True Blue

by Connie Bailey

  “What?”

  “I haven’t thought it through that far yet. Don’t make me have to come up with some fiendish revenge.”

  “Fair enough. I did come here to be near Blue. I’m pretty sure you’re right and I don’t have a hope in hell of even getting him to talk nicely to me, but I don’t know what else to do.”

  Peyton narrowed his eyes, glaring at Heydn for a long moment. “The maddening thing is that you’d make a perfect Primus. I need you in my play.”

  “So I can stay?”

  “Until you screw up.”

  “That shouldn’t take long.”

  “Here’s your script. Don’t lose it. We’re here every day starting at five. I hope that won’t interfere with any of your other activities.”

  “I quit the track team.”

  “Do tell.”

  Heydn shrugged. “I had questions about their ethics.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “What do you care?” “Good point. Okay, I’m done with you.”

  “One question?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Am I the villain?”

  Peyton smiled and Heydn had his answer. Heydn nodded and went to find a corner to start memorizing his lines. Astor arrived from a student council meeting and nearly collided with Heydn on his way out.

  “What the hell’s he doing here?” Astor asked Peyton.

  “Case has graciously consented to take the part of Primus.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

  Astor glanced over at Blue. “I wonder what sparked Case’s interest in the theater.”

  Peyton snorted. “I almost feel sorry for him.”

  “I don’t. It’s going to cause quite a bit of tension having him around.”

  “I took that into consideration. I trust my actors to channel their emotions into their performances.”

  “You’re very slick, Peyton.”

  “May I take that as a compliment?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “While we’re talking, I’d like to see a little more arrogance in your portrayal of Big Teddy. It’s true that he’s the nicest guy in the play next to Foxboy, but he’s still an entitled heir of the elite class.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. Any more surprises?”

  Peyton shook his head and Astor went to where Blue was putting tools away at the side of the stage. Astor knelt and began helping.

  “You look awfully elegant in that vest.”

  Blue smiled without looking at Astor. “It was a Christmas present,” he said.

  “From someone with good taste obviously.”

  “Obviously.” Blue closed the toolbox and stood. “That muffler looks great with your jacket.”

  “A close personal friend gave it to me.” “Closeand personal?”

  “Very.” Blue smiled again, glad to see Astor in a playful mood. Since Christmas, Astor had been vacillating between buoyant hours filled with exuberant sex and plans for the future, and hours when he seemed to disappear into his thoughts, remote and uncommunicative. Blue had tried to talk to Astor, guessing that the trouble involved Mr. Aldrich, but Astor denied it. He blamed his moodiness on the recurrence of his asthma and Blue backed off, trusting Astor to talk when he was ready.

  “Did you see Heydn?” Astor asked as he walked with Blue to the storage room.

  “Yeah. It was unexpected, to say the least.”

  “Are you okay with it?”

  “It’s not my decision.” Blue set the toolbox on a shelf and turned the light off.

  “Want to hang out in here for a while?” Astor put a hand on Blue’s nape and massaged gently.

  “No time. We have practice and then we have to get the dining hall ready for the Founders’ party.”

  Astor stopped before they reached the area where the rest of the cast was gathering. “Are you sure it won’t bother you to have Heydn here?”

  “It’ll bother me, but we need him. Don’t worry about it. I’m a trouper.” Blue paused. “Is it going to bother you?”

  “It already does, but I won’t let it affect the play.”

  “Me either.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t handle it.”

  “We’ll just have to see. Come on. Peyn’s giving us the evil eye.” Practice started with Heydn’s introduction to the rest of the cast and then he was plunged into the thick of it. Peyton showed no mercy, but although Heydn had to read his lines, everyone was impressed with the presence he gave the character of Primus. Heydn took Peyton’s direction to act like the top predator in the food chain and translated it into a menacing stance and a flat hard-edged tone. Grudgingly, Peyton included him in the praise at the end.

  “You’re actually good as Primus.”

