “Man, Thomas put this thing on to stay,” he said, just to be saying something. “Tell me about it,” Blue said as he began slathering cold cream over his stage makeup.

  “You don’t look like you’re up for a celebration.”

  “Not really. I’m kind of tired, in fact.”

  “Not surprising. Dress rehearsal is a very stressful experience. You need to unwind, but maybe being around a bunch of people isn’t the best idea.”

  “No, I’d rather just go home and lay down.”

  “Can I get you anything to make you more comfortable?” Astor asked as he put the wig on a stand. “Aspirin? Caffeine?”

  The thought of a hot cup of something sounded very appealing. “I wouldn’t mind some coffee.”

  “Then come with me and I’ll brew you a cup of heaven.”

  “You got a new bag of beans,” Blue guessed as he finished cleaning off the last of the pancake.

  “From Sumatra. Very dark and smoky flavor.”

  “Sometimes you sound like you’re forty years old…and doing a commercial.”

  “You take that back.” Blue smiled and Astor felt like a cloud shadow had passed letting the sunshine return. “Come on,” he said. “Get dressed and let’s get out of here.” The two young men left the building by a side door and no one saw them except Rolly, returning to look for Blue again at Peyton’s behest. Blue and Astor kept walking past the sidewalk that would take them to Mr. McIntyre’s on-campus cottage where the pizza party was being held. They went up the path to the dorms and Rolly went back to the party.

  “You got a mini-fridge,” Blue said as soon as they entered Astor’s room.

  “Yeah. My mother thinks I’m going to starve here and keeps sending me food.”

  “That’s nice.” “It’d be even nicer if she sent things I like now, instead of things I liked when I was ten.” Astor went to the table that held his coffeemaker and ground some beans. In a few minutes, the aroma of fresh coffee permeated the room. Astor poured two cups and brought one to Blue. “Have a seat,” he said, sinking down to the floor.

  Blue sat cross-legged and sipped his coffee. “Good,” he approved.

  “You want some cookies or something? Mom sent a box of assorted shortbread.” “Sure.” Astor opened a large tin and Blue picked out a couple of cookies. The rich, buttery shortbread melted in Blue’s mouth and was the perfect complement to the dark-chocolate taste of the coffee.

  “Really good,” he said as he finished a third cookie.

  Astor smiled. “You’ve got some crumbs on your upper lip,” he said, leaning close. Blue froze as the other young man put a hand on his shoulder and brushed their lips together. The soft warmth felt good, but he couldn’t quite believe that Astor Aldrich was kissing him. Never during the time they had rehearsed or the few times they’d hung out had Blue ever suspected that Astor was gay.

  “Sorry,” Astor said, as he pulled back. “But at least I got those crumbs.”

  “Astor…”

  “It’s okay. I just don’t turn you on, that’s all.”

  “Are you going to give up that easily?”

  Astor cocked his head, gray eyes gleaming in the scant light. “Are you daring me?”

  “Would it help?”

  “I’m no good at this. Just tell me if you want me to kiss you or not.”

  “I’d like it if you kissed me again. I’ll be ready this time.”

  “I’m glad you’re not freaking out. I thought maybe you’d be into it, but I wasn’t sure.”

  “I thought the whole campus knew I was gay.”

  “I don’t listen to gossip.” Astor grinned. “Well, I do listen to gossip, but I don’t give it any weight.” Blue leaned forward and closed the gap between them. As gently as he preferred a first kiss to be, he covered Astor’s mouth and moved his lips subtly, as if tasting an elusive flavor. Astor opened his eyes as the kiss ended and smiled at Blue.

  “That was really nice,” he said, as he cupped a hand at the back of Blue’s head. “My turn.” Blue put his arms around Astor as the other young man took his lips, feeling the tip of Astor’s tongue and opening to him. Their tongues slid together and heat filled Blue’s skin like helium in a balloon. Abruptly, he couldn’t wait to sample all of Astor.