  “Don’t hurt yourself,” Heydn said. “You don’t have to be nice to me.” “No, I don’t, but you’re part of the cast now and your morale is my business. So in my own best interests, I’m going to tell you when you’re doing a good job. There’s not really anything you can do about it as long as I’m in charge.”

  “Yeah. I figured you’d enjoy having some power over me.”

  “Don’t you dare analyze me. I’ll take you to school, cow kicker.”

  “You’re so sure you’re smarter than everybody else, aren’t you?”

  “It’s useless to argue with the self-evident.”

  “Yeah, well, being clever doesn’t mean you’ve got any sense.”

  “This is too tiresome,” Peyton said.

  “Quitting already?”

  “Please. That’s fourth-grade rhetoric. Why don’t you just come out and call me chicken?”

  “What’s going on over here?” Blue asked, stopping by Peyton’s side.

  “Just going over some things with the new boy.”

  “Normally, he’d give the new boy’s things a going-over,” Heydn said.

  “The new boy is sassy,” Peyton continued.

  “Add it to his list of bad habits,” Blue said. “We need to get over to the dining hall and finish decorating.”

  “Whoa,” Heydn said. “I’d like to know more about this list of bad habits.”

  “Are you sure you have time? It’s kind of long.”

  “Cute,” Heydn said. “What’s number one?”

  “You’re a hypocrite,” Blue fired his worst insult. “Then let’s introduce Mr. Kettle to Mr. Pot. You call me a hypocrite for joining the track team, yet you hang out with Astor Aldrich, a guy that you used to refer to as the Prince of the Preppies. What’s the difference between us?”

  “You don’t know anything about Astor.” “Look,” Heydn said point-blank. “I know I’m not as good as Astor and I never will be, but I love you. I wish I was someone better, but I’m not. You’d be a fool to take me back when you could have him. All I can tell you is that I love you. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

  Whatever Blue had been expecting Heydn to say,I love you was not among the possibilities. He stood in silence, staring at Heydn like a sleepwalker hearing his name.

  “Blue,” Peyton said, a warning note in his voice. “Don’t you dare; don’t you even think about it. Bailing him out was bad enough. I won’t let you make this mistake again.”

  “You won’tlet me?” Blue glanced at Peyton. “Maybe I phrased it badly.”

  “Maybe you should butt out of a private conversation.”

  “Blue, don’t be an idiot.”

  “Peyn, don’t judge me.”

  Peyton mimed zipping his lips and walked away, but not so far that he couldn’t keep an eye on Blue and Heydn.

  “Before you say anything,” Heydn said, “did you bail me out of jail?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  “Peyton told me you’d been arrested and I really didn’t even think about it. I just called a lawyer and arranged it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I didn’t do it because I wanted your gratitude.”


  “So I can eliminate gratitude from the list of possible reasons?”

  “Don’t be funny.”

  “To paraphrase our director, Iamfunny and there’s not much you can do about it.”

  “I can leave.”

  “It’s what I deserve.” Heydn paused. “But I wish you’d stay.”

  “Where do you get the balls to say something like that?”

  “I don’t know. I swear I don’t, but I’m a desperate man.”

  “Cut it out. Seriously.”

  “I’ll try, but I can’t help how you affect me.”

  “I’m leaving.” Blue turned and saw Astor waiting by the door.

  “Need any help with the decorations?” Heydn called after Blue.

  “Ask Peyton; he’s in charge.” Blue hurried off, keenly aware of Astor’s gaze.

  “What did Case have to say, if it’s any of my business?” “He wanted to know if we needed help in the dining hall.”

  Astor stopped on the path outside the theater. “Blue, you don’t have to spare my feelings. I’d almost bet that Heydn was making some sort of apology for being stupid enough to dump you.”

  “How’d you know?”

  “It’s what I would do if I were ever that stupid.” Astor smiled. “Of course, I’d show up with a loaded pizza, the first edition ofScarlet Defender comics and the latest Nightsteed CD.”

  “You can’t buy me,” Blue said haughtily, as he started walking again, nose in the air. His sudden grin marred the affronted demeanor somewhat. “But keep trying.”

  “Have I told you I love your sense of humor?”

  “It was one of the first things you said to me, as a matter of fact.” Blue bounced up the dining hall stairs.

  “Well, I meant it.” Astor swung the left-hand door open and waited for Blue. “God, how could I possibly forget what this place smells like?”

  “Your subconscious blocks it out like any other memory that’s too horrible to bear.”

  “Hey!” Peyton called from the middle of the large hall. “If you two could take a break from making out, you can hang these nets of balloons.”

  “I hate the Old Fart Party,” Astor said, as he held a ladder for Blue.

  “You’ll get to see your mom and dad.” “Yeah, but we have to stand around talking with a bunch of blowhards. Don’t get me wrong. Some of them are related to me and I love them, but the more they drink, the louder they get, and it’s always the same old crap.”

  “I usually leave right after the buffet line starts.”

  “Stick around tonight?”

  “Sure, I’ll save you from the terminal boredom.”

  “You’re a good man, Barclay.” In two hours, the hall was festooned for a celebration and the young men of Acton-Pierce Academy’s senior class assembled in their best evening wear to mingle with the members of the board of trustees, descendants of the academy’s founders, and prominent alumni and their guests. A group of students from the school orchestra played chamber music and against one wall was a long row of tables covered with dishes and manned by the kitchen staff. A few of the bolder students asked daughters and sisters to dance, and opened the floodgates for their shyer fellows. Before long, the dance floor was crowded and the boys and girls were pairing off in private conversations. The Aldriches were late and Blue stuck by Astor until he had to relieve himself of a half-dozen ginger ales. As he returned from the men’s room, he saw Lily standing alone at the edge of the dance floor.

  “Hello, Blue darling,” she said, embracing him with a kiss on each cheek. “You look very handsome.”

  “Thank you. You look beautiful.”

  “I had my hair highlighted. I’m not certain I like it, but Avery says it looks very natural.”

  “I thought you’d been to the beach or something. Have you seen Astor?”

  “He’s right there, dear.” Lily pointed discreetly to the dance floor. “Isn’t Cecelia lovely?” Cecelia was lovely. She was tall, blonde, and willowy with narrow hips and small breasts, a body made to display designer clothing. Her long legs easily kept up with Astor’s stride as he spun her in a waltz step. She laughed fetchingly, large white teeth and bright blue eyes catching all the light in the room. The air practically shimmered around her in her silvery slip dress. “She’s beautiful,” Blue said.

  “Just picture my grandchildren,” Lily said softly.

  Blue froze, unable to take his eyes from the dancing couple to look at Mrs. Aldrich and see if she was joking or serious.

  “Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to let it slip like that. Astor…Astor cares very much for you and he made us promise not to say anything until he’d spoken with you.”

  “I need to be excused,” Blue said. “Blue, wait. You don’t understand.” Lily caught his hand. “Astor is my only child. He’s the only son in Avery’s family. I don’t mind, I truly don’t, that you and he have a special bond. I would never object to it, but you musn’t deny me my grandchildren.”

  “I don’t feel well, Mrs. Aldrich.” Blue tugged his hand free. “Excuse me please.”

  “Blue!” she called after him, but he didn’t turn around.

  Blue brushed past Rolly at the door and hurried down the stairs, taking the path that led to the lake. Rolly found Peyton in the kitchen and told him Blue had left the party looking shaken.

  “We’re not following people around anymore,” Peyton said.

  “Yeah, but I thought you’d want to know about this.” Peyton sighed. “Why do I put myself through this? Here.” He threw his clipboard at Rolly. “Make sure the custard goes out by nine.” Peyton brushed off his jacket and went into the hall in time to see Astor having an animated conversation with his mother while a thoroughbred stunner looked on. Astor pushed the girl’s hand off his arm, gave his mother a look of reproach, and headed for the doors. Peyton sighed again and went back into the kitchen.