  “Whoa,” Astor said as Blue grabbed for his crotch. “You in a hurry?”

  “I’m very horny. Is that a problem?” “Hell no!” Astor wrapped his arms around Blue and kissed him again as they groped each other. Lips and tongues and fingers were everywhere, moving feverishly, seeking pleasure in every nook and cranny. Mostly they found it and things came to the predictable conclusion very quickly. “Damn!” Astor breathed, as Blue let Astor’s sated cock slide from between his lips. He stopped stroking Blue’s shaft, slippery with the seed Blue had squirted a few seconds ago. Pulling the other young man up into his arms, Astor fell back onto the futon. “Damn,” he said again.

  “So it was good?” Blue asked, arranging himself so he could pull his underwear up.

  “Hell yes. Hey, what are you doing?”

  “Just covering up a little.”

  “Well, don’t, okay? I want to look at you.” Feeling a little self-conscious, Blue left his briefs where they were, hobbling his ankles, and lay back. Astor propped himself on one elbow and gazed down at Blue. Lightly, he traced the curve of Blue’s softening cock with one finger and stirred the dark curls of his pubic patch. Blue repressed the urge to laugh when Astor stuck a fingertip in his belly button, but when the fingers trailed over his ribs, he couldn’t hold it in. “I’m a little ticklish,” he confessed.

  “You’re beautiful,” Astor said. Astor’s words were sweet, but Blue wanted to hear them spoken in someone else’s voice, a voice with a hint of Texas twang. When Astor burrowed a hand between Blue’s thighs and worked his fingers into the crack, Blue fidgeted. Astor took the hint and stopped.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to trespass.”

  “No big deal. I just don’t feel like doing anything else right now.”

  “Hey, I’m not complaining.”

  “Should we just be hanging out like this? What about your roomie?”

  “Rhodes will stay after the party and help Mr. McIntyre clean up. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  “Peyn thinks Rhodes has the hots for Mr. McIntyre.”

  “Rhodes is as straight as the straightest thing you can think of, but he is a bit of a brown-noser.”

  “I never would have guessed you were gay.”

  “I’m not sure I what I am, but I sure like doing what we just did.”

  “You may be the sanest person I know.”

  “You’ve got to stop insulting me, or I won’t do this again.” Astor gently stroked Blue’s cock.

  “I should go,” Blue said, sitting up. “Peyn’s feelings will be hurt if I don’t check in with him before I go to bed.”

  “What’s the deal with you two?” Astor said, moving over so Blue could climb off the futon.

  “What do you mean? We’re friends.” “You’re not fuck
buddies?”

  Blue looked up from fastening his trousers. “What?”

  “I can see by your stunned expression that the answer is no.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “It’s not that far-fetched. You’re two gay guys isolated in the wilds of New England and he’s got the biggest crush on you.”

  “Get out. He does not.”

  “How could you not notice?” “Peyn likes older men. He’s having some kind of kinky thing with a junior law partner at his dad’s firm. His dad has been having an affair with his mom’s best friend for years and his mom is doing it with her yoga instructor. His family is pretty wiggy.”

  “Mine’s boring. Would you like to meet them?”

  “You make it sound like so much fun.”

  “Seriously though, I’m going home for Thanksgiving. Want to come with?”

  “I don’t know. I usually stay here during holidays. I like Acton when there’s no one around.”

  “Think about it, okay?”

  “I will.” Blue looked around to see if anything had fallen out of his backpack. “I should go. It’s after eleven.”

  “Can we do this again sometime?”

  “No guarantees, but probability is high.”

  “I won’t be pushy, but I really want to be with you again.” Blue stopped fussing with a buckle and looked at the other young man. “In light of what just happened, this is going to sound stupid, but we don’t really know each other that well. I kind of got carried away tonight and I had a good time; don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want to rush into anything.”

  “I’d like to know you better. Come home with me for Thanksgiving. I’ll tell you all about myself.”

  “I’d like to know you better, too.” Blue grimaced. “God, this is such a soap opera line, but it’s the truth. I just broke up with someone and I’m not ready to be with anyone else yet.”

  “Yeah, I thought it might be something like that. I thought you and Peyton had a falling out or something from the way you both were acting.”

  “He didn’t like my choice in men.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t. He wouldn’t like any man you chose unless it was him.”

  “I’m telling you, you’re wrong about that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Big day,” Astor said, as Blue went to the door. “We have our premiere tomorrow night.”

  “Really? I forgot.”

  Astor laughed. “See you tomorrow.” Blue slipped out the door and went upstairs to his room. Quickly, he changed into fresh clothes and hurried back out. In less than ten minutes, he was walking across the quad toward the row of cottages. There were still several members of the cast and crew at Mr. McIntyre’s, listening to music and wired on diet soda. It wasn’t hard to find Peyton, who was holding forth in the kitchen. Among his audience was the Drama Club sponsor, listening intently. When Peyton took a breath, Mr. McIntyre spoke up.

  “I agree with you in principle, Peyton, but the methods you advocate would make you no better than those you call Philistines.”

  “True, but I’d just like to see how they like it when the boot is on the other foot.”

  “I’m sure that would be satisfying, however briefly, but it’s still not the civilized way to handle a problem. We’re not cavemen, after all.”

  Someone in the crowd hooted like an ape and a spate of snickers broke out. “That’s exactly the response I was expecting,” Peyton said, as he caught sight of Blue. “You may not think this affects you because you’re not homosexual, but it’s the kind of thing that spreads. I’m talking to you, Sebastian Wong. What if the preps decide they don’t like Asians?”

  “I’ll go kamikaze on their asses,” Sebastian Wong laughed.

  “Bastian,” Mr. McIntyre reproved. “That’s a completely inappropriate thing to say.”

  Peyton sidled around the kitchen table until he met up with Blue. “I think we can count on Mr. McIntyre to continue fighting the good fight. Where have you been?”

  “I felt a little sick after rehearsal and I went to lie down.” Blue lied without thinking twice about it. For some reason, he didn’t want to tell Peyton about Astor.

  “Nerves,” Peyton said. “You got through rehearsal fine though. You’ll do great tomorrow night.”

  “I hope so. Everyone has worked so hard; I don’t want to be the one to ruin it all.”

  “You won’t. You’re good, Blue. You really are.”

  “Thanks, but if everything goes right, it’ll be because you pulled it all together.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere. What shall we do to celebrate the premiere?” “Well, there’s the cast party.”

  Peyton made a noise with his lips and tongue. “Lame. I was thinking we should go somewhere after.”

  “Somewhere like Giddie’s?”

  “Somewhere exactly like that.”

  “Let’s see how it goes. We might be too tired to go into Eastburn.”

  “Fine. By the way, where did you go to lie down? You weren’t in your room.”

  “No, I…. I went to…” “You’re the worst liar. Come here.” Peyton pulled Blue into the hall. “I couldn’t fail to notice that Astor looks at you the way a dog looks at an unattended steak. Since you’re not with Heydn anymore, you’re a free agent and you can see whoever you want.”

  “I’m not seeing him.”

  “Let me rephrase then; you can get busy with whoever you want.”

  “You don’t have anything negative to say about him?”

  “At least he’s not a jock.”

  Blue smiled. “Come on. Walk me home.”

  “Sure.” Peyton led the way out to the tiny porch and they walked away side by side.

  “So you knew Astor wanted to get with me? Because I was surprised as hell.”

  “You take people at face value, Blue. It’s part of your charm, but it’s really naïve.”

  “I’m not naïve.”

  “Okay, you’re not naïve. Listen, I’ve been writing this play and…”

  “What? How did you keep this a secret?”

  “I wanted to be sure I could write it before I told anyone about the idea. It’s too good to just throw out there. It deserves just the right words.”