  Astor dashed down the stairs and stopped where the walkway split into three. Given what he knew of Blue, he took the left-hand path away from civilization. Risking a broken ankle on the icy trail, he ran into the woods, calling Blue’s name. He found him at The Monks.

  “Can I talk to you?” he asked. “If you’ll tell me everything you’ve been hiding from me since Christmas…or whenever.”

  “Will you hear me out?”

  “No guarantees. Just be honest. Who’s Cecelia?” “Okay, nothing but the truth. Cece is…. I’ve known her for a long time. Her mother and Archer’s mother were sorority sisters and best friends. They joked all the time about their kids getting married someday.”

  “So now you’re going to marry her?”

  “Probably.”

  “Keep talking. I need to hear how you justify this.”

  “Blue, please—this isn’t easy for me.”

  “It isn’t? Because I’m having the time of my life.”

  “Point taken. I know you thought I was having problems with my dad, but those issues are old ones. My mom’s the one who’s been on my case lately.”

  “I thought she understood about you.”

  “She does, but she still wants grandchildren.”

  “We don’t all get what we want.” “No, that’s sure as hell true.” Astor moved closer to Blue. “We could make this work,” he said. “Cecelia knows I’m gay. She won’t mind if I have a lover, if I don’t mind hers. We could still be together.”

  “How?”

  “I’ve given it a lot of thought since I met you. I’d have to maintain a residence with Cece, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have our own place, or places all over the world.” “You’re fooling yourself. You don’t think your folks and hers aren’t going to be coming over for dinners and whatnot? And what about grandchildren? Is she going to be artificially inseminated, or are you going to do the deed?”

  “I’m not going to sleep with her.”

  “As far as I know, anyway.”

  “Blue, that’s ridiculous.”

  “This whole situation is ridiculous. You reall
y think I’m going to be your dirty little secret?” “Don’t say that. That’s not true.”

  Blue overcame his fear of losing his security and spoke with painful candor. “I won’t accept half a life, Astor. I’d rather be alone again, pretending I like it that way.” Astor bowed his head. “Here’s the rest of it. Archer’s mom and mine were sisters,” he said. “After Archer died, my Aunt Rose killed herself. My mom still feels like she should have seen it coming and been able to stop it. If a baby of mine will make her feel…”

  “I don’t want to hear any more,” Blue interrupted. “I can see that you think you have good reasons for doing this. I just can’t be part of it.”

  “So you’re too good to do something so disgusting?”

  “Yeah, and so are you.”

  “I have to do this.”

  “I understand.”

  “Please, don’t make up your mind right now. We’re really good together and a lot of people are happier with a lot less than we’d have.”

  “I couldn’t live like that. Not now. Not after New Year’s in New York.” Astor closed his eyes and savored the memory of standing in Times Square with Blue, their arms around each other, counting down the seconds with the crowd, and kissing in full view of anyone who cared to look. “I’ll never forget it.”

  “That’s the way it should be. We shouldn’t have to hide and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us if I agreed to this scheme. You should think about it again.”

  “This is going nowhere and I need to get back. Can we talk again?”

  “Yes, Astor. We can talk again.”

  “Walk back with me.”

  “I’d rather stay here for a while.”

  “I don’t like the idea of you being alone out here at night.”

  “I’m a child of the night, remember?”

  Astor didn’t smile. “Come on back with me.”

  Blue sighed. “Okay. You can walk me to the dorm.” Astor left Blue outside his building and went back to the party. Peyton saw him return and waited what he considered a reasonable time before calling Blue’s cell. He got voicemail and hung up without leaving a message. As soon as he could, he left the celebration and knocked on Blue’s door. “Come on!” he called through the wood. “Let me in. There are ogres out here.”