  “Do I get to read it?”

  “Before anyone else. I want you to play the main character.”

  “Can you tell me his…or her name?”

  Peyton smiled. “Foxboy.” “Foxboy?”

  “That’s his name.”

  “Now I’ll be consumed with curiosity,” Blue said as they walked into the dorm. “When can I read it?”

  “Soon, I think.”

  “Well, I can’t wait.” Blue stopped at the staircase. “Goodnight, Peyn.”

  “Sweet dreams, fairest Rosalind.” Blue laughed and waved at Peyton over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs. It was funny how life just went on and on like an infinite set of steps. He kept doing things. He got up in the morning. He put on clothes. He ate. He went to classes. He acted in the play. He cried. He painted scenery. He smoked. He watched videos. He laughed. He sucked Astor’s dick. He slept. None of it meant anything because he didn’t share it with Heydn. He wondered if it would be like this for the rest of his life, or if it would eventually fade like the deaths of his parents. It had taken years and years, but the sharp pain of loss and even the dull empty aching had diminished over time. He hoped it wouldn’t take as long to get over Heydn, but he hurt as badly as if someone close to him had died. As always, just before he fell asleep, he admitted to himself what he really hoped. He hoped that this was all a long and terrible nightmare and he would wake in Heydn’s arms.

  Chapter 8

  Onthe night that the Drama Club’s very well-received production ofAs You Like It premiered, Heydn Case was a hundred miles away at a multi-millionaire’s so-called cabin. The split-level stone and timber chalet had eight bedrooms and every convenience known to man. Music poured from the sound system controlled by a panel that al
so regulated the lighting, the temperature, the window shades, and who knew what else. Heydn had already drunk two beers he’d never heard of before and been in the pool and the hot tub. He’d just finished drying off and was pulling on his jeans when someone opened the guest-room door and walked in.

  “Woopsie!” Robin Douglas said as her gaze headed south. “Nice six-pack.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be dressed in a second and you can have the room.” “Is that Case?” Allerton called from the hallway. “Robin, quit blocking the door.”

  Robin moved and Allerton came in with his arm around a petite blonde girl. “Heydn, did you meet Clarissa? This is Clarissa Albright. She’s twenty.”

  “Hi,” Heydn said. “Is the party moving in here?”

  Allerton held up a bottle of liquor. “Here’s your second clue,” he said, as he deposited the wobbly blonde co-ed on the bed. “Clarissa wants some action and who am I to deny her?”

  Heydn picked up his shirt and his wet towel. “I’ll clear out,” he said.

  “Why?” Allerton asked, looking up from his task of removing Clarissa’s pastel angora sweater. “She doesn’t care. In fact, why don’t you and Robin get down? This bed’s plenty big enough.”

  Robin raised an eyebrow at Heydn. “Sounds like fun to me,” she said.

  “Yeah, it does,” Heydn said. “But I’m starving.”

  “What a dweeb,” Allerton said. “Hey, Robin. You want to play with me and Clarissa?”

  Robin grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head to reveal a tanned, trim body in matching red bra and panties. “Good timing. The ecstasy kicked in about five minutes ago,” she said.

  “Heydn,” Allerton called from the bed. “How can you walk away from this?” “I seriously need to get some food in me, bro. I’ll be back.” Heydn went downstairs and filled a plate from the table piled with snacks. He strolled around while he ate, keeping on the move until he saw Allerton return to the party. When they met up later, Heydn excused himself by saying he’d gotten into a game of pool. Allerton told him he was a sucker and smacked him on the head.

  “Listen,” Allerton said. “Clarissa needs a favor. She drove her dad’s car up here and she’s too wasted to drive it back and it has to be there when he gets up in the morning. You never drink much so I thought you could drop it off. Bennie’s going to take the rest of us to the bus station. Here’s a hundred. Call a cab to bring you back to school.”